Blue Autumn Cruise (12 page)

Why was he staring at us?

Later, when we were going back to our room, I saw him again walking down the hall. Was he following us? He just nodded and said “Good afternoon.”

Before Grammy’s birthday celebration, Lauren had to turn in her videotape at the teen club so that Josh could broadcast it with the other teen videos. Diana wanted to stay with Iggy, but I went with Lauren.

On the way I asked Lauren about when she videotaped Guy and me. “Did you keep that? That’s not on what you’re turning in, is it?”

“Oh, I erased it,” Lauren said. “I was just joking around. I would never keep anything like that. But I’m glad I didn’t leave you two together for very long!” She poked me with her elbow.

“Nothing was going to happen!”

“Well, I made sure it didn’t.”

“You didn’t have to babysit me.”

“You’re too boy crazy for your own good, Steph. You need your cousin to keep you in line!”

“No, I don’t!” I set my jaw and glared at her.

By then we were at the teen club, and Josh greeted us.

“Hello, girls!” he said. “I wanted to say that unfortunately I wasn’t able to get permission for you to tape in the employee quarters. I thought they’d be pretty strict about that, and I was right. Sorry.”

“Well, it was worth a try,” Lauren said. She handed him her memory card. “Here’s my video,” she said. “I interviewed our steward, Manuel.”

“Nice,” Josh said. “That’s an approach we don’t see often.”

“Well, we just thought that the lives of the staff would be interesting,” Lauren said.

“Hers is really good,” I told Josh. I was mad at Lauren, but I wasn’t going to let Josh see that. “The interview with Manuel will make you cry.”

“Wow, I can’t wait to see it,” Josh said. “Tonight at
ten, we’ll be broadcasting on the ship’s channel all the videos that the teens made. Be sure to watch!”

“Great. See you later!”

A few hours later, we were in our room, tripping over each other getting ready for the dress-up dinner and Grammy’s birthday party. Both of Lauren’s dresses were lying on her bed, and all my hair products and makeup were all over mine. Even though we’d had disagreements today, the mood had changed when we started talking about Grammy’s birthday celebration. We wanted to write a good poem for her. None of us wanted to mess it up. Even Diana had gotten into it and let us French-braid her hair again.

I had on my yellow sundress, Lauren really did look older in her one-shouldered blue dress, and Diana was wearing the purple empire style Lynn and I had bought her.

“That purple color is really in,” I told Diana. “You look great.”

She gave me a look of shy pleasure. “Do you really think so?”

“I do,” I said as I buckled my strappy sandals. “I want to take pictures to show everyone at school what we looked like!”

When we met the rest of the family at our table in the restaurant, everyone made noises of appreciation.

“Three beautiful girls!” Grammy said.

“You look beautiful yourself, Grammy,” I said, and she did. She was wearing her sparkly silver top, which matched her hair, and she wore a pair of pearl earrings that had been a gift from Granddaddy many years ago.

“Doesn’t she look fabulous?” Daddy said, putting his arm around Grammy. “I feel so lucky to be able to be here with my wonderful mother on this special day.”

Then Luis and Bogdan approached our table and wished Grammy a “Happy Birthday.”

When we all sat down, Daddy suggested that we all join hands for a prayer. “Dear God,” he said, “thank you for giving us this special time with Grammy and with each other. Thank you for giving us a lifetime with Grammy to allow her to share with us her joyous outlook on life. May we be as loving and forgiving toward each other as Grammy has been with us. Amen.”

“Amen,” we all said. Then Daddy proposed a toast to Grammy, and the grown-ups lifted their wine glasses while we kids lifted our water glasses.

“To Grammy, who has always put family first and has given of herself to each one of us in ways that have meant so much,” Daddy said.

“To my mother, the woman to whom I owe everything and with whom I have the most complicated relationship on the planet!” said Aunt Carol.

“Cheers!” we all said.

“We wrote Grammy a poem,” I said, and Lauren and Diana and I stood up. I was in the middle, holding the sheet of paper with the poem. We each had a few assigned lines to read.

The whole family clapped and laughed.

“Very entertaining!” said Daddy. “Though I wouldn’t hold my breath to win any poetry awards.”

Then we gave Grammy the birthday card we’d made
her. Lauren was a pretty good artist, and she drew a picture of Grammy with all four kids on the front of the card, and then we each wrote a note to her.

I wrote:

Diana had written:

Then the grown-ups gave her a small, elongated box with white wrapping and a silver ribbon. We didn’t know about this gift! There was a hush as we all held our breath and Grammy’s strong fingers untied the silver ribbon and pulled the paper away. When she opened the box, there was a gorgeous necklace with a pink stone that the grown-ups had bought for her.

“Oh, it’s beautiful!” Grammy said, holding the necklace up in the air so all of us could see.

Luis and Bogdan then brought out a rich dark-chocolate birthday cake. Flickering on top of the cake were
seven lit candles, and one that was shorter, one for each decade of Grammy’s life, and the short one for the half-decade. The whole waitstaff gathered, with their brocade vests and white aprons, to sing “Happy Birthday” to Grammy. Grammy was smiling, but her face was wet with tears.

