Bonds of Trust (10 page)

“Please, Jake,” she begged, not caring how it made her sound.

“Who can give you want you want?”

“You,” she panted, not even hesitating. “Only you.”

He flicked her clitoris. “Come for me, Cali.”

And God, did she. One long, hard plunge over the edge that sent her sailing to a level of bliss she’d never dreamed of. She let go and rode the wave of pure pleasure that shook her to her core. Her back arched, her eyes clenched shut, the sharp intensity of sensation tensing her muscles as it rippled through every cell in her body.

Seconds, minutes, hours later she became aware of strong hands caressing her wrists and ankles as the bindings were removed. Still, she couldn’t move. She was both exhausted and sated in a way that made her smile but prevented movement. She was content to just lie there.

Incoherent sounds drifted to her. The squeak of the cabinet hinges, the scrape of a chair against the floor, the clump of boots over the wood. Distantly she felt the tenderness in her bottom, the tingling of her nipples, the dampness between her legs. She was able to comprehend then that she was still lying spread open on the bench, even though she was no longer tied down. Some portion of her mind registered that this should embarrass her. That she should move.

But she didn’t want to.

Fingers caressed her hair. Strong, attentive fingers that brushed her temple and curled around her ear. She forced her eyes open.

Jake.

The man who’d turned her world upside down for the second time. The one who did this kind of thing for a living.

The moisture built in her eyes before she even realized what was happening. And then, it was too late to stop. The tears spilled over and ran down her face—silent testament to the range of turmoil bursting in her chest.

His eyes were gentle, concerned as they tracked the tears before he reached to wipe them away. An action that only made more tears spill out. She took a shaky breath and he stroked her hair, the comforting act so gentle and contrary to the man he was just moments before.

Who was he, really? Would she ever know? Did she want to?

It took less than a second for the answer to come. Yes. Against her better judgment, she wanted to know this man. Jake. Not the Dom, but the man who could master her one second and soothe her the next. The man who seemed to know this side of her better than she knew herself. Who could push and lead without smothering her. Any man who could do that was worth knowing.

But her mind put a crashing stop on the wayward thoughts with a dose of reality.

This was just a Scene.

Chapter Thirteen

“Come here, Cali,” Jake said softly as he eased his arms beneath her lethargic body and lifted her off the bench. He cradled her and she curled into him as if she wanted to disappear.

He let her.

His boots echoed through the space when he moved to the armless chair he’d positioned in the middle of the room. He sat down and adjusted Cali until she was straddling his legs, her head tucked against his shoulder. He kept his arms wrapped around her and was mindful of her tender bottom. She’d be sore for a while, as unaccustomed as she was to being spanked.

His fingers smoothed her hair and he found himself whispering soothing words into her ear. He felt a wet spot growing on his shirt where her tears continued to fall. This was normal, he reminded himself. A typical crash for a sub after finding subspace and coming with the intensity Cali had.

Normal.

But he couldn’t seem to find the distance
he
normally had in this instance. Every reaction had wound him in tighter until he’d been so turned on, so tuned into her that any possibility of detachment was obliterated. With her he experienced something besides power. For the first time ever, he felt the intimacy on a level that went deeper than base trust. There was a connection that threatened every emotional wall he’d ever constructed. But with Cali in his arms, in his control, he felt a vague and foreign sense of peace.

He kissed her shoulder, the light hint of salt tempting his tongue. He moved his hand over the damp skin of her back, the other tangling in her hair to hold her closer.

“It’s okay, Cali,” her murmured against her ear. “Let it out.”

Her shoulders shook as she listened to him. He held her until the sobs quieted and her body stilled against his. Her arms were curled under her, crushed between their bodies. He felt her push against his chest.

He tightened his hold. “No.” She stilled. “You don’t get to run this time.”

She inhaled, the skin on his neck tingling against the sharp hiss of her breath. But she remained in his embrace. He continued to caress the heated skin on her back, slow, soothing passes until her muscles relaxed and she sagged against him.

