Bodychecking (8 page)

He wasn’t disappointed and gritted his teeth as he gazed at the once gleaming granite counters. Brightly colored makeup containers, lotions, and mounds of towels occupied every available inch of counter space.

God help him. He hoped she cooked better than she kept house.

A few minutes later and one bite into the pot roast, he realized she didn’t.

* * * *

Bella stared at herself in the mirror. The maid-of-honor dress showed too much cleavage, and she tried to adjust it with little success. People shouldn’t be staring at her tits instead of staring at the bride.

Izzy getting married was a big deal, and Bella would do her part to make sure it was the wedding of all weddings. She’d been doing so before the incident, and she’d do so tonight.

Bella called the attack an incident, as if the generic term would minimize what happened. Only it didn’t. Not like she’d hoped. For the past few days as the sisters hammered out the final details, she endured the puzzled glances shared between them when they thought she wasn’t looking. Obviously they were wondering what the hell was wrong and what had happened to their life-of-the-party sister. Bella wanted to tell them, but she wouldn’t ruin Izzy’s wedding. She’d put her sister first like Izzy had done most of her life for Bella and her sisters.

A knock on the bathroom door diverted her attention. She glanced in the mirror to see Cedric push the door open. He regarded her with a mixture of impatience and worry, his blue eyes troubled.

“Are you ready yet?” He tugged on his bowtie in obvious discomfort.

Bella fretted with her hair in the mirror. She put on her favorite deep-red lipstick, decided against it, and wiped it off. She opted instead for a pink shade called cotton candy. It must’ve belonged to Emma as she’d never owned a shade that tame.

“You look great.” Cedric stood behind her and rubbed her shoulders with his big hands. His large body filled the small room, and heat radiated from him, causing Bella to fan herself. In the past, she’d have jumped his bones for a quickie. Today, she slipped out of reach. He frowned and released a long-suffering sigh, which had become all too common lately. Of course, he wanted her. Cedric had a healthy sex drive rivalled only by Bella’s until recently.

“What did you do to that dress?” He stared directly at her cleavage or lack of.

“It was a little too low so I pinned up it.”

One blond eyebrow shot into his hairline. “Bells, you can’t see the scar,” he said softly in a voice that almost undid her. He ran a hand up and down her arm. She fought back the tears, berating herself for being so ridiculously emotional over nothing.

“I know.” She swallowed hard, pissed she was tearing up. She’d ruin her makeup.

“Honey, the attack wasn’t your fault. It’s okay to show a little cleavage. It’s okay to be a woman proud of her body. You have an incredible body. Why not show it off?”

“Please, this is hard enough.” She held up her hands to fend him off as he stepped toward her.

He stopped, frowned, and scratched his head. “I’m sorry. I’m fumbling through this, but I’ll be with you every step of the way if that’s what you want.”

“That’s what I want.” She despised the neediness in her voice, yet there it was. Turning, she shoved a few things in her bag, grabbed her coat, and accepted Cedric’s arm, ignoring his searching gaze. She clung to him as they rode the elevator to the parking garage. Bella jumped at every noise—real and imagined—as they made their way across the dimly lit space to his sports car.

He helped her into the passenger seat and hurried to the driver’s side. As soon as he sat down, she flipped the door locks.

“Bella, have you been out of the condo by yourself since…since it happened?”

She swallowed and shook her head, holding her hands in her lap so he couldn’t see them tremble.

“You haven’t.” His voice was barely a whisper. He reached for her cold hands and held them. “Oh, baby, I’ve got you. You’re safe with me.”

“I know,” she croaked. Despite how unreasonable her behavior was, she couldn’t shake off her fear, but she fucking would not ruin Izzy’s night. She’d be the strong Bella she’d always been and get through this somehow with Cedric’s help.

A half hour later they arrived at the wedding venue; Cedric handed his keys to the valet and offered his arm to Bella. She gratefully accepted and grabbed his arm in a death grip. Pasting a fake smile on her lips, she straightened her shoulders and walked beside her man to the front door.

“I promise I’ll catch you if you fall.”

She touched her lips to his cheek. “I know you will.”

She meant those words. She trusted Cedric, and Bella didn’t trust many people.

