Bound and Determined (34 page)

and set it down beside his own, then tugged Sterling to his feet and led him

upstairs. It didn't take long to get him tucked into bed, his eyes half closing

even as Owen pulled the covers up over them both.

Sterling was asleep almost immediately. It took Owen a good deal longer to

drift off.

He woke again a few hours later—the clock read three a.m. At first he

wasn't sure why he'd woken up, but he gradually became aware of Sterling's

breathing, too uneven and quick to indicate sleep. “Are you all right?” he

whispered, and Sterling's breath caught.

“Yes. I just can't sleep.”

“Then don't try.” Owen stretched, working the stiffness out of muscles

held too long in one position. “Come here,” he said and let Sterling huddle up

close, his arms around a body that felt weighed down, leaden. He kissed

Sterling's temple, feeling the smooth skin warm against his lips. “Want to talk?

Or just stay like this?”

“It's Christmas,” Sterling said, which wasn't really an answer.

“Yes.” Thinking it might be reassuring, Owen added, “You can come with

me today. Jake and Gary won't mind—they're always saying the more the

merrier.” It didn't sound like much in the way of consolation, spoken out loud,

but it was better than nothing.

“Okay.” Sterling's voice was hollow, empty, and Owen wasn't sure he could

bear to listen to it. Sterling—
his
Sterling, his beautiful, bright, stubborn boy—

had been broken.

It was up to him to put the pieces together again.

Owen turned a bit more, bringing his mouth down on Sterling's lips in a

coaxing kiss. At first Sterling didn't really respond, but within a few seconds he

did, as if the heat of Owen's lips was waking him from a deep sleep. “Don't

stop,” Sterling begged when Owen drew back for a moment.

“I don't want to stop,” Owen murmured. “I never do with you.” He nipped

at Sterling's earlobe, a love bite, no more, worrying the velvet-soft skin with his

teeth and then pressing a kiss against the sensitive skin behind it just to make

Sterling shiver. “I missed you. Two days and I missed you.” He went back to

Sterling's mouth and made the kiss more urgent this time, pouring the truth of

his words into it. Sterling needed to know that he was wanted, and Owen had

no problem at all in showing him that he was.

Sterling returned the kiss, but he was moving restlessly now, his

frustration plain, his hands clutching at Owen's shoulders.

Owen was about to ask him what was the matter, but the words played

out in his head, jarring, wrong. Sterling didn't need questions to answer,

decisions to make. He needed comfort, and Owen wasn't giving it to him.

With a detached part of his brain, he reflected that it would have been

better for Sterling if he hadn't slowly fallen in love with the boy; a month ago,

144

Jane Davitt & Alexa Snow

he would have taken charge and treated him the way he would have treated

any sub in distress—guiding him down a clearly marked path with a firm hand.

Tonight, instead of doing that, he'd been kind, fussed over him, cuddled him—

and now Sterling's teeth were gritted, his muscles tense, and his body shaking

again.

“Shh,” Owen said. “It's okay—I know what you need.” And he needed it

too, almost as much, and at that moment there didn't seem to be any point in

denying it to either of them.

He sat Sterling up and peeled off the long-sleeved T-shirt, pressing kisses

to Sterling's neck and shoulder as he eased him back onto the pillows again

and then claimed his mouth, fingers moving expertly to one of Sterling's

nipples to pinch it gently; Sterling sobbed and arched into the touch,

shuddering with desperation. Sterling shifted onto his side and slid a hand

down Owen's back to his ass, hips rocking forward so that their erections

rubbed against each other through the fabric of the pants Owen wished they

weren't wearing.

“Please,” Sterling muttered into his mouth, not pulling away enough to

speak clearly but obviously determined to continue repeating the word. “Please,

please, Owen. Please.”

That word coupled with his name in Sterling's mouth aroused him

unbearably, always had. God help him when Sterling figured that out, if he

hadn't already, but tonight the plea was heartfelt, unstudied.

“I want you naked,” Owen said clearly, his fingers against Sterling's

mouth, stilling the desperate chant. “Focus, Sterling. On me, on what I'm

telling you to do. Nothing else.”

Sterling moaned, but the frustration had lessened, and he let Owen move

away enough for them both to skin out of what little they wore. Owen reached

out for the bedside lamp and hesitated. The darkness was better for this; he

wanted to end it with Sterling relaxed enough to sleep, but he needed to see

what he was doing. He compromised, turning the lamp on but moving it to the

floor, where it cast a fainter light that, once their eyes adjusted, would be

perfect. Sterling's hand touched his hip, the light caress as much a plea as

anything he'd said, but Owen made him wait just a few seconds longer as he

fumbled open the drawer in the bedside table and got out the supplies he'd

promised himself he wouldn't use for another few weeks.

It didn't feel like Sterling had won, though, any more than Owen felt like

he'd given in.

Then he let himself do what he'd wanted to do for so long—he rolled on

top of Sterling with nothing between them, all of Sterling's bare skin

underneath him, stretched out and glorious. Owen's erection slid over the soft

hair on Sterling's thigh, and he choked back a groan because even though he

was doing this for both of them, he wanted to stay in control.

He straightened his arms, pushing himself up so he could see Sterling's

face. Sterling's eyes were wide and a little bit shocked, like he couldn't believe

Bound and Determined

145

this was happening, and Owen couldn't blame him. It was a fantasy come true.

Owen rocked his hips once, the head of his cock rubbing against the tender

skin over Sterling's balls, and Sterling gasped.

“I'm focused,” Sterling said to reassure him. “God, I want you so much,

Owen. So much.”

