I couldn’t sleep that night. I thought of
Santa Claus and decided to sit by my window and wait to see him
come out of the sky, to see if he was indeed true and not just a
made-up story. If Santa were real and flew through the night, then
Daddy must have seen him some time in the years he was a lighthouse
keeper. Maybe there was a reason Daddy didn’t want me to have any
part of the Christmas celebration other than Momma’s wishes. I
didn’t know for sure. I was speculating on so many things it made
my head spin and gave me a terrible headache. My head pounded above
my eyes, and I wished for some relief. The strain of staring out
the window wasn’t helping, and after I saw the ghost of Victor, as
I had so many times before that it had become somewhat ordinary,
walk by on his usual rounds of the island, I decided to sneak into
Momma’s room and take some of her powders. That would relieve my
pain. It always had for her. I went in and out without being
noticed and quickly took the medicine. At first, when I lay back in
my bed and closed my eyes, I thought it wasn’t helping, but not
long after, I felt lightheaded, and my eyelids grew heavy. My pain
dissolved, and I fell into a deep sleep from which I wouldn’t wake
for an entire day.
“Lillian, Lillian, wake up.” I heard the
urgent tone in Daddy’s voice and fought off my deep grogginess,
only to open my eyes and see him standing over me, his face full of
distress.
I tried to sit up, but my head felt like
there were a hundred stones keeping it down.
“Don’t get up; lie still,” Daddy said. Opal
came and placed a cool cloth on my head.
“Why do I feel like this Daddy?” I
moaned.
“The powders. Momma’s powders. Lillian, why
did you take it?” he asked desperately, holding my weak hand in
his.
I couldn’t recall what he was talking about;
I didn’t remember anything about Momma’s powders. He saw how
confused I was and moved so Opal could sit beside me on the
bed.
“You went into your momma’s room and took her
powders. Do you remember?”
Then it came to me. The terrible headache
that wouldn’t go away.
“I didn’t feel well; I thought I could use
them to feel better,” I explained.
“Why would you do such a foolish thing? You
almost died. Those medicines aren’t meant for a child,” Daddy
lashed out.
“Garrett, don’t upset her,” Opal said.
“I’m sorry, darling; I was just worried sick,
worried out of my mind.” Daddy was disheveled, worn, and had dark
circles under his eyes from lack of sleep and fret.
“You made a mistake, that’s all,” Opal
reassured me in a motherly voice.
“I’m sorry, Daddy,” I mumbled, then began to
drift back into a light sleep.
“Let her rest. You can talk with her more
tomorrow,” Opal said to Daddy.
I wanted to stay awake, but I couldn’t fight
the overwhelming need to shut my eyes.
Another day passed, and I woke to a blinding
light that bounced off the bright white snow into my room. I was
alone this time. I slowly opened my eyes, and the first thing I
focused on was a brand-new doll house on the side table near the
window. I couldn’t believe my eyes, so I rubbed the sleep away to
be certain I wasn’t still dreaming. I wasn’t. The doll house was a
white, Italian-style villa. I slowly got out of bed and reached out
to touch it. It was real. But where did it come from? The door
creaked open, and Ayden stepped in. I was in my cap and gown, and
he immediately blushed when he saw me then said in a jittery voice,
“Mother told me to check on you.”
He went to step back and close the door, but
I called him back in. “Wait!”
He stayed behind the other side of the door.
“Yes?”
“The doll house, Ayden. Where did it come
from?”
Ayden refused to step back into my room and
spoke through the door. “Santa. He left it for you at our
house.”
Santa came; he really came and even
remembered me! I was stunned speechless.
“I will go tell Mother you are awake.”
I heard him scurry down the hall. Opal came
in and hurried me back into bed. “You shouldn’t be up yet,” she
said, pulling the covers over me. Then she called Ayden back in.
Once he saw I was covered up, he willingly entered.
“Santa left that for me, Mrs. Dalton? Is it
true?” I asked, concerned that Ayden was not telling me the truth
and maybe it really wasn’t mine to keep.
“Yes, Lillian, he did.”
“And it’s really mine?”
“Of course. Now don’t get too excited. You
are not well enough to get up and play with it. You need to take it
slow; that’s what the doctor said.”
