Books by Maggie Shayne (17 page)

She stuffed the journal inside her coat as she raced onward. Tires spun in snow as the approaching vehicle. sought traction, then lurched, then spun, then lurched, making its way ever closer.

She swung onto the snowmobile, almost shouting in triumph when it started on the first try. Gunning it, she shot easily over the snow.

And when she reached the spot where Torch and Scorpion still wrestled for the gun, she jerked the handlebars and hit the brake, skidding around sideways. She screamed his name.

And she wasn't even sure he heard her. Then he landed a blow to Scorpion's chin, and Scorpion's head snapped backward. Instead of proceeding with the main event, Torch shoved himself to his feet, gave one leap and landed squarely behind her on the seat. One of his arms wrapped around her waist, and his body bowed over hers, pushing her forward and down so she couldn't even see through the windshield.

Then his other hand closed over hers on the throtfie, and they shot off into the forest with bullets zing' rag after them.

He was frozen half to death by the time they reached the town. Not that it mattered, in the overall scheme of things, that he was shivering and his t~eth were chattering. That was nothing compared to what would happen if those idiots in the four-by-four caught up to them.

Fortunately, by the time they got that oversize beast turned around and back down the mountain, he and Alex would be long gone.

He and Alex. He'd thought they'd be going their separate ways. That he'd remain behind to await Scorpion. But the bastard had shown up early and ruined his plans. And Torch found himself ridiculously glad.

He pulled the machine around behind the general store and killed the engine. And only then did it occur to him to ask.

"Alex, where's the journal?"

She patted the front of her coat.

"Right here. Don't worry."

 
As she said it, she turned to look at him over her shoulder, and he had to battle the urge to kiss her. And then he asked himself why he had to battle it, and he kissed her anyway.

It was brief. His lips caught hers, drew on them for a moment. He wanted more, but. He cleared his throat.

"There's a car out front."

"And we're going to steal it," she said, sounding less than pleased but sort of resigned.

Borrow it. Come on. " He got off the sled, took her hand and together they ran around the building. Torch glanced in through the driver's side window, and smiled when he saw the keys dangling from the switch.

"Palamaro catches a break," he muttered, like some sportscaster calling a game. He nodded to Alex and she went to the other side.

When he jerked his door open, she did the same. They landed simultaneously in the front seat, and when the two doors slammed there was only one bang. By the time the old man who owned the station wagon was on the porch shaking his fist, they were rounding the first bend in the road, out of sight.

And as they got' farther away and safety seemed almost within reach, Torch knew he wanted Io say something or do something to let Alex know.

know . something, But what?

That he wanted her to stick around, maybe. Yeah, that he wanted her to stick with him a little longer. Long enough so he could figure out just what this. :. this something was going to turn out to be.

He opened him mouth to try to vocalize that, and he'd already said her name before he realized how utterly stupid it would sound.

He realized something else, too. This wasn't over. And he had no business even thinking about involving Alex in his future--if, indeed, that was where this train of thought was leading--until he knew he had one. The formula wasn't delivered yet. Beyond that, Scorpion was still breathing. Until Torch killed the bastard, there was no reason to think about anything else. Because he might very well die trying. And that wouldn't be fair to Alex.

She was looking at him, waiting for him to finish what he'd started to say. Those big dark eyes of hers drawing the heart right out of his body and into her own. She made love to his soul when she looked at him like that. How did she do that?

Torch cleared his throat.

"You were fantastic back there. Saved our butts once again."

"I was mad. Too mad to be scared, I guess."

"You were smart. And yeah, mad as well. Too mad to take time' to question your own judgment. You trusted your instincts. You ever notice how every time you do that, your instincts turn out to be right on target?"

She smiled at him, and Iris heart stopped. 'Yeah. I have, actually. "

He held her gaze, searching her eyes and seeing something in them he hadn't seen more than a hint of before. Pride. Self-confidence.

Awareness of her own strength.

It was with a little regret that he jerked his attention back to the road ahead. He liked seeing thos things in her beautiful eyes. It made them even prettier. Nodding slowly, he said, "It's about time."

