Bound by Steel (6 page)

“Why do you keep saving me, Ryker? Clearly, it would be much easier on everyone if you just killed me.” There. I said it. It’s too late to take it back. I find myself holding my breath waiting for him to answer.

His eyes close for the briefest of moments before their blackness swallows me whole. “Atonement, perhaps.” Unconsciously, his thumb swipes across my wrist. “I’ve done a lot of things in the past that I’m not proud of, but I would never kill someone just because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. So, I’m going to give you my word that one day you will be reunited with your family. It could take months, maybe years, but as soon as I have closure, I promise you that you’ll go home.”

Just the thought of seeing Gage and my family again has me so emotional, I burst into tears. I fling myself at Ryker and wrap my arms around him. He doesn’t reciprocate, but I didn’t think he would. “Thank you,” I whisper through tears.

He pats my back sheepishly. “Precious, if you plan on climbing me like a damn monkey—I should warn you—I never got laid when I went into town.”

Oh. Crap on a cracker.

Chapter Nine

February

Ryker

Since the Hawk debacle a few weeks back, the dynamics between Lyra and I have changed. We’ve become ‘friends’ for lack of a better term. I still work in my office during the day, but at night we have dinner together. And we’ve connected on a whole new level since I’ve given her my word that one day she will be free. So, I’ve earned her trust. And because of that, we are sleeping together. Again. At times, it’s daunting. Falling asleep with the sweet scent of a woman next to me makes me yearn for something I will never possess again.

Waking up to the warm, wet heat of a woman straddling my morning hard-on is the best damn thing on the face of the earth. Until her small hand wraps around my length and she lowers herself, inch by glorious inch, onto my rigid cock. Now this is by far the best thing, ever… My breath catches as I open my eyes and watch this goddess riding me. Her breasts suddenly thrust upward as she arches her back, parts her lips and closes her eyes. Bella is in a league of her own and she’s all mine. My wife.

Grabbing her hips, I impale her over and over again and watch as her exquisite breasts swing freely. My thumb and forefinger eagerly explore one hardened nipple while my other thumb circles her swollen clit. When a low, sexy moan escapes the back of her throat, I grow impatient. Sitting up, I slide my hands around her firm dancer’s ass, up the curve of her spine, and into her long, golden locks. “Ry, I’m so close.”

When her eyes land on mine, I can’t breathe. My heart soars knowing her passion, hunger and desire are not only for the ballet, but for me as well. “I need to taste you, Bell.” My hands frame her face as I roughly pull her mouth to mine. Our tongues are frantic as they explore and devour one another. And as soon as I feel her sweet pussy contract around me I whisper, “I want to feel you come on my cock. Now!” And when she spasms around me, I pump my seed inside of her, prolonging our orgasms in never-ending bliss…

My heart is racing when my eyes pop open. I can feel something acidic clawing its way up my throat. I need air! I stumble out of bed and rush down the stairs in a state of panic. I fumble with the lock on the door before swinging it open. Then I’m sucking in air like it’s my only salvation. Somewhere off in the distance I hear Cody barking, and then a gentle hand caresses my back. Immediately, I shy away from her touch as I realize this is Lyra, not Bella. It was just a dream. A memory. Yet it’s ironic how I’m standing on the doorstep, barefoot, and wearing only my boxers in twenty-degree weather and I can still feel the lingering warmth of her hand as if it were still there. Nothing else. Not the cold or my exposed skin, just the warmth of her hand.

“Are you okay, Ryker?” Lyra’s concern is precious, but I don’t deserve it.

When I turn around I’m actually surprised to see how sincere she truly is. So I secure my arm around her shoulders and move her away from the door. I’m fine when I’m the one doing the touching, but not the other way around. Suddenly, Cody’s a tangled heap at my feet before I have a chance to close the door. “Good morning, girl.” She crouches, waiting. “Go!” That’s all the encouragement she needs before bounding outside.

Lyra chuckles when I close the door behind us. Dropping my arm, I head into the kitchen. “Are you hungry, precious?”

“Ravenous.” She flicks her hand dispassionately. “Go get dressed, I got this today.”

After tugging on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, I blow out a pent up breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. I’m grateful Lyra didn’t ask me any more about my irrational behavior. I’m not sure what I would have told her under the circumstances. She’s never asked about Bella and I’m hoping she never does.

