Blue Eyes and Other Teenage Hazards (12 page)

“Nothing. He just asked if I’d like to go out sometime.”

Josh tapped his hands against the steering wheel. “So, you’re going to date Bob again?”

“He promised not to hit me this time.”

“And you believe him?”

“I don’t think you have room to talk after you sprained Courtney’s ankle.”

Josh turned on the car and pulled into the street. “It wasn’t me. It was the three other people we ran into.”

“Bob and I will even be able to go skating, because I know how.”

Josh eyed me suspiciously. “I thought you said none of the girls in Pull man skated.”

“I said it was hard to do. I happen to be one of those who didn’t mind going thirty miles an hour straight down a hill. I’m a thril seeker at heart.”

“Which is why you’re willing to go out with Bob again.”

“Bob doesn’t have any stupid logical theories about dating.”

Josh took his eyes off the road long enough to give me a meaningful stare. “My theories aren’t stupid.”

“So how are they working?”

“Lousy. I can’t go out with anyone else while Elise thinks I’m dating you.”

“I never told her we were exclusive.”

“Elise knows I date one girl at a time.”

“I said you could end it anytime you wanted,” I reminded him. “Do you want me to dump you for Bob?”

“No,” Josh said stiffly. “I don’t want to be dumped for Bob.”

“Then dump me for whoever you think is the logical choice.”

Josh shrugged off the comment. “I haven’t found a logical choice.”

“They’re stupid theories,” I said again. “Call me a romantic, but romance is supposed to have something to do with it.” Josh looked straight ahead. “If you want dating to work, it has to be logical. Take you, for example. Logically, I could never really ask you out.”

“Why not? Your German shepherd wouldn’t approve?”

“It would jeopardize your friendship with Elise. Think about it. What would happen if we had a fight? Elise would have to choose sides.”

“And you assume she’d choose yours?”

Josh didn’t answer my question. I’m not sure he was even listening. “You couldn’t come to our house anymore because you wouldn’t want to see me. You wouldn’t ride with us in the morning for the same reason. Every time Elise mentioned me, you’d say something snide. It would be bad all around.”

“Why? Are you a total jerk when you break up with a girl?”

“Not me. Everybody. That’s how dating works. Somebody always gets hurt. The whole “Let’s be friends” business is a myth. You always end up avoiding your ex-girlfriends. I don’t want to end up avoiding you.”

“Thanks, Josh.” I tried unsuccessfully to keep my voice light. “I’ve never been so flattered by someone telling me he doesn’t want to date me. I’ll remember not to ask you to the Tolo dance.”

“That’s not what I meant, Cassidy. You can ask me if you want.”

“But you’d tell me no.”

“No, I wouldn’t.”

“You’d say yes, but then you’d avoid me for the rest of your life?”

He exhaled deeply. “You don’t understand. I guess I shouldn’t expect you to. You’re only a sophomore.”

“Oh, now I’m immature.” I folded my arms and looked out of the window.

“You see, we haven’t even dated and we’re fighting. It would never work. I rest my case.”

“Well, you don’t have to worry,” I said. “I hadn’t planned on asking you to the Tolo.”

“Oh?” His eyebrow hiked up. “Who were you going to ask?”

“I don’t know. It’s months away. I have to find a guy I’m going to want to avoid after we break up.”

“You’ll probably ask Bob.”

“I could stand to avoid Bob.”

Josh shifted his hands on the steering wheel. “You know, I’m the one who took Bob clothes shopping. I told him to get contacts. I made him get a decent hair cut. I even coached him on what to say to girls. Bob isn’t Bob. Bob is me.”

“Why do you care whether or not I go with Bob? You don’t want to go with me.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t want to go with you,” Josh’s voice grew defensive. “I said I shouldn’t.”

“Right. You shouldn’t, but you wouldn’t say no if I asked. You’re so patronizing, Josh. Do you think I need pity dates?”

“This has nothing to do with pity. This is logic.” He pulled up in front of my house and put the car in park. “I’m leaving for college next year. And even if we did go to the same college, you wouldn’t be there for two years. You’ll be here doing high school stuff. football games, prom—you’ll probably have a different date for every night of the week.” He shook his head. “I don’t want to have to worry about a long-distance romance.” I took hold of the door handle. “You’ve already thought out the next two years of my life. That isn’t logic. That’s craziness.”

“You probably won’t even call me while I’m away,” he went on. “I don’t think I should go to the Tolo with you, after all.”

“I never asked you to.” I got out of the car and slammed the door shut.