A hotel room. Cold, impersonal and steriIe. It wash where he'd wahted to bring her. Everything in him, eve cell in his body, it seemed, jo'med together in an insistel chorus of whispers, urging him to take her home. Home, the houseboat 'bobbing serenely in the bay. To keep h there, safe from everything in the world outside. FroJ Scorpion and his thugs. Even from Torch's own persistel demons. The ones that drove him. Were still driving him.

Hell, that idea had been taking shape in his mind' f hours now. He wanted to take her into his home, into h life . and he wanted to ask her to stay. For a while, at leasl He wanted to tell her that he wasn't sure he could ever be whole human being again, but that he'd like it if she'd stic around and help him try to find out.

Maybe it wouldn't be fair of him to ask it of her. H didn't think he'd be able to get past the loss of his sons. Nc ever. There was a huge part of him that had died with them He didn't think he'd ever get that part of him back. Bu there was another part of him, a vital part, that was beginning to heal, and he knew that it was because of her.

Selfishly, perhaps, he wanted that healing to goon. He wanted to keep her close to him, he wanted to try. to try to love her.

For a very brief moment in time, a moment that spanned from somewhere during their flight to Washington, D.C. " to the present one, he'd seen the possibility of a future for him. A future that included Alexandra. It had hovered in the distance like a glimmering beacon of light at the end of a black, lifeless tunnel. For that 'one, fragile moment, he'd even thought he might be able to put aside his burning need to murder Scorpion.

But it had been only that. A brief moment in time. A split second when the possibility of moving past the pain and into a new stage of life--with Alexandra--had seemed logical, natural. Even attainable.

And then the moment had passed. Right here in this hotel room. It was shattered' by three short, simple words coming through a telephone line.

"Scorpion is here."

Torch's grip on the receiver tightened painfully. His gaze followed Aleaandra as she sat in front of a mirror and ran a brush through her long, satiny hair.

"Did you hear what I said, Torch? He's here, in Washington. He must have followed you."

"I hear you, D.C." Torch's voice was strained, and he tried clearing his throat. His ridiculous ideas about trying to make a future for himself and Alex dissolved like sugar in hot coffee.

"I can only assume his pr~ence means you have the formula," D.C. said.

"He wouldn't be following you otherwise.

Am I right? "

"I have it."

There was a relieved sigh.

"What about the Drs. Holt? We need to take them into custody, and it"

-- "No?" At the force he put into the single word, Alex turned from the mirror to stare at him. Those probing, innocent eyes, searching his face. He shifted in his chair t couldn't break the hold her eyes had on his.

"The fathe dead," Torch explained, more calmly.

"And the daugh had no knowledge of his crimes."

D.C. was silent for a long moment. When he spoke, seemed he chose his words carefully.

"Torch... we'll t your findings into account, and they'll' carry a lot of weig But she has to be brought in. There has to be an investi tion into her involvement, before" -- "No investigation, D.C. I want it clear, right now. ] charges against Alexandra Holt. Give me your word, a friend, or I won't bother bringing in the damned formula all."

'Don't be ridiculous," D.C. said quickly.

"If you do turn it in, you don't get your money."

"You can take that money and" -- "All right!" He could hear the gulp as D.C. swallow hard, then the long, slow breath he drew.

"All right, Tore Okay. You say she's innocent, she's innocent."

"She is."

Alexandra laid her brush on the dresser and stood up. $~ came to him while D.C. was still speaking, and the sight ~ her slow approach made him lose his hearing' for am, ment. D.C. "s voice faded to nothingness as she ran one pa over the side of his face and mouthed the words " that you," her eyes brimming.

Torch closed his eyes at the pain her touch evoked. Ar even then, couldn't stop himself from turning until his lil touched her palm, kissing her there, slowly.

"Her smile was tremulous, maybe uncertain. She went in the bathroom and closed the door.

"if she's that important to you, you're not going t want to risk it," D. C. was saying.

"So I still want her i custody."

