Boy Meets Girl - Say Hello to Courtship (20 page)

The face that Moses had begged to see-was forbidden to see-was slapped bloody (Exodus 33:19-20). The thorns that God had sent to curse the earth's rebellion now twisted around his own brow....

"On your back with you!" One raises a mallet to sink in the spike. But the soldier's heart must continue pumping as he readies the prisoner's wrist. Someone must sustain the soldier's life minute by minute, for no man has this power on his own. Who supplies breath to his lungs? Who gives energy to his cells? Who holds his molecules together? Only by the Son do "all things hold together" (Colossians 1:17). The victim wills that the soldier live on-he grants the warriors continued existence. The man swings.

As the man swings, the Son recalls how he and the Father first designed the medial nerve of the human forearm-the sensations it would be capable of. The design proves flawless-the nerves perform exquisitely. "Up you go!" They lift the cross. God is on display in his underwear and can scarcely breathe.

But these pains are a mere warm-up to his other and growing dread. He begins to feel a foreign sensation. Somewhere during this day an unearthly foul odor began to waft, not around his nose, but his heart. He
feels
dirty. Human wickedness starts to crawl upon his spotless being-the living excrement from our souls. The apple of his Father's eye turns brown with rot.

From heaven the Father now rouses himself like a lion disturbed, shakes his mane, and roars against the shriveling remnant of a man hanging on a cross. Never has the Son seen the Father look at him so, never felt even the least of his hot breath. But the roar shakes the unseen world and darkens the visible sky The Son does not recognize these eyes.

"Son of Man! Why have you behaved so? You have cheated, lusted, stolen, gossiped-murdered, envied, hated, lied. You have cursed, robbed, overspent, overeaten-fornicated, disobeyed, embezzled, and blasphemed. Oh, the duties you have shirked, the children you have abandoned! Who has ever so ignored the poor, so played the coward, so belittled my name? Have you
ever
held your razor tongue? What a self-righteous, pitiful drunk-
you,
who molest young boys, peddle killer drugs, travel in cliques, and mock your parents. Who gave you the boldness to rig elections, foment revolutions, torture animals, and worship demons? Does the list never end! Splitting families, raping virgins, acting smugly, playing the pimp-buying politicians, practicing exhortation, filming pornography, accepting bribes. You have burned down buildings, perfected terrorist tactics, founded false religions, traded in slaves-relishing each morsel and bragging about it all. I hate,
loathe
these things in you! Disgust for everything about you consumes me! Can you not feel my wrath?"

Of course the Son is innocent. He is blamelessness itself. The Father knows this. But the divine pair have an agreement, and the unthinkable must now take place.

The Father watches as his hearts treasure, the mirror-image of himself, sinks drowning into raw, liquid sin. Jehovah's stored rage against humankind from every century explodes in a single direction.

"Father! Father! Why have you forsaken me?!"

But heaven stops its ears. The Son stares up at the One who cannot, who will not, reach down or reply.

The Trinity had planned it. The Son endured it. The Spirit enabled him. The Father rejected the Son whom he loved. Jesus, the God-man from Nazareth, perished. The Father accepted his sacrifice for sin and was satisfied. The Rescue was accomplished.

Don't move too quickly from this scene. Keep gazing.

The Rescue accomplished here was for
you.
John Stott writes, "Before we can begin to see the cross as something done
for
us (leading us to faith and worship), we have to see it as something done
by
us (leadingus to repentance).... As we face the cross, then, we can say to ourselves both
ll
did it; my sins sent Him there,' and 'He did it; His love took Him there.'"

Did you see your own offenses on the list of sins that necessitated the Cross? If not, name them yourself. Name your darkest sin. Now reflect on the fact that Christ bore the punishment for
that
sin. He took the punishment you deserved. Do you feel His passionate and specific love for
you?
He died for you. He was condemned and cursed so that you could go free-He was forsaken by God so that you would never be forsaken (Hebrews 13:5).

That's what Jesus' death on the cross has to do with our past sexual sin
right now.

Before we can embrace the grace and forgiveness shown us through Christ's atoning death, we have to forsake all the
wrong
ways of thinking and living that many of us have adopted- wrong ways that attempt to deal with sin apart from the Cross.

Let's look at the three wrong and ineffective ways man tries to deal with past sin and compare them with the strikingly different way that God revealed at Calvary.

1.
Minimizing Sin

Man's way is to minimize sin. We try to escape our guilt by pretending that what we have done really isn't so bad. We change our morals to fit our behavior. We downplay sin and never call it what it really is.. Instead, we say that we were "wild" when we were young. We blame our actions on our unseen and unaccountable "hormones." Sin isn't so serious, we assure ourselves. Besides, "we're only human."