I found Mom in the kitchen cleaning out the fridge. Our table was covered with condiments, milk jugs, and all the vegetables mom stoically brought out at dinner but that Dad and I mostly ignored.

I plunked down on one of the kitchen chairs. “I’m giving up on men. I’m sorry, but you’ll never have grandchildren.” Mom dunked her rag in a bucket of water. “What happened?”

“Apparently I’m so bad at relationships, I now have guys breaking up with me who I’ve never even dated.” She peered around the fridge door at me. “What?”

“Josh just gave me a list of reasons why he’d never go out with me.”

Mom’s eyebrows dipped together. “Were you flirting with him? Did he feel pursued?”

“No. We were talking about logic. It was out of the blue.”

Mom peeled off her rubber gloves and stood up. “Honey, I think there’s something wrong with that family. Why don’t you stop hanging around them? I’ll let you take my car to school.”

I thought about the offer. I really did. “I don’t know. I still want to talk to Elise. It’s just . . . I can’t figure out Josh. I can’t figure out guys at all.” I threw up my hands. “And to think I wanted to start dating.”

The phone rang. Mom checked the caller ID. “It’s Josh.”

I took the phone anyway. “hello?”

“Hey, Cassidy. Look, I’m sorry about our fight. I didn’t mean to upset you. I’ll go with you to the Tolo.” I waited for a moment. “Who is this?”

“Very funny. You know it’s Josh.”

“Josh who?”

“I don’t even know what day the Tolo is, but I’ll pick you up at seven o’clock.”

“It’s supposed to be a girl-ask-guy thing,” I said. “I’ll pick you up at seven o’clock.”

“Good. I’ll see you then.”

“Josh, I’m warning you. I’m going to buy something new to wear for this, so don’t change your mind and decide it doesn’t fit into your logical life plan. Once I go shopping, you’re committed.”

“Fine,” he replied. “Tell me what color you’re wearing, and I’ll get something to match.”

“Fine. I’ll see you at seven o’clock.”

I hung up the phone and noticed Mom staring. “Did Josh just ask you out?”

“Well, not really. He said he’d go to the Tolo with me.”

“Did you ask him out?”

“No. But we’re going now.”

She shook her head. “You know, until this moment I thought I could counsel you about teenage boys. Evidently a lot has changed since I went to high school.”

I wondered if Josh would treat me differently now that we had an actual date in the works. He did. He didn’t open any doors for me or send me knowing looks. He didn’t even mention our social plans. However, he did act more distant and talked to me less. When I talked to him, he seemed preoccupied. I supposed he regretted the whole Tolo thing and didn’t want to encourage me further by acting interested or, for that matter, polite.

It was an unfair attitude, considering he was the one who’d insisted we go to the dance in the first place. At first I tried to joke around with him. I thought it would put him at ease. It didn’t. After a few days of being given this cool treatment, I ignored him in the car and talked to Elise.

On Thursday after Josh dropped us off in the morning, Elise kept glancing at me while we walked to our lockers. “Are you and Josh fighting?” she asked.

I sighed and looked down at the books in my arms. I figured it was as good a time as any to end the facade.

“You could tell, huh?”

“What did he do?”

I smiled and she looked at me questioningly. I said, “He told me once that if we ever fought you’d be forced to choose sides. He assumed you’d choose his side.”

Elise let out a snort. “I live with him. I know how impossible he can be. Now, what did he do?” I fiddled with the pages of my Spanish notebook. “I think he regrets going out with me. It’s like he’s embarrassed to date someone so young.

He doesn’t introduce me to his friends. He won’t tell people about us. It makes me feel like a second-class citizen.”

“Men can be such pigs.”

“Then we had a fight about the Tolo. We decided we’d go, but I think he wants to get out of it. He acts so tense. He must want to break up.”

“Pigs, pigs, pigs.”

“I guess I’d better talk to him—you know, tell him if he wants to call everything off, it’s okay.” Elise put her hand on my arm. “Will you be all right?”

“Sure. There are more fish in the sea—of course I never did like fish, but I won’t be too lonely. I have my friends, my schoolwork . . . and Bob said he’d call me sometime.”

“I can set you up with someone,” Elise said.

I shook my head. “I need time by myself.”

“That’s the last thing you need. Look, there’s a party Saturday night at Darren Fletcher’s house. The whole football team will be there. You’d have lots of fun.”

“I can’t.”

“If you went with me, you’d feel differently. Give guys a chance to see you in an environment where you don’t have a book in front of your face. I’ll introduce you to some upperclassmen super-studs.”

