Boss Bitch Swag (14 page)

“Who wants to know?”

I recognized that voice instantly. It was irritating over the phone
,
but in person it was just plain nauseating. I scanned the room
,
searching for whoever the voice belonged to
– and t
here she was
,
looking exactly how she sounded on the phone
: i
gnorant.

“Bitch
,
I know who you are.” I started to walk towards her. “What, you thought I was just gonna let that shit ride?”

“Am I suppose
d
to know what the fuck you’re talkin’ about?” She tried to play dumb
,
but it didn’t work.

Wham!
I hauled off and hit that disrespectful bitch dead in her eye.
Wham! Wham! Wham!
Before she even had a chance to hit me back
,
she was laid out on the floor getting the ass whoopin’ of a lifetime. The other girls in the shop laughed and shared gossip
,
but no one lifted a finger to help her. Asia was the kind of girl that no one liked. She wasn't cute
,
but she wasn't ugly either
, and h
er body was nice
,
so she used it to get by. She was around five
-
nine
and
light
-
skinned with acne scars all over her face and big bug eyes. She had dirty brown hair
,
which was gelled back into a short ponytail.
How the hell could Boss cheat on me with something like that?

“Bitch
,
next time you think about callin’ my house and playin’ on my muthafuckin’ phone
-
you remember this face
,
” I cautioned her. “Bitch, Boss don't want you. I’m Boss Bitch. You see that Porsche parked outside? He bought that. You see all this ice on my hand and wrist? He bought that
,
too. You ain’t even on my muthafuckin’ level.”

to"1em">
was
driving back home when it hit me
: i
t was time for that nigga to sweat a little. I turned around and began to drive in the opposite direction toward my mama’s house. Boss could keep playin
g
games if that’s what he wanted, but he wasn’t going to play them alone. I might have been young, but I wasn’t anybody’s fool
- n
ot even Boss’.

My mother wasn't doing anything
,
so we decided to go to a movie
; t
wo hours of laughing in the dark was just the thing I needed to forget for a while. Once the lights came back on
, though,
the same problems were still there. On top of that
,
I had my own mind betraying me. I couldn’t stop thinkin
g
about Boss. I wondered what he was doing and if he was thinking about me
,
to
o
. I dropped my mother off at her house and went home. I couldn’t hide from my problems forever.

“Nigga, get the fuck up!” I shouted at Boss, snatching the covers from his body as he slept. “It ain’t time for sleepin’
; i
t’s time for explainin’.”

“Fuck is yo problem?” He tried to snatch the cover back from me
,
but I was too quick. I wasn’t comfortable
,
so he wasn’t goin
g
to be comfortable either. The nigga had his nerve. I’m out stressin
g
over our situation
-
and he’s in bed
,
sleepin
g
like a baby.

“Nigga, I ain’t got no problem
,
but
you
do
-
and her name is Meesha.”

Boss laughed. Whenever he was happy
,
I was happy. I tried to stay mad, but it didn’t work
;
I loved him too much. I loved seeing him laugh
,
and I loved being the one that made him laugh. The circumstances didn’t matter. He belonged to me the same way that I belonged to him. Outsiders could try and pry us apart, but it wouldn’t work. We were for life. The only way we were goin
g
out was blazin’.

“You think I’m funny?”
I
asked as I push
ed
him down
and
climbed on top of him. “I’m a joke now?”

“I thought you left me.” He looked up at me with so much pain in his eyes
,
I could barely stand it.

“Nauh,” I
said,
sh
aking
my head from side to side. “You fucked with me
,
and now you stuck with me.”

“You crazy, baby.”

“I might be crazy, but I sure as hell ain’t stupid
,
”
I reminded us both. Being with Boss wasn’t easy
; i
t fucked with my self esteem in a major way. He was older and more mature
, and
I was
even
afraid to
ask how many women he was with before me. He never talked about any of themafr any of
, though,
and I appreciated that. It wasn’t like I didn’t know he had a past
;
I just didn’t need the details.

The ringing of his cell phone interrupted our conversation. He tried to ignore it, but it wouldn’t stop. Somebody had something important to say.

“And that betta not be no bitch
,
” I warned him as I snatched the phone out of his hand and began to inspect the
C
aller ID. “It’s Pee-Wee.” I picked up my face and handed him his phone.

