Born of Silence (52 page)

In the past, the governors had always pardoned their mothers as soon as they could. Only Arturo had been cruel enough to make sure that Natale was tied to them without hope of a pardon.

Lise took a deep breath. “Darling keeps telling me that before our father’s death, Momair was extremely loving and kind. But I have no memory of her being anything other than a bitter, resentful bitch.”

Frowning, Lise glanced toward the operating room doors. “Sometimes I think it’s harder on Darling since he has memories of having a real mother, than for me and Drake. We don’t remember her being nice or giving. But when Darling talks about the past… you can see in his eyes how much he misses the parents he had. Sometimes it
makes me wish that I remembered them, too. Instead, all I know about my father is what my brothers, mostly Darling, tell me. And I have no concept of being mothered by anyone except Darling and Maris.”

Zarya had to smile at that. “They are good at that, aren’t they?”

Lise nodded. “The saddest truth? I wouldn’t know anything about makeup or clothes at all, but for Maris. He was even the one who went with me to buy my first bra.”

Zarya laughed. “Seriously?”

“Oh, yeah. I’d asked Darling to go with me, but he’d been so offended that Maris had volunteered. At the time, I thought it was solely because he didn’t want me growing up. Now…”

“It would have been extremely awkward for him,” Zarya finished, trying to imagine Darling in a women’s lingerie boutique. Although, he did have a deep appreciation for it…

Teasingly, she rubbed her arm against Lise’s. “If it makes you feel any better, Maris is the one who taught me, too.”

Lise laughed. “If you ever get a chance, you really should go shopping with him. I’ve never seen anyone get so excited about shoes.” The humor faded as she turned serious again. “I know Sorche doesn’t remember her mother, but do you?”

“I do.”

Lise considered that for a moment. “What was it like?”

Zarya wasn’t sure what she meant. “What was what like?”

“Having a mother. Was she kind?”

Zarya couldn’t speak for several seconds around the lump in her throat that those words caused. It’d always saddened her that Sorche couldn’t remember their mother. But Lise’s was alive…

I will never understand Natale.
How could she neglect her children so?

“She was wonderful. I’m sure we fought, but I don’t remember it at all. I only remember her laughing and hugging us.”

“I’m so sorry, Z.”

Her apology startled her. “For what?”

“Everything my uncle did to you.” Lise glanced over to Sorche who was snoring ever so softly. “I know how much Patrice and Rachelle meant to Sorche. She said that you and Rachelle were very close.”

Zarya clenched her teeth against the wave of pain that crashed through her at the mention of her sisters. She even missed her brother’s meanness. “We were.”

“Sorche talks about them all the time, but she said that you don’t.”

Tears welled up in Zarya’s eyes, blinding her for a moment. “I can’t,” she said with a short sob. It was why she’d blocked out those memories of Darling’s visits when they’d been children. She missed her family so much that when she looked back, it felt like something gutted her. She still couldn’t believe they were gone.

That she’d never see them again…

Lise wrapped her arm around Zarya’s shoulders and hugged her. “I get it now.”

Zarya cleared her throat. “Get what?”

“You and Darling. You’ve both had the weight of the universe on you for a long time. From the cradle, my father filled Darling with responsibility. And my mother shoved so much on him that I’m surprised it didn’t break his back to carry it all. Meanwhile, your father made you responsible for the entire Resistance, as well as Sorche and Rachelle.”

Strange, she’d never thought of it that way. She’d never considered her sisters a burden. But Lise was right. She and Darling did have that in common.

“Darling was the only parent I’ve ever known and Sorche said that you’ve been her only mother.”

Zarya glanced down at her little sister. “Yeah, but I never minded.”

Lise fell quiet for a few seconds. “I wonder if Darling ever did.”

“Did what?”

“Minded us.” Lise flinched.

“Is your back all right?” she asked, worried about the pain she saw on Lise’s face.

Lise nodded. “It’s not the back. I flashed on Darling and all the times Arturo would start toward me or his daughters, and Darling would put himself between us, giving us time to escape while he drew Arturo’s attention and fire to him. It had to bother him, didn’t it? But he never said anything about it. Not once.”

Zarya took her hand and held it gently. “He loves you, Lise. Dearly. So no, I don’t think he minded at all.”

“I really need to be nicer to him.”

Smiling, Zarya started to respond, but the operating room door finally opened.

Her throat went dry as Syn came out, looking pale and shaky. Exhausted. Without a word, he went over to Nero and pulled the flask off his belt. Tipping his head back, he took a deep swallow.

Nykyrian and Kiara returned a second before Maris joined their group.

Terrified of Syn’s behavior, Zarya gently pushed her sister off her shoulder, got up and went over to him. “Is Darling all right?”

Syn returned the flask to Nero, then nodded. “I’ve got him stabilized. For now.”

Hauk scowled. “What happened?”

Syn ground his teeth. “We lost him three times on the table and had to resuscitate him.” He glared at Nykyrian as if it was somehow his fault. “Damn you half-blooded mongrels. You make it hard as hell on us to treat you. None of you react to anything like you’re supposed to.”

Half-blooded? Those words echoed in her head. She frowned at Syn. “Darling’s human, isn’t he?”

Syn didn’t answer her question as he continued his report. “Because it’s Darling, we’re not sure how well the new procedure will take. But I did a little more work on his internals while I had him under. The additional stress shocked his system, which was
really
stupid on my part. However, I knew the chances of getting him back on the table would be slim, so I wanted to get as much done on him as I could.” He pulled the surgical cap off. “I seriously hope I haven’t made a mistake.”

Nykyrian placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “You’re the best there is, Syn. He’ll be fine.”

Syn’s gaze doubted that confidence.