Until I sit down at the table and she whispers, “Ryker. Who’s Bella?”

Fuckity, fuck fuck fuck!

Lyra

His unwavering gaze shreds me from the inside out. He’s angry. And I wish more than anything that I could take it back, but I can’t. “I-I’m sorry. It’s none of my business.” I quickly turn around so my back’s facing him because, really, he looks displeased. Ryker’s eyes are blacker than they’ve ever been and I’m wondering if he’s not the devil incarnate. And I wouldn’t be surprised anymore if his fire-breathing dragon came to life and burnt me to a crisp right where I’m standing. So much for a quiet, peaceful breakfast. Way to go, Lyra.

“You’re right, it’s none of your business.” I flinch as he quickly pushes away from the table. Scraping the chair across the tiled kitchen floor in the process. “I’d appreciate it if you’d let Cody in when she returns,” he snaps before storming into his office.

Me and my big mouth. Not only have I lost my appetite, now I’m crying like a scolded child. What the hell’s wrong with me? In less than two months I’ve been reduced to a sniveling idiot. I’m better than this.

After letting Cody back inside, I head into the library. I’m in no mood to read a romance novel so I grab my notebook and open it up to my very first entry. I have to bite back the tears as I begin reading…

I yearn to feel the sun on my face and to breathe the crisp winter air. It’s been weeks since I’ve seen the light of day and I feel much like a withering flower would feel without sunshine or water. I miss Gage and my family so, so much. I can’t help wondering if they’re out there looking for me. Gage, where are you? I need you! Please, find me. Please! My injuries have healed over time but there’s a constant ache in my heart that simply won’t go away. I am alone. Unless you want me to acknowledge the arrogant bastard who’s holding me captive in a snowy mountain cabin. Never!

Now, I flip back to last night’s entry and my heart splinters into tiny little fragments that lie at my feet.

The monster I once thought he was has disappeared. Now all I can focus on is the complicated man that is Ryker Steel. He’s sad, lonely, and maybe a little bit broken. But I won’t fool myself into believing I can fix him because he has too many scars. Too many for even me to heal. In fact, sometimes I think I can feel the weight of them crushing my chest. Pulling me so far under, I’m drowning in his pain. Why is this happening to me? I’m afraid if I answer that question honestly, I’d have to admit I’m falling for him. His pain has now become mine…

My mother would refer to it as Stockholm Syndrome. It was a significant topic of conversation around our house for months. Especially when she was doing research for an article in The New York Times. I wonder what the hell she’d think of her daughter now. God, if she only knew.

Time passes one tick at a time, and I’m so absorbed in reading my journal that I don’t hear him enter the room. I feel him instead. Ryker has never, ever, invaded my space while I’m in here. Slamming the notebook, I glance up to see him frowning. Unconsciously, I brace myself for what’s to come.

One hand combs through his hair while the other clutches the doorframe. He seems nervous and that’s so unlike the assertive man I’ve come to know. It makes me edgy.

“I’ve decided to spend the night in town. Can I trust you to stay by yourself, or should I handcuff you to my bed?”

My heart flutters. I’m not certain if it’s the mention of the handcuffs or the reason why he’s going that has me in such turmoil. And why should I care whether he stays or goes? I know why, because I don’t want to be left alone. I’m afraid and I hate feeling weak. And I’m even more ashamed when his gaze finally lands on mine and I whisper, “Please don’t go.”

“I’ll be home in less than twenty-four hours, precious. Just be thankful I’m letting you choose between handcuffs or your freedom. What will it be?”

I remember all too well what happened the last time I tried to escape. So I wipe away a stray tear and lift my chin in defiance. “Freedom.”

Chapter Ten

Ryker

Lyra’s sad hazel eyes are begging me to stay. But I can’t. Because this is a test. To see if she can be trusted. Hawk insisted on it and since he’s still my boss, I have to comply. He was quick to remind me that Lyra is my responsibility now. As far as I’m concerned she has been since day one.

After throwing some clean clothes and a few personal items in my overnight bag, I head downstairs. She’s brooding on the couch and something inside of me thaws. Oh, for fuck’s sake! This is also one of the reasons why I have to get the hell out of here. Precious makes me feel things I shouldn’t be allowed to feel. Ever.

