BOMBSHELL (18 page)

I listened, but there was just no excuse for his invasion. Why he kept talking about this “danger” was beyond me. Was there an actual threat? Would he tell me if there was? Probably not. I remained quiet. “Mama?” he knocked again.

“I’m not sorry,” he said, “but I love you.”

I laid in bed for another hour or so, trying to wait him out, but now I had to go to the bathroom. I figured he was still here, but I couldn’t hold it any longer. Lately, I had been going to the bathroom quite frequently. I should schedule a doctor’s appointment soon. I also hadn’t been feeling my best lately.

I opened the door and went towards the bathroom without looking to see if he was still there or not. Barely making it to the toilet in time, I seriously almost pissed myself. That would have been real sexy. I heard movement outside the bathroom. Great, he was standing there waiting for me. I handled my business, washing my hands and opened the door. He was standing there, looking at me with those eyes. I just glared back at him and tried to go around him to get to my bedroom. He grabbed me by the elbow and said, “I’m not sorry.”

“Neither am I,” I said and jerked out of his hold.

He grabbed for me again and held me against him his front. I struggled against him, but he held tight and nuzzled into my neck.

“Get off of me,” I exclaimed.

He shook his head in my neck. “Can you be mad at me in there? I want to be near you. Please.”

“No, get off me and go home.”

He held me tight and started involuntarily walking me towards the bedroom. “Anywhere you are, is home for me.”

“Go to your 40
th
floor penthouse.” We reached the bedroom, where he was still walking me towards the bed as I pushed back against him. He bent down, swept me up and laid me on the bed and climbed in. Before I could scramble off, he had me pinned with my hands above my head in one hand, his torso on mine and his face in my face.

“Mama,” he purred.

He knew I loved that name. For the life of me, I didn’t know why. God knows I didn’t want to be this mans’ mama. I despised mama’s boys or any man who wanted to make his woman his mama. That wasn’t what this nickname was about, it was about adoration and respect. I got it now and I loved it. He knew he had me, because I melted right under him.

He leaned down and kissed me. Slow and wanting. We’d spent the last few weeks not humping each other, because I didn’t want to wear out my welcome or him to wear out his. In reality, he was moving a little fast for me and I kind of wanted to slow down, hence why I was at my house this evening. I knew he didn’t like it, but I didn’t know he wouldn’t abide by it. He had before, but I guess he was done with that. He let my hands go and whispered a low command, “Stay.”

I stayed put, as he opened my blouse button by button. My bra was next and then my pants were loosened and pulled down along with my panties. Yeah, he was done with the separation. We had had sex, but usually it was the quick dirty kind, where he had me bent over the sofa or holding my ankles, up against the wall, in the shower. Spanking my ass in the process. I loved that. I wanted more of that.

He looked at me and said, “Has my mama been a good girl?”

I shook my head, “No.”

He raised an eyebrow and said, “Oh, she hasn’t, has she? What do you think is a suitable punishment?”

I looked away and he commanded, “Eyes on me.”

My eyes snapped to his. “Spanking?” I suggested.

“I think more than a spanking will need to happen?” He said, “I think you need to be tied up like my gift, while I spank and fuck that sweet ass of yours.”

My core was instantly soaked. I have never been tied up or had my ass fucked, but damn did I want it now. I arched my back and my titties jiggled a little. He smiled and said, “My baby likes that.”

I nodded.

“On your belly and hands above your head on the bed.”

I obeyed. He went into the drawer and pulled out a bag. Where did that come from? All I could see in the bag was the lubricant and red ribbon. He rose above me and put my wrist together and tied a bow around them. It wasn’t tight, but it was snug. He then commanded, “On your knees, face down.”

I propped my butt up in the air and waited until he gave me my next command. He said, “You’ve been a naughty girl, Samantha. You know what naughty girls get, right?”

“Yes,” I answered as he slapped my ass.

“That’s one of five.” He said as I moaned in protest, I wanted more.

Slap.

I moaned again. He rubbed my ass and then he kissed it. Suddenly, there was something cold running down my crack and then his finger pressed against my little bud of muscle. I wiggled my ass and he slapped me again. It felt so good. I couldn’t help but stick it out further to signal that I wanted more of his punishment. “You want it, don’t you? You naughty girl, you want to see me lose control, because I love your ass.”

Wiggling my ass got it slapped again. Causing me to stick it out more. “Yes, I want you to spank me, I’ve been naughty,” I said in a voice that didn’t sound like my own. He groaned and slapped my ass hard again.

