Boswell, LaVenia (6 page)

4 – SHARING THE HUNGER

It was a little after
one o’clock
Sunday afternoon at the Frank’s household.  Lunch was over, the kitchen was now clean and it was time for their little family discussions.

            Jennifer gathered her tray of beading supplies and headed for the den.  Her brother Thomas would be going back this afternoon to the
University
of
Florida
and Shand’s
Hospital
of
Gainesville
.  It was always and forever Gator Country at their house, where they all cheered the football team yearly.  Her dad and mom were alumnus.

            She enjoyed listening to Thomas chat about his experiences in medicine, some were hair raising.  She was proud her sibling managed to help save so many lives and was so dedicated to learning new and groundbreaking techniques, some that no where else in the world were being accomplished or taught. 

            The other half of Jennifer’s enjoyment was hearing him talk about the woman they all knew would be his wife after his medical residency was over, if not sooner.  He was really in love with her and couldn’t manage to talk for five minutes without mentioning something about her in the conversation.  He had it bad, they all knew, and he’d been that way for a couple of years now.   His love for her was growing not waning.

            His special lady, Celeste, was a registered nurse getting her physician’s assistant certification license, a PA-C.  She’d gotten married real young and had a little girl who was now three.  Her ex deserted her when she was still six months pregnant and he sadly didn’t want anything to do with his precious little daughter.   He’d moved on with his selfish life and already had another wife and two children.  Celeste couldn’t even manage to get a few dollars each month in support for their child.  Thomas didn’t want her to pursue the support any longer, he planned on adopting Tammy when they married.

            Celeste had managed many hardships trying to study and raise her daughter.  Thomas was thankful her family had been so helpful to her, even now they baby-sat Tammy almost every day.  Neither wanted her in daycare until she was at least four, for health reasons, if at all possible.  Kids caught so many diseases from other children when they’re so young, they hoped to keep her away from these problems.  The diseases these days were far more than the mild types of measles and mumps they had when they were children.

            Everyone noticed quickly how Thomas acted as though Tammy was his own daughter, though sadly she wasn’t.  He was already making a fantastic father Jennifer realized with a prideful smile at her brother.

            Celeste had to work this weekend or she and Tammy would have come to visit along with Thomas.

            “Tom,” their dad asked with a knowing nod at his son, “when are you two going to set the date?”

            Thomas looked startled for a brief moment, swallowed a little nervously and glanced at his mom before admitting, “We hope before the end of August this year.” 

            Jenny knew Thomas wasn’t certain how his mom would take the news of their marriage being this year.  He’d shared that with her yesterday when they’d all gone to the movies together.

            Their parents went ga-ga, jumped out of their seats as they laughed and hugged him and each other.  Jennifer had tears in her eyes as she gave her big bro a hug and kiss.  “You are so lucky Dr. Franks, Celeste is a wonderful woman.”  Jenny knew his fiancée was a great lady and her brother a great man.  She felt truly happy for them knowing they really loved one another and made a lovely couple.  She’d quickly decided she really didn’t want any of her nieces or nephews being called bastards after all.  Marriage for them was a good thing she’d decided while they’d talked.

            For the next two hours Thomas happily shared all the plans he and Celeste had made and the ideas they had for a small wedding.  Since this was her second marriage, they planned on it being a small affair, which pleased Tom to no end.  They both worked at the hospital.  Huge student loans and a couple of grants helped them to squeak by, with some revenue Thomas got from his portfolio to even things out.  They’d budgeted in all the wedding costs for their small ceremony and a short honeymoon already.

            Celeste would finish this summer but he had until the end of the fall yet to go.  She already had a temporary position lined up with a general practioner’s group in
Gainesville
, he explained. 

            Thomas previously wanted to do an additional residency in nuclear medicine here at Shands, but
Miami
might get him instead.  Celeste would naturally relocate wherever he goes, that’s why she’d only consider temporary positions for the time being.

            Jennifer worked on creating a seashell necklace with a sand dollar as the centerpiece to wear to the beach party.  Her fingers picked up pink and sea green sparkling stones then some marbled jasper adding smaller seashells as she made necklace links with silver wire.  She created link after link of decorated and bejeweled chain until it finally became the length she needed.  Next she began working on making the sea shell and stone earrings.

            “Okay, little sis,” Tom stated after their parents left to go bowling with Jason’s parents for an hour or so.  “Tell bubba what’s going on in your life.  You’ve been too quiet today me thinks.”

            She gave him a nervous smile and sat on the floor beside his chair where she wrapped her arms around the calf of one of his legs.  “Oh, Tom,” she sighed with a frown.  “Sorry I’ve not been as jubilant as I usually am when you’re home.  It’s not you, believe me.”  She knew she’d been quieter than usual, well she usually wasn’t quiet at all.   Today though she had many things on her mind.

            Looking down at her with concern and brotherly love, he pat her shoulder and asked, “What’s wrong sis?”

            Not wanting to tell him about Scott or any of that situation she shared another bother she’d been concerned over.  “I keep getting stupid rejection letters from publishers and agents about my novels.  Even a few magazine articles were turned down recently and I’ve never had any kind of problem with those before.”