“Okay, I will. I promise.” I would do
anything to make sure I got well quickly so I could actually play
with the dolls in the house.
“Ayden, stay with her while I make her a
plate of food.”
He didn’t know what to say to me at first and
stared at me as if I had just come back from the dead. Then, after
he fidgeted in the chair for a few minutes, he described how Daddy
came to see me on Christmas morning and couldn’t wake me.
“Your father came running over with you. He
said you were in some kind of a coma, that he found your momma’s
powders missing. He and my father got you into the boat and battled
the rough seas to get you to the mainland and the doctor. You were
gone for all of Christmas Day. I was up in the light tower manning
the light when I saw the rowboat. You were brought back to bed; the
doctor told them you would wake when the powders wore off. He
couldn’t say how long it would take, or if you would die in your
sleep.”
I sat in bed, full of dread at what I had put
Daddy through. When I took the medicine, I’d never realized it
would do me any harm—that I might never recover and possibly die.
It was careless and irresponsible, and I wanted more than anything
to apologize to Daddy.
He didn’t come see me until late that day. I
had been sitting up in bed all day, waiting for him. The skies
outside my bedroom window turned from pink, to orange, then a fiery
red, and then slowly spilled into a dark red, until the sky ended
up a midnight blue color, the same exact color of Ayden’s eyes.
Daddy was the last of many visitors that day. Opal came twice with
plates full of food, Ayden came often to play a game of checkers,
and Heath stopped in to say hello and see if I was feeling
better.
“What do you think of the doll house Santa
brought you?” he asked, standing at the foot of my bed with his hat
in his hand.
“It’s wonderful. I am so lucky,” I said.
“I’m glad you are better, Lillian. You gave
us all quite a scare.”
I didn’t know what to say, except, “I made a
terrible mistake.”
“We all make mistakes. Just be careful next
time.” Heath said it in a fatherly way, in a manner that didn’t
equal his age.
I gave Heath the same promise I gave to Daddy
when he came in.
“My world would have ended then and there if
you were taken from me,” he said, gazing deep into my eyes. “Your
momma and I wanted you in the worst of ways. When she was carrying
you, we prayed to have a baby girl. When you were born, it was the
happiest day of my life. I need to get to Heaven before you and
before Momma, so I can show you both the way when it’s your time.
Please don’t go before me,” he pleaded, not imagining at the time
that his worst fears were already on their way to be.
_______________
The very night after Opal’s mother and father
tragically died in the sinking of the great ship Atlantic, Opal
went into labor a month late. Edward and Ayden went to the mainland
to bring the doctor back to the island to deliver the baby. Since
Momma couldn’t stay by Opal during her excruciating hours of labor,
Heath tended to her. Daddy was up in the tower, manning the light.
I had been in their house for some time, there for any support
needed, but as the labor dragged on and Opal’s screaming and
moaning intensified, I became afraid and could no longer listen to
it. She cried out for help; she called for God to take the pain
away. I covered my ears, unable to bear the torment she was going
through. How could any woman want to go through such agony?
Heath came outside, to where I stood huddled
close to the house, shielding myself from the cold breeze. “Are
they back yet?” he asked with grave concern.
“No.”
“She is going to have the baby soon. She is
calling for the doctor. I don’t know what to do. I have read only a
small portion about birth in my medical books.”
Heath wasn’t his usual confident self. He was
afraid for his mother and feared if the doctor didn’t arrive, he
would have to take over and deliver his own sibling.
From inside, Opal screamed for Heath. He
swung around and ran back in. Opal let out a sound I had never
heard before, an agonizing shriek that went right through me, and
then there was silence. For a moment, I listened for the cry of a
baby, but I heard nothing. My heart stopped. I dreaded that
something had gone terribly wrong. I ran in and was about to go
into the room, trembling and afraid of what I might see, but Heath
threw the door open just as I’d gathered enough courage, and with
the brand new baby in his arms, announced, “It’s a girl!”
I couldn’t believe my eyes. She was a
beautiful baby—a big baby—in Heath’s loving arms.
“Meet my new baby sister, Elizabeth Ann
Dalton.”
