Boyfriend (9 page)

“Want to order pizza?” she asked after a moment.

I smiled and nodded. 

At least I could pretend I was. 

***

The afternoon after my last final, Kerry and I had lunch in a pavilion at Rock Creek Park, a large park in D.C.   It had been two weeks since my mother had called, and I couldn’t get Natalie out of my head.  Kerry had made us lunch to celebrate the end of the school year and also to cheer me up.  She made baked ham and cheddar sandwiches and cookies.  I loved Kerry, but she was a horrible cook.  I knew from the minute she told me she was trying a recipe she had seen on a cooking show, it would be bad.  I was right.  With each bite of the sandwich she made, my mouth filled with partially melted butter and salt.  She kept looking at me and frowning as I ate, barely touching her own sandwich.

“I think I should have heated it longer or put some more cheese or something on it.” She slumped where she sat poking at her sandwich.  “I think I also put way too much salt on it.  The recipe probably said a teaspoon and I might have used a tablespoon,” she continued staring at me, my cheeks full of sandwich.  I was trying to talk myself into swallowing but feared I would instantly die of a heart attack. 

“It’s good, baby,” I lied, forcing a large chunk of sandwich down my throat. 

Shit, that’s nasty,
I thought as the food slid its way down.

“The cookies are much better.” She pulled a tin of cookies out of the big bag she had packed. 

I leaned over and kissed her.  “You’re amazing, baby.” 

She laughed.  “That’s how I know you love me,” she started.  “You eat my nasty food and tell me it’s good.”

I laughed and kissed her again.  This time I pulled her close to me.  She kissed me back and pulled away, gesturing to a family spread out on a blanket in the grass not too far from where we sat.  A couple sat on a blanket with their legs stretched as their three children ran in circles around them.  “Slow down!” their mother yelled.

“They aren’t paying attention to us,” I said trying to pull her back towards me.

“Nate…” she protested.

I shrugged, turning back to my sandwich.

“I’m going to practice over the summer and by the time I come back, I’m going to cook you a meal so delicious you will be licking your plate,” she said after a moment, watching me take another bite.

“Come back?” I asked.  “Come back from where? Aren’t you staying here for the summer?” In two weeks, summer courses would start, and at Kerry’s suggestion, I was carrying a full course load so I could graduate on time.  As far as I knew, she had enrolled too.  Just one week ago, Kerry and I were looking at apartments she could sublet in D.C. for when the dorms closed. 

“I am,” she started.  “My dad just… well, you know…”

I took the last bite of my sandwich and chewed it slowly, waiting for her to continue.

“My dad’s firm hires summer associates every year.  You know, kids in law school?” She continued, “Well, they have an intern position in their Labor and Employment department at his office in New York, and he offered me the position.”

I laughed.  Score one for Dad, I thought.  I was positive the sudden job opportunity was a way for Kerry’s Dad to get her away from me.

“It’s not for the whole summer,” she said tugging at her ponytail.  “It’s just for six weeks at the beginning of the summer.”

“Seriously, Kerry?” I said laughing.  I could feel myself getting angry. “
Just
six weeks? When were you going to tell me about this?”

“I just found out, Nate,” she whispered, her eyes bouncing over to the family sitting in the grass.

“Just?”  I looked in her eyes, praying she wouldn’t lie to me.  “We’ve been together for the past two days.”

“I mean, I knew he was looking into it for a few weeks, but last night he called me and told me it was definite.”  She reached her hand across the table trying to touch mine.  I sat back in my seat, pulling my hand away and placing it on my lap.

“When do you start?”

“A week from Monday.”

“Wow, it’s Sunday, Kerry.”

“Baby, you know I want to stay here.  It’s just his law firm never hires college students and my dad figured it would put me at an advantage in getting into law school...”

“It’s cool.  Congratulations.” I didn’t need her to explain why the opportunity was more important than what we had.  With everything she had learned about me, I knew it was only a matter of time before Kerry would find a way out of the relationship.  I could hear the ticking of the clock every time we kissed.

“I’m going to miss you so much.”

“It’s cool, Kerry.” I stood up.  “Let’s get out of here.  I forgot I was supposed to help Phil pick up some stuff for the apartment,” I lied.

“Oh, yeah?” she said, standing.  I nodded and she started to pack everything up.  We barely spoke during the ride back to her dorm. 

CHAPTER NINE

I didn’t talk to Kerry again until the day before she was supposed to leave.  I ignored her calls and texts and picked up my hours at work.  I knew why she had taken the internship.  What I didn’t understand was why she waited so long to tell me.  She had pushed me so hard to be honest but she couldn’t do the same for me. 

What I needed more than anything was to get high.  But with summer classes starting in a week, I knew if I went down that road, I wasn’t going to graduate on time.  Phil had gotten an internship at an investment firm in the D.C. area, so he was also staying through the summer.   Unlike me, Phil could spend the night getting high and show up to work as if he had slept twelve hours.

The morning before Kerry was supposed to leave, I finally picked up her call.  Her parents were in town to help her move and she wanted to know if I wanted to finally meet them.  They would be having dinner at The Capital Grille, an upscale restaurant not far from campus.  Kerry apologized for waiting so long to tell me about New York and left it up to me whether I felt comfortable enough to go.  I agreed to meet them at the restaurant for dessert after I got off from work.  She hesitated but agreed. 

