Blurred (11 page)

He points to me. “You, you did this to me! You took my family from me, you took everything from me!”

Looking around I see an old man and a young, rail-thin woman with long dark hair quietly begging him to be silent. But their pleas go unheard as two armed court officers grab him and drag him out of the room.

But his last words ring in my ears even after he’s left the room, and a shiver rides down my spine.

“You’ll get yours! An eye for eye. Don’t forget it,” he spat at me.

Horror had paralyzed me as I watched him being escorted kicking and screaming out of the courtroom, thankful he was being put away. Jason must have passed by me without my noticing. I flee the courtroom and spot him in the hall.

“Jason, hold up!” I yell, but he keeps moving and disappears into a door marked
PRIVATE
.

“Fuck, what is going on?”

As I exit the building I call Caleb. I get his fucking voice mail again. “Call me. I want to know where you found Josh Hart!”

Leave the Lights On

The sky has begun to cloud over as I maneuver through the stop and go traffic on Melrose. Cars are parked haphazardly lining the street and I squeeze into a space between an SUV and an Escort. I already decided going back to work was not happening. One turn of the key and the roar of my engine ceases; I stand here with the heavy metal between my legs. I don’t want to go back to that shithole of a room right now. Fuck, I have nowhere else to go. I hop off and just start walking. I stop in at Four & Twenty Blackbirds, but Ruby isn’t working today. I head to Beck’s but he’s not behind the bar. The bartender’s face flashes recognition as I walk up to her.

“Hey. Is Beck around?”

“No, he took a few days off. He told me that if you stopped by to tell you he’d be in touch.”

“That’s mysterious. What’s going on?”

She shrugs. “No idea. Just passing on the message. You drinking?”

“No, not this early. I was just looking for Beck. I’ll see you around.”

I go outside to get some air and clear my head. While I’m walking aimlessly down the crowded street, my cell rings. I pull it from my pocket. Fuck, it’s not Caleb. It’s Bass. “Yeah,” I answer, anything but thrilled that she’s calling me so soon after I left her office.

“I looked into Jason Holt. He’s not involved in the case but when I crossed his name with Josh Hart’s I found that Hart was one of his informants years ago. Did you know that?”

My head spins. Has Jason been involved the whole time? “No, I didn’t. But thanks for letting me know.”

I leave another message for Caleb. Fuck, I need someone to talk to. I want to call my sister but she took Trent to Hawaii a few days ago. Having no place else to go, I end up outside of S’belle’s place.

I smile when I see her car parked out front—maybe my luck is finally changing. At the metal gate that leads into the courtyard, I debate ringing the bell but I don’t have to hesitate for long. She emerges with that dick of a boss following her. She’s carrying a basket of flowers and he holds the gate open for her. They look pretty cozy. I guess there was more going on between them—just not what I thought it was.

Turning on my heels I head back to Beck’s. The walk feels so much longer than I remember it being on my way here. When I finally open the door, I’m ready for a drink.

“Haven’t seen you a while,” the bartender jokes. “Decided to come back for an early one after all?”

“Something like that. I’ll have a scotch. No ice.”

She looks thoughtful for a moment. “Sure, Ben, no problem.”

I see something different in her eyes and wonder if it’s pity.

“Join me?”

She leans forward setting two glasses in front of me. “These are on me. Shhh, don’t tell the boss.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” I slam mine back as soon as the bottle clears the glass. I set it down. “Thank you.”

She refills the glass and we do this move two more times.

She eyes me. “Rough day, I take it.”

“Something like that,” I say again. I’m not in the mood for chitchat and she catches on right away because she sets the bottle next me and leaves me alone.

After an hour passes, I’m ready to talk. The joint is dead, so I call her over. She winds around the bar and has a seat next to me and I spill it all. With whisky-numbed lips, I just can’t seem to shut up. I tell her about the courtroom and the danger to Dahl and how relieved I am the guy got put away. How there’s a girl I want nothing more than to be with but that I blew it. She listens, but never says anything. When a few customers enter the bar, she gets back to work. I sit there with my hands on my head just thinking about how the fuck I got to this place. It’s the same question I’ve asked a thousand times.

My phone rings and again I think it must be Caleb. I slide it out of my front pocket. The screen flashes Kimberly. Fuck me! A name I wasn’t expecting . . . my girlfriend from New York City, or maybe I should say my ex-girlfriend.

