Bonds of Denial (17 page)

He moved his hand in a long stroke before he eased his jeans down his hips and kicked them to the side with his socks. He’d stripped plenty of times for countless men, but he’d never been so turned on by it. This was for him as much as Rock.

His dick bobbed, hard and waiting as he straightened, his eyes meeting Rock’s. The air was cool but it barely registered on his heated skin. Rock wet his lips and swallowed. Then the man shocked him by closing the distance and dropping to his knees. Rock looked up the length of him as he grasped Carter’s hips and licked a long line up his erection.

His gasp was sharp, the sensation perfect. He grabbed Rock’s shoulders, his hands trembling when there was no real reason for it. “You sure?”

Rock had sucked his balls more than once, but this was the first time he’d moved up to Carter’s dick. Not that Carter was complaining, but it was one of the things the man had avoided. He didn’t want Rock to feel pressured into it.

Rock nuzzled a kiss into his stomach. His chin bumped against Carter’s erection and the light stubble nicked the sensitive head. Carter’s groan rumbled through the room as his hips bucked forward. He clenched Rock’s shoulders, unable to look away.

“Yes.” Rock’s answer was muffled against Carter’s stomach.

From above, Carter could catch the pink slip of tongue as it darted in and out of Rock’s mouth, leaving hot, wet trails that cooled when he moved on. The urge to grab Rock’s head and show him where to go was strong, but watching Rock’s enjoyment was better.

Rock looked up, his lashes framing the hint of hesitation. “I’ve never done this.” The open vulnerability in both his voice and expression reached within Carter to squeeze his heart.

He cupped Rock’s cheek, his thumb caressing the soft skin over his beard. “Just do what you like.”

Rock pressed a kiss to Carter’s palm and edged Carter backward until the back of his knees hit the bed and he sat down. Rock wedged himself between Carter’s legs to plunge his tongue deep into Carter’s mouth. Then he was gone.

Rock stood and deliberately undid his jeans. Carter was torn between watching his face and the slow reveal of his cock. Both were enticing for different reasons.

The cocky smirk that lit Rock’s face as he pushed his jeans down had Carter chuckling. He kept his gaze locked on Rock’s and scooted back on the bed until he was braced against the headboard. He spread his legs and stroked himself. “Get up here.”

Rock shucked his underwear and climbed on the bed a second later. The mattress tipped as he crawled up. He kissed the inside of Carter’s ankle, the side of his calf, the curve of his knee before layering a line of kisses up the inside of his thigh and spreading Carter’s legs wider.

“I’ve always been afraid to do this.” Rock buried his nose in the crook of Carter’s thigh and hip. That was another confession Rock didn’t have to make. His openness was in many ways humbling. His trust weighty.

He caressed Rock’s head. “Why?”

Rock didn’t look up as he swirled his tongue around the base of Carter’s cock. “I don’t know why I love this so much.” He rubbed his palm over Carter’s smooth groin area before he cupped and rolled Carter’s balls.

“Sex?” Carter was trying to follow Rock’s conversation, but his brain was working on half the blood flow it normally required.

Rock shook his head, his wonderful beard stubble grazing Carter’s balls this time. Oh, God. He arched his back, not sure if he was trying to get closer or away. The quick shot of pain turned to pleasure almost instantly.

“This smoothness.”

The words were out as he kissed the skin at the base of his cock, then all Carter knew was the hot, wet heat of Rock’s mouth closing around him. The sight of his strong lover taking him in his mouth was amazing. Rock sank down and lifted, adding suction until he reached the top, where he fluttered his tongue over the sensitive spot on the underside.

Blow jobs were common and rarely intimate for him. Anyone could be decent at it, even with minimum skill. Hell, most men didn’t care what one did as long as teeth were minimized and suction used. But Carter was an expert giver, and he had nothing on the open eagerness that Rock applied to him.

“There’s no way this is your first time giving head.” Carter gasped, his fingers digging into Rock’s shoulder when Rock probed the slit on the tip with his tongue.

Rock pulled off and used his hand to continue stroking Carter with a firm grip. His eyes were dark, his lips full and red. “Don’t you know? Almost everything is a first with you.”

He’d guessed that. Rock had probably said it before, but hearing it at that moment was a rush. He yanked the man up and took his mouth in a kiss that emptied him. It was too much to absorb. The words that wanted to tumble out couldn’t, so he poured it all into that kiss.