Torch shook himself.

"Risk what?"

"Try listening this time, Torch, this is vital."

 
Torch nodded, granted and wished D.C. would get to the point.

"Scorpion is here. He obviously -knows you still have the formula, obviously knows you haven't given it to us yet. He'll try to get to you before you have the chance to turn it in. And that means tonight, Torch. We need to take some precautions. If we don't, you and the woman might both end up dead, and that formula in the worst possible hands."

It was true. If Scorpion was here, then he must be planning another attempt. And he'd kill them outright this time. He wouldn't risk being bested again.

"I can bring it in right now," Torch suggested.

"No. Scorpion knows enough to watch the building. He might try to take you before you get inside. I have a better idea."

"Shoot;" Torch said.

"I'll come to you. He'll be watching for you to arrive, not for me to leave. So it shouldn't be hard to slip out of here unnoticed. You can turn over the formula, and then you and the woman come in with me. We stick you in a safe house with armed guards" -- "Protective custody."

Torch grimaced at the thought. "Just until we manage to let Scorpion know it's too late. That the formula has been destroyed. We'll try to pick him up before he skips the country again, but this way, even if he gets past us, he'll still have no reason to bother you or the woman again. You'll be safe."

Torch shook his head.

"You know what I'm gonna say." D.C. only sighed.

"You of all people, D.C." should know exactly what my answer to' your plan will be. You know me better than anyone alive. " D.C. started to speak, but Torch went on.

"I'm not coming in."

"Torch" -- "Come to me like you said, and be damn sure you're not followed. I'll give you the formula, and then you take Alexandra to that safe house, and you guard her with your life, D.C. This woman" --

he cleared his throat "--she means something to me."

"Yeah, well, she won't if you're dead, Palamaro."

 
"

" We do this my way or no way," Torch told him, keeping his voice level.

"All right. Okay. Go on, what else?"

"That's it. Take her. somewhere safe. Put that damned formula down the nearest toilet once you verify it's the real thing. But don't let it slip that you have it. I want Scorpion to think he still has a chance."

"But, Torch, he'll still come after you if oh. I get it. That's what you want, isn't it? He'll come after you tonight, arid you'll" "Better than letting him' get away again, don't you think?"

D.C. sighed, but didn't argue.

"You'll need to tell me where you are, Torch."

"Yeah." Torch looked toward the bathroom door, where he could hear the shower running, and he thought of how furious Alex was going to be with him for this. She wouldn't go willingly. He knew she wouldn't.

"Give me a couple of hours, okay?"

"Sure, Torch. Whatever you want. I owe you for this one."

Torch gave him the address and hung up the phone. A few minutes ago, he'd been wondering if he could convince Alexandra to stay with him.

Now, he was trying to think of a way to make her willingly leave.

Only one way came to mind.

He seemed so pensive tonight.

She wanted to know what he was thinking, what he was feeling, but she wouldn't ask. If he had something to say to her, something to tell her, he'd have to do it on his own. She was through offering her heart on a platter only to have it handed back to her, bleeding. She couldn't go through it again.

 
He'd ordered an extravagant dinner, with candlelight and expensive wine. And for a moment, she thought maybe he was trying to tell her something. Maybe he was ready for their relationship to take. a new turn, to move onward. A bubble of joy rose up inside her. and then she looked at him. Really looked at him, probing deep into his eyes.

And he didn't have the look of a man about to declare his feelings.

More like . he'd lost another loved one. Or was about to.

His face was expressionless, but in his eyes she could see turmoil.

His shoulders weren't square and firm, but slumped a bit. As if he were utterly tired of carrying this burden, fighting this fight. As if he couldn't take much more. She wanted to see Torch smile again, to hear him laugh, the way he had when they'd had the snowball fight outside the camper. She wanted to see his eyes alight with passion the way they had been when he'd made such exquisite love to her in the house.

But he barely spoke, and when he did it was in monosyllables or grunts.

Distracted? Deep in thought? Worried about something? What was wrong with him?