But the Cross declares that sin is
serious.
God never downplays it. Sexual sin is the abuse of our bodies, which are made in His image-it is high treason against our almighty Maker. In fact, it's such a big deal that the only way for it to be justly dealt with is either for us sinners to spend an eternity in hell, or for the Son of God to receive the full wrath of God in our place. The Cross shows that our sin and guiltiness can't be minimized.

2.
Ignoring Holiness

Another wrong way man excuses sin is to ignore God's holiness -to assume that God is as tolerant of sin as we are. This approach is most popular among "religious people," who would never
completely
reject God, but still don't want to be bothered

Again, the Cross contradicts man's approach. It shows that God's holiness can't be ignored. The torture and suffering inflicted on Jesus show just how much God hates our sin. God says, "These things you have done and I kept silent; you thought I was altogether like you. But I will rebuke you and accuse you to your face" (Psalm 50:21). God isn't like us. He's holy. And His standards haven't changed over time. He hasn't succumbed to popular opinion or decreased His holiness. He
remains
holy. The Cross reveals just how holy He is.

3.
Living Self-Righteously

Man's third wrong approach to sin is self-righteousness. This can be expressed in several different ways. It's seen in the life of the person who is shocked that he was capable of sinning. "I just can't believe 1 did it," he says. Why is he so surprised? Because he self-righteously viewed himself as
basically good
instead of
inherently wicked.
Sadly, his grief over sin isn't because he has disobeyed God, but because he has failed to live up to his own inflated opinion of himself.

Self-righteousness is also expressed by the person who refuses to accept God's forgiveness. "I just can't forgive myself," she says. "Maybe God can, but I can't." It might appear pious, but statements like these are really a form of reverse pride that says, "My standards are higher than God's." Instead of humbly acknowledging that her sin was against God and that only He can wipe it away, she tries to become her own savior. She tries to bear her own punishment, pay penance by wallowing in guilt or doing good deeds, or add to God's favor through obedience.

The Cross humbles us. The only way God could give us right standing before Him was to transfer our guilt to Jesus and impute Jesus' perfect record to us.

Not only do minimizing sin, ignoring God's holiness, and living self-righteously not work, they can destroy your relationship. If you have past sexual sin to confess, minimizing it will also trivialize the preciousness of God's gift of pure sex in marriage. If sexual sin is no big deal, sexual purity is no big deal either. In the same way, ignoring God's holiness sets your marriage up for disaster. If God doesn't care about your past unfaithfulness, what motivation do either of you have to be faithful after you're married? Self-righteousness is also poisonous. A marriage that isn't built around the Cross will be devoid of the grace, mercy, and humility that come when both husband and wife recognize their need for a savior.

Transformed

You might be thinking, "Is all this talk about the Cross and my sin supposed to be good news?" Yes, it is! When we see just how dire our situation really is, the Great Rescue becomes all the more incredible.

Several years ago after 1 had finished speaking at a conference, a lovely woman came to the platform. She obviously wanted to speak to me and the moment I turned to her, tears welled up in her eyes. We made our way to a room where we could talk privately. It was clear from looking at her that she was sensitive but tortured. She sobbed as she told me the following story.

Years before, she and her fiance (to whom she was now married) had been the youth workers at a large conservative church. They were a well-known couple and had an extraordinary impact on the young people. Everyone looked up to them and admired them tremendously. A few months before they were to be married they began having sexual relations. That left them burdened enough with a sense of guilt and hypocrisy. But then she discovered she was pregnant. "You can't imagine what the implications would have been of admitting this to our church," she said. "To confess that were preaching one thing and living another would have been intolerable. The congregation was so conservative and

had never been touched by any scandal. We felt they wouldn't be able to handle knowing about our situation. Nor could we bear the humiliation.

"So we made the most excruciating decision I have ever made. 1 had an abortion. My wedding day was the worst day of my entire life. Everyone in the church was smiling at me, thinking me a bride beaming in innocence. But do you know what was going through my

She was sobbing so deeply that she could not speak. As I put my arms around her a thought came to me very strongly. But I was afraid to say it. 1 knew if it was not from God that it could be very destructive. So I prayed silently for the wisdom to help her.

She continued. "I just can't believe that I could do something so horrible. How could I have murdered an innocent life? How is it possible I could do such a thing? I love my husband; we have four beautiful children. I know the Bible says that God forgives all of our sins. But I can't forgive myself! I've confessed this sin a thousand times, and I still feel such shame and sorrow. The thought that haunts me the most is
how
could I murder an innocent life?"

I took a deep breath and said what I had been thinking. "I don't know why you are so surprised. This isn't the first time your sin has led to death; it's the second." She looked at me in utter amazement. "My dear friend," I continued, "when you look at the cross, all of us show up as crucifiers. Religious or nonreligious, good or bad, aborters or nonaborters-all of us are responsible for the death of the only innocent who ever lived. Jesus died for all of our sins-past, present, and future. Do you think there are any sins of yours that Jesus didn't have to die for? The very sin of pride that caused you to destroy your child is what killed Christ as well. It does not matter that