Time passed, but he had no concept of how long they sat like that. Eventually, her heart rate returned to normal, the soft beat thumping against his chest. He reached down next to the chair, pulled a tissue from the box he’d place there and nudged it into her hand.

She took it, a small laugh vibrating against his shoulder. “Thank you.” Her voice was hoarse and throaty from the extended cry. “Did you think of everything?”

“That’s my job.” He didn’t tell her that this, right here, was more than his job.

She leaned back slightly and wiped at her tear-streaked face then blew her nose. She puffed out a laugh. “Not so attractive now, huh?” She wadded the used tissue in her hand and attempted to bury her face into his shoulder.

He didn’t let her hide this time. “Wrong,” he said, holding her away from him. He framed her face and pushed her hair back until he could see her eyes. “You are more beautiful to me now than you have ever been.”

She looked down, obviously not believing what he said. Her face was blotchy, her eyes puffy and red, her makeup smeared, but that’s not what he focused on. What drew him to her. It was her complete and total trust and submission that knocked his knees out from under him.

“Look at me.”

She complied instantly, her eyelids lifting a half second after he spoke.
Beautiful
. He caressed her jawline as he took in the swirl of emotions held in her eyes. Fear, confusion, desire and there—trust.

“You were fantastic,” he reassured her. “You gave me your trust. That’s beyond gorgeous to me.”

She sniffed and her fists clenched against his chest, but she held his gaze. Did she believe him? Did she really understand how her submission affected him?

For the first time ever, he wanted a sub—Cali—to understand.

“You gave yourself to me. Trusted me to lead you. To give you what you needed, even when you didn’t know what that was.” He took a low breath to steady himself. “Watching you find your space, to reach that place where pain and pleasure blend until that’s all there is... Seeing you give in to the feeling and knowing I brought you there. The moment you flew, I followed.”

The words didn’t seem enough. Didn’t seem adequate in explaining what he felt. But her mouth parted and she lifted trembling fingers to brush over his lips. She searched his eyes, hunting, he was certain, for the truth of his words.

“Why
do
I trust you?”

The question was rhetorical, an internal thought that slipped out. He stayed quiet and let her ponder, focusing on the light rub of her fingers over his lower lip. On how the touch both tickled and enticed him and oddly drew his attention to her lips. He suddenly wanted nothing more than to suck her fingers into his mouth.

Before he could act, she withdrew them.

His gaze flashed back to hers, but he only caught a glimpse before her mouth covered his. The kiss was hot and searching. Need poured from her and he met it with every thrust of her tongue. Her hands fisted in his hair and pulled until the pain made him flinch, but he let her.

He responded to her aggression with instant arousal. His dick throbbed beneath his pants, hard and aching for release. In her.

Cali wasn’t just a client.

In truth, she hadn’t been since he first heard his name roll off her lips. Not sir, but Jake. Spoken in deference and passion. And she’d done it without thought or calculation. The honesty of it had echoed through him and struck at the facade he held to. The same barrier that was pushing him to leave. To move on.

She was the only one in all his years in the BDSM world who had ever used his name during a Scene. For the first time ever, this was personal.

Cali rotated her hips and ground against this erection. He bit his tongue and resisted cupping her ass. A fraction of his mind was still able to remember her flesh would be too sore for his grip. Instead, he clenched her hips and held her down as he thrust upward.

It wasn’t enough. “Touch me,” he gritted out.

Instantly her hands were at his waist, undoing his pants and reaching inside before he could halt her. Not that he wanted to. Her fingers closed around his cock and stroked. One hard tug up and down his length, and he almost lost it.

What the fuck?

Gasping a breath, he leaned forward and devoured her nipple, the sweet bud hard and silky beneath his tongue. She cried out under his attack, the nub obviously still tender and sensitive from the clamps. He eased his attention with a haggard breath and shifted to the other nipple.

She resumed her caress of his cock. Each stroke slow, but firm, almost like she was exploring his body by touch. But then, she was. It was the first time he’d allowed her to touch him. Her thumb smoothed over the sensitive top, stopping to probe the opening and collect the spilled pre-come. He arched his hips, thrusting his cock into her fist. He grunted his need against the damp flesh of her breast.