“I’m making a wish!” she said, closing her eyes. And she sat there for a minute, her arms in the air, her eyes closed, with the light from the candles dancing over her face and her sparkly silver top. And then she took a deep breath and blew out the candles.

Everyone in the dining room, from the waitstaff to the group at the farthest table, clapped and cheered.

When the noise finally died down, she said, “Thank you all for such a lovely birthday celebration. Nothing means more to me than being here together with the family. I love each one of you so very much.”

Each of us took turns giving Grammy a hug. I noticed that even Diana didn’t hang back.

A
fter dinner, when we were standing outside the restaurant, a TV in the hallway suddenly showed Josh from the teen club.

“Several of our teens shot and edited their own videos this week,” he said, “and we’d like to show you a little of the work they did. The first video was shot and edited by Lauren Whitt, who is fourteen, and from Gaithersburg, Maryland.”

I glanced over at Lauren, who had a huge grin on her face.

Then Lauren’s video of Manuel faded in.

“Wow! Look, Lauren, they’re showing your video!” Luke said.

The entire interview was shown, including Manuel’s description of his job, his relationship with his wife and children, and his desire to save for hearing aids for Carlo. When the moment came and Manuel looked away from the camera to hide his emotion, I felt my face begin to get hot.

I had been so annoyed about Lauren shooting videos all the time but I could see now: Lauren’s video was good. I hated to admit it. It made me see Manuel through different eyes. It almost made me cry.

“That’s a good thing you did,” Grammy said to Lauren, “making that video. Your video creates such empathy for Manuel’s situation. It makes people feel for him.”

“Thanks, Grammy.” Lauren leaned close and put her arm around Grammy’s waist. “I know some people think I’m obsessed with videotaping, but I think it’s a fantastic way to communicate.”

Was that me she was talking about, me thinking she was obsessed? I could feel myself getting mad. Did she mean me? The truth was, I had been holding myself back the whole cruise. There were so many times when I wanted to say something to her and I had bitten my tongue. Dr. Shrink would have been proud.

“At the end of the day,” said Uncle Ted, “we’re very proud of you, Lauren.”

He said “at the end of the day.” Was he saying that on purpose? To tell Lauren that it was okay that she and Stephanie made fun of him? So maybe he was saying that me mentioning it was wrong?

“We certainly are proud,” said Aunt Carol, and the family applauded as Aunt Carol and Uncle Ted gave Lauren a hug.

“Yeah, we’re proud, too,” Stephanie said, glancing over at me

Now I had to say something! I looked at my feet, then looked over at Lauren.

“Yeah,” was all I could say.

When it came time to leave, Stephanie offered to help Grammy carry her presents and cards and the rest of the cake to her room. I tensed up. That meant Lauren and I would be walking back to our room without her. We hadn’t been together, just the two of us, the whole cruise.

I told the ‘rents that I was going back to the room to finish my horse book. Lauren told hers that she might go to the teen club after changing out of her fancy dress. Good! Then I could be alone in the room with Iggy. As Lauren and I headed down the elevator together, I felt self-conscious being trapped in there with her and couldn’t think of anything to say.

“Everybody loved my video,” she said.

“Yeah. It was good,” I said. So pat yourself on the back, why don’t you? Talk about fishing for a compliment!

“Don’t be jealous, now,” she said in a light, teasing voice.

The elevator doors opened on our floor and she stepped out.

“Jealous? Why would I be jealous of you?” I said, stumbling out after her.

“Why? Oh, I don’t know, I was just kidding,” she said. “Maybe you’re jealous that Stephanie and I have known each other our whole lives.”

We were facing each other in the lobby beside the elevator, me in my purple dress with the frills, Lauren in her off the shoulder style. People were walking by, but I was so mad I didn’t care.

“Maybe you’re jealous of me!” I said. “Maybe you’re jealous because now Stephanie and I are sisters and we will get closer than you could ever be!”

Lauren waved me off and started walking down the corridor. “You’ve only known each other for two years.”

“So? That’s being together, for the past few months, every day! You guys hardly ever see each other.”

“Stephanie and I have been cousins since we were babies! I’ve been through her parents’ divorce with her. We’ll be close forever!”

“Stephanie and I will be stepsisters forever!” I said. The moment I said it I stopped. I hadn’t until this very instant realized how strongly I felt.

Lauren didn’t see me stop, and she kept walking down the corridor. After a minute she stopped and turned to face me, speaking loudly to cover the distance between us. “Stephanie is crazy about me. I bet she told you great things about me. Tell me what she said.”

I answered quietly. “She said you were awesome and that I would love you.”

There was a silence between us.

“What did she tell you about me?” I took a few steps closer.

“The same thing,” Lauren said.

The silence drew out longer. Lauren and I stood, both of us out of breath, staring at each other. Moronic Mood-o-meter at about eight. Dr. Shrink would say to count to ten and take some deep breaths.

While I was counting, I started to feel embarrassed for acting the way I did, and looked away. About that time Lauren sighed and looked at her feet.

