Blue Moon (18 page)

He took his stance, all his attention focused on the sights on the gun, then he let out a slow breath and fired. Even with earplugs, the blast jolted me. I could only imagine how loud it must have been for Logan.

Turning my way, the gun still aimed forward, he shouted, “Did you see how I absorbed the recoil in my body? The gun didn’t fly up. You have to be a shock absorber.”

I nodded, carefully taking the Glock from him. “This is heavier than it looks.”

“I’ve got nine rounds in the clip. It definitely weighs it down.” He stood beside me, helping me get the grip right. “Remember to watch out for the slide, it’s going to come back hard and snap forward again. It happens really fast.”

“Okay.” I widened my stance a little, and slid my index finger against the trigger.

Behind me, Logan’s deep voice rumbled. “Don’t forget to breathe. Line up the sights with the target. When you’re ready…”

The blast from the gun drowned him out. The recoil didn’t surprise me as much as the empty shell hitting the side wall of the range and landing in my hair
.
I squeaked and barely kept the barrel pointed down the lane.

“That was loud!”

Logan stepped up beside me again. “I forgot to warn you about the empty casings. Out in the open it wouldn’t hit you, but they ricochet all over the place in these small lanes at the range.”

He pulled the target forward. My first shot hit right in the center of the body silhouette. He smiled and rubbed the small of my back. “Good shot. Ready for more?”

I nodded. He sent the target out ten feet again, I readied myself, raised the barrel, lined up the target in my sights, and pulled the trigger. No squeaking this time, but Logan touched my shoulder. “Wait a sec.”

“What’s wrong?” I glanced up at him.

He pointed to my thumb on my left hand. “Flesh wound.”

“What?” I was surprised to see blood on my knuckle. It wasn’t a bad cut, but it was pretty obvious I’d gotten in the path of the slide on the Glock. “Whoops.”

He nodded, examining the wound. “It’s not bad.” He met my eyes. “Now you’ll have a reminder to fix your grip a little lower. Do you want to keep shooting?”

I nodded and raised the gun again. “Definitely.”

Chapter Twenty-Five

Logan

She was on her second target. Holes covered the heart and head. Most were even where she’d been aiming. Tough not to be proud of her.

But the pride barely overshadowed the bitterness brewing inside of me. If she stayed with me, there would probably come a day when it wasn’t a target that she’d be putting a bullet into. And although I’d tried to explain it to her, there weren’t words for the tempest of emotions that came with taking a life. Everyone handled it differently. And some, like Sebastian, had numbed to the act completely.

Within our Pack, most of us had been forced to take a life at least once, but we didn’t talk about it. Maybe because most of us were men, or maybe because it was too fucking terrifying to stare in the mirror. Sometimes soldiers came home from wars with PTSD, and for the Pack, our battle never ended. It came into our homes.

After my first kill, there was no doubt in my mind that I’d saved my brother’s life. But that knowledge did nothing to silence the nightmares, or the feeling that I would never be able to wash the blood from my hands.

The next day, on my way to meet Anna for lunch, every person I passed reminded me I was alone. They had no idea a killer just darkened their path. My innocence, for lack of a better word, was forever lost.

And I never wanted Anna to have to face those demons.

But every day she spent in my world, the likelihood grew. I couldn’t always be there to protect her. She was right about that.

It was easy enough to teach her to shoot. She was a natural. But there was no way to prepare her for what would come if she ever had to pull the trigger on another person.

I shoved the dark thoughts away and focused on my mate. Her hands trembled, and her aim drifted lower.

“Getting tired?”

She nodded and set the gun on the shelf. Sweat beaded on her brow. “I didn’t realize firing a handgun was so physical.”

God she was beautiful, and stronger than she realized. “Holding a loaded gun with your arms out straight, and absorbing the recoil, takes it out of the best of us.”

“I had better aim than I thought I would.” She rolled up her targets while I cleaned the Glock and put it away. “You’re a great teacher.”

I chuckled. “I don’t know about that, but you finished with only a small scrape, so that’s not too shabby.”

She bent and straightened her bloodied thumb. “It wasn’t like you didn’t warn me.”

I nodded. “You won’t make that mistake again.”

“Thanks for teaching me.” She tapped the roll of targets against my ass and grinned. “I might be a dead-eye yet.”

I laughed and kissed her. “The secret is calming your mind and breathing. If you start anticipating the blast, you lose your focus and your accuracy suffers.”

