Booked (15 page)
Authors: Kwame Alexander
But watch out when he shoots
or you'll get SCHOOLed
  FOOLed
UNCOOLed
'Cause when FILTHY gets hot
He has a
SLAMMERIFIC SHOT
It's
Dunkalicious CLASSY
Supersonic SASSY
and   D
O
W
N right
in your face
mc
NASTY
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K
WAME
A
LEXANDER
is a
New York Times
best-selling author and poet. He's written many books for both adults and children, including his Newbery Awardâwinning novel
The Crossover
. His Book-in-a-Day writing and publishing program has created thousands of student authors all over the world. He lives with his family in Virginia.
*
verbomania
[vurb-oh-mey-nee-uh]
noun: a crazed obsession for words.
Every freakin' day I have to read his “dictionary,” which has freakin' FOOTNOTES. That's absurd to me. Kinda like ordering a glass of chocolate milk, then asking for chocolate syrup on the side. Seriously, who does that? SMH!
*
malapropism
[mal-uh-prop-iz-uhm]
noun: the amusing and ludicrous misuse of a word, especially by confusion with one of a similar sound.
Here's an example: my English teacher, Ms. Hardwick, is a wolf in
cheap
clothing.
*
pugilism
[pyoo-juh-liz-uhm]
noun: the art of fighting with your fists; boxing.
Like the time they boxed each other and Don ruptured Dean's eyeball, which is why he wears a patch.
*
futsal
[foot-saul]
noun: indoor soccer played with five players on each side.
We have our last futsal tournament this week, then travel soccer club revs up.
*
cachinnate
[kak-uh-nayt]
verb: to laugh loudly.
In
Huck Finn,
Mark Twain misused the words “orgies” for “obsequies” (which means “ceremonies”), and “jest” for “just” (which means, uh, “just”). Get it? Yeah, me either, but Hardwick apparently did, 'cause we can still hear her
cachinnating,
so I guess my job's done. Nick Hall, SCORE!
*
mewling
[myool-eeng]
verb: to cry weakly; whimper.
I wasn't.
*
ragabash
[rag-a-bash]
noun: worthless, rubbish.
The book has a lot of bad grammar, and my dad says it got banned when he was in school because it was racist. So yeah,
ragabash.
*
codswallop
[cod-swah-lup]
noun: something utterly senseless; nonsense.
I actually like this word, but not when he says it.
*
logorrhea
[log-uh-ree-uh]
noun: an excessive use of words.
If I had a million dollars, I'd invest all of my money to cure this disease.
*
flummoxed
[fluhm-uhkst]
verb: to bewilder or confuse.
Why is Hardwick smiling?
*
onomatophobia
[on-uh-maht-uh-foh-bee-uh]
noun: fear of hearing a certain word.
DEAD!!!!!
*
farrow
[fair-oh]
noun: a litter of pigs.
No way was I telling her that she's a pig.
*
sweven
[sweh-vuhn]
noun: a dream or vision in your sleep.
This just may be the coolest-sounding (
sweven
) word you've ever (
sweven
) read.
*
nutmeg
[nuht-meg]
noun: a soccer trick in which the ball is dribbled between the defender's legs.
Imagine a ball of sun sneaking through the clouds. Lionel Messi is so good he could probably
nutmeg a mermaid
. Now that's hot.
*
rapprochement
[rap-rohsh-mahn]
noun: a reestablishment of harmonious relations.
Are they getting back together?
*
stupefy
[stoo-puh-fiy]
verb: to stun or overwhelm with amazement.
I sure hope this isn't a
sweven.
*
twain
[twayn]
adjective: two.
This dance was supposed to be a two-step, not a freakin' flash mob.
*
callipygous
[kal-
uh
-pij-ee-gus]Â
adjective: having a beautiful backside.
A nice rumpelstiltskin. LOL!
*
incompossible
[in-kuhm-pos-uh-buhl]
adjective: incapable of coexisting, of being together.
It's official: eighth grade SUCKS!
*
hellkite
[hel-kiyt]
noun: an extremely cruel person.
Coby says they posted a pic of my bike and a bunch of other stuff they took from kids.
*
gadfly
[gad-fly]
noun: an annoying person.
In the dictionary, there's a pic of Winnifred next to this word.
*
wordbound
[wurd-bound]
adjective: unable to find expression in words.
Kinda ironic, right?
*
yobbery
[yob-uh-ree]
noun: hooliganism.
He's still weird, but my dad's got a little swag.
*
zazzy
[zaz-ee]
adjective: stylish or flashy.