Cedric winked at Bella and tossed her his best playful grin, trying to loosen her up. She smiled stiffly in response and gripped his arm tighter as they stood outside the ballroom doors of Ethan Parker’s waterfront mansion, waiting for their turn. The rest of the wedding party had already taken their places, leaving them and the bride.

“I’ve got you,” he whispered, patting her hand on his arm. She dug her fingernails into his tux jacket—any deeper and she’d be drawing blood. He felt horribly inadequate and clueless as to what to do to help her.

“I know.”

“You’re beautiful.” He spoke with absolute sincerity.

“Thank you.”

Cedric sighed, feeling as if he were making small talk with a stranger. Bella leaned into him as they walked down the makeshift aisle between the tables. The entire place looked like a winter wonderland. Bella wobbled on her heels, and Cedric gripped her waist. Most of the guests probably assumed Bella was either drunk or had imbibed in a joint with her father, Rock Maxwell, before the ceremony. Cedric knew she’d done neither.

For reasons he didn’t understand, the crowd of people triggered something about the attack, and he suspected she was fighting off a panic attack. He paused as they reached the location where they were to part and stand on opposite sides.

“Are you going to be okay?”

“I have to be.” She gazed up at him, steely resolve in her green eyes. He almost smiled, happy to see the old Bella still existed.

“That’s my girl.” Reluctantly, he released her and took his spot next to Cooper, who was white as a ghost and tugging on his collar as if being strangled.

Bella managed a tight smile and carefully made her way to where Avery and Emma stood.

The music changed to the traditional wedding march. Izzy walked down the grand staircase on her father’s arm and into the large ballroom with her head held high and her movements graceful. The guests seated among fake winter frost and snow scenes stood and turned to watch her as she walked up the aisle.

Izzy was so incredibly stunning, and her smile so radiant that an odd longing nested in the dead center of Cedric’s chest. He pictured Bella walking toward him in a long white gown with a sexy smile and her green eyes sparkling with joy and devilment. He blinked a few times, trying to regain a semblance of sanity. He’d never imagined any portion of his wedding, let alone every vivid detail. He fucking didn’t do shit like that.

Cedric’s gaze slid to Bella as she put on a brave front for her family, but he read the truth in her wrinkled brow and the smile that didn’t reach her eyes. If he could take on her pain, he would. If he could slay her dragons, he would. If he could heal her, he’d be the happiest man on the planet. But Cedric wasn’t a miracle worker. He was just a man, and all he had to offer Bella was himself, as imperfect and flawed as he was.

If only that would be enough.

Cooper cleared his throat next to Cedric, jarring Cedric into the present. Despite his worries about Bella, he too had duties to perform tonight as the best man. He glanced at Coop, who wasn’t looking too good, and elbowed him.

“She’ll be pissed as hell if you toss your cookies right in front of her and the guests.”

Cooper nodded and swallowed, but sweat had beaded on his forehead. Despite his nervousness, his gaze locked on Izzy. The look on his face said it all. This was a man in love. A man who’d found his final missing piece. A man who had a bright future with the other half of his soul. Coop had everything Cedric suddenly wanted.

Izzy looked fucking beautiful, like some fairy-tale princess. Cedric couldn’t be happier for his friend.

“You’re a lucky bastard,” Cedric whispered, and he meant it.

His comment brought a grin to Cooper’s face as Izzy walked the final few steps and took his arm.

The ceremony was thankfully brief. After which, Cooper bent Izzy over his arm and kissed the hell out of her. Cedric and his hockey-playing brethren hooted and hollered and banged on the tables.

Cedric moved to Bella’s side, and she smiled up at him, a true, genuine smile that gave him hope when he needed it most.

* * * *

Bella clutched Cedric’s muscular arm and ignored his grimace. The poor man’s arm would be covered in bruises before the night was over.

The place had erupted, morphing from a classy wedding ceremony into a crazy party that would last well into the night if the Maxwell women knew how to throw a party—and they did, even though Bella wasn’t bringing her A-game.

“Toughen up,” she whispered in his ear, allowing her lips the luxury of brushing against his cheek. A small sliver of excitement raced through her, and she secretly rejoiced at the first sign of passion she’d had since the
incident
.

