Blue Twilight (11 page)

Chapter 23

Lisa’s mom had been overjoyed to hear the news. But when she started asking about colors and flowers, Lisa had had to put her foot down. They were not planning anything yet. She even insisted on keeping their engagement a secret from everyone else. Jake didn’t need anything else to worry about when they were so close to the album launch. He tried to tell her it didn’t matter, but she could see the relief in his eyes.

By the time she got to work Monday morning, the excitement still hadn’t worn off, and her stomach was doing nervous flips as she tried to keep a neutral expression. But if anyone could sniff out a secret, it was Debra.

“Hey!” Debra greeted as she let Lisa in. “How was your trip? Did you have a good time?”

“It was great,” Lisa said with, what she could only assume, was a goofy grin. Trying to school her facial features, she reached for an apron and got to work.

A half hour later, she pressed a hand to her stomach which was still doing flips.
Jeez, trying to keep a secret is hard.
Trying to distract herself, she hummed a tune while she poured some flour into the mixer. When she realized she was humming one of Jake’s songs, she giggled quietly.

“Alright, that’s it,” said Debra coming from behind and grabbing the flour out of her hands. “Something’s up. Spill it, missy!”

Biting her lip, she considered her options. She was pretty sure Jake wouldn’t be mad if she told Debra. But then the little angel on her shoulder whispered in her ear.

It was your idea to keep it a secret in the first place…

Groaning, she said, “I promised I wouldn’t say anything…”

“Oh, now you have to tell me!” Debra cried, practically drooling over the gossip.

After debating it again, Lisa said, “Well, I’m sure he won’t be angry…you’re practically family…”

“What’s going on?”

Oh, what the hell.
“We’re engaged!” she said excitedly. And without taking a breath, she continued, “I know, I know, it’s crazy, right? But we just love each other so much…” Trailing off, she realized she was waiting on a hug, congratulations,
something
from her friend. “Deb? Aren’t you going to say anything?”

Lisa had come to think of Debra as one of her closest friends, and her pointed silence on the subject hurt more than she cared to admit. But before Debra could respond, a sudden sense of vertigo hit Lisa, and she swayed. Reaching out, she grabbed onto the counter and felt her stomach protest.

“Are you okay?” asked Deb, reaching for her.

“No!” she cried throwing her hand over her mouth and racing for the bathroom.

She spent the next few minutes emptying her stomach of what felt like everything she’d eaten in the past five years. “Oh, God,” she moaned as she leaned against the sink. Staring at her reflection, she saw how pale she appeared. After splashing some water on her face and rinsing her mouth, she stepped out to find Debra.

She was waiting for Lisa right outside the bathroom with a bottled water. “Lisa, are you okay? Are you sick?”

Grabbing the water, she unscrewed the cap and took a small sip. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Stuff is going around,” Debra said and then paused. “Listen, I’m sorry about before. I was just surprised. Of course I’m happy for you.” She started to give her a hug, but then thought better of it. “Why don’t you head on home? I can handle things this morning.”

Lisa was in no mood to argue as she untied her apron with unsteady hands. “Thanks, Deb. I’m sorry, I’ve felt like a slug for a few weeks now…”

The way she said it made her think about something…something that had been missing. Whimpering slightly, she started counting backwards in her head.
Oh shit.
Sliding to the floor, she shook her head. It had to be a mistake.

“Lisa!” Debra cried as she tried to pick her up off the floor. “What is it?”

“I don’t think I’ve got the flu,” Lisa whispered.

Something in her expression must have tipped Debra off because she jumped up and grabbed the phone. She spoke hurriedly into the receiver before hanging up and untying her apron.

“Come on,” she said coming back over and helping Lisa up. “Let’s go.”

“Where are we going?” Lisa asked weakly.

“For a drive.”

“What about the bakery?”

“Hank’s on his way. Let’s go.”

Once they got in the car, Lisa let her thoughts consume her. She was on the pill, so she couldn’t be pregnant, right?
It had to be the flu
, she told herself. Of course that was it. She was just late because of all the stress she’d been under—even though she’d never been late a single day in her life. She was so lost in her thoughts it took her a while to realize that they’d left the city limits.

“Where are we going?”

“Well, we can’t very well buy you a pregnancy test at the drugstore in town. Everybody would know within minutes,” explained Deb. “We’re just going a few miles down the road.”

A few miles turned into forty down the interstate. They found a 24-hour Walmart and pulled in. Debra led Lisa to the proper aisle, and she spent five minutes just staring at the boxes.

“I can’t do this,” Lisa said and started to shake.

Debra grabbed a box off the shelf and placed it in Lisa’s hands. “Yes, you can. Come on, let’s go pay, and then you can go take it.”

“Here?” she squeaked.

“Would you rather wait until you got home and explain to Jake?”

