Blue Notes (32 page)

Smiling the wobbliest smile in the history of smiles, I take his hand. I kiss his knuckles in that endearing way he’s always done to me. “I’m Keeley Chambers. I had a shitty time growing up. But now I have friends and true parents who adore me. And I screwed up by pushing away an amazing man—one who made me realize I’m worth loving.”

“Come here, Keeley.”

I do just that. He holds on tight, saying my name over and over. I love the sound of it.
My
man saying
my
name as if I’m the answer to his prayers. His heart is pounding almost as fast as mine. My eyes go dizzy with black spots.

Only when he whispers against my ear do I find the presence of mind to wake the hell up and enjoy the moment. “You were astonishing, sugar.”

I’m so amped. I touch his mouth, then his high, sculpted cheekbones. “That’s one of the best things I’ve ever heard.”

“Is this enough now?” He pulls back. Lines of tension bracket the lips I long to kiss. “I’m glad you got through what you needed to. But I . . .” His eyes are stormy and full of need—the sort of need I wouldn’t have been brave enough to handle a few months ago. “I can’t do this halfway anymore. I want forever too. If we’re going to be together, you’re stuck with me. Just like Adelaide is. We lost our parents so suddenly that, yeah, I tend to keep a pretty close hold on what I consider mine. I won’t ever regret that, or my life, or loving you. If you’re with me, you’re with me.”

“That sounds even better,” I say, happily keeping my shit together. “I’m not perfect, you know.”

“Of course you’re not.” He brushes his fingers along the bare length of my throat. “But it’s not because of your parents, or because you blew off people who care for you. I was hard on you because I haven’t felt that kind of hurt in a really long time. It caught me by surprise, like a bruise from a punch I suffered years ago. I took it out on you.” His smile is a more manly version of my wobbly one. “We’re not perfect because we’re people. It’s a fine line, I think—being in love. There’s the risk of idolizing an ordinary person, just because she rings every bell and knocks me over with the force of a hurricane.”

“That’s me?”

“Yes. I thought you were naïve and needed protecting. I thought you ungrateful, especially when you talked about how you’d wondered what it would be like to be rescued. I wanted to be that person. It was easier to get defensive than to give you time.” He exhales heavily, his brow tight. “After all that’s happened in my life, I feel too old to play games. But until a few days ago, I thought I was too young to say
I love you
and mean it.”

I cup his hands in my face, then lift on tiptoes to softly brush my lips against his. He sweeps me into his arms and turns the kiss into a firestorm. I think briefly of Janey and Addie getting on me for ruining my makeup, but I don’t care. I kiss him with all my heart.

“I was too lost to hear you.”

“You play your music
really
loud,” he says, with a kiss beneath my jaw. “It’s making you go deaf. But you hear me now? Do you hear how much I need you in my life?”

“I hear you. And I mean it right back. I love you, Jude. So much.”

His eyes sparkle. “It was the promise of really good sex, wasn’t it? That’s what did it.”

I give him a wry smile. “Long before that.”

He kisses me so softly. “I know you were playing for yourself, and that the whole audience heard you, but I sat on the edge of my seat. I heard our whole time together, the rocky and the wonderful. I thought you were playing just for me.” He grins and gives me a secret pinch to my backside. “I already thought you wore this dress just for me.”

I let out a relieved burst of laughter. “It was all in there, Jude. In every note, back to when you first dared me. How could I write about anything other than how obsessed I am with you?”

“Obsessed?” he asks, his eyebrows lifted, teasing me.

“Totally.”

“I like having that effect on women, sugar.”

“Women?”

“Just one,” he whispers against my cheek. “Just you.”

An invisible weight—the weight of so much worry and sorrow—is gone. It hasn’t vanished so much as become a part of me, rather than something to hold me down. “It’s
us
now, right? Us together.”

“I promise.”

I fight off tears, even as I bubble and smile. “I’ve always liked your promises.” Jude kisses my forehead, my nose, then settles on my lips. I’ve never felt more heat, more pure joy. I wrap my arms around him, taking all he’ll give me, giving back all I am. That’s the best I can do, right? Keep holding on, living for love and air and magic and the most beautiful, beautiful music.

 Acknowledgments 

I offer many, many thanks to my usual suspects, who help me just keep swimming. Love and adoration to my darling Keven, Juliette and Ilsa, my dearest Cathleen, my youthful partner in crime, Casey, and my original, unflagging cheerleaders, Dennis and Kathy Stone. I also want to express gratitude and respect to Lauren McKenna, Alexandra Lewis, Elana Cohen, and my fantastic agent, Kevan Lyon. I could not do this without all of you.

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This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Copyright © 2014 by Carrie Lofty

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First Gallery Books trade paperback edition May 2014

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Interior design by Jaime Putorti

Cover photograph by Clayton Austin

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Lofty, Carrie, 1976–

Blue notes : by Carrie Lofty.—First Gallery Books trade paperback edition.

pages cm

1. Women pianists—Fiction. 2. Billionaires—Fiction. 3. Friendship—Fiction. 4. Psychological fiction. I. Title.

PS3603.05475B58 2014

813’.6—dc23

2013046835

ISBN 978-1-4767-0689-4

ISBN 978-1-4767-0691-7 (ebook)