Then I heard shuffling and saw his shirt fly across the bed. “You’re going to be so tight, baby. But know daddy’s got you. Alright?”

I nodded my head, “Yes.”

A finger went in my tight ass and I moaned my acceptance. Then he added two. He was fucking me so good with his fingers that I started to rock back and forth on them. He slapped my ass again and I started to rotate. He added another finger and it stretched me out, nice and good. Filled me up and almost made me cum. “Spread your legs more,” he commanded.

I spread them more and he removed his fingers and lined up his huge cock to my little asshole. He pressed in slowly, in and out, repeatedly, until he gained more access. I tried not to yell out in pain, but it burned. I knew it would get better, so I waited it out. After he fed it in some more, he started to play with my clit, doing his guitar string motions that always sent me over the edge. Joshua started fucking me in the ass with earnest now. The pain had slightly subsided and I started rocking back on him. He stopped once it was all the way in and let me adjust. Once I got used to it, I started moving back on it, so he let me ride his dick. I moaned and told him, “I love you in my tight ass.”

He smacked my ass and I rode him faster, “Ride that, mama. Make that ass jiggle.”

I started rotating on him and made my ass pop up and down. He groaned, grabbed me by the hips and yelled, “Goddamn.”

He leaned down to me and asked, “You want me to fill your ass, baby?”

“Yes,” I nodded my head.

He grabbed my hips tighter and started to rock home. He kept caressing my little button, so I could cum. I screamed his name, and he came in my tight forbidden channel. Then he collapsed on me as we both sank down to the bed. “That’s my mama.”

I just laid there. Wondering how deep I was in with this man. I was in love with him and I didn’t know how to accept that.

“How come you don’t go to your BDSM club anymore?” I asked several minutes later while in my post-coital moment. 

“Where did that come from?” he breathed.

“Just curious.”

“It wasn’t my scene anymore. I guess I just wanted something more than scenes and momentary highs.”

“Do you miss it?”

“Sometimes,” he whispered.

“Do you want to go back?”

“Why, when I have you?”

“I will go with you. I’d like to know more about it?”

“Really?” he asked, and seemed genuinely surprised.

“Yeah, it won’t hurt to see it right?”

“No, it won’t, but only if you want to go.”

“I do. I want to know about that other side of your life.”

JOSHUA:

She’s pregnant. I knew it. Her boobs were bigger, he ass was fuller, she hadn’t been eating as much lately and right now, she was currently throwing up in the bathroom, yet for the fifth time that I’ve spent the night with her. She keeps chalking it up to her adjusting to some new diet, but I know she’s pregnant. She’s damn near glowing. I didn’t want to spook her, so I didn’t say anything. I also didn’t want her to do anything rash, because I wanted a little girl that looked like my Samantha. More importantly, I wanted it with her.

She was feeling like we were moving too fast and this would spook her. She was already like a deer in head lights when I told her I loved her, when I gave her my house keys. When I said I was taking her to London, she had the look of terror in her eyes.

She emerged from the bathroom and said, “I’m going to see the doctor today, this stomach thing isn’t working. I may be allergic to something.”

I nodded my head and said, “Yeah, got to get that checked out, because this isn’t healthy. Go to my doctor, he’s closer than your primary physician in Queens. Afterwards come and tell me what he says.

She looked at me sympathetically and asked, “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, he’s good and because he’s in my building, I get a chance to see you.”

“I’m sorry honey, I’ll make it up to you.” She frowned.

I laughed, because this was also the fifth time we had been engaging in morning wood relief, when she had to throw up, leaving the wood in place.

Knowing what the doctor was going to say, I began to make some calls and put some things in place that she would need when the time came.

SAMANTHA:

“Positive?” I asked my doctor.

“Yes, Samantha, your pregnancy test came back positive.”

“But I’m on birth control.”

“Yes, I know, but these things happen.”

I know these things happen, but not to me. I had a plan. I would get my business off the ground, find a nice man, settle down for two years and then get pregnant or adopt. Not now. My business was not off the ground yet, even with the Kelly account. Goddamn. What would Joshua say? Oh God, was I going to keep it? This did not fit into my plan. Not at all and nobody would know until I made my decision and depending on my decision, would I decide to tell someone. There may be nothing to tell. Goddamn!

I went home, bolted the door, and texted Joshua that I was having a break out and needed to chill a couple of days. He wouldn’t take kindly to this excuse so I packed a bag and went to a hotel. I didn’t want to have to see him like this.

