Boo Hiss (32 page)

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Authors: Rene Gutteridge

BOOK: Boo Hiss
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Lois stood in the wings, waiting for her cue. She felt like she was flying. It had been years since she’d been onstage, and she was still owning the audience. They hung on her every word, noticed every time she touched Bart or Gibb, and cried when she cried. At least a few did. There was a certain energy in the room that made the impending climax that much more spectacular. The crowd was holding its breath, waiting to see which man Lotus would choose.

This was what she’d been waiting for, what every actress strives for. That one scene that would define her for the rest of her acting career. The lights were slowly coming on, and a tingling sensation rushed through her. Thankfully, it sounded like Mariée had been shut up again. Lois had to send Wolfe back there a third time to get her to stop wailing. It was breaking everyone’s concentration. She drew in a deep breath and
reached down to grab her prop, the suitcase. But strangely, there were two suitcases. One was right next to her, and the other off to the left, hidden a little. Why two? Had the first one broken, and someone brought in a replacement at the last minute?

The lights were almost completely up. She rushed to get the second one. It was fancier anyway, with adorable buckles instead of a zipper. Wolfe was coming around the corner just as she walked on, and he thought she heard him yelp, but she had to ignore it. She was already onstage. Maybe he’d stubbed his toe. This suitcase was awfully heavy for a prop. Had someone put a brick in there?

She watched Sheriff Parker stroll across the stage toward her. There was a certain pain in his eyes. It looked a little too real. But that was the price he paid for double-crossing this woman. Humiliation in the form of a good theatrical slap.

“Lotus, you’re leaving? Why now? I thought we loved each other. I thought we were meant to be
.”


We aren’t meant to be, Bart. Than what I’ve been trying to tell you. I’m going to marry Gibb.”
The gasp from the audience nearly caused a breeze. She stared hard at Bart, and at this point Bart was supposed to skulk offstage like a whipped puppy. But there was no skulking. Bart wasn’t moving. Why wasn’t Bart moving?

She looked across to stage left, and Martin was preparing to enter as Gibb. He looked a little confused, since Bart wasn’t going anywhere. The crowd was quiet.

“Did you hear me
, Bart?
We aren’t meant for each other. I’m going to marry
Gibb. “She went ahead and dropped the suitcase since it was so heavy anyway and she always made good use of her props. It fell to the ground with a dramatic thud, then tipped over. Bart still didn’t budge.

Apparently not knowing what else to do, Martin decided to walk on. Lois ran into his arms, and Martin swung her around just like they’d
practiced.
“I love you!”
he added. That wasn’t in the script, but she went for it.

“I love you too, Gibb”
She glanced behind her and Bart wasn’t offstage yet. The lights were about to fade on them and come up on Wolfe, who was moving into place.

But suddenly the sheriff said, “No, you don’t.”

Lois dropped from Martin and turned. “Yes, I do.”

“No you don’t. You don’t love him and you know it. You’re just getting back at me. But your true love is Bart. Me. You love me.”

Lois didn’t have to act. She was so stunned she did the unthinkable and looked out at the audience. They looked to be anticipating the next line as eagerly as she was. What was she supposed to say?

Bart … the sheriff … whoever … walked toward her and took her hands. “I love you. And you know how I know that? Because I haven’t felt like this in years. You make me feel alive again. My whole life used to revolve around my job and my cat and my family. My cat got hitched, my daughter got hitched, and my job is my job. But you are the one thing that can make my heart feel young again. Let me take care of you. Let me love you for the rest of our lives.”

The crowd came alive with satisfactory murmurs. Lois didn’t know what to say. Was he talking to Lotus? Or her? Or both? She looked into his eyes, and something told her that they weren’t onstage anymore. This was real life.

“Not so fast!” From behind her, Martin shoved his way between them. “You can’t just come in here and expect her to fall for you just like that. I’m the one who has won her heart, not you. You heard her. She’s going to marry me!”

“Not without a fight,” Sheriff Parker said.

“I’m not scared of you. Bring it on.”

Before Lois could even motion for the lights to go down, the two
men were brawling right there onstage. The audience was cheering and clapping and thoroughly enjoying themselves. She looked back at the men who were wrestling and stumbling all over the stage. With one hefty push, the sheriff shoved Martin backward, and he fell over the suitcase in the middle of the stage, causing both buckles to pop open.

