Bondi Beach (20 page)

Chapter 37

APRIL 2
5

Her service was held two days after she passed and was attended by more than 200 people. She'd been well-loved, and her death was a surprise to everyone who knew her
. The cathedral was beautiful – great stonework, beautiful stained glass windows, and gorgeous Gothic architecture. There were at least a dozen sprays of flowers in pinks, whites, yellows, and blues.

Several people stood
up after the service to share experiences that they’d had with Flo. One neighbor explained that Flo had brought a cake to her right after she had moved in. Another mentioned that Flo had brought food to her family after she had broken her leg. Friends talked about her many kindnesses and even shared some funny stories. It was a great mix of laughter and tears that day as family and friends gathered together to remember this beautiful woman. I was only sad that I hadn't gotten to know her better.

Following the service, some of Martin’s and Janine’s closest friends and family came to the house
. Bud, Syke, and Drew had all flown in from Sydney and driven to the house together. It was good to see them, again, but I would have given anything for the circumstances to have been different. It clearly meant the world to Martin to have his friends there.

Initially, I had tried to focus on taking care of the details so that Martin and Janine woul
dn't have to. I filled food trays, poured drinks for the guests, encouraged people to sign the guestbook, and hung and fetched jackets and purses for everyone. It didn't take long for me to realize, however, that Martin wanted me by his side. So that's where I stayed the rest of the day – Janine on one side and me on the other.

As the afternoon wore on into evening, the visitors began to leave
. Everyone offered their assistance to Martin and Janine, and neighbors promised to bring food for the next week or two.

Red-eyed and tired of crying,
Janine sat down on the living room sofa and began to flip through the old family photo albums that lay on the coffee table. Having hardly eaten for days, she dug into a package of Tim Tams and ate about half of the double chocolate wafers, absent-mindedly trying to break them apart to eat the icing on the inside.

I loaded the dishwasher and washed
the big serving bowls and platters that wouldn't fit. Martin came up behind me and held me for a long moment, his face in my neck. I closed my eyes and stood there with him as Janine blew her nose in the living room.

"Thank you for everything you did today
. I don't know how we would've gotten through this without you."

“You have a lot of people who love you. They would've helped. You would've been fine."

He closed his eyes as a tear slid down his face. "I don't ever want to have to be fine without you.” Then, he let me go, picked up a dish towel, and began drying the dishes that were lined up along the edges of the sink and across the counter.

Chapter 3
8

APRIL 2
6-30

The following days were devoted to going through Flo's possessions and
giving them to some of her friends – the jacket that her friend Dolly had given her as a birthday present, the statue that Marge and Bill had given to her for watching their house when they were away. Her closest friends and family were invited in to take one or two things that held special meaning for them. Most of her clothes were given to friends or donated to a local thrift shop that provides meals for the homeless.

As
executor of Flo’s trust, Martin suggested to Janine that they split the investments but that Janine keep the house. Selling the house would have been too difficult for her emotionally. At first, Janine protested; however, she lived in an apartment with roommates who kept her awake at night, and giving her the house seemed like the most compassionate and logical solution. It also would allow her to stay in the place that she most closely associated with her mother. She would be able to grieve in a place that was familiar and comfortable and already felt like home. It was the best gift that Martin could have given to her.

By giving the house to Janine, they
also didn't have to worry about packing boxes and moving them into storage. Instead, Janine told Martin to take whatever he wanted, and she would pack everything else that they couldn’t use.

He spent a couple of partial days going through
some of Flo’s things. She had kept a lot of memorabilia - old photos, comic books, their old school papers, and so forth. Everything that Martin picked up brought back memories so the process of sorting and deciding what to keep and what to let go of took some time. He ran across some photos of Bud and the Mikes with him in Sydney when they were sixteen years old. Some were surfing and beach photos, and others were taken at Flo’s house or at homes of their friends.

