Blue Moon (29 page)

Jim’s letters were full of praise for his tutor. He was enjoying what he was doing. Wildlife photography was very different from the portraiture he’d been used to, and at the moment Jim wasn’t sure which he liked doing most.
I want to marry you as soon as possible
, he wrote.
I have a little money saved, but I can’t support a wife yet. We must be careful, my love. You must be the strong one
.

She knew what he meant. If they hadn’t been interrupted that night, when Mr Hayward came home early, she could have been in all sorts of trouble. Jim was asking her to be the strong one, but Ruby wasn’t sure she could be.

Edith from Warnes Hotel turned up at Ruby’s place.

‘We all miss you, Roob,’ she told her. ‘We couldn’t believe what that old cow did. She told us you’d just walked out.’

‘All in the past,’ said Ruby, anxious not to discuss it in case she cried. ‘How’s Bernard from the bacon counter?’

Edith gave her a nudge. ‘Promoted now,’ she chuckled, ‘so you won’t be able to tease me any more. He’s been given a more managerial position, so he’ll be ordering from suppliers.’

‘That’s marvellous, Edith!’ cried Ruby. ‘Does that mean your mother might let you get married sooner?’

Edith shook her head sadly. ‘Not a chance.’

‘Oh, dear,’ Ruby sympathized.

‘Anyway, tell me something about yourself,’ Edith said, and Ruby told her about Percy coming home, and about her new job at the hospital. Edith was fascinated to hear that Ruby was having German lessons, so Ruby dazzled her with a couple of sentences. ‘You always were a clever bugger, Ruby Bateman,’ she said admiringly, and Ruby blushed.

‘How’s Mrs Fosdyke?’ she asked.

‘It’s better on the days when she doesn’t turn up,’ Edith shrugged. ‘We always seem to be in her bad books these days. You always kept us in line.’

‘And there you were, calling me a slave-driver,’ Ruby laughed.

‘You have to admit that you were good at organizing us, Roob,’ said Edith quite seriously. ‘And when you did, you never made us feel like something on the bottom of your shoe. I wish we had someone like you in charge.’

Ruby nudged her playfully. ‘Go on with you.’

‘It’s true,’ said Edith.

‘Well, thank you,’ said Ruby, deeply touched. ‘You have no idea what that means to me.’

When she had gone, Ruby turned over the old postcards
she’d had from Miss Russell. Such lovely exciting places, but it was no good wishing for something that was never going to be. She took them down to put them on the fire, but she just couldn’t do it. Instead, she put them in a box. It was time to turn her back on the past and look to the future, wherever that might lie.

That night, despite her best intentions, Ruby lay in her bed thinking about what might have been. Why was it that all the major events in her life never seemed to work out properly? She had wanted to train as a typist, but her father had made her work at Warnes. He’d died just as she’d got the opportunity to work for Miss Russell, but she couldn’t walk out and leave her mother. And now Jim wanted to marry her. She loved him a lot and looked forward to being with him, but she worried that even that would go wrong.
Dear God
, she prayed,
let everything go right this time
.

CHAPTER 24

Bea stirred the few potatoes, carrots and onions in the pot and sighed. She hadn’t got a lot in the cupboard when she’d started the meal, and even less now. Her stomach rumbled. With Percy back home, she had thought things would get a lot easier, but if anything they were worse. The weather hadn’t helped. Percy hadn’t been able to fish, and he’d made no attempt to find something else to tide them over. What was even worse was that ever since he’d come home he’d become more and more morose and bad-tempered.

John was paying two lots of rent now, which certainly kept the wolf from the door, but with another hungry man in the house and two rooms to heat, it was getting harder to manage the housekeeping. Although she was working now, Ruby hadn’t had a job for the whole of January. She brought home even less now than she did from Warnes. May needed new shoes, which had eaten into Bea’s reserves, small as they were, and although during the day she survived at home on her own with no fire at all, the coal-hole was almost empty.

Of course she knew she was luckier than some. Poor
Linton’s chest was getting worse every week. She could only manage to walk to Heene on a Wednesday, and even that was a struggle, but Mabel had been relieved to hear that her husband’s nephew was still alive and kicking. In the north of the country the Depression meant that families were literally starving. Bea kept a shilling on the mantelpiece, in case anyone needed the doctor, but she didn’t tell the family how ill she herself was feeling. Dizzy and often light-headed or with a thumping headache, she was beginning to find everything a real effort. She was feeling down all the time, and even though she tried to shake it off, she knew it was getting worse. On top of that, she had lost weight. Her clothes hung on her now, although an extra jumper to keep the biting cold at bay hid it from the family. The one thing that kept her going was the thought of seeing Rex later in the year.

