Bondi Beach (7 page)

Chapter 13

JANUARY 21

I spent the next several days emerging from my small cocoon at Martin’s house and seeing more of the area around Sydney and his area north of the city. Martin had just finished a large contract and was getting ready to wrap up a smaller one over the next few months. Things were going well for him at work, and he had some time to show me around.

Our first stop
was Ku-ring-gai Chase National Park, which was practically in his backyard. Up the coast of New South Wales and about an hour north of Bondi Beach, the park is at the nexus of the Hawkesbury River and Tasman Sea. It has several sheltered coves and beaches. The sandstone ridges are covered with wildflowers, and dense forests run down the sloping landscapes to the sea. There are little inlets everywhere, and mangroves can be found in some of the tidal mud flats.

Australia’s second oldest national park,
Ku-ring-gai had been founded in 1894. It’s filled with aboriginal history and culture as well as several different types of habitat, including rainforests, open woodlands, estuaries, and heaths.

We took a winding road
along a forested ridge and followed it, making our way downhill toward a quiet cove. Martin parked the car, and we held hands as we wandered on the beach. Being a weekday, there wasn't much traffic, and we had the cove to ourselves. We had brought a picnic lunch with us and laid out a blanket where we could enjoy the beautiful water view.

Martin lay back on
the blanket. "This is one of my favorite places in the world."

"
It's a good thing you live so close," I told him as I sat down.

He smiled
. “The Guringai people used to live here. Then, the British First Fleet came to visit the area and left. When they came back later, over half of the Guringai had died of smallpox. The survivors moved out of the area, and white settlers moved in."

"Where did the
Guringai go?”

"They left Pittwater
. I’m not sure exactly where the remaining people settled, but there are a lot of Aboriginal people who now live around this area and in Sydney. I'll take you to see some rock carvings and hand stencils. There’s a really rich history here – over 800 aboriginal sites just at the park."

I smiled at him. "You sound like a tour guide."

He laughed. "I’ve always loved it here. I used to come here when Melanie and I were having problems. One time, I asked her if she wanted to come here with me because she was curious about where I was spending my time when I wasn’t with her.” He shrugged. “When I brought her here, she said it was nice but wouldn't even get out of the car. She didn’t want to like anything that I did.”

"Was it difficult staying in the house after you split up?”
I asked.

"
No. By then, I felt lonelier when we were together than I did when I was by myself. When she left the house and moved back to Sydney, it was kind of a relief."

I
nodded. “I’m sorry you went through all of that.”

He lay on his back with his ey
es closed. I watched him for a moment, thinking about what his marriage to Melanie must have been like.

I’m in Australia having an affair
. The thought floated into my mind quite naturally, and it suddenly made me feel insecure about us. I’d made love with this man, yet I hardly knew him. What if things didn’t work out between us, which they probably wouldn’t? Could I handle another emotional loss? It was entirely nonsensical that we were even dating one another. I tried to think of couples that I’d known who had survived a long-distance relationship. There weren’t any. It’s hard enough when people are in the same proximity.

Just then, I realized that my rational mind
was trying to take over. I also realized that, if I allowed that to happen, I would kill whatever precious thing was occurring between Martin and me. I looked over at him, and he was watching me closely.

"What
just happened?" he asked quietly.

Surprised that he’d noticed anything,
I shook my head and looked out at the water before looking back at him. "I love how open and trusting you are.”

“But
?”

I felt embarrassed
. “I have doubts. About us,” I confessed guiltily. “I mean, we’ve only known each other for a couple of weeks, and I’m falling in love with you. But I just don’t know….” I shook my head, not sure whether to feel angry with myself for having so many doubts or proud of myself for feeling so cautious.

Martin
reached out his arm, and I lay down next to him hoping that he would help me to resolve my insecurities. He stared up at the sky. “It's easy to make love harder than it really is.”

I looked over at him
. “Don't you have any doubts?"

"Sure I do,” he said, looking at me
, “but not about being with you.” He paused. “The only thing I doubt is whether you'll choose to be with me."

"
How can you be so sure that we're going to work?" I asked, feeling a little incredulous.

H
e said calmly, "Because we want to."