I also saw photos of a couple of Martin’s girlfriends
as well as a few photo albums that he had made when he and Melanie were married. I could see why things hadn't worked out. Melanie didn't look happy in any of the pictures. In the later photos, she barely smiled. It looked like the harder Martin reached for her, the more she pulled away. It must have been horrible for both of them.

I sat on the sofa o
ne evening looking through the old albums. Janine came and sat down beside me, a cup of steaming tea in her hand. "Here," she said. “I thought you might like this."

Looking up at her, I said,
“Thanks, Janine. That's really sweet of you."

"Wh
at are you looking at?” She peered down. “
Melanie
.”

“Yeah. Martin ran across
these earlier."

"She was awful."

"It doesn't sound like anybody really thought very much of her."

She shook her head.
"She got really jealous whenever Martin spent time with us or his friends. She thought she was better than everybody else. She was totally insecure, always in the mirror fixing her makeup or putting on lipstick. Then, she wanted my brother to always tell her how good she looked.”

"Really?"

Janine nodded. “One time, my grandma was in town, and we had a family picnic. Melanie didn't want my brother to go. He told her that he was going, anyway, and asked her to come to the picnic, but she didn't want to go. She wanted him to stay home instead."

"
That’s a shame."

"Yeah. Then, there was the whole baby thing.”

Curious, I cocked my head to one side. "What baby thing?"

"
When Martin told Janine that they weren't right together, she moved out. Then, she showed up at his door a few months later pregnant. She told him she wanted to get back together and that he was the father. He was going to do it, but…."

Martin walked into the room
, and Janine looked up at him “…then, he found out he wasn’t the father.”

I took
in a deep breath and let it out, looking up at Martin.

He’d heard what Janine had said. She
covered her mouth. “I just told her about the baby.”

“Oh,
” was all he said.

Janine’s phone rang, and she left the room to answer it.

He sat beside me, and I put my hand on his thigh. "I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"
I’m sorry I never told you. I probably should have. Since it didn’t turn out to be mine, it didn’t seem to matter."

"It's okay. It's going to take
a while for us to learn about each other.” I smiled as he slid his arm across my shoulders. I was tired and leaned my head back, resting it on his arm. “It's not like you have to tell me everything. You know?”

He leaned his head back and closed his eyes
, too. "I don't keep anything from you. At least, not intentionally."

"
I know you’ve never tried to deceive me. I'm just saying that you have a lifetime of stories, and I'll never know them all. It's up to you to decide what you want to share with me.” I thought for a moment. “Martin,” I turned my body to face him, and he opened his eyes. "Did you want to be a father?"

"We tried a
t first, but, as the marriage got worse, I didn’t think it would be a good relationship to raise a child in. But if it had been my baby, I would've stayed."

"You're a good man."

"No, I just remember what it felt like to never really have a father around."

We were quiet for a moment
. "Who was the father?" I asked.

"My best friend Steve.
" I turned to look at him, and he just closed his eyes and rested his head against mine.

Chapter 39

MAY 1-27

By the beginning of May, we had taken care of most of what needed to be done as far as Flo’s estate was concerned. Regardless of how anyone felt, it was time to reenter the world of the living. Janine returned to work as did Martin. He and I flew back to Sydney where Drew picked us up and took us back to the house.

A
wave of nostalgia flooded over me when we walked in the door. The past ten days or so had been so emotional, anyway, and a lot of memories returned for me when we walked back into Martin’s place, and I could tell that he was happy to be home.

I had no idea
when I was going to return home. None of our travel plans had worked out as we had expected, but we went with it anyway. I would stay in Sydney until it felt like I needed to go home. Goodness knows how long that would be. A few weeks? A few months? I sure didn't know.