“Hey, gorgeous.”

“Hey, Alex. Or should I say Ben?”

“Fuck, that’s harsh. I called you a few times. You never called me back.”

Her voice lowers but takes on a serious tone. “Yes, you did. Drunk every time.”

“You sound drunk yourself right now.”

“Well, I just might be. I wasn’t ready to talk to you then.”

“And you are now?”

“As a matter of fact I am.” Her words sound even more slurred than mine.

Silence occupies the line for a few moments too long, but I can hear her breathing. “I’ve been in LA for a while.”

“How long is a while?”

“I actually got a job here.”

“That’s fucking fantastic news. What are you doing?”

“Managing
Sound Music Magazine
.”

I turn around on the stool and almost fall off. “Aerie Daniels’s job?”

“No, I work with her. I moved here in January to prep the new launch. I’ll be managing the entertainment news side. We publish our first edition this summer.”

“So why are you just getting around to calling me?”

“Shitty day. Was looking for someone to have a drink with me and your name popped into my mind.”

“Where are you staying?” I ask in a low whisper.

“I’m in Marina Del Ray at the Palazzo Apt 310.”

I clear my throat. “Can I come over?”

“Yes.” Her voice sounds familiar and wanting.

“I’ll be there soon.”

I head back to where I parked. The night air assaults me as I mount my bike and I feel instantly sobered. I eye the traffic ahead. Red taillights glow for miles. I turn onto Fairfax a little too sharply and almost lose my balance. Maybe I shouldn’t be driving? I keep the speed low throughout the short ten-mile ride making the ride easy and manageable. When I come to a screeching halt at a light, I think about Kimberly—how I felt about her. I really did have feelings for her, but I lost sight of them when I thought I’d have Dahl again. Yeah, it was shitty of me.

A sudden twinge of guilt floods me for all the women I’ve been with since I’ve seen her last. I swallow it down and try not to think about it as I enter the elevator of her swanky Mediterranean-style apartment building. But when I knock on the door the guilt returns. The moment she opens it, I forget about everything. She looks fucking beautiful. A slinky dress, no shoes, hair down—gorgeous.

I grin at her as I lean against the door.

She stares at me for a long while with a blank expression on her face and a glass of Sangria in her hand. I bow my head, wondering if she’s going to invite me in.

“Hi,” she says very softly.

My eyes snap to hers. “Hi, yourself. You look amazing.”

I take her hand and kiss it and her smile widens.

“Are you going to stand out there all night or do you want to come in?” she asks.

“I was just waiting to make sure I was welcome.”

She moves to the side and I figure out she’s not wearing a dress, but a silky nightgown. Her tits protrude against the tight fabric and I’m instantly aroused. I step in and when she crosses in front of me to close the door, I lean down and kiss her cheek. When I do I smell the lemon slice wedged on the side of her glass. She doesn’t pull away, so I slide my mouth to hers and lock our lips together. I taste the sweet flavor of sangria on her lips and I pull her closer to me. A sudden surge to devour her overtakes me. She feels so soft and tastes so good.

Lifting my head, I glance around. We’re standing in her living room and a large purple sofa is only a few feet away. Soft music and candles surround us as the feeling of seduction fills the air. With my hands on her hips, I walk her backward and her free hand tangles in my hair. We reach the sitting area, and with my eyes locked on hers, I can tell her pupils are dilated. I look around and see a bottle of wine, a plate of oranges and lemons, and a clear glass pitcher with a small amount of red liquid left inside it.

“Are you sure I should be here?”

“Yes.”

I grin at her and she smiles back. She circles her fingers around the rim of her glass and picks up the lemon wedge. She sucks on it and drops it inside. My dick throbs at the sight. I take the glass from her and set it down on the table. She watches me with labored breaths—her stare capturing mine. As I straighten, I notice her lips part and, unable to hold back, I seize her mouth so that I can taste her sweetness, practically wanting to devour her.

When I flop us down on the sofa she breaks free of my lips.

“You’ve been drinking,” she remarks, pulling away. But her tone is anything but accusatory.

“So have you.” I point to the bar.

She smirks. “I have. Do you want one?”