“No, thanks.” She didn’t look convinced, so I added more forcefully, “I don’t need any more Carparkaphobia stories.” I should have known she wouldn’t leave it at that.

* * *

He threw one of his books into his locker. “Great. Anything else happen while I’ve been away?”

“I thought you wanted it this way.”

His gaze flashed to mine. “How come I have no say in what you tell Elise about us?”

“What did you want to say?”

He ignored my question. “Did you tell her you were dumping me for Bob?”

“No. I said you didn’t want to date someone so young.”

“Why? Did you get younger than you where when I decided to date you in the first place?”

“No. You had a change of heart.”

He pulled his physics book from his locker and gripped it tightly. “And Elise believes that?”

“She called you a pig.”

He glared at me again. “Great.”

“She’s not really mad at you.”

“Yeah, just wait until I tell her my side of the story.”

I shifted my books nervously. “What’s your side of the story?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t made it up yet. You can hear about it the way I hear about these things—after the fact and as a surprise. Maybe I found out you two-timed me.”

I tilted my chin down in disbelief. “You’re not going to tell her that.”

He gave me a smile that looked very much like Elise’s wicked one. “You’ll have to wait and see, won’t you?”

* * *

After a couple minutes of small talk, he asked, “Are you doing anything tonight, Cassidy?” I shook my head.

“Great,” he said “My parents had planned on going to a dinner theater up on campus tonight, but my Aunt Sophia called this morning. She’s driving up from Colorado and wants to stop here on her way to Seattle. They gave me the tickets because I was never crazy about Aunt Sophia anyway. I don’t mind missing her.”

I smiled politely and waited for him to make sense.

He watched my expression for another moment. “Do you think you could go?”

“To Seattle?” Elise asked.

“To the dinner theater,” Bob said.

“Sure,” I answered. “What time is it?”

He glanced at his watch. “Three o’clock.” Then he blushed. “You meant what time is the dinner theater, didn’t you?” I nodded.

“Six. I’ll pick you up at a quarter ‘til. Sorry it’s such short notice, but you don’t need to do anything to yourself. You always look nice.” We’d almost reached Josh’s car by this time. Bob headed toward his own. “See you later.” Elise watched him go and let out a huff of exasperation.

“Bob is nice,” I said.

“This is all Josh’s fault,” she answered.

When we got into the car, Elise glared at her brother.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Nothing,” she said pointedly. “Everything is fine with me. I’m having a normal, happy day. How about you?”

“I’ve had better,” he said.

I watched the scenery go by the window and pretended I didn’t know what they were talking about.

* * *

When we got to my house, Bob walked me to my doorstep. “Sorry the play was such a bomb. I hope you had a good time anyway.”

“I did. Thanks for taking me.”

“We’ll have to do something again sometime.”

“Sure.”

We looked at each other for a moment, and I wondered if he wanted to kiss me. Then I wondered if I should let him. What exactly did a goodnight kiss mean? That you were boyfriend and girlfriend? I didn’t want that. Not yet. Maybe never. How did people know enough about each other after two dates to make that sort of decision?

A voice in the back of my head said, “If this was Josh, you would kiss him.”

I hated the fact that I was letting Josh, who clearly didn’t want to kiss me, intrude into my date with Bob. But there it was. The truth never cares whether it’s a convenient time to present itself. I liked Josh. A lot. Which meant it wasn’t right to kiss Bob.

I took hold of the doorknob before any more time passed. “Well, good night.”

Bob nodded. “Good night.”

I went inside. As I got ready for bed, I tried not to think of Josh anymore. I didn’t succeed.

* * *

At ten o’clock Elise called to ask for a ride home from Darren’s party. Chad had driven her there, but Elise said he wasn’t in a condition to drive anymore. I hesitated before answering her. My parents would be back anytime. I knew they expected me to be home. “Can’t you call your house?” I asked.

“No. Then my parents would know I’ve been drinking.”

“Won’t they know when they see you?” After all, I could tell just by her voice.

“I’m only one of eight people living in the house. Mom is throwing up. Dad is busy keeping the little people happy. They don’t pay close attention to me. But if you can’t come pick me up, I’ll have to risk it and make Chad take me. Of course, we might crash and die—might even plow into a few innocent bystanders . . .”

“All right. I’m on my way.”

I thought of texting my parents to tell them where I was going. I wrote a note and left it on the table instead. A text they would read right away.

With any luck, I’d be home to throw away the note before they had a chance to see it.

I drove to Darren’s quickly, jogged up his front walk, and knocked on the door. When no one answered, I rang the bell. A guy I recognized from the football team opened the door.