He'd never doubted it.

He'd had plans for the first time he fucked Sterling; hell, what Dom didn't

get off almost as much on the planning of a scene as its execution? None of

them had included a traumatized, unhappy Sterling, and all of them had

included elements that he couldn't use tonight. He had a fair idea of Sterling's

limits, but they hadn't been together long enough for Owen to be sure of his

reaction to being tied up when he was this emotional; it might calm him, it

might freak him out. On a more mundane level, he
really
didn't want to leave

the haven of the bed to look for something to use, but it didn't mean that he

couldn't work in a taste of what they both loved.

He knelt between Sterling's spread legs and ran his hands down Sterling's

arms, capturing his wrists. The headboard of his bed was all metal, smooth

curves and bars, and he brought Sterling's hands up to it. “Hold on and don't

let go until I tell you that you can,” he said. Sterling's fingers curled around the

metal at once, his eyes wide, some life in them now, and Owen rewarded him,

squeezing the thin, strong wrists hard. “Feel that?” he murmured. “My hands

on you, holding you? When I take them away, you'll still be able to feel me

holding you, and you'll keep your hands where I've told you to, just like they're

tied there.” He leaned over and kissed Sterling, a leisurely, possessive kiss, his

tongue licking inside Sterling's mouth, tasting him. “I can chain you, cuff you,

rope you so tightly that every breath is an effort, and that's just for show. All

that I need to keep you where I want you is to tell you to stay there.” He

loosened his grip and rubbed his thumbs over the leap and throb of the pulse

in each wrist. The skin felt hot, chafed, and tomorrow there might be tiny

bruises here and there. Sterling's wrists would be hurting him now, but it was

a clean, warm pain, welcomed, expected, not the shock and betrayal of a blow.

Owen ran his hands down Sterling's arms and then his chest, touching

every bit of Sterling he could, reclaiming him. “You're mine, Sterling. You

belong to me. Say it.”

Shuddering when Owen's fingers traced the head of his cock, Sterling

groaned out, “I'm yours, Owen. I belong to you. Just you. You're the only one I

want.”

“Good.” Owen bent over Sterling and licked at one nipple. He scraped his

teeth across it, bit at it, sucked it into his mouth and worked it with his tongue

until it was swollen and reddened and Sterling was whimpering. So

responsive… Moving to the other nipple, he gave it the same attention—by the

time he was done with it, Sterling's cock was slick at the head and his hands

clenched on the headboard so tightly that he was white-knuckled.

146

Jane Davitt & Alexa Snow

“Please,” Sterling whispered, and Owen wondered if he knew how powerful

a word it was, even used instinctively since it was clear he wasn't capable of

anything calculated when he was so needy.

For the first time since they'd been together, Owen bent over Sterling's

cock and touched it with his mouth. Sterling cried out, just once, but didn't let

go of the headboard as Owen tasted him, the flesh unbearably tender against

his lips and tongue. He took his time learning Sterling, cataloguing each moan

and shift, licking away the bead of fluid at the tip, salty and bitter, making

Owen's mouth water. When he finally took Sterling's cock in, lips sliding down

the shaft, Sterling held his breath, every muscle tight beneath Owen.

Sterling knew better than to come without permission, but Owen couldn't

deny, to himself at least, his curiosity in seeing how far he could take things.

This was something he loved doing. He knew Doms who never sucked off

their subs, claiming that it upset the power dynamic too much, tangled the

lines drawn. To his mind, that was nonsense. He was in complete control here,

just like he would be when it was Sterling's mouth on his cock, fervent,

worshipful, obedient. Hell, if he ever wanted to, he could order Sterling to

spank
him
and still be clearly, unmistakably, the one calling the shots.

With the head of Sterling's cock nudging the back of his throat, he eased

off just a little, enjoying the helpless whimpers Sterling was making and

swirling his tongue around the slippery shaft in lazy flicks and licks. Sterling

was trying to thrust up, instinct taking over training, but even at his most

indulgent, Owen wasn't prepared to allow that. He took his mouth off Sterling's

cock and held Sterling down, his hands firm on the boy's hips. “I told you to lie

still. If you try to fuck my mouth again, I'll cancel the spanking I had planned

as one of your presents.”

Sterling trembled; his eyes glittered, moist with tears that probably had

half a dozen causes. “I'm sorry. I'll be good, I promise. I won't move again.”

There was no point in making Sterling sweat it out, Owen thought. He'd

been under enough stress as it was. “I
am
going to let you come tonight,” Owen

told him. “But not now—not like this. I know you can wait, and I expect you to;

I know you won't disappoint me.”

“I won't,” Sterling whispered and closed his eyes. “God, this is so good. I

can't believe you're actually—I've had dreams about this. Fantasies, about you

touching me like this. I'll do anything. Anything.”

“Right now, all I want you to do is stay still and not come,” Owen said and

took Sterling's cock into his mouth again, relaxing his throat and letting

Sterling go balls-deep.

The cry that ripped out of Sterling was close enough to the sound he'd

make when he came that Owen almost expected to feel a gush of fluid fill his

mouth, bitter-salt, but Sterling held back. Owen wasn't sure how much more of

this either of them could take, but he spun it out for a while longer, wanting to

take Sterling way past the point where he'd tense up as the reality of being

fucked clashed with his arousal.

Bound and Determined

147

He moved his hands, one going to cup and roll the tight mass of Sterling's

balls and one to Sterling's cock, holding it in place as he teased the tip of it,

running the slick head over his closed mouth and then his teeth. Sterling was