His body was on fire. His dick was so hard it ached, and that was nothing compared to the ball of emotion clawing to break out around the thundering beat of his heart. He couldn’t let it out though. It was too powerful. Too risky.

No one had ever given him that much trust without yanking it away later.

The panic struck before he could contain it. He pushed Rock away and lunged for the supplies in the nightstand drawer. He popped the lube cap, flipped onto his knees and had his lubricated fingers at his entrance before Rock could say a word. He grunted as he entered himself. He drove his fingers deep and added a third with practiced efficiency.

“What are you doing?”

Carter ignored the concern-mixed confusion in Rock’s voice. His back was to him, yet he
still closed his eyes. He twisted his fingers and bent his head to the mattress, knowing the view would be better. “Getting myself ready,” he grunted out.

Rock grabbed his hand and yanked it away. “Stop.”

“Why?” Carter panted. He tried to pull his hand free, but Rock’s hold was unrelenting. The lube was slick around his hole so he purposely flexed the muscle. Men loved when he did that. “Don’t you want to fuck me?”

“Don’t do that,” Rock ordered, his voice hard. He circled his free arm around Carter’s chest and yanked him up. Carter resisted, but Rock was stronger and had the leverage. He clamped his arms around Carter and held him to his chest. “Don’t bring that in here.” He contracted his arms, squeezing Carter to emphasize his point. “It doesn’t belong with us.”

He sat on Rock’s lap and stared blankly at the wall. Once again he’d thrown his job between them. The regret doused him with shame, but he couldn’t let that show. This was better. Safer.

“What?” he asked, faking stupidity. He tried to control his breathing but it came out in deep pants anyway.

“Really?” Rock shoved him away and sprang off the bed.

Yeah, that felt right
.

Rock stalked away, only to spin around and stomp back to glare down at Carter. “I don’t get you. You claim you’re not ashamed of what you do, yet you turn around and shove it at me like it’s a weapon to scare me away. Why?”

Why? Wasn’t that always the question?

Carter sprawled out on his stomach and folded his arms under his chin. It was both a defensive and seductive pose. He wouldn’t cower, but he knew enough to protect his stomach and groin. The more remote he pretended to be, the more likely Rock would retreat.

Rock looked fierce where he stood seething next to the bed. Carter should be afraid, but there was nothing in him now. There was no emotion anymore. The empty hole was back, protecting him.

“I’m not ashamed of being a…an escort.” He stopped himself from saying whore at the last second. They’d been through that discussion.

“Then why?” Rock crossed his arms over his chest, seemingly unconcerned about his nudity. His erection was long gone, as was Carter’s. “What happened that you suddenly started acting like—” he waved his hand around, “—that?”

Carter lifted his shoulder in an indifferent shrug. “We were having sex.”

“That wasn’t about sex.”

“No?” He raised a brow. “Then what was it about?”

“You tried to turn it into fucking. And we don’t…it’s not…We don’t fuck.”

No. They didn’t. They never had. That was the problem.

He stared at Rock, unable to respond. If he moved, he’d break. His throat stung with bitterness at his weakness. He was so damn tired of fighting everything, but he wouldn’t show that.

“Don’t.” Rock’s statement wasn’t hard or cold, yet there was a solid firmness that matched the look in Rock’s eyes. “Don’t,” he repeated as he kneeled on the bed. He leaned down until his nose was inches from Carter’s. “Don’t.”

There was no need to ask what. Rock was calling him on his stupid stunt to push him away. “Sorry,” he whispered. The real fear invaded then, churning within him until he could barely breathe. “That was shitty of me.”

The mattress wiggled then the long length of Rock was wrapped around him. He stiffened, waiting. Rock only snuggled in closer, wedging a leg between his and circling an arm around his back in a hug that said he wasn’t leaving.

“Yes. It was.” Rock’s breath was warm near his ear, his voice gruff and low. “It won’t work with me.”

“It should.” One day it would, when Rock got what he wanted and walked away. Carter wouldn’t be needed once Rock got the gay thing figured out.

“It won’t. So cut it out.” Rock nudged him around until Carter was lying on his side, facing him. “Come here.” He pulled him in for a kiss filled with tenderness and patience and a bit of something soft that was terrifying to trust.