He moved his mouth to the juncture of her neck and bit down on the tender flesh. She flinched then tilted her head, giving him more room. He used his teeth to hold her in place as he lifted his hips and worked his pants down his legs. She continued to rub his cock, her movements increasing with the freedom from his pants.

“Jake,” she panted, her warm breath caressing his ear. “I need you.”

He let go of her shoulder and reclaimed her mouth, if only to stop himself from agreeing with her. He needed her.

Blindly, he tore open the condom packet he’d snagged from his pocket. He started to roll it on, but she pulled back to push away his hands and slowly rolled the rubber over his cock herself. Even that basic safety precaution became erotic under her exploring hands.

He groaned, his body an inferno that was unbearably close to igniting. He moved his hand between her legs, seeking her core. She was wet, hot and ready for him. He circled her clit and she pushed into his touch with a moan. He let his fingers entered her, hard strokes of preparation she didn’t need.

“Please, Jake. I’m going to come.”

“No, Cali.” He knocked her hand from his cock and positioned himself at her entrance. “Not ’til I say.” The words tore from his throat as he struggled to hold himself back. He fisted her hair and forced her to look at him. Her eyelids hung heavy over eyes that had turned a deep emerald green. Her lips were parted and her chest lifted with each breath.
So fucking beautiful.

“You’re mine.” He held her gaze, forcing her to understand. “When you’re here, you’re mine.” Her eyes drifted closed, but a hard tug on her hair had them open once again. “Tell me you understand.”

She wiggled her hips, seeking what he withheld from her, her wetness coating his hand as he held his cock firm.

“Please, Jake,” she begged.

He bit his tongue in an effort to stay in control. “No, Cali. Not until you agree.”

“To what?” Her words stroked across his cheek in complete innocence.

“If we finish this, you’re my sub.”

She stilled.

“You will obey only me. No other Dom will touch you without my permission.”

Uncertainty flashed in her eyes and he felt her retreating.

Fuck, no.

“Trust me.” He rubbed the tip of his cock along the hot opening of her pussy. She gasped and tipped her head until her forehead pressed against his. Her breath brushed his face in quick, deep gusts. He knew he was pushing her, but he couldn’t let her go.

“Trust me,” he whispered against her lips. “You belong to me.” He tensed, waiting for her answer. Never had one word been so important in his life.

But then, he had never wanted anyone as badly as he wanted her.

Chapter Fourteen

“Yes.”

The simple word slipped from her lips almost without her permission. She whimpered as the logical side of her battled against her need to comply. To give him everything he wanted.

“Look at me and say it again.” Jake pulled on her hair, forcing her head back until she could look in his eyes once again. “Tell me now.”

His gaze drilled her, the gray depths darkened to a burnt ash and flashing just as hot. Moisture beaded his forehead, creases marring the smooth span, denoting his tension as he waited for her. He was everything she should run from.

He was everything she craved.

It was just sex, right? This was just about sex. He’d said ‘here.’ As in, the club. She could agree to that. There was no harm in that, right? No one would ever find out.

“Yes, Jake,” she finally said. “I’m your sub.”

He released a long, guttural groan and shoved into her in one hard plunge. She bowed her back, his thick, rigid cock filling her. She clenched around the intrusion, even as he started to move. He gripped her hips and pushed into her in strong, demanding pumps.

She rode him, clutching his flexing shoulders until her nails bit into the muscles. She stretched her toes, finding leverage from the floor to make each stroke longer, deeper. The sound of skin slapping was at once obscene and intimate and blended with the non-verbal noises they were both making. He pulled her closer, forcing her nipples to rub against his chest. The tender tips screamed in shock with each brush against his shirt, the sharp pricks of pain bringing her to the edge. Sweat streaked down the side of her face, their movements becoming disjointed and frantic in their race to the end.

