Borrowing Trouble (6 page)

“Morning, boys!” Brittany sang out, walking through the front door carrying her overnight bag. She was wearing her clothes from the night before, hair up in a ponytail. She looked a little flushed. Landon and Mitch shared an unhappy glance.

“Morning, Brit,” Mitch said with a smile, probably overdoing the cheer. Brittany looked at both of them askance.

“You two sleep good?” Landon asked. Brittany’s face split into a happy smile and Landon wished he hadn’t asked. He was an idiot. She had walk of shame written all over her and he did not want to hear about how well she must have slept.

The acid in his stomach boiled with jealousy, his heart ached with despair. Fuck. He’d just known Jay would put her off like he’d done Felicia. Mitch’s downcast gaze said he’d drawn the same conclusions as Landon.

“I’ll make breakfast,” Landon said, scurrying to the kitchen.

“Okay,” Brittany said slowly to his back. “I’m gonna hit the shower.”

Landon put a cork in his roiling emotions. This was not the time. He’d said it himself, he couldn’t get made at her or Jay for… whatever. They were adults.

Okay, he could be pissed at Jay. Fuck him.

“Landon.”

He glanced at Mitch, who approached him cautiously.

“You want one egg or two? I figured I’d do a fry-up.” He pulled down a bowl to beat the eggs in.

“You okay?”

“I’m fine, Mitch,” Landon said with steel in his voice. “I’m not mad at her. This is dumb anyways. I know better.”

“Lan—”

“No. Really. Drop it.” He turned a smile on his friend. “I missed you guys and I just wanna hang out and have a nice breakfast before y’all leave. Okay?”

Mitch hustled over and wrapped Landon in a quick, fierce hug. Landon allowed himself two seconds to relax into it, and was so fucking grateful for Mitch in that moment. Mitch then let him go, always knowing when Landon had reached his physical comfort capacity.

“Well, if she got to have fun last night, she gets to drive.” Mitch pulled a bag from under the counter and held up champagne and orange juice. “We get mimosas.”

“Oh my God, I don’t think I can drink any more.”

“You can and you will,” Mitch sing-songed.

“Peer pressure!”

“Precisely.”

Aside from good natured bitching about having to drive and a few questioning looks from Brittany, breakfast was their usual good time. But Landon, every once in a while, got stuck in his head, alternating in each instance between bitter jealousy and rage. He was pissed at himself, he was pissed at Jay, and he felt horrible for the brief moments of anger toward Brittany.

When they left, it was one of the rare times he was glad to see the back of his friends. He cleaned his kitchen and tried to think of things to do around the house on his Sunday off. But damn if he hadn’t worked himself up a good mad-on.

He didn’t expect an apology, but he’d made it to the point he wanted an acknowledgment from Jay that fucking one of his closest friends was fucked up.

But. It wasn’t. Fuck. It’s not like there had ever been a chance with Jay. Jay was straight.

But. Fuck him. He’d been a guest at Landon’s house and spent the night avoiding him, then fucked Landon’s friend. Fuck. Him.

Landon knew Jay’s kids were gone until the next weekend, so he didn’t put much more thought into it as he slid his feet into a pair of boots and hopped in his truck. He damn well was gonna tell Jay he was bastard. Landon had apologized for making the night awkward by almost kissing Jay, even though it seemed Jay had been just as close as Landon had. Landon felt disrespected, which was probably entirely irrational.

He tried to tell himself he was acting like a jealous teenager as he made his way down the road to Jay’s house. But it didn’t stop him.

Chapter 9

Jay tossed his checkbook register across the desk. Frustrated was the easiest way to describe his mood. He looked at the program on the PC Clint had attempted three times now to teach Jay how to use, but Jay still felt dumb. Hell, he did well to turn the stupid computer on half the time, so he didn’t know why he thought it’d make it easier to try to keep up with his budget on the personal finance software the kids had gotten him for Christmas.

He didn’t know why they’d gotten him the software at all. He didn’t even remember the password to his email, and all of this on top of his stupid fucking hangover from hanging out with those stupid fucking kids the night before was doing nothing for his stupid fucking mood.

It also obviously wasn’t doing much for his vocabulary.

Frustrated.

What a simple word for all the feelings going on inside him. He was thirty-six years old last time he checked, so he didn’t know why he was reduced to angsting like he was sixteen. Self-examination had been one of those things that was supposed to make him a better husband, a better father. Instead, after last night’s near kiss with Landon, it’d made him nothing but an angry, guilty mess.

That Landon had thought Jay would hit him over the near-encounter had distressed him. Then he’d drunk too much and flirted with that Brittany girl and lord knows that didn’t help a bit. She was beautiful, with her long blonde hair, thick legs, and full curves. But when he’d looked at blond hair, he could only think of running his fingers through Landon’s.

And what the hell?

He’d been married for almost twenty years, for fuck’s sake. To a
woman
.

But you were only ever with that one woman
, his traitorous mind reminded him. Fuck you very much.