Feeling like she would faint, Lisa whispered, “Let’s go.”

A few minutes later, Lisa found herself locked into a stall staring at the box. “What the hell am I going to do?”

“You pee on the stick,” Debra replied from the other side of the door.

If she didn’t currently feel like crying and throwing up simultaneously, she could have laughed. “That was a rhetorical question…”

“Oh, sorry, sorry,” said Debra as Lisa heard her continue to pace. “I’m shutting up now.”

With shaking hands, she opened the box. Seemed simple enough. She could do this. Sniffling a few seconds later, she realized she really
couldn’t
do this.

Debra’s anxious voice called from the other side of the door. “Lisa? Honey, are you crying? What’s wrong?”

“I can’t pee,” she wailed from inside the stall.
Of all the stupid problems to have…

She heard the sound of running water before Deb said, “There, I’ve turned on all the faucets. See if that helps.”

After another anxiety filled minute, she realized with surprise it did help. Setting the test on the floor, she finished up and stared at her watch for the two minutes she was supposed to wait. When the time was up, she picked up the test. Shutting her eyes, she counted in her head.
3, 2, 1…
Two lines. Praying she was wrong, she grabbed the instructions once more. And there, in black and white, was the answer she was dreading. She was pregnant.

Opening the stall, she stepped out and held up the test for Debra to see. “It’s positive,” she confirmed. “I’m pregnant.” She barely registered Deb’s cry of alarm as she slid to the floor and everything went blessedly dark.

“There now…come on back to me, sugar.” Lisa fought to open her eyes at Debra’s insistence. Once she was able, Deb sat her up against the wall. When she was sure Lisa wasn’t going to fall over again, she left her to grab a wet paper towel. Pressing it against her friend’s forehead, Deb let out a shaky breath. “You scared the life out of me,” she confessed.

“Sorry,” Lisa murmured. “Was I out long?”

“No, just a minute or so. Are you okay?”

With a watery laugh, she shook her head. “No. What in the hell am I going to do?”

Debra helped her off the floor and patted her hand. “Come on, let’s go sit down somewhere more comfortable and talk.” After leading her to the small snack area, she sat Lisa down at a table before disappearing for a few minutes. When she came back, she set a steaming cup down in front of her. “Drink,” she insisted.

Taking a small sip, Lisa grimaced before pushing the cup away. “Ugh! God, what is that?”

Smiling, Debra took a sip of her own drink before commenting. “It’s green tea. I didn’t think coffee was a good idea, considering…” She trailed off as her smile faded.

That’s right. She wasn’t supposed to drink caffeine while she was… Lisa placed her head on the table, she couldn’t even bring herself to think the word. “What am I going to do?” she asked again.

“What do you want to do?” countered Debra.

“That’s not helping,” Lisa shot back.

Pregnant. How could she be pregnant? Well, she
knew how
, but still. This wasn’t supposed to happen, not now. She liked kids, but couldn’t wrap her mind around the thought of having one of her own. And what about Jake? Did he want kids? He always spoke of his nieces and nephew with affection, but that didn’t necessarily mean he wanted a child of his own. And with the album launching soon, this was the last thing he needed.

Debra reached out and grasped Lisa’s hand. “Honey, this is not a decision that I, or anyone else for that matter, can make for you. You have to do what you think is best. But I will tell you that I am here for you no matter what you decide.”

Raising her head, Lisa felt her lip tremble as she voiced her fears. “Is he going to hate me, Deb?”

“I don’t see how he ever could. I’ve seen him with you, and he’s never been happier. He loves you, sugar. And you’re so good for him.”

Lisa let that sink in. He loved her, she was sure of that now, more than ever. She just hoped he still would after she told him.
Oh, God
.

“How am I ever going to tell him?”

“You’ll know when the time is right,” Debra said.

Lisa wasn’t sure she’d ever be ready for that conversation.

After finishing her tea, Debra stood and led them back to her car.

On the drive home, Jake sent Lisa a text message.

Thinking about you. Can’t wait to see you later, angel.

She couldn’t stop the tears from falling. All she could do was pray he still felt the same once she told him. Debra dropped her off at home, and Lisa gave a small wave as she let herself inside before climbing the stairs to her room. Collapsing on the bed, she let her exhaustion take her under.

When she woke three hours later, she was no closer to figuring things out, but she couldn’t ignore it forever. Taking a deep breath, she went downstairs and found the phone book in the hallway. After locating the number she needed, she picked up the phone. She had to dial the number four times before her shaky fingers finally got it right.

After ringing twice, the call was finally answered. “Doctor Davis’ office, how may I help you?”