Lois stepped a few feet to the side, realizing at some point she was going to have to come up with a clever line, because Wolfe looked like he’d been zapped with a stun gun. With the men still wrestling, Lois decided to address the audience. She wasn’t exactly sure what she was going to say, but maybe some witty remark about middle-aged men and their wrestling abilities would get everything back into focus.

She opened her mouth, but what came out was a scream. She shut her mouth quickly, but the scream kept going. And then another scream. It was the audience. People were screaming. She turned and realized why. She started screaming too.

“Snake! It’s the snake!
Snake!”
Panicked voices were announcing the obvious fact that the two-headed snake was slowly emerging from the suitcase. Lois could only think of one thing. A two-headed snake was stealing her show.

The adage was right: never act with animals or kids. They’ll always upstage you. Well, she wasn’t going to be upstaged without a fight.

But before she could do anything about it, a man from the fourth row bounded up onto the stage and, with one swift motion, snatched the gun out of the sheriff’s holster, then grabbed Lois and turned her to the audience. Lois wanted to shriek, but the man said, “Shut up and you’ll be fine.”

He then addressed the audience. “Listen up. I just want one thing, and if I get it, nobody gets hurt. See that snake? I leave with that snake safely in my possession, and nobody gets hurt. But one wrong move, and this lady isn’t going to make it to see Bart or Gibb. Got it?”

Lois watched the crowd cling to one another, their eyes wide with fright. She could hardly breathe.

“Now, I’m going to take this snake and move slowly out of the theater, and as soon as I feel safe, I’ll let the lady go. But if anybody makes one wrong move, you’re going to regret it.”

The man started to bend down, but out of the corner of her eye, Lois saw something move and tackle him, causing Lois to fly forward and land on her stomach. She rolled over to find the sheriff flipping the man over and cuffing his arms behind his back. And then, just as quickly, he turned to the snake, which was hissing from each mouth, grabbed it just behind its necks, and stuffed it back into the suitcase. He quickly buckled it closed.

Then the sheriff rushed over to her and scooped her off the ground, which was no easy task. “Are you okay?”

She nodded and touched his face. He was bleeding just above the brow. “You saved me.”

“I would do anything for you. Just give me a chance.”

She leaned forward and kissed him on the lips. “I’ll give you a chance.”

Suddenly the crowd erupted in applause. People were on their feet, clapping as loudly as they could, wiping tears from their eyes. Lois looked over to Wolfe, who had the end line for the entire play. But to her surprise, he was lying unconscious on the floor.

“Oh no! Is he okay?” Lois gasped.

“He passes out at the sight of blood.” The sheriff set her down and took a step back. “Take a bow. You deserve it.”

And so Lois stepped to the front of the stage. She stretched out her arms like an eagle about to soar. Below her she could hear people saying to one another, “What an ending!”

“I never saw that coming!”

“How clever to use the snake!”

Lois bent forward, swept her arms in front of her until they dangled to the floor, then lifted herself up and smiled broadly at her new fans.

Throwing kisses to them, she said, “Good night! And God bless!”

C
HAPTER
30

“S
MELLS GOOD. IS
there anything I can do to help?” Wolfe asked, joining Ainsley in the kitchen at her dad’s house.

“It’s almost ready. But I do have a favor to ask of you.”

“What’s that?”

“Can you go up in the attic? There’s a box in the corner, and it has something special I want to use for the Thanksgiving dinner.”

“Sure. Where is it again?”

“Just go up in the attic, and it’s in the corner by the window. You can’t miss it.”

“Okay.” Wolfe went out to the garage and pulled down the ladder. He climbed up. The attic was stacked with boxes and memorabilia all over the place. He wasn’t even sure he could get to the corner. Luckily, due to the window, the room was well lit.

Trying to make his way through it all, he accidentally stumbled and knocked over a box. Papers and photographs spilled everywhere.

Wolfe groaned as he knelt to try to pick it all up. But as he did, he noticed something peculiar. These didn’t look like normal photographs. And in fact, as he looked closer, he realized they were combat photos. And the papers looked like official government documents. He flipped through them and saw Butch’s name, as well as his picture among other soldiers.

“What are you doing?”

Wolfe looked up to find Butch coming up through the attic door.
“I-I’m sorry, Butch. I thought you were at the station. I accidentally knocked over this box. It belongs to you. I was just gathering it all up to put it away.”

Butch walked over to him and looked down at the box. “I don’t keep super classified stuff here. Just some good memories.” Butch knelt beside him and picked up one of the pictures. “What a story this was.”