“Can I see him?” Nero asked.

“He won’t be awake for a while.”

Nero refused to be daunted. “But can I see him?”

“Sure.”

When Syn went to show him the way, Nero stopped him. “I got it. You stay here with the others.”

Syn frowned, but didn’t argue as Nero left them in the waiting room and vanished through the doors. “Damn. I should have grabbed his flask again.”

Fain handed him his. “My shit’s better, anyway. Nero’s a cheap bastard who has no taste buds.”

Syn saluted him with the flask.

Caillen tsked as Syn took a deep drink. “You wouldn’t be doing that if Shahara was here.”

“Damn straight. She’d kick my ass sideways and you better not tell her I did this.
I
will kick yours if you do.”

“Don’t make it a habit and I won’t.”

Zarya glanced at Maris who’d been eerily quiet through everything. “How long before Darling wakes up?” she asked Syn.

He shrugged. “There’s no telling. His metabolism is faster than most so he burns through medication like nothing I’ve ever seen. It’s why it’s so hard to put him out medically and why you never want to try and drink him under the table… After we rescued him from the Resistance, I went through most of the pharmacy in one week alone just to keep him in a coma so he could heal.”

His gaze touched on everyone who stood around him. “There’s no need for you guys to hang. I’ve got him under tight observation and he’s not going to want to talk to anyone when he wakes.” He jerked his head toward the hallway. “In fact I’m going to crash in my office for a while.”

Lise walked over to Fain. “Are you staying, or heading home?”

“Why?”

“If you’re staying, I’d like to sleep and shower on your ship.”

“Sure.”

Drake cleared his throat. “You’re not going there alone, little girl. Not with Fain’s reputation where women are concerned.”

She rolled her eyes at her brother, then looked at Zarya. “I’ll pay you money to kill him.”

Chayden laughed. “Well, if you want your brother killed, you’re in the right place, but asking the wrong person. I think everyone here, but Zarya, is a trained assassin.”

“Drake’s not trained,” Lise said flippantly.

Zarya saw a nervous light flash in Drake’s eyes before he caught himself.

Frowning, she wondered what he was hiding from the rest of his family. Obviously, he’d been trained by someone. But the three of them were gone before she could ask about it.

The others followed suit.

Syn yawned before he looked at her and Maris. “I’m going to bet that you two aren’t leaving.”

“No,” they said in unison.

He scratched at the back of his neck. “C’mon. I’ll have a cot brought into Darling’s room for you to sleep on,” he said to her. “And I’ll send your sister down to the empty office next to mine that has a couch she can crash on.”

“Thank you.”

He inclined his head to her as he led her toward the doors. “Should I have one brought for you, too, Mari?”

“No, thanks. But I will go back for the drinks I left when I saw you come in.” Maris touched her elbow. “I won’t be long.” He squeezed her lightly before he took his leave.

Once they were alone, she pulled Syn to a stop. “What aren’t you saying about Darling?”

“Really nothing. I’m just worried.”

Which worried her. “About his dying?”

“Partly, but that’s not my biggest fear.” There was a haunted, chilling light in his black eyes. “You weren’t here when I took the bandages off his face and he saw the scars your people gave him. He didn’t cope well, Zarya. Not at all.”

That she could believe. Who would have? “He’s still not coping well.”

Syn snorted. “Do you blame him?”

“No.” Her throat tightened as she thought about the constant pain Darling lived in, and all the damage that had been done by his own allies. “I’m not sure I would cope as well as he has, all things considered.”

“Yeah,” Syn breathed. “So I’m nervous as hell about what we might find this time and how he’s going to react if there’s little, or gods forbid,
no
change.”

Honestly, so was she. But she refused to consider that. If it happened, they’d deal with it. “I don’t care what he looks like.”

“Yeah, but
he
does.” Syn sighed in disgust. “You know why he grew his hair over the scar?”

“He hated the sight of it.”

Syn laughed bitterly. “Yeah… That’s the simple answer. The truth? We were in a restaurant when Darling was twenty-one, maybe twenty-two, having dinner and celebrating the fact that we’d been able to repair all the damage on his face except for that one scar… which given the severity of what we started with was damn incredible. I know Ryn didn’t do it on purpose, but damn… Darling’s face was awful before the surgeries… Anyway, Darling was finally so happy that he looked human again. It was the first time he’d been out in public since he was scarred by his fight. While he was in the middle of thanking me for repairing him, the manager came over and asked if we’d mind moving to a corner table so that Darling could face the wall.”

She scowled in confusion. “Why?”

The rage in that black gaze scorched her. “Some of the diners had complained. They’d told him that seeing Darling’s face was making them lose their appetites. If I live to be a thousand, I’ll never forget the way Darling took
that
news. He looked like someone had kicked his teeth in. So he covered the scar with his hand and literally wilted in front of me. I punched the son of a bitch for it, but the damage was done. Darling was so embarrassed that he left immediately.”

Her own fury ignited. “People can be so mean.”

“Don’t even go there with me,” Syn said between clenched teeth. “I’ve seen a side of people you better pray God you never do. Anyway, after that Darling wouldn’t go into public without a crash helmet covering his entire face. Not until his hair grew long enough to hide the scar. Even then, it was years before he stopped holding his hair in place with one hand to make sure nothing exposed it.”

“I understand. Believe me, I know exactly how self-conscious he is of it.”

Nodding glumly, he led her down the hallway. “I really hope, for his sake, this surgery works.”

So did she. With every part of her.

They slowed as they reached a room that had a strange orangish-red glow coming out from the bottom of the door.

What in the Nine Systems?

They exchanged a questioning scowl before Syn opened it. The glow vanished the instant he touched the handle.