Bourne to Love Emma (RED-Stone Operatives Book 1) (16 page)

~Emma~

            I will fully admit that my first impression of
Raven was that I was going to slap her silly if she jumped on Jason again.  It
doesn’t really matter who she is – he’s mine and no one but me gets to jump all
over him.  After spending a little time with her, though, she seemed nice
enough. 

Tex and Rio are just like shades of Jason. 
Both of them are similarly built, though Tex is a little leaner.  They talk
alike and seem to think alike.  They’re both attractive, too, but not as
attractive as Jason.  Biased or not, I’m sticking with that conclusion.  Rio
has a darker edginess to him – almost enough to make me feel uncomfortable with
the way he scrutinizes everything and everyone when he walks into a room. 
Those dark eyes miss nothing.  They spent a lot of time watching Raven, too.  I
wonder if she realizes that….

            A few minutes after Raven and Rio left, Tex came
into the kitchen and sat down at the table where Mia was still playing with her
pancakes.

            “Would you like some pancakes, Tex?”

            “One thing I learned in the Army, Emma:  never
turn down a meal.  You never know when you’ll have a chance to eat next.”

            “That sounds kind of awful.  It’s been a long
time since I’ve had to worry about when I’ll eat next and I don’t remember
those days fondly.”  I slid a plate of pancakes in front of him and handed him
the butter and syrup.  He took his hat off and hung it on the back of the chair
beside him – well out of the reach of the sticky toddler.

            He slathered butter and syrup on them as he said,
“well, the Army isn’t a normal life.  So your worry about not eating was probably
worse than what I went through.  Sometimes you’re stuck on a wall or waiting on
extraction and it’s suddenly been 24 or 48 hours since you ate last.  We don’t
always know it’s coming so we can’t necessarily just cram an extra granola bar
in our pockets, you know?”  He started methodically cutting and eating his
pancakes. 

It’s a mesmerizing process and I’ve
noticed that Jason eats like this a majority of the time, too, unless we’re
talking and he can’t focus on his food.  Cut, lift, chew.  I swear he chews
each bite the same number of times, too.  It’s methodical and precise – most
likely a product of his time in the military considering that he and Jason are
both this way.  He notices me watching him and I flush and cut up another
pancake for Mia.

“I think I’d use one of those hundred
pockets you guys have on your uniforms to always carry a snack.”  I smiled at
him and saw he was almost finished with his pancakes already.

“Would you like more?”

He smiled and slid his plate forward
a few inches.  “Naw.  I appreciate it, though.  Bourne and I need to solidify
some plans, so I better get back in there before he takes over my mission and
gets me fired.”  He stuck his hat back on his head and stood, taking his dishes
to the sink and rinsing them.

“Thanks, Tex.”  He set his dishes
down and turned to face me, leaning his hips back against the counter top.

“Sure,”  he paused, searching my face
for something before he continued.   “Bourne’s a good guy, Emma.  He cares
about you and your baby girl a whole lot.  He’s seen a lot of bad stuff out
there but he’s choosing to go after something good.  A lot of us struggle trying
to do that because we never feel like we’re good enough or that we deserve true
happiness because of all we’ve seen and done in the world.  Whatever happens
with you two, try to keep that in mind, okay?”  He patted me on the shoulder
and walked out of the kitchen, leaving me a little shocked at his psychological
explanation.

Mia dropping her fork and saying
“uh-oh” repeatedly finally snapped me out of it and got me moving.  I needed to
get her cleaned up and settled in the living room so I could tackle the kitchen
and get it cleaned up, too.

As I was wiping Mia down with a wet
wipe and changing her out of her pajamas, I kept thinking about what Tex said. 
I hadn’t ever really considered that Jason could have doubts about his own
desirability or worth.  I thought his resistance initially was because I was a
single mom and he didn’t want to step into a ready-made family.  But what if… what
if he didn’t think he COULD step into it or that he didn’t deserve one?

I needed to talk to Heather but I didn’t
really have any privacy while we were staying at Jason’s.  Of course, he was
occupied with Tex right now, so maybe I could call from the bedroom and keep it
short.

I grabbed Mia’s bucket of cars and
blocks and headed into the guest room – the farthest I can get from the office
– and settled Mia on the floor with her toys. 

Heather answered on the first ring,
“Emma?  What’s going on?  Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m more than okay, Heather. 
But I wanted to talk to you about something.”  I opened my mouth to continue
but she interrupted me.

“You fucked him, didn’t you?!?  OH MY
GOD, EMMA!  It’s about time!  How was it?  Did he give you multiples?  Do you
see what I meant about needing the real thing to do what you needed?”

“HEATHER!”  I had to practically yell
at her to get her to shut up long enough for me to talk.  Holy crap.

“I did not call you to discuss my sex
life – even though I know it is one of your all-time favorite topics of
conversation.  I called because I wanted advice about something Tex said this
morning.”

“Who the hell is Tex?  What have you
gotten into, Emma?  OH MY GOD, are you fucking two of them at once?  Damn! 
I’ve fantasized about it, but John’s too possessive to share me with another
man and I’m not letting some other bitch touch him, so it’s a ‘no go’ here.”

There was a long pause when she
stopped talking this time and I think she finally realized that I’m not calling
to giggle over having sex.  Even though I will totally want to do that later….

“Tex works with Jason.  I did not
sleep with him.  Good grief, Heather.  He and a couple of other people were
over here looking at the computers in Jason’s office and making plans for a
mission they’re working on together.  ANYWAY.  He told me something that I
thought maybe you would have some insight on – since you’re engaged to John and
he’s an ex-marine.”

She interjected, “Once a Marine,
always a Marine.”

“Okay.”  Random and weird.