“No, I’ll just taste it from your lips,” I answer, and let my mouth find the sweet spots down her neck I remember she always liked me to kiss.

“I’m in a really bad place right now,” she breathes.

“That makes two of us.”

She dips her head back. “Then maybe we can help each other out.”

“Ummmhmm . . .”

“I know about everything that happened to you. Why didn’t you ever tell me about it?”

Her words are mumbled as we grope each other, but I understand them. I pull away and lift her drink from the table for a sip. But when the lemon hits my lips I hand it back to her. “Finish it.”

She downs the rest of the liquid and then stands. She tips her chin toward the bar and moves that way. Watching her, I can see through the thinness of the fabric covering her body that she’s naked underneath. A sparkling black counter separates the kitchen from the living room. Her apartment is entirely her—upscale and modern. Oak cabinets, granite counters, stainless steel appliances, and a fireplace now blazing with flames. I suspect there is even a private terrace but the blinds are closed and I can’t tell for sure.

“You live here alone?”

“No, with my sister. She moved to LA with me.”

I nod. “Is she here?”

“No, it’s just the two of us.”

“Make us both a drink and show me your bedroom.”

Her gaze takes me in and her eyes stop at the tent forming in my pants. The corners of her mouth tip up. “My, aren’t you bossy.”

She comes back into the living room and turns to make us both a drink. I move closer to her so I can swipe her hair to the side and kiss her neck. I breathe in deeply, smelling the lemon she’s squeezing into the sangria. When she rounds the glass with it, my teeth tug at the thin strap on her shoulder. “Take this off.”

Her breath catches as she sets the wine bottle down. She twists in my arms and does as instructed. I step back so I can watch her as she slips her negligee down her shoulder and lets it fall to the ground. She stands naked before me, and when she turns to hand me my drink, I cup her ass. We both gulp our drinks in silence until the desire for her overwhelms me. Setting my glass down, I take hers. She licks her lips and I can see the pulse in her neck throbbing. “Forget the bedroom.”

I slam my mouth to hers, then slide them down to her breast and suck on one of her nipples. She moans and her hands go to the fly of my pants. She unzips them. “Maybe we should talk first,” she moans.

But her hands are already stroking me—we’re way past the time for talking. I try to focus, but I’m seeing two of her and I don’t want to discuss anything right now. “Talk is for later, gorgeous.”

Her hands continue their magic and mine roam her body. My fingers travel down over her hips and to her clean-shaven pussy. I always loved that about her. I stroke my thumb back and forth over her clit and she purrs. I insert one finger inside her to find that she’s already soaking wet. A moan escapes her lips and I know she’s ready. I dip my head to kiss her and the smell of the lemon intoxicates me. In that moment the dynamics between us shift.

“Turn around,” I order through gritted teeth.

She turns and braces her palms on the counter and I reach into my pocket for my wallet and pull out a condom. I roll it on quickly and just as hastily push into her. I watch myself in the reflection of the microwave door as I slam in and out. Blonde hair turns into red and I lose myself back in time in a moment—in a fantasy come alive that I’ve never been able to forget.

She moans out in pleasure and I come fast and hard, not waiting for her. I crave the release and I can’t hold on. And the words slip out without intention. “Fuck, S’belle, you feel so good.” An instant later she’s pushed away from me. I look at her and she has tears in her eyes. “Kimberly, I’m sorry. I don’t know why I said that.”

She turns around, grabs her nightgown, and heads out of the room. She stops at the doorway leading to a hallway and looks at me. “I don’t know who S’belle is, but just so you know I was thinking about someone else too while you were fucking me. I just didn’t call you by his name.”

“I’m so sorry.”

Her hand swipes the room. “This wasn’t set up for you. So don’t worry about it.”

I ignore her jab and zip my pants up. The pain that never stays away for long comes rushing back worse than ever. Guilt assaults me. It was wrong of me to say someone else’s name with her. I respect this girl too much to be such a prick to her. It’s just everything that happened today has me all fucked up.

I follow the hallway and see a light on under a door. I knock lightly. “Kimberly, I’m sorry.”

With a small sobbing voice she says, “I go by Kay now. Kimberly is long gone.”

I rub my hands over my face and try to figure out what to say to make this better. Nothing sounds right in my head so I do what she asks and leave, knowing this is just another relationship I have managed to fuck up.