“Cody. Come.” Lyra’s head turns as I squat down. “You’re staying with Lyra, understand?” She barks once and glances at Lyra. “Good girl. Go.” Cody gives me a few wet kisses before plopping down by Lyra’s feet.

As I reach out to open the front door, she cautions, “Make sure you double up on those condoms, Ryker. I don’t want any creepy crawly things in my bed, besides you.” I can’t help chuckling when I close and lock the door behind me. If she only knew this was a test instead of a quest to get laid. Would she be livid or pleased? Truthfully, maybe a little of both.

When Hawk suggested I do this ASAP, I called The Pleasure Palace to make an appointment with Sonia. Imagine my disappointment when they told me she was already booked up for the week. I know if I had talked to her directly she would have cancelled one of her clients in a heartbeat. That woman would do anything for me. I mean anything.

So I’m going to spend the night in my hotel room. Alone. If it were a five-star hotel with room service and a maid, I might not be so disheartened. Unfortunately for me, it’s a seedy motel with those annoying neon lights that flash on and off. All goddamn night long. Which will assuredly make me one grumpy bastard first thing in the morning. I’ll desperately need coffee, so I make a mental note to punch it into my GPS so I can find the nearest donut hole in the morning.

When I pull into the parking lot of the rundown motel and only see two other cars, I’m appalled. Since they rent by the hour, I’m sure the parking lot will be full when the hookers start walking the beat. Great! I’m sure the walls are so paper-thin I’ll be hearing the headboards banging all night long. I actually use the hem of my shirt to grab ahold of the doorknob before entering the office. Because Lyra’s words come back to haunt me. Creepy crawlies. Now I have a mental picture of cockroaches and bedbugs crawling over me as I sleep. Wonderful.

To top it all off, there’s a sweaty, overweight man behind the counter who hasn’t bathed or shaved in probably a week. I know this firsthand because he smells of onions and cigars. Either that or something done died in here. I am so going to kill Hawk with my bare hands the next time I see him!

“By the hour or the day?” the clerk asks before his bloodshot eyes greet mine. Fabulous!

“I have a reservation. Jonathan Day, just for tonight.” I don’t bother pulling out my fake ID because really, why would he care.

He throws a key on the counter and flips around the log book so I can sign in. “You’re in room thirteen and the tabs been paid already. Be out by ten a.m. or I’ll charge the credit card for another day.” I don’t bother wasting my breath to let him know I’ll be long gone by then. I grab the key, rush outside and breathe deeply, filling my lungs with crisp, clean air. It gets worse the moment I place the key inside the lock and push open the sticky door. Stains line the carpet as far as I can see. The bed is a pit of despair and the bathroom is uninhabitable. Suddenly, all I want is Lyra’s sweet scent wrapped around me in my nice clean bed. Unfortunately, it’s not happening tonight.

I don’t bother undressing or taking off my shoes. I just lean against the rickety old headboard and grab my laptop out of my overnight bag. Now, let’s see what precious is up to tonight. Lyra has no clue about the cameras in every room. It’s for my own protection, but I’m sure she would be livid if she knew. Once I’ve put in my password and adjusted the Wi-Fi settings, I sit back and wait. And there she is…

She’s in my bed, with one hand shoved between her thighs. Precious is masturbating! Damn if my cock doesn’t twitch at the sight of her rubbing one out. She’s covered from the waist down but I’m instantly hard when her thumb and forefinger pull and pinch at her taut nipple. While her hand works at breakneck speed beneath the sheets. I’m so fucking turned on that I’m unzipped in two point two and I’m fisting my cock. Pre-cum at the ready. So I quickly pick up my pace to match hers and by the time she throws her head back and parts her lips, I’m right there with her.

My back hurts and my neck is stiff when I wake up the following morning. I fell asleep, sitting up in bed with my arms crossed and my head bent at an odd angle. After working out the kinks in my neck and back, I slam the door to motel hell and stride into the office. According to the lopsided kitty clock hanging on the wall, it is six a.m. when I toss my keys onto Mr. Sweaty’s desk. Without a word, I slam the door behind me and throw my bag into the front seat of my SUV. After picking up my large black coffee with two turbo shots, I hightail it out of there. With one goal in mind: a scalding hot shower.