I
continued to struggle with all of the things that I've learned about love and relationships. Getting to know someone takes time. Years. Possibly a lifetime. Love and marriage are complicated and hard. It takes two people who are committed, and you really don't know if it's a good fit until you’ve been together through good times and bad. “It just goes against everything that I've come to believe about relationships. You know, that it takes a lot of time and effort to get to know one another, and, even then, it doesn’t always work.”

Martin said,
"I think the reason it takes so much time to figure it out for some people is because they're not honest with each other up front about who they really are. I'm not going to hide anything from you. What you see is what you get. No surprises, no ghosts in my closet.”

He smiled
and rolled onto his side, taking my hand in his. “Eva, the only thing that taking your time does is to let time slip away. Time passes by while you’re thinking, rationalizing, and deciding. If you doubt whether we should be together and you let time go by, it means that there's less time to be in a meaningful, committed relationship. I'm just not interested in losing time that way. I'd rather spend it loving you."

I turned toward him and smiled.
“I love the way you think, but my rational mind still interferes with just letting go and trusting.”

He ran his hand down my arm.
“I don’t blame you. You’re right – we haven’t known each other that long. There are good reasons to be careful and not open yourself up to being so vulnerable.”

“Like what?”
Given how readily he’d been willing to enter into a serious relationship with me, I was curious to know when he felt that being cautious was important.

Lying on his back, again, he closed his eyes and smiled
. “Believe me, if I had used more of my rational mind when I met Melanie, I might not have married her. But I trusted that she was who she said she was. I knew we were different but thought that I could fill in the gaps. On the other hand, I can't second-guess whether I was right to marry Melanie. Because if I hadn't married her, my life would've been different, and I might’ve never met you.”

"So, you don't doubt us at all?"
I asked.

H
e looked back up at the sky, shook his head, and simply said, “No.”

*****

Martin dozed off for a while. I was warm in the sun so I stripped off down to my swimsuit and walked into the water until I was up to my neck. It felt good, and I treaded water before turning over and floating on my back for a while. When I swam around toward the edge of the cove, I felt a stronger current there so I moved back in a little closer to shore. After half an hour, I was ready to come out of the water and lay in the sun.

Martin was watching me
. “You’re beautiful,” he said.

“Thank you.”
I smiled and lay down on the blanket beside him. He slowly ran his hands along my inner thigh, kissing me until it seemed wise to stop. This was a public cove after all.

I lay in the sun until my swimsuit was dry
before turning over. When I was nearly dry on both sides, I dressed, and we left the cove to explore more of the park. By evening, we were getting hungry and decided to go home for dinner. I made a salad, Martin made some stir-fry, and we sat in the living room and ate.

“W
hat do you want to see tomorrow?" he asked.

“I don't know. Where do you think we should go?"

"If you like the outdoors, which you seem to, I could take you to the Royal Botanic Gardens in Sydney. It's a beautiful spot right on Sydney Harbour. There's a café there where we could have lunch, and," he smiled, "if we stay there long enough, we can watch the bats fly around the park in the evening."

I sat up. "I love bats!"

“Really?” he laughed.

“Yes,” I said excitedly.

“Hmm
. I wouldn’t have guessed that.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know many people who love bats.” He seemed amused.

"What kind are they?"

"Flying foxes.”

“
My favorite.”

He looked at me quizzically
. “Are you kidding?”

“I’m serious!”
I laughed. “Those are really cool bats.”

"Then, I guess
we’re going to the Royal Botanic Gardens tomorrow,” he chuckled.

“Yes!”
I gave him a high five, and Martin just laughed.

Chapter 14

JANUARY 22

It was a beautiful day to be outdoors, and Martin made a point of showing me around Sydney. We went to Circular Quay, which is in Sydney Cove between The Rocks and Bennelong Point. It comprises walkways, parks, restaurants, and pedestrian malls.

From there,
we caught the Manly Ferry where we could see Sydney’s gorgeous Opera House and Harbour Bridge. It took us just under twenty minutes to actually cross over to Manly, a suburb of Sydney. As it turns out, Manly got its name from a British Captain, who commented that the local Guringai people had “confidence and manly behavior.” Once there, we visited the historic area of North Head and spent a while on Shelly Beach.

