Bound (Bound Hearts #1) (21 page)

And I did. When her body let go, she let her self-drop onto my chest and I jerked up my hips to set off my own, but she surprised me by coming again. This time, heat, liquid velvet
heat poured onto my dick and I felt it release out of her. Damn, that was so fucking hot. Her moan was hard and her body was shaking and quivering with earth shattering pleasure. Or what I hope she was feeling, because that’s exactly what it felt like to me.

I didn’t get up to clean us or try to shift her off me.

That’s how we fell asleep. In a sex-hazed cocoon. One I never wanted to let go of. And prayed to always have.

Adelaide

I woke up an hour later than what I was supposed to. I
swore I thought I set the alarm. I heard Gram’s ring tone, singing Jamie O’Neal’s ‘Somebody’s Hero’, from the nightstand and I felt like I was wrapped in a blanket of fire and safety. Courtland was spooning me. One arm underneath my neck and his hand rested just above my breasts and the other arm across my stomach and his hand was smashed between the sheet and my hip. It almost felt as if he was afraid to let me go.

I still couldn’t wrap my head around the fact he told me he loved me. I didn’t say it back. I couldn’t. I was so scared. Hell, I am scared shitless right now. I wanted to cry and sob at the fact that this beautiful man loved me. Even without knowing my darkness. What he shared with me about his mom? That was something I knew he hadn’t shown anyone. I could see how deeply he felt for her. Even after years of bitterness. He let go of the hate and anger of never been given the chance until he was old enough to do something about it.

That’s what I did. I saw my chance, and I took it. I think if Courtland had never left though, I wouldn’t have left either. I’d still be here. Stuck in the nothingness of this horrid town. But I would be with him. He was my best friend. Or I would have left him here, without a word. To any of them. I couldn’t change what happened in my past and I couldn’t make living here a possibility. Not knowing
he
was so close. Taunting my every waking moment and haunting my dreams. Although last night, in Courtland’s arms, I didn’t dream of anything. It was a peace I hadn’t ever felt before. Even when I didn’t dream of Geoff, I never felt so secure, safe, so protected than I felt when I was in Courtland’s arms. But was that enough? Was that enough to give him my total self? I wouldn’t, and couldn’t use him like that.

The ringing stopped and a second later
, restarted.

“I’m going to kill that phone. Why aren’t you answering it? I know you’re awake.”

I laughed because damn, he shouldn’t be so sexy with his voice thick and gravelly with sleep.

And what he did last night?
All the beautiful roses and notes that I tucked away in my purse is something I would treasure for the rest of my life. It was life changing, but I just couldn’t make myself stay here. Not even for him. That was another reason I couldn’t say it back. I wouldn’t stay here for him. I would become miserable and then bitter, and then I would hate. Hate everything that I looked at, every time I went out, and everyone I’d see.

Sigh.

I shifted away and answered the phone. “Yeah Gram?”

“Baby-girl, you know you were supposed to be at the book signing about a half hour ago?”

“WHAT!” I peeled the phone away from my ear and looked at the time. “Shit. Fuck. Fucking shit.” I threw the phone down and threw the covers off, in which I tripped and landed body down on the floor. “Ah. My tits!” That hurt my nipples something fierce, but I wasn’t letting sore nips stop me. I jumped up, whipping my hair back as I searched for my clothes. I found everything except my panties.

I wasn’t gonna look for ‘em right now. I was so fucking late. I
loathe
being late. It’s like a nervous tick I have when I even imagine I’m late.

I heard Courtland vaguely talking to Gram as he got up and pulled on clothes as well. Good. ‘Cause I didn’t want to jack his keys to leave and I knew I was going to chicken out on seeing him before tomorrow. I didn’t want to think about that right now. I shimmied into my sundress and ran to jerk my flops on.

“You ready?”

“Yeah sure. You forget anything?”