Surprisingly, he texted back and asked what the doctors said. I told him that she said it was stress and I needed some R&R.  He told me to get that. Then my mom texted and told me she was in town, so she wanted to see me. This was totally weird. She never went anywhere without my dad and she didn’t just pop into town. I called her and told her where I was. I met her in the lobby and she had one suitcase and I blurted, “Are you getting a divorce?”

“Heavens, no. Sweetie, I just wanted to see you. What is wrong? Is everything alright?” she seemed to look through my soul.

I started crying right there in the lobby. She hugged me and I just kept crying as we embraced. People walked around us, but I was glad that she was here. I needed my mom in this moment of my life. We went to my room and I told her everything. She listened, offered some tidbits, but seemed genuinely unfazed by the news. She asked when I was going to tell Joshua, so I told her when I decided what I was going to do. She challenged that he should be a part of the decision. I said he wasn’t going to carry a baby for nine months, so he wouldn’t be, therefore she encouraged me to reconsider this.

We relaxed, went to dinner and had a great day. I called off from work the next day and we went to the spa. Joshua texted me to see if I was alright. I told him I was fine. I was actually shocked that he hadn’t come to find me. The man was so overprotective. It was like he knew I’d be occupied.  Wait a fucking minute.

“Mom, why are you here?” I asked her as we sat getting pedicures side-by-side.

“Just checking on my baby,” she said.

“Right, but how did you get here?”

“On a plane.”

“Don’t get coy with me, mom. Did Joshua have something to do with this?”

“Something like what?”

“Mom.”

“Oh, alright. He called and said you were under a lot of stress and could use some motherly love. So he sent his private jet to get me and I’m here.” She smiled.

Shit, that meant he knew. But how? That man.

I texted him:

              You know, don’t you?

Joshua:

              Yeah, mama.

Samantha:

              How?

Joshua:             

              I know your body, your moods
              your pattern
s
they were off

Samantha:

              Oh

Joshua:

              So, when do you want to talk?

Samantha:

              I don’t want to talk

Joshua:

              But we will talk.
              Enjoy your mom!
              Love you baby. Miss you

Samantha:

              *Sigh*

Dammit!

******

Mom went home on Friday morning, after I told her that I was good and would talk to Joshua tonight. We were going to go to one of his exclusive restaurants and have our talk. I was not looking forward to this, but we had to do it. Even if he didn’t know, I could never deny him that right as my mom so candidly pointed out.

He met me with a passionate kiss as I approached the table, where he was already seated. There was no one near us and we were secluded. He felt so good, I leaned into him and let him take my lips.  He finally let me go and said, “I missed you. Did you enjoy your mom’s visit?”

“Yes,” I said, “thanks for thinking of me.”

“Always,” he responded.

I sat down across from him in the u-shaped booth and busied myself with my purse. There was nothing that I needed in there, but I just didn’t want to face him or talk about this right now. He brought his hands up to gather mine and asked, “How did your mom take the news?”

“She was supportive,” I looked up at him. “She is on board with whatever decision I make.”

“You make?” he mused.

“Yes.”

“I don’t have a say in this?” he asked.

“I’m here to talk with you about it.” I gestured with my palm up towards him.

“I see.” He shifted in his seat, “So, what I have to say doesn’t matter?”

“Well, what are you saying, Joshua. You haven’t said anything as of yet. I am here to meet with you, as you are a part of this like me. So –“

“Samantha,” he grabbed both my hands in his, “I’ve told you what I want. That is you. When the dust settles, I want you. I want you in my life, in my bed, in my head. I’m in love with you, I want to marry you, I want you to carry my name and my children. I don’t have a particular order that needs to happen in, because at the end of the day, I want you.” He looked at me with piercing eyes.

“So, fate has jumped the gun and we’ve conceived a child. I want us to have that child. Our child,” he finished.

“But that doesn’t fit into my plan, Joshua. We are already moving too fast and I have no idea how to slow this down or you down. We’ve known each other for what, 4 months? I mean it hasn’t even been a half a year yet and how can you be so certain about what you want? I mean, come on Joshua. You barely know me. I barely know you. When we are good, we’re good, but there is a lot to work out here between us and now bringing a child into play. Joshua, that’s just crazy.”

He looked at me and said nothing. This made me a little worried, because I expected him to blow a gasket, but he was calm. This I wasn’t sure how to deal with.