Wolfe stared down at the obvious evidence of Butch’s past, shame sweeping through his heart. “Butch … I want to say I’m sorry. It’s hard for me to admit, but I doubted you. I doubted this. I thought you were making it all up.”

Butch smiled. “It’s pretty unbelievable. Some of the things I’ve gone through are downright scary They’d make some great stories if I could tell someone.”

Wolfe stood up, holding two photos in his hand. “What if the stories happened to be fiction?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, they’re changed up a bit. It’s a real story, real people, disguised in a fictitious setting.”

Butch knelt down and stared into the box. “Cleverly disguised.”

“I could bring these stories alive, Butch. Everything you’ve been through.”

“Some of them may sound far-fetched, but it’s all really just about being human and surviving what seems impossible through the grace of God.”

“And maybe half the battle is at home, where you can’t tell anyone what your life is really like.” Wolfe paused. “I’d be honored to be your storyteller.”

The two men embraced and patted each other on the back.

“Why don’t we talk after Thanksgiving dinner?” Butch asked.

“Good idea. Besides, I was supposed to be fetching some box for Ainsley. She said it’s in the corner.”

“I can help.”

They walked through the crowded attic and found the corner by the window, but Wolfe didn’t see a box.

“All that’s here is a baby cradle,” Wolfe said. “What box is she talking about?”

“This was Ainsley’s cradle. I can’t believe Dad has kept it all these years. Hey, there’s a note in here. Has your name on it.” Butch handed it to him, and Wolfe opened it up. It read,
Congratulations. You’re going to be a dad
.

Martin waited by his front window, gazing out at the fall leaves, waiting for the mayor. He’d intended to spend Thanksgiving alone. After last night, he didn’t want to be around anybody. It was an embarrassing moment when Lois and Martin figured out that apparently Lois had been sleepwalking when she agreed to marry him. He’d sat down with the sheriff and Lois after the play. Being the person of integrity that he was, Irwin apologized for hitting him, and told him how important their friendship was to him.

It had eased the pain a little. Lois assured him he’d been a strong contender. But when all was said and done, there was only one heavyweight standing.

Martin sighed. It had been so out of character for him to fall in love in the first place. And now he had good reason to keep it from happening again.

The mayor had insisted they accept the sheriffs invitation for Thanksgiving dinner. He wouldn’t take no for an answer and had hung up the phone with, “I’ll be there in five minutes.”

Fine. But Martin was going to have to be brutally honest with the mayor. It was time somebody gave that man some relaxation techniques, or maybe a Valium. He was beginning to realize the mayor didn’t have the capabilities to handle anything out of the ordinary, and in Martin’s opinion, the town had suffered for it.

The mayor honked his horn as he pulled into the driveway and screeched to a stop. Martin pulled his scarf around his neck, buttoned his coat, and headed toward the door. The mayor honked again.

“Coming,” Martin mumbled. He locked his front door and got into the car. “Good morning, sir.”

The mayor growled. “Not so much. The coffeehouse is closed.”

“Yes sir. It’s Thanksgiving.”

“Well it’s rude. They get you addicted, then cut you off. Maybe we should drive to the next county, see what’s available.”

Martin hadn’t realized the mayor was such a fan. “Ainsley will have coffee going, I’m sure, sir.”

“It’s not the same!”

“As what?”

“Look, I know it sounds strange, but if I don’t have my double espresso with a shot of Irish Cream, I go insane.”

Espresso?
Double espresso?
That’s what the mayor had been drinking all these weeks? Martin laughed out loud, and the mayor shot him a look. That was it! No wonder he was shaking like a leaf all the time!”

“I don’t know what’s so special about it, but I can’t start my morning without it.”

Martin started laughing so hard he couldn’t stop. The mayor tried
to smile but was left out of what was so humorous. They arrived at the sheriff’s house.

“Are you okay?” the mayor asked.

Martin settled down, wiping the tears from his eyes. “Yes sir. I’m fine. It’s just that some things aren’t what they seem.” They got out of the car and walked inside.

“Martin,” the sheriff said, greeting him with a hug. “I’m so glad you came. And you, too, Mayor Wullisworth.”

“Thanks for having me,” Martin said. “Hello, Lois.”

She smiled. “Hi Martin. I’m happy to be spending Thanksgiving with you.”

The sheriff said, “Why don’t we all gather around the table?”

Everyone took their seats, including Wolfe, Ainsley, the reverend, Oliver, and Melb. Butch walked in.

“You’re back already? What they’d say?” the sheriff asked. “He ‘fess up yet?”