It was only when they'd finished eating, and she'd reached the end of her patience, when he reached across the table, his hand covering hers, his eyes lowering--almost guiltily--that she'd known. This was it. He was getting ready to say goodbye.

"Don't." She pulled her hand away, a flutter of panic taking flight in her breast. Not now. Not yet. Torch's eyes rose to meet hers, and she saw so much feeling in them. So much emotion. How Could he pretend not to care when it was so visible in his eyes?

"You're going to say it's over, aren't you?"

He closed his eyes, nodded.

"And what if I say I don't want it to be?"

"I don't want it to be either, Alex." He met her gaze again, held it, and she almost thought there were the beginnings of tears in his eyes.

"I'd like you to stay. right here with me.

Live with me. Make love to me every night. I'd like that a lot. "

"But?"

His jaw clenched. He averted his eyes, and his next words came as if he were forcing them out; "But I don't love you. I never will. And I think you've come too far to settle for that. Haven't you, Alex?"

She shoved away from the table, shot out of the chair. His straightforward rejection didn't even try to ease the blow. It was almost deliberately cruel.

"Damn you, Mason Palamaro!"

He bit his lip but didn't face her.

"I don't deserve this. You know I don't."

"I know."

"Then tell me why, Torch. Why?"

She heard the way her voice had grown softer, squeezing through a smaller space as her throat closed off. She saw the regret in his eyes.

Another. layer of brutal pain on top of the one that had been there before. And the anger went out of her, leaving her weak and shaken. She sank into the chair again, out of strength. The fight gone. Only hearfich~e and confusion remained. He didn't want to do this to her. So why was he?

Torch came around the table and she felt his hands close on her shoulders. She didn't resist as he pulled her close to him. Her face pressed to his hard belly. His hands tangled in her hair.

"It's me, baby, no you. Don't ever think it was you," he whispered.

She swallowed hard, trying not ~ cry, as she pushed away from him.

She stood again, her legs wobbling, and she meant to turn away, to put some distance between them, but he kissed her. He kissed her and her insides melted down. And her mind whirled. He kissed her with his mouth and with his teeth and with his tongue, and the way he held her to him made her think he never wanted to let go. She knew he'd meant what he'd said. That he'd like her to stay.

His lips were still touching hers when he whispered, "I want to make love to you, Alex."

She shook her head, finally managing to take that single step that took her away from him. The air felt cold without his arms to warm it.

"I can't."

"No, Torch. It's over. As much as I want to give in ... I just can't do that to myself again. I've... I've spent my whole life loving a man who couldfi't love me back. I'm finished with that. I deserve...

more."

The look that flashed in his eyes could have been one of pride, only that would have made no sense. There was pain there as well. She saw it very clearly.

"You could love me, Torch. I know you 'could, if you'd only let yourself. But you, won will you?" ' "I "He couldn't look her in the eyes for more than a second.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice tortured and coarse.

She drew a breath, stiffened her spine.

"I'm not going to beg."

Closing her eyes, searching inside. for strength, she forc~l herself to end this torment, to say the final words, to break free.

"I'd like to leave tonight.!"

He lowered his head in acceptance when what she wanted the idiot to do was beg her to stay.

"That's probably for the best."

So this was it. It was over.

This might be over. But not my life, My life. is just beginning, really.

She nodded in agreement with the small voice--the new voice--that came from deep inside, She was free of a father who'd done nothing but try to bring her down. Free of the self-image she'd dragged through life like a ball and chain. She'd finally found the woman she truly was, beneath all the self-doubt and insecurity, and she liked that woman. Dr. Alexandra Holt. Smart, strong and capable of getting through anything.

"Even this," she whispered, and cleared her throat when Torch only frowned at her.

"I'll go to New York, for now. Back to the clinic where I used to work, before all this madness... for a while anyway.

I need to practice medicine again. I didn't realize how much I've missed it. "

His head came up.

"I'll book a flight out for you. Tomorrow."

She shook her head.

"I told you, I.want to leave night."

He drew a breath, pinned her with his. gaze.