We were almost to my car before a woman with a cell phone ran up to us. “Logan Reynolds?”

I tugged my baseball cap down a little lower and kept walking.

“Logan?” She was getting closer.

I popped the trunk and put my gun case inside while Anna headed for the passenger door.

When I slammed the trunk, the woman was in my face. “You’re Logan Reynolds! Can I get a picture with you?”

I sighed. “It’s not a good time.”

She kept trying to look in the windows, to see Anna. “You saved all those people in the coffee shop the other night. I’ve been a fan for a long time, but I didn’t know you were good with firearms.”

“I did what anyone else would have done if they heard screaming inside.”

She stopped searching for my mate and looked up at me. “My brother was in that shop. That giant cat could’ve killed him if you hadn’t come in when you did.”

I moved around her toward the driver’s side. “I’m glad he’s all right. I need to get going…”

“A reporter wants to meet him to ask about you and that big cat.”

I froze and turned back. “Do you know when they’re meeting?” She stared at me with stars in her eyes. Damn it. I cleared my throat. “When is his meeting with the reporter?”

She blinked and shook her head. “I could find out.”

I was going to regret this, but I didn’t know what else to do. This was my chance to grab Chandler. I dug out my wallet and slid a business card from the billfold. I handed it to her. “Email me if you get a date.”

She took the card, staring at it like I’d given her a bar of solid gold. “I will.”

“And please don’t share that email, okay? It’s private.”

She nodded, and I groaned inside. I fucking hated changing my email address, but there was a better than average chance this one would be all over the internet soon.

“I won’t let it get out, Logan.” She pressed the card to her chest. “I’ll call my brother and let you know about the meeting.”

I nodded, forcing a smile. “Thank you.”

“Nicole. My name’s Nicole.”

“Thanks, Nicole.” I got in my car to avoid prolonging the awkward conversation.

Anna smiled over at me. “It’s not her fault you’re ridiculously good-looking.”

I laughed, shaking my head as I started the engine. “I think that’s Zoolander.”

“What did she want?”

I backed out, grateful to see Nicole on her way over to her car. “Her brother was in the coffee shop. She said I saved his life.”

“You probably did.”

I shrugged, pulling out of the lot. “I don’t know about that, but she told me a reporter contacted her brother. I asked her to let me know when they’re meeting.”

“You think it’s Chandler. Maybe we’ll be able to talk to him.”

I didn’t think “talking” to him would do much good, but I kept that to myself. “Maybe so. If we get lucky, General Sloan will be here by then.”

“Why is Adam so against getting that guy out here?”

I stayed focused on the road. “General Miller Sloan is Adam’s uncle. His dad’s twin brother.” I glanced her way. “We never met him until after Adam’s father died.”

“So the brothers had a falling out?”

“We assume so.” I gripped the wheel a little tighter. “Malcolm never mentioned his brother, but my dad remembered him. They were both part of the original Operation Moonlight. But when the mission went bad, my dad and the rest of his squad left the military and settled out here. Miller was the only one who stayed.”

She turned in her seat a little. “What’s Operation Moonlight?”

I pulled into my place and shut off the engine. “I’ll tell you everything inside.”

Once we were settled, cold beers in our hands, I told her about my dad’s old Pack, led by an Alpha named Allen Caldwell. Caldwell was friends with Antonio Severino at the very beginning of the Nero Organization. Even back then, Nero gathered top-secret government contracts to train shapeshifter assassins with heightened abilities.

Together, Severino and Caldwell convinced the young wolves they had a chance to serve their country in the U.S. military. They’d be test subjects in Operation Moonlight, and their elite teams would help keep America safe.

“But it didn’t turn out the way they thought it would.” I set my beer on the table. “According to my dad, Severino kept them locked up in cells, like animals. All the drills were performed alone.”

“Why would he lock them up?”

I shrugged a little. “My best guess is that he knew they’d be too strong for him to control if they were together. We draw our strength from the Pack.” How could I explain an intangible connection? I searched for the right words. “Alone, I’m stronger than a human, and my sense of smell and my hearing are keener, but with my Pack, we watch each other’s back. He could probably surprise and overpower one of us alone, but never together.”

Anna squeezed my thigh. “So Adam thinks Miller stayed behind and kept working with Nero?”

“When Operation Moonlight failed, and my dad’s Pack escaped, the government granted them discharges in trade for their silence.” I rested my hand on hers. “My dad could be arrested if any of this ever got out.”