Rock rolled on top of him, and everything was right again. Carter spread his legs and wrapped his arms around Rock to hold himself there. “I’m sorry,” he whispered around the press of Rock’s lips. “I’m so sorry.” God, he meant it. He didn’t deserve this man.

Rock hummed his response through the kiss before he nibbled his way down Carter’s neck. “Now let me finish what I started.” The heat of his breath bathed Carter’s nipple. He sucked it into his mouth and worked the nub with his teeth. Carter arched closer. He wanted more even when his mind said it was dangerous. But he was past the point of return.

He was in love with Rock.

Not kind of, not maybe. Not even really liked him a lot. There was no way he could deny or ignore the truth. This man had claimed his heart completely. It was so going to suck when Rock left.

His desire returned full force with the need to show Rock how sorry he was, but the man resisted his attempts to pull him up. When the wet heat closed around his dick, he gave up and sunk into the mattress. Two long sucks, and he was fully hard once again. The pleasure swamped him, rising up from his groin to spread through every limb.

Rock hummed, the vibration rumbling over his dick in a wave of sensation. He tried to control himself, but his hips bucked and thrust as if they had a mind of their own. He always had control over himself. Except with Rock. He’d never had control with Rock.

The tight hold on his hips kept him still, which only made him want to move more. “God, Rock,” he said through a moan. He reached down and dragged the edge of his nails up Rock’s back and down his arms. What the man was doing with his mouth was indescribable. But it was more than the action. More than the undeniable pleasure that threatened to explode at any second.

It was the connection that made it the best blow job ever. He honestly didn’t get many, but that wasn’t the point. Rock was giving him something no else did or could. He was giving himself.

The flick of tongue, combined with the hot suction and a sudden squeeze on his balls, had Carter sucking in a breath and counting random numbers to keep from coming. “Stop,” he pleaded, struggling to shove Rock’s shoulders. “I don’t want to come yet. Not without you.”

Rock looked up, the heat simmering in his darkened eyes. He released Carter’s cock but eased a finger down to find another target. The slick slide of Rock entering him was right. There wasn’t any pain, only an aching need for more. It wasn’t enough. The glimmer in Rock’s eyes said he knew that too.

Carter patted around on the bed until he found the condom he’d left there. He was reaching for Rock when a second finger entered him. He froze, unable to do anything but feel. His mouth was open, but no sound came out. The pressure was welcomed, wanted. The gentle in
and out a slow warm-up that had him begging for more.

“Damn it. Please.” He clamped a hand around Rock’s nape and curled up until he could take Rock’s mouth. The kiss wasn’t gentle. There was too much unsaid and too much contained for him to go easy. He cried out at the sharp, gut-clenching shot of bliss when Rock rubbed over his gland.

No
. Fuck, he really didn’t want to come and Rock was going to make him do so soon. He slapped the condom at Rock’s shoulder. “Here. God.” He dropped to the mattress, gasping for air, his skin slick with sweat. “Please.” He’d keep begging until he got his wish.

Rock sat up, tore the package open and had the condom on seconds later. Carter had thought he’d looked fierce before, but it was nothing compared to the dark, stormy gaze he raked over Carter now. His chest expanded with each deep breath, the defined muscles of his pecs straining before they relaxed.

“Roll over.” Rock’s command was accompanied with a slap on Carter’s hip. The smack of skin rang through the room, and Carter complied instantly. He didn’t even think before he was twisting around to his hands and knees.

The pounding of his heart clouded out other sounds, but he didn’t miss Rock’s low rumble of appreciation as he ran his hands up the back of Carter’s legs. He spread his legs wider and gulped in a breath of air when the tip of Rock’s cock nudged his hole.

The trapped air expelled in a rush as Rock lay against his back. Skin to skin, muscle to muscle, gasping breaths in sync as he eased in. The heat seared Carter and he pressed up for more, welcoming the pressure that burned and filled him.

Rock wrapped an arm around his chest, and he automatically reached up to hold it there. He spread his fingers wide, his heart thumping a manic rhythm against Rock’s palm.

“This isn’t fucking.” The gruff words were spoken into his neck as a hand fisted in his hair. “Tell me this isn’t fucking.” Rock held still, his harsh breaths sawing off the effort it took him to wait.