He’d almost kissed Landon. He didn’t even know if he was ashamed of it, or turned on by it. His cock tenting his sweatpants right then gave him an answer he wasn’t sure he could handle.

He eyed the computer on his desk.

What the hell would it hurt? He just hadn’t gotten laid in forever, a conclusion he’d come to after eyeing Landon’s shirtless torso the other day. He probably just needed to rub one out.

The kids weren’t home. He was all alone.

He clicked up the browser on the computer. He’d never done this, looked for porn on the internet. But even he couldn’t fuck that up, right?

He did a Google search and found a free site. He felt a little bad for it, but hey, desperate times.

When he brought up a video, he watched it almost clinically. It was a strange sensation. Yeah, he was hard, and it was sex. Sex was good.

He did roll his eyes a few times, though, knowing some of what he saw was shit he’d never have been able to get off doing. That made him change the video. When the next one started to play, he watched carefully. Again, he rolled his eyes at the over the top moaning of both participants.

A strange thought crossed his mind, though.

The internet hadn’t been a thing when he was a teenager, and if his folks had caught him with a skin mag, he’d have been toast. He’d seen a couple pornos, obviously, but by the time it would have been something he was into, he was getting regular sex from Bethany. Who needed porn when they had the real thing?

So he’d never… strayed. He’d never looked at anything other than standard old man-on-woman porn. He didn’t know why, or what had his fingers pecking out the words
gay man porn
in the search box. But… if nothing else, it’d prove a point. He wasn’t gay, therefor, gay porn would do nothing for him.

He looked through the thumbnails until his eye caught on one with a smooth, muscled blond man. He didn’t let himself think on why he was looking at a porn with a guy that looked like—no one. It was a passing resemblance at best.

The video started and holy shit. The action started right away. The blond man was sucking— He clicked the window closed. His body shook, cock pounding with need. But…

Way to prove a point, asshole.

He leaned forward, elbows on the desk, and dropped his head into his hands, trying to even his heavy breathing. This was insane. His heart raced and he could feel a flush from his ears to his chest. It was all arousal. All visceral need and he didn’t know how to shove this back in the fucking box. The stupid box he’d opened.

His body was so hot, sweat clinging to his brow. Granted, he’d already been hot, had taken off his shirt earlier because with it being so late in the year, he felt silly turning on the central air. Now, though, it was all because he was… well,
hot
. And bothered.

A knocking on the front door made him look up from where he’d been hiding in his hands. The knock was firm. Not angry, but definitely someone on a mission. He scrunched his brow in wonder over who’d be stopping by so early on a Sunday morning. Hell, most people he knew were getting ready to head to Sunday school at church.

He stood, only to realize he was still hard enough to pound nails, and his old sweatpants weren’t doing shit to hide the problem. He grabbed his t-shirt shirt from where he’d laid it on the back of his chair and held it in front of himself. Wouldn’t be the first time he’d answered the door shirtless, and at least he could hold it in front of himself to hide his hard-on.

He started thinking of anything random he could, trying to calm his body so he wouldn’t embarrass himself, but when he threw open the door and saw Landon there, his cock gave a happy jump. Goddamnit.

“Uh, Landon?”

The man looked pissed. And ridiculous. In a shirt whose sleeves had been cut off, gym shorts, and muddy work boots, he looked like he’d rolled right out of bed and driven straight to Jay’s.

“Can I talk to you?”

“I… Yeah, I guess.” One would think with the tension between them, the anger radiating off Landon, Jay’s ardor would cool. Unfortunately, his body reacted the opposite of that.

He shut the door and leaned his forehead on it, counting to ten. Landon’s boots clomped on the hardwood floors as he paced.

“Look. Jay, I know I fucked up by almost kissing you. But my best friend?”

Jay jolted with surprise. “What do you mean?” He knew damn well what the man meant. He turned to Landon, still holding his shirt in front of him, desperately wishing he could put it on. He felt more vulnerable than he was comfortable with, suddenly.

The anger morphed to a raw hurt when Landon turned to face Jay, his eyes red and sad. “I get it. You are uncomfortable around me. I did a dick thing and almost kissed you. I’ve misread our friendship more than once. I’m sorry. But really? Anyone but my best friend. Because now I’m so mad at her for fucking you, I can’t see straight.”

Jay’s jaw dropped. “
Fucking
me? What are you talking about?”

Landon glared. “She came waltzing in this morning with her overnight bag.”

“Well, I don’t know, maybe because she stayed over? When I left her, she’d passed out on the couch because she was trashed. She went in to pee and she was out when I checked on her.”

Landon stilled, frowning. Jay wanted to reach for him, to run his thumbs over Landon’s pinched brow. And he fucking hated that he wanted to.

Then Landon’s brows shot up, eyes widened. Jay realized he’d dropped his bunched up shirt so his hard-on was plainly visible. “Uh.” Jay couldn’t form words. Landon’s gaze flicked between Jay’s mouth, his eyes, and his hard cock, which was decidedly interested in the way Landon licked his pouty lips.