For just a moment, hurt lined her eyes. “I told you I’d keep your secret, Logan, and I meant it.”

I lowered my eyes to our joined hands. “I know that. I just wanted you to know what’s at stake.”

She leaned in to kiss my temple and whispered, “I love you.”

As a teen, I’d gotten used to hearing her say those words to me, but now, after all the years between us, they were more powerful, and I understood what a lucky son of a bitch I was to hear them again.

I cleared my throat. “Almost two years ago, Nero sent a bounty hunter after Sasha. She had escaped Nero, and Severino decided she knew too much. The guy they hired was a werewolf, but he was…” Visions of that sick bastard filled my head. “He was mutated. Apparently after Operation Moonlight failed, Miller stayed involved as a liaison between the government and Nero, and the werewolf experiments continued.”

Her grip on my leg tightened. “Adam’s uncle knew?”

“He claimed he terminated the project when soldiers started dying, but that Nero kept going. Severino altered their DNA so they could shift without the full moon, but it took a toll on their minds and bodies. They died of brain hemorrhages.” I shook my head. “It was bad.”

“And Adam isn’t sure Miller wasn’t in on it.”

“He hopes he wasn’t, but yeah, he’s hesitant to welcome him into the family.”

“I shouldn’t have spouted off to Jason like I did. I didn’t realize—”

“You gave sound advice. It’s probably the only way to let Chandler live and keep him quiet.”

“Let him live?” She frowned. “How many people have you killed?”

A pit opened in my gut. “Please don’t.”

“You said you trust me.”

I lifted my gaze to meet hers. “I just heard you say you love me, and I’m not ready to ruin that.”

“Nothing you tell me will change how I feel about you.”

“Easy to say that now.” I got up and walked to the window. “This isn’t a badge I’m proud of, Anna. I do what I have to for my Pack. I’m always there when they need me. I try not to think about it beyond that.” I glanced back over my shoulder. “I sure as shit don’t keep score.”

Chapter Twenty-Six

Vivianna

It was a quiet ride from Logan’s place in Reno back up to Lake Tahoe. I didn’t know what to say. The shadows in Logan’s eyes made it clear he didn’t enjoy taking a life, but he also made it clear that he had killed, more than once.

And it wasn’t like he was an FBI agent who could go get his demons out with a government psychologist. Logan’s only outlet was his music. No wonder anger and pain ran through so many of his songs. I wanted to help ease his burden, but how?

I gnawed my lower lip as I stared at the forest passing by my window. “I’m sorry about earlier. I had no right to ask you that.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

His voice was deep and cold. It was probably good that I couldn’t see his face.

“I’m excited about the concert.” Not my smoothest change of subject, but it was too late now.

“Me, too.”

I glanced over at him. “Madison is going to come with me.”

“Good.” He kept his eyes on the road.

“And we’ll be able to come backstage afterward?”

“Yep.”

And silence descended again. This time I didn’t try to force it, just accepted it for what it was. Logan loved me, but he wasn’t ready to let me in. Not completely.

But he was worth the wait.

He pulled into the driveway and put the truck in park. “So I’ll see you Saturday night.”

I nodded, wishing suddenly that I’d agreed to move in with him. Not seeing him for a day and a half seemed like an eternity. “I’ll be in the front row, cheering until I’m hoarse.”

That made him smile, and my heart fluttered. He leaned in and kissed my lips, slowly, the caress full of promises I longed to collect on. He rested his forehead against mine, his voice deep and raw. “Sorry if I was a dick earlier.”

I shook my head without losing contact with his skin. “I didn’t mean to hit a sore spot.”

He kissed me once more. “I love you, Anna. See you at the show.”

I floated inside, only to have my bubble burst. Madison sat at the table, her cheeks stained with tears. Frowning, I pulled up a chair beside her and wrapped my arm around her shoulders. “What happened?”

Her sobs broke up her words. “Chandler called me. He…he told me your boyfriend is dangerous. And…” She shook her head and straightened up. “He said he is, too. He’s going to stay away from me.”

“I’m so sorry.” My pulse raced, but unlike the men in my life, Madison wouldn’t be able to hear it. “I should have told you, but I didn’t want to upset you…”

She frowned, hiccupping a little. “Tell me what?”

“Chandler showed up here the other night. He broke the knob on the door. That’s why Logan came up and stayed overnight. I wanted to be sure Chandler didn’t come back.”

Her eyes widened. “Why did you lie to me?”