Later,
Martin offered to take me up the Sydney Tower to get a good view of the city. At over 1000 feet high, I learned that the tower is Australia's second tallest freestanding structure and Sydney's tallest. It was built mostly in the 1970s, but the lower part was refurbished just a few years ago. We decided to eat at the revolving restaurant another time. Today, we were interested in the Sydney Tower Eye, a fabulous observation deck with 360° views of Sydney from over 800 feet above ground. The views were amazing, and I realized that I was starting to fall in love with Sydney. It was a glorious city with water in three directions and mountains to the west. I looked forward to exploring it more.

Not only did we see the Royal Botanic Gardens, but we made sure that we got there before dusk so that I could have my fill of bats.
As Australia's oldest garden, it was founded in 1816 and is also the country's oldest scientific institution. The collection of nearly 9,000 plants from Australia and the South Pacific was mind-boggling with many species that I'd never seen before. The garden also has a library and herbarium and, I learned, receives three million visitors each year. I’m sure that its location has a lot to do with the high number of visitors as the garden was close to the harbour, opera house, galleries, and museums. The garden also is surrounded by a large open area known as the Domain, which seemed to be popular as well.

Once dusk arrived, so did the bats
– 22,000 of them lived in the park. A few people, children mostly, screamed and ran. Most of the bats flew high, and we watched their profiles against the darkening sky.

Finally, we
departed for home. Neither of us was hungry. We both showered, and Martin excused himself to check his email and do some work. I checked my email and was tired so I went to bed.

I awoke when Martin came into the bedroom
around midnight. He got into bed quietly so he wouldn’t awaken me.

“It’s okay,” I
said quietly. “I’m not asleep.”

“Did I wake you?”
he asked, sounding a little concerned.

“Yes
. But I don’t mind.” He got into bed behind me, and I turned over to face him. “Did you catch up on work?”

He smiled a little.
“Mostly.”

Watching me for a moment, h
e ran the back of his hand along my collarbone as the moonlight fell across our bodies. “Do you know how beautiful you are?”

I smiled
. “No.”

His smile grew.
“I don’t believe it.”

“Why
?”

“I’d think you would hear that all the time.”

“You don’t hear from many guys when you live alone on top of a hill.”

Martin chuckled.
“So, I’ll just have to tell you, won’t I?”

Reaching out, h
e stroked my hair slowly, and his face became serious. I tried to read him, but what I saw in him didn’t quite make sense. He looked at me almost as though we had been lovers for years. He seemed so comfortable, and I wondered if I should fall into him and trust his confidence in us or if I should maintain enough distance – and doubt – to avoid making an absolute fool of myself.

Despite my uncertainty, m
y eyes were glued to his. I only had a few weeks left with him and didn’t want to miss a thing. Even though I didn’t share his total confidence in “us,” there was something about him that made me comfortable. As strange as it was to say this after just a couple of weeks, Martin felt like home.

I loved the
way that he looked at me, and I also loved his touch on my skin. I reached up to hold his hand and kissed the inside of his wrist. Leaning forward, he kissed my lips gently and, then, my eyelids.

“You
are beautiful, Eva,” he said softly. “I thought that you were beautiful the first time I ever saw you. Even with a cut on your face.”

“I think you need glasses,” I
chided.

Martin
laughed. “No, I don’t need glasses. I just need you.”

As we looked into one another’s eyes, our smiles
faded. I sensed something that I hadn’t felt from him before, something primal. There was an irrepressible desire in his eyes. I felt my body respond in a way that it never had. He sensed it and moved in closer until his lips were on mine. Our kiss exploded, our tongues exploring one another hungrily. I felt my heart race as he reached up and slipped my nightgown over my head and stripped off his clothes.

He
ran his hand down my neck and across my breasts while I reached down to stroke him. Slowly, he slid his leg up so that it was between my legs. Then, his hand traveled down my body until his fingers were inside of me, and I moaned. We continued to kiss as he positioned himself over me. Sliding into me, he thrust himself in deeply, and I felt the full weight of his body on me. I stretched my arms over my head, and he ran his hands over them, interlacing his fingers with mine. I could feel his heart race against my chest. Ravenous for one another, we kissed, and he thrust into me again and again until we both came.

Afterward, Martin wrapped his arms around me. “I love you, Eva. I’ve got you, and I’m not letting go.”

I’d never felt this way with anyone. When I ignored my rational mind, I could honestly say that it felt like we’d always belonged together.