“Hey!” He turned his head and yelled back into the house, “It’s more chicks!” A general hurrah went up from the living room.

“I’m here to pick up Elise,” I said.

The guy turned his head again. “Nope, it’s just one chick!” He turned back to me. “Don’t just stand there, come in.” I took two steps into the entryway. “Is Elise Benson here?”

“Sure. I saw her around somewhere.”

“Could you find her for me please?”

“I’ll see.” He threw his head back and yelled, “HEY ELISE!”

No one answered. No one even looked up. “Can’t find her,” the guy said. “You might want to try in the kitchen.”

“Thanks.” I navigated my way across the living room, trying not to step on people sprawled around on the floor. It was dark and a hard to tell which blobs were bodies and which were coats. I noticed people cluttering the hallway and sitting on the stairs too. I wondered if I’d have to search the whole house for Elise.

As I wandered through the dining room, a guy came up and offered me a beer.

“No thanks,” I said. “I’m just here to pick someone up.”

He stepped closer to me. “Wow, you don’t waste any time, do you?”

“I mean, I’m here to pickup my friend, Elise, and take her home.”

“Wouldn’t you rather take me home?”

“Excuse me,” I said, pushing past him. “I need to find Elise.”

A few minutes later, I did. She was sitting on Chad’s lap on one of many chairs set up in the kitchen. She saw me, called, “Cassidy!” and stood and hugged me. “You know, I really love you, Cassidy.”

“That’s nice. Let’s go home.”

She turned and chimed, “Hey everybody, this is Cassidy Woodruff. My jerky brother broke up with her Thursday, so she’s suffering from a broken heart. Be nice to her.”

A collective “Ahh” went through the room.

I put my hand over my face. “Can we go now?”

“I have to finish my beer. Sit down. Enjoy life. Carpe diem. If you don’t seize the moment, the moment will never seize you. ” Seize? That sounded like what happened when you had a heart attack. I sat down and glared at her. She didn’t notice. She was back on Chad’s lap. He had his arm around her waist.

“So Cassidy,” he said, “how’s your poetry going?”

“Fine.”

“You want something to drink?”

“No.”

Elise held out her glass to me. “It won’t bite you, you know. This beer is perfectly tame.”

“Elise, I thought you called me for a ride home.”

“I did. But you might as well have a good time while you’re here. Think how jealous Josh will be.” She turned and motioned to someone. “Hey, Brandon, come here. I want you to meet my friend.”

A tall guy with light brown hair and a football-player strut came over. He grinned. I tried not to look as uncomfortable as I felt.

“Cassidy, this is Brandon, super stud extraordinaire. Brandon, this is Cassidy, or—as she’s sometimes known—Cassi-Diem.” Brandon sat down beside me. He spoke louder than he needed to. “So, you’re on the rebound, huh?”

“Sort of. I mean . . . actually I’m here to take Elise home.”

He took a sip of his beer. “Why don’t you tell me about it.”

“Well, I plan on putting her in the car and driving to her house.”

I glanced over at Elise. She was messing up Chad’s hair and laughing about something. I knew she wasn’t about to leave. She had set this whole thing up.

I sent her psychic kill vibes.

“No,” Brandon said, “I mean tell me about yourself.” He put his arm across the back of my chair. “I’m very compassionate—emphasis on the passionate. Tell me how you need someone to comfort you.”

“Thanks for the concern. I’ll be fine.”

He took a sip of his beer and gazed at me. “You have beautiful eyes. Kind of greenish, brownish—”

“Hazel,” I said.

The stereo system, which had been blaring loudly ever since I came inside, switched to a song Brandon apparently knew and liked. He looked at me and sang along. Almost on key.

I tried to catch Elise’s attention by staring at her, but she was completely occupied with Chad’s blond hair. I wondered how long she would take to finish her beer.

Three minutes. I would give her three minutes and then we were going.

While trying to ignore the second verse of Brandon’s song, I gave the room a good overview. The kitchen connected with the family room, so I could see a lot of people. A guy was stumbling out a version of Dance, Dance Revolution, while a few people cheered him on—probably waiting to see if he’d fall over. Everybody had drinks in their hands. Some people were talking and laughing. Some people looked bored. Some people appeared to be on the final lap of the race to unconsciousness. One guy lay under the coffee table—just lay there—staring up at the underside of the table.

I thought of all the people I’d passed on the way to the kitchen and how a lot of them wore dull expressions. One group sat in front of a laptop in the living room and watched YouTube videos. Did they have to come to someone else’s house to do that? What was the point?