I reached out and allowed the baby to grasp
my finger. Just then, Edward and Ayden rushed in, the doctor only
steps behind, and stopped in their tracks when they saw the newborn
with Heath. The doctor hurried in and went to Opal.
“What is it? A boy or a girl?” Edward asked
as he lovingly gazed at the baby.
Heath carefully handed him the bundle, then
said to his father, “You have a daughter.”
Tears came to Edward’s eyes as he proudly
held his new child. Ayden peered up at her, but he was afraid to
touch her. Opal called for Edward. An enormous grin on his face, he
went in to see his beloved wife. The doctor gave them both a clean
bill of health, and while he was on the island, went to check on
Momma. Ayden stayed in the tower while Daddy went with the doctor
to see Momma. I stayed with Heath and made Opal a plate of food,
which he took in to her.
“You were wonderful,” I said as he sat in the
chair beside the fire. Heath was amazed with himself, and his
confidence in a career as a doctor returned.
“I could have never imagined that birth could
be such a miracle. Of course, I knew it in my mind, but to actually
witness it, to see the baby take her first breath—” Heath looked
off, as if in his mind, he was reliving it all over again.
I placed a hand on his shoulder, and said,
“Your mother was lucky to have you.” He glanced up at me, his eye
full of optimism for what life could offer, and he placed his hand
on top of mine. The warmth I felt ignited a spark in me that made
me tingle all over. Heath appreciated my compliment and thanked me,
but his hand lingered, and I couldn’t tell if it was deliberate or
not. I liked the way it felt and remained beside him until he
eventually slid his hand into his lap. The evening was remarkable,
like a dream. We had a new baby on the island, Opal was fine and
resting, and Heath had found the dream that had once been lost to
the harsh reality of life on Jasper Island. It was hard not to be
drawn to his enthusiastic energy and true passion, as it was
difficult to fight the urge to admire his good looks and charm, and
fall madly in love with him.
It was a new experience to have a baby on the
island. I had never been around babies before and wasn’t certain I
would like them. But Elizabeth captured my heart from the moment
she grasped her tiny finger around mine and wouldn’t let go. Her
eyes were as translucent as Heath’s, and she had his uncontrollably
curly hair, though her features were similar to Ayden’s. To my
delight, on days that there was no school or we couldn’t get to the
mainland, due to bad weather, Opal let me care for Elizabeth. I sat
with her by the fire, softly singing Momma’s favorite hymns to her.
She always stared up at me with wide, fascinated eyes and drank in
everything about me. When she was able to coordinate her pudgy,
dimpled hands, she would reach out and touch my face. I liked
everything about Elizabeth, from the way she smiled at me, as if I
were the most amazing person in the world, to the way she smelled
of soft baby powder. She made all kinds of funny faces, her way of
expressing herself. She never cried, not once, not even when she
was born.
“She is unusually quiet,” Opal had said with
a worried frown.
By the time Elizabeth turned two, Opal’s
general concerns grew specific, and she told me one day what she
feared.
“I think she can’t hear,” Opal said, choking
back her tears. “Edward and I made plans to go to Boston to see a
specialist. We are leaving at the end of the week.”
I was holding Elizabeth. I didn’t know
anything about babies, so I’d thought she was normal. I would have
never guessed she could be deaf.
Heath announced he was going with them at
supper that night, but it was obvious it had not been agreed
to.
“You have to stay with Ayden,” Opal said.
“I can take care of myself,” Ayden
interjected. He was ignored.
“It’s not the right time for you to travel
back to Boston,” Edward told him.
“First we couldn’t make it for Grandfather
and Grandmother’s funerals; now I can’t go with you to see what the
doctor has to say about the baby,” he complained.
“This has been difficult on us all, Heath,
but I don’t want to hear another word about it. You are staying
here,” Edward said, ending the discussion.
Heath accepted their decision, but he was not
happy about it. Heath needed to experience what the medical field
had to offer, and he felt restricted on the island. It was only a
matter of time before he turned eighteen and went off to the
university; it was only a year away, but that was like a lifetime
to Heath. I felt bad for him. I saw how anxious he was to fly
through the next year and finally take the path to his lifetime
goal and dream, but it also felt good to know that, at least for a
while, Heath would be on the island with us and close to me.