Bound by Honor (14 page)

Hannah moseyed over to their table and refilled her mother's coffee cup. She looked at Jenna, lifting the pot. "More?"

"Please." Jenna slid the cup and sauce
r
toward Hannah, but was careful to keep well out of Lily's reach.

"I'm sorry you and Gage are having trouble," Hannah said casually.

"I'm afraid this is more than trouble," Jenna admitted. "I won't be going back there."

Arlene reached across the table to pat Jenna's hand. "Don't say that. The two of you might be able to work things out."

Jenna loved having the support of friends. It made her feel less alone.

She shook her head. "I don't think that will be possible. Gage has . . ."

Issues
was the word she was going to use, but she left it unsaid. Yes, he was living with a tremendous amount of guilt. Yes, he refused to see the future as the bright hope it was meant to be. But it was the fact that he refused to open his heart to love that was going to make it impossible for Gage to ever find happiness. That was the overwhelmingly sad fact of the matter.

The door of the diner opened and Gage strolled in. Something amazing happened to Jenna's entire body. She tingled. All over. He looked so good standing there in his tight T-shirt and form-fitting jeans. His long hair was loose, his black eyes intense.

She did a quick
emotional
assessment.

Did he look as if he'd slept well? Was he worried? Upset?

Jenna knew she shouldn't care. But she did.

Holy heaven! She
was
in love with the man.

She'd suspected it yesterday when he'd cut her to the bone with his angry words and blame. She'd considered the notion again last night when she'd lain in that lonely bed at Arlene's house, her mind incapable of thinking about anything but Gage. And she'd nearly come to the fearful conclusion this morning when she awoke from a vivid, extremely erotic dream featuring Gage.

But each time the suspicions would creep in, she'd done her best to shut them out. However, there was no sense denying reality when it was staring her right in the face.

She loved Gage Dalton. Every thought in her head, every cell in her body was screaming the truth.

"Hi there, Gage," Hannah greeted. "Would you like a cup of coffee?"

"Yes, please," he said, but his eyes never left Jenna. "But I'll take it to go, Hannah, il you don't mind. I've got work waiting for me at home."

He strode across the diner toward Jenna's table.

Arlene murmured, "Maybe I should excuse myself. Give you two some privacy."

"Don't you move," Jenna warned, tossing the woman a quick, narrow-eyed glance.

The instant Lily realized Gage was nearby, she clapped her hands and then raised her arms toward him. As though it was second nature, Gage reached out and plucked the toddler from the high chair.

"Morning, sunbeam," he said. Lily wrapped her small arms around his neck and stole a hug. For an instant, Gage looked as if he was in paradise.

Holding the toddler in one arm, he directed his attention to Jenna. "Good morning."

She nodded a silent greeting.

Arlene slid her chair out. "I need to visit the ladies' room," she said in a rush. "Sit down, Gage." Avoiding Jenna's eyes, Arlene added, "I'll be back in a sec."

Traitor,
Jenna wanted to call after her.

Gage remained standing. "I found this at the house." He held up a blue stuffed toy elephant that was one of Lily's favorites. "I thought Lily might miss it."

Jenna had been so focused on his handsome face that she hadn't even noticed he'd
been
carrying
the
animal. Lily giggled, accept
ing
the t
oy from
G
age
as if it
were
a
brand-new plaything.

What Lily misses,
Jenna wanted to say,
is you.
But voicing that thought would be pure foolishness. He'd made his feelings clear. Having Jenna and Lily at the ranch only churned up Gage's guilt. Made him angry enough to lash out at Jenna. She refused to subject herself or the baby to that.

"Thank you." So he wouldn't misinterpret her expression of gratitude, she added, "I'm sure Lily appreciates your bringing her elephant to her."

With the baby's attention on the stuffed animal, tension seemed to settle over Jenna and Gage. He shifted his weight on his feet. She had to concentrate to remain still. Clearly, they were both discomfited.

Finally, he asked, "Were you able to schedule a meeting with the Elders?"

She nodded. "But not until tomorrow. Hoo'ma said one of the Council members is out of town. They agreed to see me at two o'clock tomorrow afternoon."

"Would you like me to be there?"

The offer startled her. "Why?" The question tumbled off her tongue before she-could stop it. Without allowing him to answer, she said, "No, I don't think that will be necessary."

"Okay.
Whatever yo
u want."

Oh, no, she thought. That statement was dead wrong.

Strain pulled the air taut again. Gage transferred Lily to the crook of his opposite arm.

"After I tend the horses this morning," he said quietly, "I've got to drive into Billings to meet a client. I won't be home all afternoon. So if you want to come out to the ranch to work, you're welcome to."

Jenna had left her computer at Gage's house, telling him she'd come for it when she and Lily were settled.

"Thanks," she told him. "I might do that."

It felt as if the atmosphere grew weighted.

"Well, if there's nothing else ..." He paused. "I guess I'll be going."

But he didn't go, and Jenna couldn't help but think he had something more to say. Or that he suspected she had more to say and he wanted to give her every chance to say it. Well, she'd said everything that had been on her mind. Yesterday.

Gage kissed Lily on the forehead, then gently handed her over to Jenna and turned away from them. He stopped at the register long enough to pay Hannah for his coffee, and
then
he left the diner.

