Bound to the Beast: Russian Hitman Romance (17 page)

As I drifted away to darkness, I had a strange, errant thought. It was of Susanna, smiling at me, biting her lip, opening herself up for me. It was of her hands on her bare stomach as she smiled shyly.

I wish I could see my baby born before dying.

And then, I was gone.

Susanna

We drove for a long while, through the rest of the very early morning and then later still. At first, I thought Tyler had a really good idea of where he was going. Like he already had a destination in mind, but after I was really awake, I started paying attention to signs. We’d stay on the interstate for a while only to get off downtown. Then we’d drive in and out of the streets there before taking the next exit once more onto the freeway. After a couple of hours, I was beginning to realize that Tyler was just driving blindly.

Every so often, we would stop for gas, which was good. Morning sickness had made my stomach queasy, and I needed to use the restroom to throw up at least four or five different times. It also gave me the chance to have a moment’s privacy.

Maybe it was just paranoia after everything that was happening and going on in my life, or maybe it was the hormones from the pregnancy, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that Tyler was being… weird. Yes, scared of… of Alexei and what was going on with Christopher, but it was something more, too. Something I’d actually begun to notice before all of this mess had begun.

Tyler had been my best friend for practically our whole lives. He was the shoulder to cry on, the buddy to hang out with, the guy who wasn’t just a jerk, but understanding and sympathetic. I’d never known him to be mean, but lately things seemed to have somehow shifted. He was on edge more often, like something serious was on his mind, but I just couldn’t figure out what and he didn’t want to tell me. He seemed more likely to get annoyed with me, to snap even, something he’d never done before. I wondered if maybe it was the city making him all weird, but that didn’t seem right. The other day, when he confessed that he was in love with me, I started to think that maybe it was that. Maybe he was just tired of being ignored as a viable option romantically?

But he
isn’t
a viable option,
a little voice in the back of my head whispered. I tried to shake it away and splashed some water onto my pale, slightly green face. This morning sickness was really getting to me.

I frowned. I should be lucky to have someone like Tyler. After all, wasn’t he here, knowing that I was pregnant and would only be marrying him—assuming that was still my plan, though I wasn’t sure anymore that I could do it—for the sake of a baby that was someone else’s? And hadn’t he come to get me instead of just running off to save himself, just because he knew I was in danger?

How could I
not
want him?

And yet, still, I didn’t. In fact, I found myself sometimes not even liking him lately. I told myself it was my hormones and that I was being oversensitive, but I just couldn’t shake the feeling that Tyler was no longer the boy I had been best friends with for so long.

Taking a steady breath, I dried off my face, ignoring the purple bruise like marks from lack of sleep just beneath my eyes, and unlocked the door to the bathroom. Time to get to it. And time to ask Tyler where we were going.

When I walked out, Tyler was standing by the car filling it up with gas. He was talking on his cell phone, pacing. As he ran a hand through his hair, I noticed that he looked agitated. Which wasn’t really unusual given that he’d looked agitated for all of this morning now, but I got the feeling he wasn’t happy about whatever conversation he was having with the person on the other end of that phone.

Biting my lip, I thought about trying to get close enough to eavesdrop, maybe figure out what was going on. A second later, though, I felt stupid, childish. What a ridiculous thing to do! If I wanted to know what was going on, all I had to do was ask Tyler. Regardless of how emotional I’d been or how on edge he was, we were still best friends.

Still, I hung back a little, watching him for a few moments longer. Tyler finally stopped, saying something animatedly to whoever was on the other end. He let out a sigh, then nodded. He must have agreed to something that the caller had said, though I couldn’t hear anything and was worried about getting closer for reasons that I couldn’t place.

Finally, he pulled the phone away from his face and shoved it into his pocket. He ran a hand through his hair once more, then went back to the car. He pulled out the pump and replaced it, screwing the gas cap back on.

I decided it was time to head over to him, before he noticed me and asked what I was doing. Forcing a smile, I asked him, “Tyler? Do you know where we’re going?”

He jumped a little at my voice, like he was surprised I was there. For a moment, he looked really nervous about something, but then it passed. He forced a smile and nodded, “Yeah. I do. It’s only about an hour from here and if we go now, we’ll get there long before dinner.”

A weird feeling crawled up my spine, but I nodded anyway. “Okay, let’s go.”

We climbed back into the car. He didn’t tell me anything specific about where we were headed and I didn’t mention to him that I’d been standing there while he was on his phone, trying to listen in to his conversation.

***

The place was a dump. A complete wreck. I’d been in some less than perfect places before—hell, my little studio apartment was shoddy at best and it was in a bad part of town—but this place took the cake. Even by my low, low standards, it looked awful.

There was a sign out front that said the Ranch Hand Inn and there was a neon sign below it that was supposed to say whether or not there were any vacancies, but the “no” part of the sign kept flickering, so I really couldn’t tell if there were or weren’t.

“We’re staying here?” I asked Tyler as he pulled in to the parking lot. I felt bad instantly, not wanting to sound like one of those prissy, high maintenance girls, but I just couldn’t help it. This looked like the kind of place you went in a horror movie to get killed by a serial killer.

Tyler shot me an annoyed look, but seemed to forcibly smooth out his features a second later. He offered a smile as he said, “I know, it looks like a little shithole, but I promise, it’s a good place to stay.”