“Told us everything,” Butch said. “He didn’t want to spend another night in jail, especially on Thanksgiving. He admitted to breaking into the house.”

“I don’t understand. What was his motivation for all this?” Ainsley asked.

“Apparently anger,” the sheriff replied. “I guess Dustin had outbid him on the Internet and was boasting about it in some chat room for snake lovers. When he let everyone know the snake was loose, Tarffeski decided this was his chance to get back what he thought was rightfully his.”

“Is he really from New Zealand?”

“No. Admitted he learned the accent at some Web site called cool foreignaccents.com. He’s been trying it on women for years and decided it might be useful for picking up snakes, too.”

“Neither successfully,” Butch laughed. “By the way, we can all feel safer now. The guy’s got a pretty lengthy record and is wanted for holding up a convenience store.”

“So what’s Dustin going to do with the snake, now that he knows how much it’s worth?” Wolfe asked.

“He’s not selling it. He says he wouldn’t sell them for a million bucks. But the pet store did donate a large tank for them, and the owner is giving Dustin some more accurate feeding tips. Also heard that a few zoos are interested in coming out and taking some pictures of our newest star.”

“Dad, that was a brave thing you did. Who knew what could’ve happened had you not intervened,” Ainsley said.

“Well first of all, it was a prop gun, so I knew it wasn’t loaded. He didn’t know that, but then again, if he’d grabbed my real gun, that wouldn’t have been loaded either!”

Everyone laughed, and the sheriff took his seat at the head of the table. Everyone sat down. “Well, it’s hard to believe, but a year ago this young man we now know as Ainsley’s husband was just getting to know the family at Thanksgiving dinner. So much has changed since then. My only daughter has found true love. Melb and Oliver have found each other as well. Even Thief has managed to settle down. Butch, there’s always next Thanksgiving.” Everyone laughed.

“I’ve got my eye on Tammi from the restaurant.”

The sheriff looked around the table. “I don’t think any of us could’ve predicted where our lives would be.” He grabbed Lois’s hand. “Could anyone imagine that I would’ve found such a unique and lovely woman that I hope to share this house with someday? Especially now that we’ve cleared things up about the fact that there was no other woman.”

The sheriff glanced at Butch, who threw up his hands and grinned.
“What? It took some getting used to. But I know Mom would want you to be happy, Dad. You have my blessing.”

“We have many blessings. This family. Our friends. This town. Two new babies on the way. None of us knew what the future held a year ago. In fact, things looked a little grim last Thanksgiving. Wolfe had been kicked out in the snow and nearly died. Thief looked to have been poisoned. But isn’t that where our hope is? In the idea that life will get better with God by our side?”

Everyone nodded.

“In the tradition of this holiday, would anyone like to name something they are thankful for?” The mayor stood. “I would.”

“Go ahead.”

“We’ve seen a lot of changes in this town over the years, some subtle, some not so subtle. I have loved this town with all my heart, and given her everything I had. I am thankful for it all. But it’s time for me to step down.”

Everyone looked at one another. Martin couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“And I am naming Martin as interim mayor, until the election. But I’ve done some polling, and Martin, you’re guaranteed to be voted in. This town loves you. And I can’t think of anyone more capable of leading Skary, Indiana, into the next phase of her life.”

Martin felt himself choking up. Tears formed in his eyes.

The sheriff said, “Martin, please, stand and say something!”

Everyone around the table urged him, and he slowly stood. The mayor nodded at him the way a father gives a son his blessing.

The mayor said, “You’ve inherited a town that is divided. It won’t be an easy task.”

“Yes sir. With division comes a host of problems. This town can become like a two-headed snake, each head wanting to go a separate direction and therefore hardly able to go one right way. A snake like that can’t even defend itself against the smallest of predators. But if both heads learn to work together to accomplish a common goal, then the chances of one head swallowing the other are diminished quite drastically.”

Maybe that was too graphic an illustration for the dinner table.

“Anyway, the fact of the matter is that what makes a small town isn’t the things but the people. Our small-town values can remain no matter what comes our way. But it’s up to you all. We must work together to keep Skary, Indiana, a town never to be forgotten!”

Hearty applause followed, and everyone at the table stood and cheered. Martin couldn’t hold back a smile. And he knew one thing for certain: he, too, had found the love of his life.

Martin said, “Let’s give God thanks for the chance to be part of this delightful journey. And may there be many more journeys to come.”

The sheriff held up his glass and said, “To Skary, Indiana. May she always bring us love, peace, and laughter.”

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