Life was difficult in other ways too. May was always complaining. Nelson had spoiled her rotten, giving her everything she asked for, and it was difficult for the child to adjust. ‘Why can’t I have a new book?’ ‘Why can’t I go to the party?’ ‘Elsie Thomas has ribbons in her hair, so why can’t I?’ The questions went on and on, wearing Bea out with the continuous whining that accompanied them.

She tasted the stew with a spoon and it was delicious. The little bit of scrag end of mutton that she’d got from the butcher made all the difference. With a hunk of bread to pad it out, it would at least be a nourishing
meal for John and the family. Ruby got paid today, so they could eat better tomorrow.

She heard Percy come in and called out a greeting. He took off his boots in the scullery and came into the kitchen.

‘Not very warm in here,’ he remarked. ‘Has the fire gone out?’

‘No,’ said Bea, anxious that he might put more coal on the fire. ‘It’s taking a while to get going, that’s all. How did you get on today?’

‘For God’s sake, Mother,’ he snapped. ‘Don’t start nagging the minute I get in the door.’

‘I wasn’t,’ Bea protested innocently. ‘I only asked—’

‘Well, don’t!’ Percy shouted.

Bea turned her back and, biting back her tears, stirred the pot again.

‘Aren’t you dishing up now?’ Percy asked.

‘We have to wait for John.’

‘Why?’ Percy demanded. ‘If he can’t be here on time, why should we wait? I want to go out tonight, Mother. Serve mine now.’

The door opened and Ruby called, ‘Hello, Mum.’ She came into the room, taking her scarf from around her neck. ‘Oooh, not very warm in here.’

‘That’s what I said,’ said Percy, shaking out his paper.

Bea said nothing. Ruby kissed her mother’s cheek and handed over her unopened wage packet. ‘Where’s May?’

‘Gone over to Elsie’s place,’ said Bea. ‘I’m just about to fetch her. There’s a letter for you on the mantelpiece.’

‘Want me to go and fetch May, Mum?’ asked Ruby cheerfully. ‘I’ve still got my coat on.’

‘No, love,’ said Bea. ‘I need to have a word with Elsie’s mother. Lay the table, will you?’

Ruby took off her coat and hung it up. She took her letter down from the mantelpiece and smiled. It was from Jim. She would read it later. Taking the cutlery from the drawer, she said, ‘How’s the fishing?’

‘Don’t you start,’ Percy growled.

The two women glanced at each other with a knowing look, then carried on with what they were doing. Bea dished up a portion of stew for Ruby and Percy. Pushing the loaf of bread in front of them, she said, ‘Eat up. Save enough for John and May. I shan’t be long.’

‘What about you?’ Ruby frowned.

‘I had mine earlier,’ said Bea, putting on her coat. ‘Won’t be long.’

Percy took his plate to the pot of stew. ‘Go easy on that,’ said Ruby.

‘There’s not enough on my plate to feed a flea,’ said Percy. ‘And if I want to find a piece of meat, I’ll have to send in the dogs.’

‘Percy, please don’t take too much,’ Ruby insisted. ‘I don’t think Mother has had anything.’

He threw himself sulkily back in his seat. ‘It’s not my fault the weather’s too bad to fish.’

‘Times are hard,’ she observed.

‘Times are hard, times are hard,’ he mimicked. ‘What do you expect, with this bloody government? The whole country needs a damned good shaking.’

Ruby was shocked. ‘What’s the matter with you? You’re like a bear with a sore head.’

‘This is not what I planned for my life,’ he said angrily.

‘That’s funny,’ said Ruby. ‘I feel exactly the same way. The only difference between you and me is that, being a man, you can make changes. Being a woman, I can’t.’

‘I’ve had my offers,’ said Percy. ‘They want me to work in the BUF HQ.’

‘Why don’t you then?’ Ruby challenged.

He stared at her in shocked silence, a piece of torn bread still hanging from his mouth. He’d never before heard Ruby answer back. The door opened behind them and John walked into the kitchen.

‘I’m sorry,’ said John. ‘Am I late?’

‘Yes,’ Percy mumbled.

‘Not at all,’ said Ruby, jumping immediately to her feet to get another plate of stew. John sat at the table, with a nod in Percy’s direction. ‘My mother has gone to fetch May from a friend’s house.’

They ate in awkward silence.