“What's up?
”
Boss sounded concerned. The time on the clock caused me to grow concerned as well
;
Pee-Wee wouldn’t call that late at night if it weren’t important. Goose
b
umps spread up and down my arms. A storm was brewing
;
I could smell it in the air. I watched Boss for clues
, but h
is face was just
as stoic
as ever
...
I couldn’t read him for shit.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” I asked my man
with caution
as soon as he ended the phone call with his cousin. “What don’t you wanna tell me?”

“I’m sorry, Meesha.” He diverted his eyes away from mine. “Baby, I’m so sorry.” He couldn’t even look at me. Tears formed in his eyes
, and
I grew more anxious as I watched them begin to trickle down his rugged face. I
knew
it was really bad then. The entire time we
’
d been together
,
I never once saw Boss cry. I never even saw him tear up. He was a hood nigga
, and i
t took a lot to get to him. I felt like my world was about to come crashing at my feet
,
and I didn’t even know what was wrong yet.

“Boss, sorry for what?” My hands gripped his big
,
strong muscular arms for support. “Baby, what are you sorry for?”

“It’s Ant, baby.” He spoke so low
,
I could barely understand him. “Ant
-
”

“What about
...
” I paused for a moment and took in a deep breath. “What about Anthony?”

“Meesh
.
” He just shook his head solemnly from side to side. “Damn!” His shout was so loud and powerful
,
it caused me to jump right where I sat. “Baby, I never wanted nothin’ like this to happen to you.” His tears were contagious
;
I
started to cry
with him. We both knew my brother was dead
-
I just needed to hear him say it.
..i
t wouldn’t be real until it came from Boss’s mouth.

“Baby, tell me what happened to Anthony.”

“He’s dead
,
Meesh.” His words echoed in my head. Anthony was gone. My li
’
l brother was dead. Everything felt different. I knew instantly that I
’
d never be the same again. I was just a few years older than Ant, but I felt like a mother losin
g
her firstborn. My body began to betray me
: e
verythingosian>very hurt
,
especially my stomach
;
I felt like I was go
ing to
throw up all over our nice clean bed.

“I don’t feel good.” I stood up to try and make my way to the bathroom, but my knees gave out. “Oh
G
od.” I
felt like
I was dyin
g; m
y limp body fell to the floor like a sack of potatoes
, and t
he room began to spin around me. I knew it was just a physical reaction to a mental devastation, but I was still scared
,
and so was Boss
- who
was at my side in no time.

“Meesh, you okay
,
baby?”
h
e asked with a look of panic all over his handsome face. I wondered if he was thinking about his mother. When he told me how she committed suicide back when he was just a li
ttle b
oy
,
my heart broke for him. I couldn’t imagine losin
g
my own mother so young. His ways made so much more sense to me then. I understood why he didn’t let many people in
: h
is emotional walls were made of steel. I was just grateful that he left a crack small enough for me to burrow myself inside. He needed me
- j
ust like at that moment, sittin
g
on the floor in more pain th
a
n I
’
d ever endured, I needed him.

Less than an hour after I found out that my li
ttle
brother had been murdered, I also found out
that
I was pregnant. I was carryin
g
Boss’s child. My emotions were all over the place. One minute I was cryin
g
my eyes out
,
and the next I was smilin
g,
knowin
g
that I was goin
g
to be the one to finally give my man the family he always wanted. I knew him well enough to know how much he wanted a child
, and
I felt honored that
G
od chose me to be that child’s vessel, to give that child life. I just hoped and prayed that by the time he or she got here
,
I
’
d be in a better state of mind.

“I want you to find out who murdered my li
’
l brother
,
” I whispered to Boss as he sat next to me in my hospital bed. “I really need you to do this for me.”

“And once I find
‘
em?” He looked over at me like he already knew what I was about to say. “You know I’ll do anything for you, Meesh.”

I did know. In my heart
,
I always knew Boss loved me. He didn’t always say it, but he showed it. It wasn’t just the gifts or the money
; i
t was the way he held me in the morning when he thought I was still sleepin
g...i
t was the way he looked deep into my eyes when he made wild passionate love to me. You can’t fake those things
- a
nd since I found out that I was to be the one to give birth to his firstborn child
,
I knew that bond would only continue to grow. The love we had for each other was multiplying every day. I would have done anything for him
,
and he would have done anything for me
- e
ven commit murder.