Her reward was a heated glance from him, which gave her a guilty start for teasing him. Cedric had to be horny as hell even though he tried to hide it, but she didn’t think she could deliver tonight, despite the little spark she’d felt. Giving him hope was a shitty thing to do to a man who’d been her rock and her refuge. He’d asked nothing in return, not even a kiss. At least, not yet.

He leaned into her, sliding his lips across her jaw up to her earlobe. “Bella, are you doing okay?”

“I’m good as long as you’re with me.” When he slid his hand from her hip to her ass, she shook her head. “Please,” she pleaded. “I’m sorry.”

He frowned and a muscle jerked in his strong jaw. His mouth was set in a grim line of frustration and concern. “Bella, I know it’s still early, but maybe you need counseling or to talk to someone. Fuck, even your sisters.”

“Let’s get through this, and I’ll think about it.” She was lying, and they both knew it. Bella hated the thought of baring her soul to a stranger or family. She’d recover on her own with Cedric’s help, if only he’d have patience with her. Cedric’s staying ability with women didn’t speak well for his ability to stick with a relationship, or even a casual affair, when the going got tough. Yet he’d stuck with her all these months; maybe she was different, maybe she meant more to him than those other women.

Her inner bitch snorted at the thought, reminding her she wasn’t lovable unless she was wildly entertaining, sexy, and outrageous—all qualities that had eluded her lately. No one but her sisters had ever loved her for who she was. Once Cedric figured out the person under the bullshit, he’d sprint away faster than an Olympic speed skater.

Bella muzzled her inner critical bitch and opted to celebrate her little triumphs. This wedding was the first time she’d been out of the condo since the attack. So far she hadn’t hidden in a locked bathroom or erupted into a fit of tears. She’d tamped down her rising panic every time a man she didn’t know moved within a few feet of her, which was a win, and she’d take it.

Baby steps
.

She hated the weakness and the fear. Bella, the strong sister, did not cower in a corner or use a man for protection. Over the years, she’d gone blissfully about her business and been none the wiser, taking risks, being careless, and believing she was smarter than everyone else. Only she wasn’t.

She’d aged twenty years in that one night, and the coward she saw every time she looked in the mirror filled her with self-loathing. She taught victimized people to defend themselves, for God’s sake. She’d spouted all this bullshit about being strong and proactive, all the time feeling superior and without a clue as to what any of them had gone through.

Now she knew.

She could’ve lived her entire life without that knowledge.

Yet, many of her female students and a male or two had been violated far worse than she had, and from what she’d seen, they’d put on their big-girl or boy panties, given the finger to the world, and carried on. Bella, on the other hand, hid in Cedric’s condo and lived in denial.

She mentally slapped the critical bitch inside her. Stuff like this took time, and it hadn’t been that long.

“Bells.” Cedric nudged her, bringing her attention back to the present. His vivid blue eyes sliced through her defenses right down to the raw pain lurking in her darkest, hidden depths.

“Wanna dance?” he asked softly. When she didn’t respond, he took her elbow. She resisted, but he didn’t back down this time.

“Okay,” she conceded as he left her little choice in the matter.

Cedric pulled her in his arms, and she held him as if she were a teenaged girl stumbling through her first ballroom dancing lesson with a pimply-faced nerd for a partner. She tried to relax, but tension paralyzed her as people pressed close together on the crowded dance floor. She found herself scanning the crowd for those cold gray eyes, despite how unreasonable her fears. Her attacker would not be among these guests. She hadn’t known him before the attack. Of that she was certain. She’d never forget those eyes.

She gazed up at Cedric. “I’m sorry. I’m ruining your night.”

“A night with you in my arms is never a ruined night.” He winked at her and grinned, showing his perfect white teeth.

She managed a smile. “You’re such a charmer.”

“You’re not into dancing. How about a glass of wine?” His mouth tipped up in one of his trademark, sexy grins, and she was happy to see her problems hadn’t completely weighed him down.

“I’d love that.”

Bella took the hand he offered and pressed close to his side, grateful for the reprieve. She didn’t know what she’d do without Cedric right now, and she wondered how long he’d tolerate her behavior. If the tables were turned, would she be as understanding and kind? She honestly didn’t know.