I was about to open my mouth and protest. There were probably bugs in the bed, holes in the wall, and all kinds of diseases in the bathroom. But then Tyler pulled up next to a parked red truck that I recognized instantly.

“Oh my god, Chris!”

From the corner of my eye, I saw Tyler grin. “See?
Told
you.”

I blinked, glancing from the truck to Tyler and back to the truck again. I was overcome with relief. My brother was here and
alive
! That must have been who Tyler was talking to on the phone at the gas station! Chris was probably calling to tell him for us to come and join him. For a second, I was just so happy that I leaned over and threw my arms around Tyler, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

He was momentarily surprised, but then I felt his hands reach for my waist and his head turn so that his mouth was aimed for mine. I pulled back quickly, realizing my mistake instantly, but did my best to play it off as just excitement to see my brother. Which it was. Flashing a bright smile at Tyler, I quickly popped open the passenger door and hopped out, racing to the truck. “Chris?” I called eagerly. “Chris, where are you?”

I heard a door slam, and turned to see Tyler getting out and jogging over to me. I thought I heard him curse. “Would you shut up already?”

My eyes got wide as I looked at him. I didn’t think he’d ever told me to shut up before. “I just…”
I just want to see my brother,
I finished in my head.

He raked another hand through his hair. “Sorry. It’s just, we’re kinda in hiding, you know?”

I bit my lip, feeling ashamed. I nodded.

He put his hand on the small of my back, pushing me away from the truck and towards the line of doors that marked the hotel rooms. I almost squirmed away from his touch, not wanting his hand there, but decided that would be rude. Tyler didn’t mean anything by it.

We walked all the way to the end of the corridor to the lobby where a bored looking attendant sat behind a small, rickety desk. There was a little squishy toy frog posted on the desk with a taped message saying “Push me” on it instead of a bell and the inside of the lobby smelled like a weird mixture of fish and old feet. Definitely not a good smell. What was worse, they had one of those air freshener things in the room which spouted some awful, fruity tropical pineapple smell into the air, too, but not enough to cover up the bad smells.

It was enough to make my stomach roil, and I thought for a moment I was going to throw up again. It was only the knowledge that my brother was here somewhere and we’d only have to be in the lobby for a moment that kept me from racing to the nearest bathroom or outside. I wasn’t about to be picky.

“Excuse me, sir?” I asked, getting the attention of the brown haired man behind the counter.

With lazy, annoyed eyes, he looked up at me. “What?”

Rude,
I thought, but pushed it aside. I wanted to be nice to get this guy to be helpful. Smiling brightly at him, I asked, “Have you seen the owner of that red truck out there?” I pointed to where Chris’s truck was. “He’s a guest here and we’re supposed to meet him. Can you tell us where to go?”

The man let out a long, obnoxious sigh, like I’d just asked him to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders and walk across the Sahara Desert or something. I really didn’t like him much, but I was trying so hard to stay calm and pleasant.

He turned to his ancient computer, which was actually so old it still had that black background with the green letters on it. I didn’t even think you could still use those. He typed something in and the computer beeped. He typed in something else. Then he waited and waited, staring at the screen with boredom written across his features. After what felt like eternity—I’d begun breathing through my mouth, but then imagined that I could
taste
the fish and the feet smell, and that was so much worse—he finally turned to me and said, “One oh two. Opposite end of here. They go in reverse order.”

Then, without another word, he turned away from us, propped his feet up on the opposite counter, and flipped open a magazine like we weren’t even there at all.

I shared a look with Tyler who was staring at the man in disgust, then led the way out of that room and back to fresh air. As soon as the door closed behind us, I breathed in deep.
Thank God.

Tyler pushed ahead and led the way to the room at the other end. We almost reached the door, excitement building inside me, but then Tyler began to slow, his pacing turning into little more than a crawl. I was getting impatient, so I moved to pass him, to race to the door, but his arm shot out and caught me before I could. I whirled around to look at him in surprise, my eyes wide.

“Wait,” he said, not quite meeting my eyes. He looked nervous about something. “Maybe we should just get our own room first, you know? Then we can call Chris and—”

I stared at him like he was crazy. My brother was
right there!
Mere feet away! And get our own room? Something in me shuddered at the thought, and it wasn’t in a good way. We’d had sleepovers before, slept in the same room, done the same things, spent whole days together before, but somehow things had changed. Now the idea of sharing a single room with Tyler seemed… well, not like a good idea.

I didn’t know why.

Focusing on my brother instead, I shook off Tyler’s grip and said, “Are you crazy? Chris is right through that door!”

Tyler opened his mouth to say something else, but I wasn’t listening. I raced for Chris’s door, banging on it impatiently as soon as I did. I heard Tyler mutter something but didn’t catch what it was. I didn’t care.

“Chris! It’s me! Open up!” I continued to pound.

Finally, the door jerked open and my brother was standing there, blonde hair and blue eyes. The same way he’d always looked. My brother, the one I knew. Not a criminal, not a murderer. Just my brother. I was about to rush into his arms, when I noticed the scowl on his face. My expression dropped.

He cursed, poking his head out of the door and looking around quickly. He spotted Tyler and glared at him. I noticed Tyler shrug out of the corner of my eye and wondered if maybe it hadn’t been Chris on the other end of the phone earlier that day after all.