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Authors: Michael Whetzel

BOOK: BOOM
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Griffin fixed his hair in the mirror and winked at his
reflection. He smacked Jeffrey on the shoulder and headed for the door.

“Got to go see my bitch. See you out there, Walls.” Griffin
strutted out of the room.

Jeffrey slammed the locker door closed.

(tick tick tick)

They started every day with a store meeting, going over
yesterday’s sales numbers and tracking the monthly quota. Donovan always leaned
to one side, usually reading the paper while Darryl, the assistant manager, led
the meeting. Where Donavan was overweight and balding, Darryl was fit and tan.
He looked at each one of the staff: the four salespeople, two warehouse
workers, and Allison. The meetings were usually short and sweet with Griffin
always getting praise for setting some sales record.

Jeffrey stood trying not to look at Allison. She was next to
Griffin, who was patting her ass softly as Darryl yelled at one of the
warehouse workers for checking in shipments wrong. She was wearing a nice pair
of black slacks and a blue blouse. She was stunning with her blue eyes and
blonde hair.  

Jeffrey watched as Griffin leaned over and whispered
something into her ear. Allison giggled and slapped his wandering hand away.

How could something so lovely be with something so horrible?
Jeffrey stared at the curve of her neck, the soft luminescence of her skin.
I’m not horrible. I’m a good guy.

“Walls!”

He looked up quickly. Darryl was speaking to him now.

“I need you and the rest of the crew to step up today and
sell something.” Jeffrey watched as small drops of spittle flew from Darryl’s
lips. Donovan flipped a page of the newspaper.

“Yes sir,” Jeffrey replied.

“Remember, everyone who walks through our doors is a sale
waiting to happen. It’s up to you guys to convince them of that. Watch Griffin.
Watch how he talks to people and imposes his will on them.” Darryl nodded at
Griffin. “You can learn a lot from watching him. And it would be nice if somebody
else was salesman of the month for once.”

“Not happening, boss,” Griffin chirped. There was laughter
all around.

“Now here is the new list of special offers. We got several
coupons appearing….” Darryl droned on but Jeffrey looked out the front windows,
wondering when exactly his dreams had started to fade away.

His eyes began to flit as they shook from the noise calling
out behind his sockets.

(tick tick tick tick tick tick tick)

 

 

 

 

IV.

“What do you mean I can’t use both of them?”

“Well, it plainly states on the ad, sir, you can only use
one coupon per store visit.” This was the third time Jeffrey had been through
this with the older gentleman. The man was trying to buy a new DVD player and
wanted to use double coupons, which was not allowed. Jeffrey could feel his patience
beginning to turn.

“Tick.”

“What?” The old man looked up at Jeffrey. Jeffrey looked
back confused.

“What?”
Now what is this guy wanting.

“What did you say?”

“I was saying that we cannot accept both coupons for the
same….”

“No. I want to use both of them. I cut them both out of your
ad this morning.” The man’s face was beginning to turn crimson, contrasting
heavily with his white hair and bushy eyebrows.

“Jeffrey, can I see you for a bit?” Jeffrey turned to see
Darryl standing close by. Griffin was next to him, smirking.

“I can’t right now. I’m with a customer.”

“Griffin will take over. Come back to the office with me.
Donovan and I would like to speak with you.”

Jeffrey sighed and turned to follow.
The office meant a
lecture. Great.
He heard Griffin already charming the customer.

“Don’t worry, sir. I’m going to take real good care of you.”

“I hope so. That young man just doesn’t get it.”

“I get it, sir. Believe me I do.”

Darryl opened the door to the office. Donovan was seated
behind the large oak desk. He grabbed a handful of jelly beans from a small
glass bowl sitting next to a picture of his wife. Jeffrey sat down in front of
Donovan and Darryl took a seat beside the door. Donovan threw back his head and
shook jellybeans into his mouth.

Jeffrey looked at the picture of the pretty wife. She was a
sandy blond who looked ten years younger than she really was. Jeffrey had met
her one time before at an office function. He remembered she had the body to
match the pretty face.

Donovan swallowed his candy and cleared his throat.

“How’s it going today, Walls?” The boss started drumming his
fingers on the desktop.