            Thomas gave her a weak smile, apparently glad it wasn’t anything serious.  “Maybe your magazine articles weren’t on topics they need right now.  Keep trying, I’m sure they’ll sell.”  He knew his sis was talented.  She’d been writing and selling articles and short stories almost since grammar school.  “Hasn’t anybody been interested?”

            Thinking he was talking about her novel submissions she answered, “Oh, a few are a little interested, but mostly it’s don’t call us or when you get an agent have them contact us with letters.  I’m beginning to think they see my age and don’t go further, assuming I can’t write with enough life experience or something.  On two where I didn’t give my age they acted interested until I later had to reveal I was still eighteen.  Most, I don’t think, actually even read my query letters.” 

            She played with her jewelry, finding herself working up into in a good pout.  So many other things actually concerned her more.  She shocked herself when she heard coming from her lips, “I’ve been miserable lately Tom, really out of sorts, for quite a while now.  I’m at loose ends or something.  I even tried to spice up my wardrobe making for a bolder, more daring starlet look.”  She chewed on her lower lip.  “That didn’t work out like I wanted either.”  With a snort of obvious irritation she admitted, “Everything turns around and bites me.  You know?”

            Looking at her as he always did when she said things he couldn’t comprehend he just stared.

            Deciding to share a little of her deeper emotions and see what he thought she said, “What bothers me most lately is I have this weird kind’a feeling.  Like I’m searching for something I need and want real bad, but I don’t have
any
idea what it is.  As weird as it sounds - it feels vital to my well being to find it, whatever it is, but it’s always a little beyond my reach and understanding.  I’m even having horrible nightmares about it.”  There, she’d shared it with someone.  Maybe with all his psych courses and experience he could figure it out.

            Tom patted her on the top of her head and chuckled.  “Tell me sis, does a fella enter into any of those things?”

            Jenny looked puzzled and greatly annoyed.  “A fella?!  Why on earth would you ask that?  A man?  Huh!”

            “Well, sis, the needing and wanting part . . . I thought perhaps it might be your female hormones or something.  You women can get so strange sometimes.  Once in a while even young girls, I mean really young, think they want to get pregnant and have babies.  Someone to nurture and love, they decide, when it’s them that needs the love and nurturing, from safe caregivers.  Hormones do strange things.  It’s a gal thing mostly, but guys have bounces in their psyche too.  Except, we men tend to keep it together a little better than you girls do.”

            Flustered and angry she jumped up and plopped down on the couch away from him.  “Oh yeah, you have it together all right.  You guys think everything in the whole world centers around sex!”

            “That’s not totally what I meant, sis.”  He scrubbed his face with his hands and tried again.  “If it’s not that, then are you unhappy about anything?” swiftly adding, “Other than your rejection letters?”

            Twining the finished necklace through her fingers she thought for a minute and slowly admitted, “Tom, it’s like I’m waiting for this huge, fantastic happening to occur, to fill a void or to make me whole again, complete . . . or something!  The feeling of emptiness or having lost something is getting stronger and stronger.  I just feel like . . . I need, I need . . . but I don’t know what!”

            His eyebrows shot up and he asked in his doctor voice, “Jennifer, you are being . . . careful, right?”  Before she could respond he asked, “Has anything happened that’s been stressful or made you overly unhappy?  You know, has any young man caused you harm or heartache?”  His face froze.  “Aww . . . Jen . . . you’re not
pregnant
are you?”

            “Oh, for the love of,” she muttered while actually wanting to scream her frustration.  “Forget it!  I told you it’s not that!”  Hitting her palm to her chest she exclaimed vigorously, “It’s in here.  I could cry for the want of it, but I don’t know what it is.  Haven’t you
ever
felt that way?”

            With a rather pleased and smirky look on his face he answered happily, “No, not really.”

            Frustrated and cleaning up her beading supplies she mumbled, “Well, I’ve got to get ready.  Jason’s taking me to one of his friend’s beach parties, so you can already know, I’ll most likely be bored stiff.  They’ll probably play pin the tail on the donkey and Jason will scold them for using the south end of the donkey.”

            Suddenly they both burst out laughing, knowing it did sound like Jason.  He was the most moral prone human being either had ever known, so their laughter eased the tension in the air.

            Thomas got control of his laughter, apparently much relieved her previous conversation was over.  “Sorry sis, really wish I could help.  I’m afraid I don’t know what to say about how you’re feeling.  Sorry you’re yearning for you don’t know what.  Still sounds like sex to me,” he said with a laugh and dodged the throw pillow she hurled at his head. 

            His face grew suddenly serious.  “But, speaking of Jason, give the guy a break, sis.  He’s a genuine all around good guy.  Got a brilliant head on his shoulders too.  Besides, he’s about the only male I know that I can actually trust with my baby sis.  Wish I could talk him into medical school, we could have a fantastic practice together one day.” 

            Jennifer caught Thomas frowning before he smiled again.  He added, “He’s certainly been a good friend to me, with his strange maturity it’s always been like we were the same age.  But I hear you and him still are at odds.  That’s been going on a while too.  Why’s that Jen?  What really happened between you two?”