A shaky breath left Jay’s body, his heart thumped in his ears as a need he’d never known roared through him. He was terrified and turned on at the same time. Landon was so close Jay could reach out and touch him. That seemed to be happening a lot lately.

“Jay,” Landon said, voice raw with confusion and need. The hunger in his eyes burned into Jay’s skin and Jay’s swallowing practically echoed in the quiet room. His mouth was so dry, his tongue felt thick. He didn’t know what to say, what to do.

But he knew what he needed.

What he couldn’t deny he wanted if he tried, not with the way his cock had the elastic waistband of his pants pulled away from his body, he was so hard.

Landon stepped closer to him. “You didn’t…”

“No.” He couldn’t believe he got the word out, or why it even mattered. But suddenly Landon was there and was all he could see or feel, and the room felt small and his skin felt too tight. Even when he’d lost his virginity, his body hadn’t been this excited or trembled so.

The heat from Landon’s skin was easy to feel this close, and Landon’s step had put him close enough that Jay’s clothed cock—just the tip—pressed into Landon’s crotch. A groan rumbled up Jay’s chest and his whole body quaked.

Then his brain shorted.

“Landon,” Jay said on a breath. He swallowed again. “Touch me. Please.” He sounded fucking gutted with need, even to his own ears. Landon’s pupils blew and he reached out a hand, grasping Jay’s cock. Jay’s head fell back against the door with a thud and he moaned.
“Jesus.
”

“God, you’re so hard… for me.” Landon sounded confused. He may as well join the club because Jay didn’t know what was going on, but he had to have more.

“Landon, please.”
God, what are you saying?

It didn’t matter, not at this point. Landon plastered himself to Jay and their lips banged together, almost painfully, as they ate at each other’s mouths. Jay had never, ever felt like this. This wasn’t getting off as a biological imperative, this was deep down, never-knew-it-could-be-like-this, need.

              “Oh, Jay,” Landon moaned into their kisses.

              “I don’t know what… I don’t know.” Jay really had no clue. What to do, how to go about this, why he was coming apart like this. But he couldn’t stop it.

              “I’ve got you,” Landon promised.

              Landon dropped to his knees and Jay had never seen such a glorious thing. Landon gave a quick tug and Jay’s cock fell out of his sweats, long and hard, the tip red and leaking.

              “Fuck,” Landon groaned, kissing the head. Jay’s entire body quaked. “This is beautiful, Jay.” And with that, he took Jay in his mouth. His lips worked Jay over, hands fondling and stroking. Jay had never particularly cared for blowjobs, could take them or leave them. Not so when Landon did it. He thought he might die if Landon ever stopped.

              “Jesus, Landon. Jesus fucking Christ.”

              Landon looked up through long, blond lashes, watching Jay as Jay came undone much more quickly than he ever had. This wasn’t his usual slowly coaxing out of an orgasm, the sometimes inability to even get close that had made his ex insecure sometimes. This was a tingling, blessed, pulsing hum in his body. Landon rolled Jay’s balls with his hand and Jay could feel Landon’s own cock fall out against his bare legs, his sweats having long ago fallen to his ankles.

              Landon started grunting, shooting vibrations up Jay’s cock. Jay looked down and was shocked at how delicious it was to see Landon pleasuring himself as his pink lips stretched over Jay’s fat cock.

              Landon suddenly grew more voracious, whimpering, and Jay gave into the urge to run his fingers through Landon’s hair. It was so smooth. Landon looked up, almost adoringly at Jay, then his eyes fluttered shut as he orgasmed and shot his cum on Jay’s shin.

              And Jay was fucking done. His body bunched up and he practically hollered as his balls, which Landon jiggled with the tips of his fingers, pulled up. “Fuck, I’m cumming. I’m cumming.”

              And he did. He lost it. That door in his mind he’d been shutting off, the one he hadn’t even known was closed, blew off the fucking hinges and all those synapses fired as his cock emptied into Landon’s mouth. Landon hummed his pleasure as he swallowed everything Jay had to give.

              Jay let go of Landon’s head and Landon came up to standing, looking uncertain. All Jay could come up with as his body still sang was, “I didn’t know.” He said the words in wonder, in awe of what had just happened. This felt almost like a religious experience. “I didn’t,” Jay said. And he was scared shitless, so he pulled Landon in for a kiss to shut up his mind and keep him from asking questions. He wasn’t ready for any shame to settle in or to give up at the moment.

              Tasting himself on Landon’s tongue was heady, and knowing Landon had swallowed his load had his cock trying to stay hard. Fuck.

              When their lips parted finally, Landon lay his forehead on Jay’s and Jay wanted to freak out. But a tear slid down Landon’s face from his closed eyes.

              “Please don’t hate me,” Landon whispered, keeping his eyes closed like a kid hiding from the big bad wolf.

              Jay gave in to his instinct to pull Landon in. “I don’t. I don’t.” He didn’t. He was fucking terrified and confused and lost and so many fucking things. But he didn’t hate Landon. But they’d have to wait until his brain was back online to sort this out. So for now, he’d just hold Landon, because it might be the only time he did it without hating himself.