I didn't want to interfere with Martin's ability to
return to a normal life, and that included work; however, I also didn't want to leave too early and leave him feeling unsupported. Apologetic but feeling the need to catch up, he spent the next two weeks mostly on the computer and phone trying to put out fires at work. There was a possibility that he might need to return to Gabon. They were doing a large solar installation and working with the government to build a school and health clinic that were all off the grid. The problems were less logistical and more political. Somehow, Martin seemed to be able to smooth things over whenever egos were ruffled and work came to a halt. If he had to return, he’d told them, they’d have to give him enough advance notice that he could start taking his malaria pills a few weeks before leaving. Two bouts of malaria in one lifetime were enough for anyone.

I texted a few of my friends to let them know that I’d returned to Australia unexpectedly. Denise and Tess
were concerned, and my painting instructor certainly understood why I had to drop out of the class.

Although I had my computer, I didn't have much to do during the daytime. So, I would
drive to Sydney and visit museums and galleries and take day tours around the area. Some evenings, I took long walks along the beach behind Martin’s house. After about three weeks, he began to come, too. We enjoyed holding hands and walking along the beach in the evening, watching the sky change as the sun was setting. Sometimes, we would pass the occasional jogger with three dogs or some stray tourists but not very often. There weren't many people on that stretch of beach.

One evening, when I had gone walking alone, a man approached me. I was
on my way back toward Martin's house, and he was coming from the opposite direction. At first, I thought that he was just out walking, but, as he drew closer, I realized that he was watching me. It made me a little nervous since I was there alone, but I didn't really make anything out of it.

"Hello," he said with gusto as we neared one another.

"Hi," I said with a smile as I continued to walk ahead.

"You must be
Eva.”

I
stopped. I had no idea who he was.

"I'm an old friend of Martin's. My name is Steve."

He extended his hand, and I shook it. "It's nice to meet you, Steve."

"Beautiful beach, isn’t it?"

“It is,” I agreed. “I'm sorry. I've never seen you here before. How did you know who I am?"

“Not a lot of people on this beach
. Mike told me you were staying with Martin.”

I nodde
d. "Yeah.”

“I heard his
mom just passed away." He shook his head. "Mrs. R. was a real good lady."

I nodded again. “Yes, she was.”

“How long will you be staying, Eva?”

I shook my head. “I don’t know.”

He smiled at me for a moment before saying, "Well, I'd better get back home to my wife. She's never happy when I'm gone too long."

“Okay.”

“Good to meet you, Eva,” he said cheerfully.

“You, too, Steve,
” I said and continued my walk back to Martin’s.

*****

When I got back to the house, I found Martin in his office. He’d just gotten off the phone and stretched his arms over his head when he saw me come in. “Hey. How was your walk?”

“It was fine.
” I hesitated, taking off my jacket and laying it over the doorknob. "I just met Steve."

Martin
got up and walked over to me. "What?"

“
A guy named Steve was walking toward me on the beach. I thought he was just somebody who was out for a walk, but he kept looking at me as he was getting closer. He stopped and introduced himself. He knew my name, and he knew about your mom. He said Mike told him. Then, he said that he needed to get home because his wife never likes it when he’s gone too long."

Martin looked angry. “
I'm sure she sent him on a reconnaissance mission when she heard that we’re together. It must be driving her crazy."

“You don't think she's happy with Steve?"

"She won’t be happy with anybody, and she doesn't want to see anyone else happy either.” He took my hand in his. "Listen, Eva, I don't want you walking alone on the beach anymore.”

Surprised, I asked,
"Are you kidding?"

He shook his head.
“I wish I was. It's not that I think they would do anything to you. I just don’t want you to be in the middle of this."

I looked at him.
“Exactly what are you afraid I’ll be in the middle of?”

S
haking his head, he said, “I don’t know, but she’s up to something. I can feel it.”

It wasn't like Martin to be perturbed
, but he had this thing about wanting to be there to protect me. He felt guilty about not being there for his mother until right before she died. Of course, it still bothered him that Mike had tried something with me. Now, Steve had sought me out and had been able to talk to me on the beach when Martin wasn’t there. Martin wanted to be sure that he would be there in case I ran into Steve or Melanie again. And he was.