“It’s okay, I guess.”

“What was happening with that customer? The old man? It
seemed like you were having some trouble there.” Donovan stopped drumming and
leaned back in his large plush leather chair.

“Well yeah, he wanted to use double coupons. He can’t do
that.” Jeffrey looked straight at his boss. “You always said never take double
coupons. It’s in the fine print and loses the store money.”

Donovan laughed and Jeffrey heard a snicker in reply from
Darryl.

“You are right. We did say that, didn’t we Darryl?”

“Yep, that’s how we train you.”

Jeffrey nodded.
I was doing the right thing. They’ll back
me up.

Donovan leaned forward, very serious now. “But…we have to
remember the customer is
always
right too. You remember that golden rule
in business, don’t you Walls?”

“Well yeah but…”

“Because if the customer does not feel taken care of they
will not spend money with us and they will not come back to spend more money
with us and they will not tell all their friends and family to come spend money
with us.”

“Yeah.”

“So do you think that gentleman felt like he was being taken
care of out there?”

Jeffrey paused.
What the hell? I was doing the right
thing.

Donovan raised his eyebrows, questioning.

“Did you want me to take the double coupons? If we changed
the policy, no one told me that,” Jeffrey replied.

“Hell no!” Donovan’s chair squealed on its small plastic
wheels.

“Oh God no” came from Darryl.

“What was I doing wrong?”
Because I have no flippin’ idea
what you are expecting from me.
A headache formed in the front of Jeffrey’s
head, compounded by the dreadful sound rolling in his ears.

(tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick)

“I want you to take care of the customer because they are
always right.” Donovan flashed a mighty grin and ran his hands back through his
thinning hair.

“Even when the customer is wrong?”

Darryl piped up from behind Jeffrey. “Especially when
they’re wrong.”

“Yes!” Donovan slapped his hand hard on the desktop. “Right
on, Darryl.”

He turned back to Jeffrey.

“That’s when you show how strong you are, how hungry you
are. That’s when you become the fucking animal.”

Jeffrey was quiet. He wasn’t sure what to say. So he said:
“I don’t understand.”

“You see, Walls, I want every customer to feel that they’re
always right when they walk into my store. If they feel they are ‘safe’, they
will be more willing to open their pockets and dig deeper for that big money we
want.” Donovan waved off Jeffrey’s objection. “Now we both know a customer
being right all the time is complete bullshit. But a salesman who can impose
his will on a customer can turn bullshit into gold. Right, Darryl?”

“That’s right, boss.”

“A salesman who has the ferocious, confident nature of a
beast can silence the questions and insecurities of a paltry little piss ant
customer. A customer would never ever question a beast. They would only accept
what they are told, and trust that the beast is going to lead them to the
promise land. Because, fuck it, customers are the weak animals. They are the
ones coming to us for their needs. And I’ll be damned if they are going to
dictate to us the terms of a sale.” Donovan pointed his finger at Jeffrey. “You
must become an animal.”

What the hell are they talking about?
Jeffrey gazed
at Donovan.

Donovan reached into his desk and brought out a small
folder. He flipped it open and began studying the contents.

“You’ve been here going on six months, Walls. And you have
been the bottom salesperson every single month.” The big man glanced up at
Jeffrey and leaned back in his chair again. “Now I know you went to college and
got a fancy pants engineering degree in whatever. But that don’t count for shit
around here. They don’t teach you about the real world in college, about human
nature. Look at me and Darryl. We didn’t go to college and we’re your boss,
son.”

Jeffrey nodded in agreement.

Donovan continued. “College makes men into sheep. And sheep
are weak animals. We have no need for sheep around here.” He leaned forward
again. “I’m going to help you, Walls. I’m going to make you into something
better. Because I don’t think you want to be a sheep all your life, now do
you?”

Jeffrey shook his head no.

“No one ever does. It’s just the hand we’re dealt,” Darryl
added solemnly.

“That’s right, Darryl. It’s just the hand you’re dealt. I
know you have had a hard couple of years, with your parents and all. But you
can change all that. You can make yourself into the beast.”