“Uh. Shit-my purse!” I ran to the night stand and threw it over my shoulders. “Yeah. I’m ready.” He just chuckled and nodded. He put his wallet and phone in each front pocket and he led me down the flowery path. It still took my breath away.

“Can I keep the petals?”

“Sure. I’ll gather them up for you while you’re at the signing.”

“Thank you. It really was a magical and
beautiful evening.”

“Just as you are. And you are so very welcome.”

‡

The whole si
gning was amazing. I bought a shit ton of books and got them signed. I took a bunch of pictures with authors, and readers. I knew I’d have to go out and buy another big ass suitcase, but that was totally A-Okay with me. I loved reading, even if I didn’t get to it much. But I try to read two or three books a month. Unless some authors had a series I would read them back to back. There was no other way to read them. Unless you had to wait for them. As a reader, I hate to wait for the next book, which is usually up to six months to a year waiting sometimes. As an author, I understood. There’s a certain list you stick to. Or do your best to stick to and whatever the market is selling, you want to get in that genre. Most authors, that’s how they made their living. That’s how we pay our bills. I would hate to have to go back to doing something mundane, when I could do what I desperately loved to do. I love HEA’s like every girl who ever dreamed of having a happily ever after. I just loved reading them more than making the effort to let it happen to me in real life.

The
day was a success and the after-party where the VIR’s came and we partied, well we talked books, book boyfriends, and husbands, drank, and danced. It was totally amazing. I almost wanted to invite Courtland, but again, something held me back. That, and maybe I wasn’t ready to share my world with him. This was my world. Books. Reading and writing. It was my fail safe. Safety net. Security blanket. Whatever you wanted to call it. It was my escape to another place. Diving into another story and getting locked into the character, experiencing multiple emotions, and it was amazing. I could never dream of anything else that made me feel so complete. I knew a lot of other writers felt like that. It wasn’t about the money, although it
was
how we survive, but to spread love along with heartache, pain, friendship. Damn. Every emotion and situation possible can be explored in a book. Traveling to distant places and times. Best job ever.

I was emotionally and physically exhausted when I got back to the room. I did text Courtland though.

Me: Hey! Today was awesome! How was yours?

Courtland: Mine was good. Seems like you had a fun filled day. The after-party?

Me: Was fun. Lots of chicks talking about book boyfriends, and talking books over drinks and basically one huge chick slumber party. But only a few hours long.

Courtland: Sounds hot.

Me: Ur
silly.

Courtland: You are totally rolling your eyes aren’t you?

Me: What?! No.

Courtland: Addy…

Me: I was not rolling my eyes.

Courtland: Adelaide Claudette

Me: Fine. I rolled my eyes. Happy?

Courtland: Are you?

Me: Yes.

Courtland: Then that’s all that matters. That’s all I want. I’m gonna hit the hay. Tomorrow’s a big day & I promised JR I’d help set up.

For some reason, I didn’t like him brushing me off like that. Maybe it was for the best though. I d
idn’t want him thinking I was going to stay and giving him false hope, was pointless and I couldn’t hurt him like that.

Me: Okay. Goodnight.

Courtland: Adelaide, I love you.

I didn’t respond. I set my alarm and fell into a restless sleep. A sleep full of terror and pain.

‡

So far, Aunt Maggie’s birthday BBQ-bash has went off without a hitch. It was the height of the afternoon. A sunny August day, where most townsfolk came, not even bringing gifts, but it was to bring everyone together, and have a great time.

I had been thinking about Courtland’s declaration. Three simple words I didn’t want to hear, from anyone. Did I love him back? I’ve always loved him. He’s a great friend, a great guy and after telling me about his mom and how he’d forgiven her for how he grew up, I felt like he was trying to get me to open up as well.