“Joshua, say something.”

“What is there to say, when you’ve made up your mind about our child and us?”

“Oh, don’t do that. Come on, you know what I mean.”

“No, actually I don’t. I just told you that I love you among other things, actually I’ve told you that I love you several times and you have yet to say that back. Do you love me, Samantha?”

“I told you, I’m not familiar with the concept.”

“Oh, I think you are quite familiar. You know if you are away from someone long enough, your chest aches. You want to always be in that person’s company. You will walk through valleys and mountains to get to them. To protect them. No matter what, you’ll have their back. That’s love. Do you love me, Samantha?”

“Joshua,” I looked at him with pleading eyes, “please, do not do this right now. We have bigger fish to fry.”

“No, the fish that needs frying is the one that hasn’t been addressed the longest. You have already decided you weren’t going to have this baby, so I’m trying to decide if we are going to continue to have a relationship.”

Well, damn. How did he really feel?

“Is this because I don’t want to have the baby right now?” I asked deflated.

“No, it’s because I’m starting to get the sneaky suspicion that I’m in this,” he pointed between us, “relationship alone. I see advancement, while you are looking for exits.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I exclaimed, “I can’t believe you would say that to me. After all we’ve been through. All that we’ve shared.”

“That’s my fucking point, Samantha. We’ve been through a lot of shit and you are going to sit here and act like I’m some Joe-schmoe off the fucking streets that you don’t know, don’t want to move forward with and don’t love.” He threw down his napkin. “That’s what the fuck I’m talking about. We are moving too fast? Are you fucking kidding me? I’m in love with your selfish ass and I’m the goddamn fool, because I convinced myself that you love me to.”

He was glaring at me.

“What do you want from me, Samantha? A settlement check? You want me to pay you to keep my baby?” I gasped and stood up.

He stood up as well. My mouth was wide open, because I couldn’t believe he was talking to me like that. Tears came to my eyes. “You know me better than that, Joshua,” I murmured.

“Apparently, I don’t.” He grabbed his coat and walked out.

What the fuck?

Tears poured down my cheeks because I couldn’t believe he actually thought that about me. I would never do such a thing. I don’t even want to take his money, he can keep all his fucking money. I want none of it. He called me selfish, which was a slap in the face. Was I being selfish? I felt like I had to be selfish. He had everything he could ever want or need, but I’m still trying to build my career – but I’m selfish.

As I boarded the elevator in my apartment, I was so upset, I didn’t even see when someone ran for the elevator and just barely made it. I looked up and it was Trevor. I moved away from him as he took a step towards me.

“Babe, you’re crying - what’s wrong?” he asked.

Tears kept coming down my face and I couldn’t talk. He moved towards me and pulled me in for a hug. My reflexes kicked in, I held onto him and sobbed. He took me to his apartment, sat me on the couch and gave me my favorite ice cream. I tried to smile as I dug in.

“What going on? Joshua?”

“I’m pregnant,” I blurted.

“Wow, okay. And-“

“He wants to keep it, but it’s not in my plan, then he accused me of trying to get money from him, not loving him, and using him.” I started to sob around my ice cream again.

“Babe, he doesn’t believe that.”

“He said it, he thought it, and somewhere he believes that shit.”

“He was angry and upset. You should go to him.”

I whirled on him, “And why the fuck would I do that, if he talked to me that way. He believes that shit. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have said it.”

“Samantha, I know firsthand what’s it’s like to say shit in the heat of the moment, that you really don’t mean. You wish you could take it back. I know he is kicking himself right now, I wouldn’t even be surprised if he’s not at your door first thing tomorrow morning. He didn’t mean that shit. You should go over there and fix it. Fix it now, before it blows up. You love him, you may not want to or think that you should, but it’s evident. Ask anyone who knows you or seen you with him or heard you talk about him. You’re in love with him. I didn’t say it to him, but one of the reasons that I didn’t have a chance with you, was because you were in love with him then. I knew it, but you didn’t.” Trevor looked down at his ice cream and twirled it around on his spoon.

I got up and bent down to kiss him on the cheek. “Thanks friend,” I said and left.

I caught a taxi over to the Kelly Building and used my key for the first time to go to his penthouse. My heart was racing and my palms were sweaty. He was so mad earlier, he might not even let me in. I knocked tentatively as it was 11 PM at night. I heard some shuffling and then the door opened. He stood in the door with no shirt on, lounge pants on and no shoes. His expression was blank. So much for happy to see me.