“Please, Jake,” she remembered to ask. “I need to come.”

He made a rough, harsh sound that was close to a possessive growl. He thrust again, harder and deeper as he ground his hips into her. He grabbed her hair and watched her. “Come for me, Cali.”

The sheer intensity of the moment exploded within her. She cried out, completely gone as the storm crashed around them. He made one last, deep drive that lifted her feet from the ground. Then his arms were around her, his mouth at her neck, and she was lost to everything but the pleasure consuming her.

She came back to her senses in a series of short realizations—she was exhausted, she needed a shower, she was wrapped in Jake’s arms. His breath was warm against her neck and he smelled of man and sex. But most prominently, she felt protected and cherished.

Her eyes flew open at that thought. The truth of it shocked her. She had never expected that to be one of the emotions that would come with entering a BDSM club. If anything, she had expected the opposite.

Both times now, she’d felt more cherished and cared for than she had in many years. She blinked rapidly, refusing to give in to the damn tears again. One big cry a night was more than enough.

His fingers combed through her hair and she shivered. Goose bumps formed up her arms and back, despite the inferno of heat simmering inside her.

“Cold?” Jake’s voice vibrated against her ear as it tumbled through his chest.

“Not really,” she answered. She let her hand run up his chest to rub across the hard plain of his pecs.

He cursed, a low, sharp bite she probably wasn’t supposed to hear.

“What?” She tensed and tried to push back to see his face.

He tightened his arms and held her firmly against him. “No bed,” he said with a half chuckle.

She relaxed and resumed her exploration of his chest, the relief rushing through her. That was all. For a second she’d feared he’d changed his mind. Or had regrets. Did she?

“Do you have other subs?” she asked, the question shocking her even as she spoke.

His muscles constricted under her fingers, his hands stilling on her back. Nerves once again claimed her as she realized how important his answer was to her. Maybe she didn’t have a right to ask the question. She didn’t know the protocol, but she knew she didn’t want to share.

“No,” he finally said. “You are my only sub.” But the connection that had felt so tight and intimate moments ago was suddenly gone.

She sat up, peering into his eyes. “What am I missing?”

He stared at her, his lips thinning in contemplation. He palmed the back of her neck in a move that smacked of possessiveness. One she should reject but found she couldn’t. “I’ll notify my clients that our contracts are terminated.”

She pushed back the sense that there was something important she was missing, but she couldn’t place what it was.

He pulled her closer until his lips were just a breath away. “This is an exclusive arrangement.”

A flush of pure excitement warmed her at the finality in his voice. He belonged to her too. She swallowed, the heat of his lips so temptingly close to hers. “Okay.”

His kiss was full of promise and commitment. For her it was acceptance. The sealer on a deal made in the height of passion, but it felt completely right. It was a deal she never would have made at any other time. She knew that to the depths of her repressed soul.

It was the other her who had agreed to his demands. The other her who was aggressively kicking back all of the nagging doubts and recriminations the real her was shoving forward.

He drew back, disengaged himself and lifted her off his lap. The floor was cold beneath her feet, a fact she hadn’t noticed before. She wrapped her arms around herself and watched as he grabbed some tissues and used them to remove the condom and clean up.

She chuckled. “More than one reason for the tissues, then?”

He caught her eye and grinned. “Never know when you’ll need them.”

“Kind of like the condom?”

“Hell, the condom is standard dress code.” He stood and pulled up his pants in one motion. He glanced at her, intent and serious as he finished dressing. “You should know that. Safety is mandatory here.”

She studied the floor, embarrassed at her misstep. “Of course it is. I never thought otherwise.”

He lifted her chin, forcing her look at him. “I’d like you to come with me.”

“I thought I already did.” She couldn’t resist the comeback, but the smirk left her face when she saw that he wasn’t laughing with her. Everything, from his eyes to his voice to his stance, spoke of how serious the statement was to him.

Was this her first test? More importantly, did she trust him enough to follow without question? She’d trusted him with her body, but this was something very different and felt much more significant.

Could she do it? Could she not?