Something’s just can’t be opened with a few short words. Even powerful ones such as ‘I love you’. I saw in his eyes he wanted me to say it back to him. How could I say it back when I can’t give him what he wants? He knows I’ve been hiding something. Something so wicked and sickening, well he didn’t know that but he could tell I was holding back. A week of amazing and life changing sex, was
not
going to change my mind about leaving tomorrow. Our lives are just too different.

When
I got here, Courtland had handed me a shoebox, full of the rose petals. I told him I was going to put them in the car. After that, more towns’ people came and we got separated. That had been about an hour ago. So many people were here. I had just Courtland on a glance and he was talking with JR and his parents and I could tell he really did feel something for me, because a handful of bimbotic-slores flocked to him and he turned them all away. The past few times though after sending them away, he would look around, looking for me I suppose. I hid myself among the throng of people.

“Addy?”

I turned to the voice calling me. It was a teenage girl. “Yes, can I help you?”

“Hi
, I’m Leigh. I’m with the youth ministry with your mom, and she asked to see you in the house. Says it’s too hot for her since the sun’s so high.”

Ugh. I didn’t want to see or talk to either one of them. I guess it’s inevitable though. Might as well get this over with.

“Thank you, Leigh. I know the way.”

I walked inside the cool house and for some reason it felt cold. Dead cold. The silence was still and eerie. I walked into the den when I saw my mother sitting on a love seat, in the darkened room. I shut the door to give us some privacy.

“Mother?” The curtains only let in a sliver of light. I didn’t like how this scene looked. I started backing away when I heard her voice, stark, and bitter with rage.

“So you whored for him? Just because he wasn’t your birth father
, doesn’t mean you spread your dirty-

I hurried over to her and smacked her hard across the face.

“How could you say that? I’m your daughter. Of your flesh. He did shameful and vile things to me and you think that what? I willingly let him do that? You’re out of your freaking fracking mind. You had to have known what he was doing to me. Especially when he came up to my room more times than ever going to his own. Or going to bed later than normal. HE RAPED ME! Molested me. FOR TWO YEARS,” I knew I was getting worked up, but I couldn’t let her try to cut me up with her malicious words. My voice was starting to get louder and I just wanted her to understand that I never asked for that. I stopped, breathed deep and gentled my voice as much as I could, “While you did nothing. I might have been a mistake, but you don’t ever say that bullshit to me again. You’re a monster, just like
him
. Every time he came to my room, I BEGGED him to stop. I cried out for help. YOUR HELP! You did NOTHING! You aren’t my mother, not anymore. Gram and Grandpa Grant have been parents to me a million times better than you or Geoff could ever be. Geoff is nothing, but a monster, and I feel sorry for you because you got stuck with him. But hell, the both of you deserve each other and the sentence you get when y’all meet your maker. Good-bye Peggy,” I turned away, almost starting walking when I remembered there was something she needed to tell me. “Oh before I go, I want the name of my birth father.”

Her face paled and became a statue. “Why do you need his name? He didn’t want you
, either.”

“Really? Well according to your fuckwad of a husband, he didn’t even know about me. Tell me his name. Now. I’m not asking Margaret.”

“How dare you call me by my first name? I am your mother!” She huffed and puffed like the wicked wolf I knew she’d be deep down. “I said, no.”

I walked right back up to her and did what I couldn’t control. I smacked the shit out of her. Hard. This time, she was knocked to the ground.

“You were never a real mother to me. You just gave birth to me. Gram has been the perfect mother to me. Now. Tell me. I don’t want to have to hurt you more than what I just did, but I will. Now!”

“Perseus Branden Moore.”

I turned with my fists clenched and my body practically shaking with hostility. I made it to the door and just as I was turning the knob, I heard a voice I dreaded to hear above all others.

“Adelaide.” That voice. The one that haunts my dreams and the one I was wanting to avoid
, but needing to address. If I wanted to move on with some kind of resemblance of happiness, I needed to confront my every fear. I was looking out the tinted glass door of Uncle Chet’s house, I was just about to walk out and go find Courtland.