“John would just tell you that
there’s no such thing as an ex-Marine or an ex-SEAL or an ex-Ranger.”

“Please explain whatever it is you’re
trying to tell me.”

“Well, they might not be wearing the
uniform anymore, but they are no less the sailor or soldier that they were paid
to be.  Their job isn’t what made them a Marine or a SEAL or a Ranger – it’s
who they are.  And they take that with them when they choose another path. 
It’s a really important distinction to them, especially Special Forces guys. 
They live and breathe that job and it becomes their whole life – and you can’t
change that when you get injured and have to earn a paycheck some other way.”

            “Wow.  Okay.  I had no idea they felt that way.”

            “It was kind of crazy when John tried to explain
it to me, too.  It isn’t like the rest of the world and a regular job.  And I
think that’s why they stick together whether they’re active duty or not.”  She
paused and, when I didn’t say anything, added, “But tell me what Tex said that
made you decide to call me.”

            “Okay.  Basically he said that Jason’s seen a lot
of bad stuff during his time as a SEAL.  He said that seeing things like that
can make them feel like they don’t deserve to be happy – like they carry guilt
for seeing or doing things while they were overseas.”

            “I can see that.”

            “You can?  Do you think John feels that way?”

            “Emma, John has been living as a civilian for
longer than the other guys who are working for him.  I think time heals some of
those feelings.  He tells me that loving me healed a lot of his emotional
scars, too.  I used to laugh when he would say something like that, but I think
I finally understand what he’s saying.”

            There was a light knock on the bedroom door and
Jason peeked inside and saw that I was on the phone.  I held up my hand and said,
“Hey.  I need to go.  But…thanks.  I really needed to hear all of that.  I’ll
call you later, okay?”

            “Love you, Emma.  Take care of my favorite
niece.”

            “I will.  And I love you, too, Heather.  Bye.”

            I hung up the phone and tucked it in my pocket before
walking into Jason’s arms. 

            “Hey,” I whispered, leaning up to kiss his jaw.

            “Hey,” he whispered back, rubbing his hands up
and down my back and kissing the tip of my nose.

            “Where’s Tex?”

            “He had to leave to take care of some business. 
Rio and Raven may be back later today, though.  They’re trying to run down some
information for me.”

            “I’ll plan on some extras at lunch, then.  I have
the stuff for beef vegetable soup next door.  Does that sound okay?”

            “Have you ever had an MRE?  I’ll eat anything you
tell me is edible, babe.”  He turned toward Mia who was running her car down
the stripes on the bedspread like a racetrack.  “Mia, wanna piggyback ride?”

            She dropped her car and ran to him and he lifted
her high up into the air before settling her on his shoulders.

            “I thought maybe you’d like to get out of this
apartment for a little bit and go visit with Carla.”

            “That sounds great.  Let me get the stuff for
soup and get it started in my crockpot and we can go.”

            “Okay, babe.  Whatever you want to do.”

~Jason~

            We had only been at Miguel and Carla’s for about
half an hour when Rio and Raven knocked at the door. 

            “Hey, we need to talk.”  Rio looked more serious
than I’d seen him in a while.  Raven did, too.

            Miguel wasn’t at home and I was reluctant to
leave Carla and Emma alone with Mia. 

            Raven put her hand on my arm and said, “I’ll stay
with them while you talk to Rio.”

            “Are you –“

            “Always.  Just like you are.”  She’s right.  I’m
always armed.  When I left the Navy, my mom asked me about carrying.  Even as a
civilian when I wasn’t working for RED-Stone, I never fully relaxed unless I
had the ability to protect myself and those around me.  I knew it wasn’t
rational, but I decided it didn’t have to be.  If it worked for me, that was
all that mattered.

            “Thanks, Raven.”  I walked over to Emma.  She and
Carla had stopped talking when I answered the door.  “Em, I need to go talk to
Rio for a few minutes.  Raven is going to stay with you until we get back,
okay?”
            “Is everything okay?”

            “For now, yes.  You all just stay put until we
get back and I’ll explain everything then.”

            I turned and followed Rio out the door.  Raven
locked it after us.  We didn’t say a word until we were back in my apartment.

            “We got a lead on him.  Couple of kids called the
cops when they saw a white dude in dark pants and a hoodie steal a car on the
other side of the block from where you were watching him.  He busted the
driver’s side window, popped the trunk and threw a bunch of shit inside and
then fucking hotwired it while the kids were sitting right across the street on
the steps of a building.” 

            So he has wheels now.  Knowing what he put in the
trunk would be good, too. 

            Rio continued, “Local PD has no suspect for the
crime at this point but you know how low a stolen car is on their list of shit
to do.  But what got me thinking about it all was that the kids described the
car as ‘one of those old ones with the really big trunk’ and it made me
nervous.  He could have stolen anything on that street, apparently, but he
picked an older model Taurus.”

            I raised my hand to disagree.  “He couldn’t have
picked anything.  Lots of cars have computers that prevent it from starting
without a key inside the car.  But I’m sure he had other options, so I get what
you’re saying.  He could have picked a truck or a compact or something.  So he has
a plan for the fucking trunk….  Over my dead body, fucker.”

            “Hey.  We looked for exterior cameras on the
street near where it went down and didn’t find any.  There’s a corner grocery
that has cameras inside pointed toward the street that might catch it, though. 
But the plate number is listed as stolen now.  If he does anything stupid and
gets pulled over, he’s done.”

            “Yeah, but he knows that, too.  I can’t count on
him making a stupid move.  I have to figure out his next move before he does
it.  We can’t keep chasing him around.”

            “That’s what I’ve been saying about the case
we’re working.  That’s the story of our lives, Bourne.  Outthink the assholes
and catch ‘em with their pants down.  Hooah?”