My chest constricted a little. Lying to my best friend ate me up inside, but the truth wasn’t an option. “He was really upset and very strong. He told me he might turn into a monster, and then he left.”

Her jaw slackened. “Are you saying he was on drugs?”

I shook my head. “I don’t know, but he seemed paranoid, and it scared me enough to call Logan.”

“And you didn’t think that might be important information to share with me?”

I started to understand why Logan kept his distance from people. I’d thought keeping a secret meant not telling people about it, but the truth was it meant lying. A lot. Even to friends.

“I should have told you, but I didn’t want to upset you.” All true. I sighed. “Deep down, I hoped he’d get help.”

Tears spilled down her face again until my own eyes welled up. And if I could’ve turned back time and gone to that coffee shop alone, I would have. We clung to each other and cried until we had no tears left.

Madison finally got up. “I’m going to make some tea. Want some?”

I nodded. “Sounds good.”

While she busied herself with the mundane task, I sent out a prayer to whoever might be listening. If there was any way to bring Chandler back into his sister’s life, I was going to find it.

…

Logan got us front row center seats for the show, a welcome distraction from the Chandler mess. Her brother hadn’t called again, and he wasn’t answering his cell phone or emails. I hated seeing Madison’s heart broken, but for now it was probably better that Chandler kept his distance. If he started telling her about werewolves and jaguar shapeshifters, she might have him committed to a psych ward.

Suddenly Stryker ran out on stage and sat behind his drum set, beating a pulsing rhythm. The crowd erupted. Everyone was on their feet, the decibel level rising with their screams. Madison and I stood, and I watched the wings for Logan.

Levi and Zane were out next. Zane’s guitar joined in with the drums, his bass line walking, and Levi hit a chord on the keyboard. Suddenly the neon came to life behind them—
Logan and the Howlers.

More screams. The anticipation was killing me.

Levi leaned into his mic. “Hey, Stryker? Think our lead singer might show up for this concert?”

The drummer smacked a cymbal and answered. “He better, he promised me a beer after the show.”

The crowd chanted for Logan. Levi goaded them a little more. “You all know this one right? Maybe you can sing it for us.”

They started playing their song “Howling,” and just as the vocal line came in, Logan appeared from the wings, singing into his wireless headset while he played his guitar. The roar of the crowd nearly drowned out his voice at first, as everyone jumped to the beat with their hands up.

“Howling” was up-tempo and angry. And the fans loved it.

I loved it.

I’d been to concerts before, but never in the front row, and I’d never been in love with the lead singer, either. The bass line vibrated in my chest, and watching Logan interact with the crowd had me tied in knots somewhere between proud, jealous, and extremely turned on.

When he got to center stage on the final verse, his eyes met mine, and for just a moment, time stood still. The crowd, the band, the lights, they were all gone. It was just us. The hunger in his eyes, the love, lust, and yearning, had me aching to get the hell out of the audience and make love to him in the wings between songs.

I suddenly understood groupies a little more.

Logan closed his eyes, singing the final chorus.

Make me howl, make me scream,

Things are never what they seem.

Lay me out, end the pain,

Now I’ll never be the same.

Deep inside, there I cry,

Yet you still just pass me by.

Can’t you see, this is me,

And I’m Howling! I’m Howling! I’m Howling!”

It was primal and electric, and for the first time, I really understood the lyrics. I saw Logan’s pain in hiding himself, distancing himself from everyone. He laid it out for the world to see, for them to know they weren’t alone. And somehow, I loved him even more.

He finished the song, taking a bow with his band mates before they wound the audience up again. By the time the show was halfway through the second hour, I was sweating and alive. So alive. Even Madison was smiling and dancing.

Finally, the rest of the Howlers grabbed their towels and jogged off stage. A roadie ran a stool and Logan’s acoustic Gibson out to him. He swapped guitars, but didn’t take his spot on the stool just yet. He strummed a chord and stared into the spotlight.

“Hey, Reno. Good to see you all.”

The fans cheered, and random I-Love-You-Logans broke through as he stepped forward.

“There’s a special lady out here tonight.” He hit the next chord, and the screams started again. His biggest hit, and now I knew…it was about us.

He reached the edge of the stage, right in front of us, and started to sing.

She haunts my dreams.

Shadows of the past.

Ripping my heart down the seams.

No one to blame but me.

I’m a lone wolf now, but I still stare up at the moon,

Call her name and wonder if she’s looking, too…

While the crowd sang, he knelt down
,
holding his hand out to me. For a split second, I almost ran. Madison gave me a hard elbow to the ribs. “Get up there!”