‘It is good,’ said John.

‘You’re welcome,’ said Ruby, conscious that there was little left in the pot, and her mother and May were still to come.

‘It is good,’ John repeated.

The door opened again as Bea and May came in, and May’s shrill voice pervaded the room. ‘Elsie has got a teddy at one end and she puts her dolly at the other end. It’s not fair.’

‘Lots of things are not fair,’ said Bea patiently. ‘Now sit up to the table.’

May hauled herself onto a chair and sat there with a pouty mouth.

‘What’s up with you?’ Percy asked.

‘She’s cross because Elsie has a new dolly’s pram, and she can’t have one,’ said Bea.

‘It’s a twin pram,’ said May, ‘and it’s not fair.’

Her mother put a plate of stew in front of May and smiled at John. ‘More stew, John?’

Ruby’s heart sank as John held out his plate. She dared not say anything, but if he had more, there would be virtually nothing left for her mother.

‘I don’t want this,’ May scowled.

‘Eat up,’ said Ruby quietly in her ear. ‘There’s nothing else. You’ll be hungry.’

May pushed the plate away from her so vigorously it tipped up and the contents went all over the tablecloth.

‘May!’ Ruby scolded firmly, and at the same time there was a loud thud, followed by the sound of a plate smashing onto the stone floor behind her. When Ruby turned round, her mother was on the floor, her white face turned towards the ceiling.

Percy leapt to his feet in shocked surprise. ‘Oh my God, Ruby!’ he cried. ‘Is she dead?’

CHAPTER 25

Cousin Lily lay back on the pillow and closed her eyes. By her side Albert snored gently. This wasn’t how she’d imagined it would be. There was no conversation between them now. She and Albert had been together for almost four months, and it had been a few weeks since she’d given herself to him for the first time. Back then he had been the perfect lover; a little hurried at times, but he’d said romantic things and talked of the day they would marry. She wanted to tell the family of their plans, but Albert wouldn’t hear of it.

‘I’ll lose my job on the paper, and then we’ll never get married,’ he’d told her. ‘I have to remain impartial. If they discover I’m stepping out with a local girl, they’ll move me on or get a new reporter.’

‘Don’t newspaper men get married then?’ she’d asked. ‘Surely they’re not expected to be like priests.’

‘Of course not, but I’m still on my way up,’ he’d insisted, ‘and I have to be seen to be impartial. Please don’t ruin everything for me, darling.’

‘But I want to be married,’ she’d pouted.

‘And we will,’ he’d said, pulling her closer.

‘I’m scared I’m going to end up having a baby,’ she’d said.

‘You leave all that sort of thing to me,’ he’d laughed, as he mounted her again. ‘You’re not in the pudding club yet, are you?’

She recalled how tender he had been in the beginning. He was different now; more irritated by her protests, and he’d begun choosing less desirable places for their lovemaking as well. This room was awful. She’d closed her eyes, because she couldn’t bear to look at it. They were in some seedy hotel in the back of beyond, where the landlord wanted some of his money up front and the men in the bar leered at her as Albert took her upstairs. He’d brought no suitcase, so it was obvious why they were there.

She’d tried to say something before they’d made love, but Albert was in too much of a hurry. At one point he’d even told her to ‘just shut up!’ and she’d cried. He’d qualified what he’d said by telling her someone was listening at the door, but she didn’t believe him. He was kinder after that, but Lily felt used and dirty.

Her mother had always taught her not to give in to a boy. ‘Once they’ve had their way with you,’ she’d cautioned, ‘they’ll either tell their mates you were easy and you’ll get a reputation, or they’ll get bored with you and find somebody else. Men never marry the girls they sleep with.’ Maybe Mum was right. After four months of seeing Albert there was still no engagement ring on her finger.

And another thing: he kept asking her questions all
the time. Had she heard from Percy? Where was he, and when would he be back? He was still asking questions when they both went round to Aunt Bea’s with a birthday card for her on February 15th. Now that Percy was back home, was he going to take over where his father had left off? Was he out fishing tonight? Lily and Percy might be cousins, but she didn’t know what Percy was doing or thinking every waking moment. The funny thing was that, after asking her all these questions about the family, when she’d told Albert that Aunt Bea had been taken ill and had to get the doctor, he didn’t seem that interested. But if he wasn’t asking about Percy, he was on about Ruby. Why had she left Warnes? Had she got a new job yet? What was she doing at the hospital? On and on he went, so much so that Lily was beginning to wonder if this was an obsession.