Donovan clasped his hands in front of him on the solid oak
desk. “Look at Griffin. That young man is a tiger. Relentless and smart. He
controls the customer’s whims from the get go and they have no idea what is
happening to them. He’s a machine. He’s even fucking that good looking broad,
whatever her name is.”

“Allison.” Darryl again. Jeffrey perked up at the sound of
her name.

“Yeah, he has it all because he’s not a sheep. Now Darryl,
Darryl is a bear. The wise old bear. Mean when he has to be but always watching
and waiting. And when one of the cubs gets out of hand, he whacks the shit out
of them and they get straight quick. And me…” Donovan grinned. “I’m the king.
I’m the lion. And this store is my jungle and I control all of it. The lion is
the boss. I bring all of you under my wing and protect you here in my store.
But the store is only as strong as its weakest link. And you don’t want to be
the weakest link, do you Walls?”

Donovan clapped his hands together. Darryl stood up behind
Jeffrey.

“What kind of animal are you, Walls?” Donovan asked.

(tick tick tick tick tick)
The headache was getting worse.
Jeffrey looked up at his boss and shrugged his shoulders.

“I’m not sure, sir,” he squeaked.

“Well, that’s okay. That’s fair. It’s a big step. A brash
move, especially when you’ve been a sheep most of your life.” Donovan looked
sympathetic. “Why don’t you think on it a bit? Observe Griffin and Darryl out
on the showroom. Sleep on it. We can talk more later.”

Darryl opened the door and Jeffrey got up to leave.

“Oh one more thing, Walls,” Donovan added. “I hate asking
this of you, but you are the lowest on the seniority ladder. The shitter is clogged
again. Take care of it please.”

Jeffrey nodded his head and looked at the floor as he walked
out the door. Darryl clapped him on the back as he closed the door behind him.

“Tick, Tick.”

 

 

 

V.

The showroom was quiet. Usually in the middle of the day,
business slowed down as many people were on lunch breaks. Jeffrey was leaving
the bathroom with the cleaning supplies and met Donovan heading in with a
magazine under his arm. Donovan spent much of his lunch break on the can,
reading whatever he could find, which usually consisted of whatever nudie book
was lying around in the rear warehouse.

Jeffrey walked towards the front of the store. It was time
for his break but he had no appetite. Lack of sleep had also led to lack of
hunger. Besides the protein shakes and what little bit of dinner he nibbled at
home, he hardly ate anything throughout the week.

He was getting ready to hop in his car and go for a drive
when he heard his name being called.

“Jeffrey!”

It was Allison. She walked up to the car, a kind smile on
her face.

“Hey. Do you want to go to lunch with me?” Jeffrey was not
sure if he heard right.

“What about Griffin?” He shuffled his feet back and forth.

“He said he has to run a bunch of errands and won’t have
time for lunch today. We can go wherever you were heading. I just don’t have a
ride and I’m starving.”

“Okay.” Jeffrey opened the driver’s door and got in. He
thumbed the lock switch and Allison jumped in next to him.

“Wherever is fine,” she said. Jeffrey nodded and pulled out
of the parking lot.

They had Chinese for lunch. He wasn’t that big on Chinese
but it was close and Allison had mentioned before how she loved it. They sat
waiting for their orders. Jeffrey stirred the straw in his drink and looked at
the paper placemat. He wanted to talk but had no idea what to say. Allison
looked around the restaurant and waved at a few people she knew.

“Work is so boring today.”

“I’m sorry, what?” He did not realize she had spoken.

“I said work is so boring today.”

Jeffrey nodded. “I think it’s boring every day.” Allison
giggled at this and sipped her water.

“I heard you studied architecture in college.” Her eyes were
so blue and Jeffrey tried hard not to fall into them.

“Yeah, fat lot of good it did me. I’m still paying off
student loans for knowledge that I’m currently not using.”

“I know how that feels. I studied art in college. I was
going to be the world’s greatest painter. Now I’m the world’s most mediocre
secretary.” Their food arrived and Allison dug into her beef and broccoli with
relish.

“I don’t think you’re mediocre.” Jeffrey hadn’t touched his
food yet. He just sat looking at this beautiful woman who he very much wanted
to hold.

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