Nerves
t
wittered in
the pit
of
Jenna's belly
to the point that she actually felt queasy. She watched the small group of Elders enter the room and take their seats at the head table.

Through the whole ordeal of facing the deaths of Amy and David, of uprooting herself in order to take care of her niece, Jenna had learned just how strong she was. Oh, she had grieved. However, she'd managed her grief well, she believed. As well as grief could be managed, anyway. She even felt that she'd risen above her anguish in order to create a loving and nurturing environment for Lily. But it would be foolish for her to think she had overcome all her vulnerabilities. The Council members casually chatting at the front of the hall had the power to turn her world upside down again. Jenna truly feared the Elders' response when she told them that she and Gage had separated.

Would they take the baby from her?

The silent question scared her so badly, she could scarcely put two coherent thoughts together. She would not allow anyone to come between her and her niece.

Being the oldest member of the Council, Hoo'ma opened the meeting with a formal greeting, and then asked everyone to bow their heads
in
prayer
as she asked The Great
One to be with them and help them in their job of guiding the tribe.

"As all of you know," Hoo'ma addressed the group, "Jenna Dalton has asked to meet with us today." The old woman directed her dark gaze to Jenna. "This is a small community, and news travels faster than the wind. Many of us are aware that you and Lily are staying with Arlene Johnson. We are grateful to you for asking to meet with us. Gossip and innuendo are terrible things, like mean floodwaters that eat away the soil from around a tree's roots. Eventually, even the mightiest oak will fall.

"In light of the situation we are in," Hoo'ma continued, "I hope that you have come here to put an end to hearsay by letting us know exactly what is taking place."

Were it not for the deep concern and obvious support shadowing the woman's gaze, Jenna would have had trouble maintaining eye contact with Hoo'ma. For some reason, her earlier-than-expected separation from Gage made Jenna feel as if she'd failed everyone on the Council. Nerves dried out her lips and she skimmed her tongue along them, and then balled her fists anxiously.

Jenna looked down the row of Lenape Elders. She saw a wide
variety
of emotions reflected in their
laces doubt, disappoint
men
t, curiosity, encouragement and regret. Chee'pai's expression could only be described as smug. But Jenna refused to let the shaman intimidate her.

"I have learned a lot," she began, "during the month I have lived on Broken Bow Reservation. First and foremost, I've learned something about honorable behavior. I've discovered that the Lenape cherish honor almost above all else. And that's why I'm here. I want to be honorable. I want to be forthright about what's happening in my life. And in the life of my niece." Panic shimmered through her. "I hope all of you will bear with me for a moment and take that into consideration after you hear what I have to say."

Jenna sensed that some of the members relaxed, if their nods were any indication. She took a deep breath.

"It is with a very heavy heart," she said, "that I come here to tell you that Gage Dalton and I can no longer remain married." Without thought, she laced her fingers, one thumb worrying back and forth across
the
other. "What happened between us is personal, and I ask that you respect our privacy But . . . because this affects Lily and when she'll be living, I wanted
to
come here
and discuss things with
you, and assure you
-“

"Where
will
the two of you be living?" Predictably, the blunt interruption came from Chee'pai. Accusation singed the edges of the question.

Jenna had thought she could offer to live with Lily on the rez. But doing so would be terribly difficult for her now that she'd realized her love for Gage. He made her feel like no other man had ever made her feel. However, even though she recognized that fact, she also knew that Gage would never be able to return the love she felt for him.

Living at Broken Bow would remind her of him every single day.

"I'd like to take Lily back to my hometown. Rock Springs." She quickly blurted, "With your permission, of course."

"We will never grant permission for that," Chee'pai declared.

One of the other Council women leaned forward. "With all due respect to our shaman, one person cannot speak for the entire group."

"I agree," a male Council member said, nodding.

"But just a month ago," another man pointed out, "she agreed she would not take the baby from Broken Bow."

"Rock Springs isn
't
that far away," Jenna pointed out.

Hoo'ma raised her hand and everyone went silent. "As concerned as I am with Lily," the woman said softly, "I am also concerned, Jenna, with your relationship with Gage. I understand that your private life should remain private. But it is only with an open heart that I ask if you're sure the two of you made every attempt to make your relationship work. You have been married such a short time. It is difficult for two people just starting out to —"

"They were not married," Chee'pai blurted.

Shocked, Jenna jerked to face him. "Of course we were married. You saw the license yourself."

Several Council members frowned, and it was clear they were wondering what the shaman might know. Jenna wondered the same thing. Ice-cold trepidation slithered up her spine, and she warded off a shiver.

Chee'pai narrowed his charcoal eyes at her, a clear challenge tightening his expression. "You say you have learned about honor. Can you stand there before this Council and honestly say that you love my grandson?"

Jenna's heart pounded against her ribs. She'd expected to discuss her niece with
the E
lders
today. It
had never occurred to her
that they would ask personal questions about her relationship with Gage.

She didn't like being put on the spot. Chee'pai had been against her from day one. Suddenly, she wanted more than anything to put him in his place. But doing so would mean she would have to reveal some very privileged information about herself and her feelings.

She squared her shoulders and tipped up her chin. Privacy be damned!

"I can," she told him boldly. "I can stand here and pledge to you and the rest of the Elders that I love Gage Dalton with every ounce of my being."

There! The truth was out. And it did her soul good to see the shaman's superior smirk slip just a notch.