Chapter 24

Once her appointment was set, Lisa felt more settled. Weighing her options, she decided against telling Jake for now. Of course she would tell him, but he needed to concentrate on the album now, and she refused to cause him any more stress. Thinking about it some more, she decided she’d tell him while they were in Maryland in a couple weeks. She was still concerned about how he’d react, but he had asked her to marry him. Surely he thought kids would be in their future…just probably not their immediate future. Frowning, she pushed the thought aside. Hearing her doorbell, she did her best to push everything down and put on a normal face so Jake wouldn’t suspect anything was wrong.

The next two weeks flew by as Lisa struggled to keep her pregnancy a secret, prepare for her mother’s wedding, and continue to help work on
Blue Twilight
. Jake even surprised her by presenting her with a gorgeous, two carat, princess-cut diamond ring. She’d cried for a good ten minutes after he’d slipped it on her finger. Her hormones were completely out of control, but Jake barely noticed as he was too caught up in the album.

Checking her watch one last time, she hustled across the street and climbed the steps into Dr. Davis’ office.

After signing in, she filled out a mountain of paperwork. Soon after, she was shown back into one of the exam rooms and given a paper gown to change into. Swinging her feet nervously, she waited on the doctor. Her thoughts were ranging anywhere from being told she was having triplets to wishing Jake were here with her. She was on the verge of hyperventilating by the time there was a knock on the door.

“Miss James? I’m Doctor Davis.” After the doctor stuck his hand out, Lisa shook it limply. “So, what brings you in today?” he asked as he flipped through her chart and shut the door behind him.

Staring at the closed door, she still worried. “Umm…well…this is all confidential, right?”

“Of course,” Dr. Davis assured her. “I take my patients’ privacy very seriously.”

“Okay, well, umm…I think I might be pregnant.” There. She’d said it.

Dr. Davis proceeded to ask her numerous questions. He nodded and scribbled notes as he went along before handing her a small plastic cup and pointing her in the direction of the bathroom across the hall. When Lisa returned, he sent the sample with one of the nurses and then called in another nurse to draw blood.

Lisa was allowed to re-dress and after what felt like an eternity, Dr. Davis reentered the room with her chart and a wide smile. “Congratulations, Mom.”

She felt like she would faint…or throw up…probably both. Pressing a hand to her stomach, she tried to quell the nausea that was rapidly rising.

“Are you alright?” he asked her. After she gave him a feeble thumbs up, he flipped through her chart again. “I’ve got an idea of how far along you are, but a sonogram should confirm it. Go ahead and lie back for me.” After wheeling a small machine over to the table, he lifted her shirt and smeared green goop all over Lisa’s stomach.

Gasping at the cold, she flinched and grasped the table a little harder.

“Sorry about that,” Dr. Davis said with an apologetic smile. After flipping the machine on, he pressed a long wand against her. “Now, let’s see if we can say hello to your baby.”

Worrying again over how Jake would react to the news, Lisa squeezed her eyes shut. What if he hated her? What if…her thoughts trailed off as a rapid thumping noise filled the room. Her eyes flew open.
What was that?

After stilling the wand, Dr. Davis smiled once more. “Ah, there we go. There he, or she, is. And what a strong heartbeat.”

Heartbeat. That was her baby’s heartbeat she was hearing. A tear escaped before she realized she was crying. Finally glancing at the monitor, she squinted, trying to make sense of what she was seeing. All she could really see was an odd, peanut-shaped object.

When she explained this to Dr. Davis, he’d laughed. “That peanut,” he explained, “is your baby. And from this, I’d say I was correct. You’re about ten weeks along. Congratulations.” He pressed a button, and the image froze on the screen.

“Thanks,” Lisa breathed as she continued to stare at her peanut.

Handing her a towel, Dr. Davis patted her hand. “Use that to wipe the gel off. I’ll just give you a minute while I write up prescriptions for prenatal vitamins.”

The tears flowed steadily now. Pressing a hand to the screen, she whispered, “Hi, baby.”

And just like that all of her fears, and all of the doubts she’d had, became insignificant. Nothing but her little peanut mattered. And after seeing him or her, she knew Jake would love their baby just as much as she already did. Sniffling, she reluctantly took her hand off the screen and removed the gel from her stomach. After she was clean, she ran a gentle hand over her abdomen. It was hard to believe her little peanut was in there.

She greeted Dr. Davis with a smile when he returned with her prescriptions. After giving her some last minute instructions, he pressed a button on the sonogram machine. A slip of paper printed out of the side.

“Here’s a picture of your peanut,” he said handing it to her with a smile.

Lisa stopped by the front desk and made a follow up appointment, giddy with the thought that Jake would be with her next time. Giving the receptionist a wave, she stepped outside. Staring at the grainy picture in the early afternoon sun, she realized she was holding the most precious thing in the world. She pressed a hand to her stomach once more and grinned before tucking the picture away in her purse. Lisa turned to head toward the bakery, but paused. She frowned as the feeling of being watched overcame her. Quickly glancing behind her, she gave a nervous laugh when she found no one there.