“Maybe we could just try a little harder,” Lauren said at last.

“Okay,” I agreed. My eyes were stinging. “I better go check on Iggy.”

O
nce we put her necklace and cards away, Grammy gestured toward her balcony and said, “Honey, why don’t you sit out on the balcony with me for a little while?”

“Okay,” I said, walking outside. I hadn’t really gotten much of a chance to talk to Grammy so far, and her advice meant a lot to me. I really wanted to talk to her about the disagreements between Lauren and Diana. I also wanted to talk to her about living with Daddy and Lynn.

There was a light breeze, and the lights from the ship bounced off the dark, choppy waves below. I could hear the low murmur of the voices of other people sitting on their balconies talking.

Grammy carefully grasped the arm of a chair, then lowered herself into it. “Now that I’m seventy-five, I’ll have to be more careful about getting around,” she said. “What you wrote on my card was really very sweet, Stephanie. I appreciate it.”

“Did you like our silly poem?” I asked.

“Oh yes, it was very literary.” Grammy laughed.

“I guess you can’t tell what you wished for when you blew out your candles,” I said teasingly.

“Oh, I don’t mind telling,” Grammy said. “I wished for God to watch over every one of you.” She crossed her legs and leaned her cheek on her hand. “So, tell me how things are going now that you’re living with your father. How did your mother take it?”

“She started crying,” I said. I thought about Mama turning her face away from me and trying to wipe away the tears without me seeing. “And she misses me. It made me feel even more awful. But, you know, Barry’s son, Matt, who flunked out of college last year, is living with them. I didn’t like living with him, and I didn’t like his friends.” I didn’t want to tell Grammy the details, about the beer they stole and drank or the
Adderall pills they were selling. Sometimes it’s best not to tell older people everything.

“But your mother understood?”

“She told me she did, and she said that things were tough with Matt right now, and she wanted me to be happy. But on the weekends when I go back there to stay now, she makes special plans for us, and she always seems so sad when it’s time for me to leave. Last time I visited, she said maybe once Matt is on his own again I can move back.”

“Do you think you will?”

I took a deep breath. “I don’t know. I’m tired of moving around. I wish I could just stay in one place,” I said honestly. “I feel like I’ve settled in at Daddy’s, and I’d like to stay there.”

“Well, then that’s what you need to say to people,” Grammy said. “What you did wasn’t easy, Stephanie, and I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself.”

“Thanks, that means a lot, Grammy.” Waves splashed faintly against the sides of the ship. A soft breeze threaded through our hair.

“What about you and Diana?” The breeze picked up a little, and Grammy pulled her wrap a bit more tightly around her.

“We’re getting along better and better,” I said. “This
trip has been a challenge, though, because she and Lauren keep having fights.”

“I’m sorry to hear that!” Grammy said. “What kind of fights?”

Then I was sorry I said that. Maybe Grammy would ask for more details, and I would have to lie about the iguana. But I told her about the fight over Uncle Ted’s “the end of the day” sayings, and surprisingly, it seemed as though she already knew what had happened.

“I can see you’ve tried very hard to have a good relationship with Diana, and I’m proud of you for doing that,” Grammy said. “It’s important in life to work at our relationships. They’re everything we’ve got. That’s what I always say, Stephanie. God has given us others to love. Life is relationships and what we make of them.”

I examined my hands in my lap. I had suddenly remembered the kids at school calling Diana “annn-i-mal,” and the fact that it was because of something I had said. I couldn’t seem to forget that. And I remembered what Guy had said about taking responsibility for what I had done.

“Grammy, I did something I’m not proud of,” I said. Her face was hard to see in the dark.

“What’s that, honey?”

“I was mad at Diana one day because she was rude, and I told a friend of mine that Diana liked animals more than people. She must have told someone else about it, because a few days later, some of the people at school were calling her ‘annn-i-mal’ in really mean voices. Her feelings were so hurt about it, and I think it was because of me saying that about her.”

Grammy was silent for a minute. “Things like that can happen. That’s really unfortunate. You didn’t do it on purpose, but what you said caused damage.”

She didn’t tell me it was okay that I had done it. That’s one thing I liked about talking to Grammy. She was honest. She didn’t just try to make you feel okay about things.

“Have you apologized to her?”

I shook my head. “I haven’t even admitted that I think it was me that started it. She doesn’t know.” I hadn’t even said anything to Daddy about it. I had kept it a deep dark secret. Except for Guy.

“Well—” said Grammy.

Suddenly there was a knock on Grammy’s door. Grammy grasped the arms of her chair to get up, but I said, “That’s okay, I’ll get it,” and I jumped up and ran to the door. When I opened it, Diana was there. Her face was twisted with deep distress.

“Iggy’s gone!” she hissed.

“Oh no!”

“What’s wrong?” came Grammy’s voice.

I glanced back and saw Grammy stand up and come to the balcony entrance.

Diana came in, whispering. “I’ve looked everywhere in the room. He’s not in there. He’s either escaped or someone has taken him.”