I reached for his hand.

Madness. Madness. Madness.

Wishing won’t change a thing.

He pulled me up like I weighed nothing. The bright white lights heated my skin, and he smiled, joining back into the song.

Tell that to my fucking heart.

Welcome the pain, feel something.

Got to let her go.

Then he changed chords, quieting the crowd. “Hey, friends. Turns out she
was
looking at the moon!”

My ears rang with the cheers. Logan laughed and squeezed my hand. He let me go and strummed the Gibson faster, building to the next verse as he mouthed the words “I love you” to me. My knees were rubber as I backed toward the wings.

I gasped when a hand grabbed my elbow and tugged me into the shadows. Stryker grinned. “You must be Vivianna.”

Laughing, I nodded. “I am.”

“Sorry we didn’t get to meet sooner. Logan plays things pretty close to the vest.”

I shouted over the amps, “Yes, he does. But I’ve listened to all your songs, so I feel like I already know you.”

“Well, now we can make it official. I’m Stryker.” He turned to the other two band members. “And this is Levi and Zane.”

I shook their hands, and Levi grinned. “Those cell phone pics on Facebook don’t do you justice.”

Zane nudged him. “Logan was blocking our view with his lips.”

“True!” Levi chuckled.

Heat rose in my cheeks. “You guys were awesome tonight.”

Stryker stood between the other two with his arms draped over their shoulders. “And we’ve still got two songs left.”

“Should I go back to my seat?”

Levi shook his head. “Nah, stay here. We sent one of our guys to get your friend, so she should be back here soon, too.”

Logan finished the song, and the guys ran onstage, each one kissing my cheek as they passed. I laughed, shaking my head and applauding from the wings. Logan bowed and lifted the guitar strap over his head, jogging toward me. His roadie took the neck from him, and Logan’s arms slid around me, lifting my feet off the ground as our lips met.

I opened my mouth, and his tongue twined with mine as my fingers tightened into fists in the back of his wet hair. He growled. I couldn’t hear it over the music, but it rumbled from his chest into mine. I had never wanted a man naked so desperately in my whole life.

He broke the kiss and hummed against my ear. “After this show, you’re mine. All night. And then some.” His teeth brushed my ear as he added, “I fucking loved having you here tonight.”

He set me down, and it took all I had to stay upright. He adjusted himself in his jeans and chuckled, shaking his head. “You’re mine.”

His ass looked amazing in those jeans as he ran back to center stage and started singing. I wanted to pinch myself because I really was his.

And he was mine.

…

After the show, the celebratory beers were finished, the equipment broken down, and my best friend and Levi seemed to be hitting it off. Madison was rarely the flirty type, but somehow the keyboard player had her giggling and touching his arm like they’d been dating for weeks.

Logan hustled, packing things up, but every time his eyes caught mine, desire smoldered in his gaze, his intention clear, like he’d burned with thirst for days, and I was the only thing that could quench it. I pressed my thighs together tight, trying to soothe the ache.

Finally, he grabbed my hand, tugging me with him into the shadows backstage.

I followed. “What about Madison?”

“Levi said he’d take her home.”

“Where are we going?”

“My dressing room.”

We hurried down a dimly lit staircase and past doors with name tags until we reached Logan’s. He opened the door and his lips met mine. He kicked it closed, the deadbolt clicking into place before he walked me farther into the room. When my butt hit a table, he broke the kiss.

“Turn around.”

I stared into his eyes for a second, before complying with his demand. When I turned, I found myself looking at my reflection in the mirror. The dressing room lights surrounded it like a frame, but with the rest of the lighting off, only the center of the mirror was visible. Just us.

His gaze locked on mine as his hands slid slowly up from my hips. His fingers splayed wide, teasing me as they made their slow journey up my waist while his lips were at my ear. “I want you to see how sexy you are, and how hot you make me.”

His erection rubbed my ass as he cupped my breasts. His strong fingers, which had made magic on the guitar less than two hours ago, now played my body like a master until my back arched, pressing my hips back into his and my breasts into his palms. I reached behind me, dragging my nails up the outsides of his thighs.

He lifted my shirt off over my head and stared at my red satin bra, his teeth brushing my ear. “You drive me crazy. I want to take this slow and savor you all night, but damn.” He slid his hands inside my bra, teasing my nipples. “It’s all I can do not to strip you naked and fuck you right now.”