When I arrived at the restaurant, I was nervous.  It felt like I was treading through quicksand as I followed the waitress to Kerry’s family’s table.  A part of me expected them not to like me but another part of me hoped they would.  Kerry had become the most important part of my world.  I was ashamed at how much I just wanted to be a part of hers.   As I approached the table, I was surprised to see Jayna with Kerry and her parents.  Jayna smiled and nudged Kerry as I walked towards them.  I hadn’t seen her since the night in the club, and I was unsure of how to greet her.  I gave her a small wave as Kerry stood to greet me. 

“Nate,” Kerry said, smiling.  She took my hand and guided me to the seat beside her, squeezing it before letting go. 

“This is my mother,” Kerry said gesturing toward her mother who stood in unison with her father.  Her mother was petite with salt and pepper hair cut short and combed back from her face.  She reminded me of the jazz singer, Nancy Wilson.  She had Kerry’s big raven eyes but hers were less warm and far more rigid. 

I reached out for her hand, and she took mine. “Hello, Mrs. Wallace.”

She flashed a small smile and nodded, looking over at Kerry’s father to study his reaction. 

“This is my dad,” Kerry said as I turned to face her father, a tall man, wider than he looked in the picture.  He stared at me and chuckled to himself.  I couldn’t help but feel insecure at the sound of his laughter.

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Wallace,” I said as he shook my hand, he squeezed tight and shook hard. 

“I was wondering if we ever would,” Mr. Wallace stated chuckling again.   I laughed.

We all sat.

“Nate had to work so he could only come for dessert,” Kerry said, breaking the silence.

“You told us that, sweetie,” Mrs. Wallace said curtly. 

“I work in a bookstore,” I offered.  Mrs. Wallace nodded looking at her husband.

“Nate, we don’t have much time here so I am going to cut to the chase,” Mr. Wallace chimed in.  I swallowed, my throat suddenly feeling extremely dry.  “Kerry told us about the unfortunate situation with your parents.  It really is a testament to your character that you’re even here.” 

Confused, I looked at Kerry who looked away.  Mr. Wallace tapped his glass and raised it in the waiter’s direction.  The waiter nodded and scurried off to get him another round of whatever he was drinking.  He couldn’t be talking about my parents.  I couldn’t imagine Kerry telling her parents something so deeply personal, something that had been so difficult for me to share.

“It’s no wonder you are having so much trouble graduating,” Mr. Wallace continued. He accepted the glass from the waiter and took a sip. “Now,
you
don’t have a problem with drinking, do you?”

Shocked, I took a drink of my water, looking again at Kerry who refused to look at me.

“Daddy…” Kerry whined.  She tugged at her ponytail and shifted in her seat.  She looked small and child-like, nothing like the woman who encouraged me to go to class or take myself seriously.  It suddenly became very clear why it was so easy for her parents to have so much control over her life.  She had never stopped playing their child. 

“Now, baby, I have a right to ask,” he said looking at Kerry.  I could see her face soften.

              Feeling taken aback, my eyes rested on Jayna whose face was reflective of my disbelief.  “Umm, no… I mean, I drink socially.”

              Mr. Wallace smiled.  “I had a good friend in college like you,” he began. “Remember Robert Stubbs, Evelyn?” he asked, looking at Kerry’s mother.  Mrs. Wallace smiled, and they both laughed. 

             
Like me?
He didn’t even know me.

              “Rob’s father showed up for our freshmen orientation drunk.  Man… Rob was humiliated.  His father was running around in a dirty sweat suit, hitting on the freshmen girls,” he continued.

“And their mothers,” Mrs. Wallace chimed in giggling.  I still didn’t understand what was so funny.

“What ever happened to Rob?” Mr. Wallace asked. 

“He dropped out,” Kerry’s mother answered.

“That’s right,” Mr. Wallace continued shaking his head, trying his best to look serious.  “He dropped out after second year.”  He and Mrs. Wallace began laughing again.

“What’s so funny?” Jayna asked.  I was glad someone did.

“Oh, Evelyn had the biggest crush on him,” Mr. Wallace said with a smile.  Kerry smiled, finally looking at me. 

“That was before I knew…” Mrs. Wallace began, stopping herself.  “That is before he dropped out.”

“Why’d he drop out?” I asked feeling brave.

“He developed a problem with drinking, too,” Mr. Wallace said.

I should’ve seen that one coming. 

“I’m sure you know how these things go, Nate.  It’s in your blood,” Kerry’s father continued.

I dropped my head feeling myself getting angry.  The only thing my father and I shared was a name.  Kerry’s father knew nothing about me, and now he was trying to predict my future.  Who did this asshole think he was?

“With all due respect, Mr. Wallace,” I began, spitting my words and feeling my voice raise.  Kerry squeezed my leg under the table.

“My mother is an alcoholic,” Jayna chimed in staring at Mr. Wallace.  “And I’m fine.”  She didn’t break her stare.  “Sometimes circumstances make people alcoholics, not genes.” 

Mr. Wallace took the napkin off his lap and placed it on his plate.  He caught me looking at him and looked away.  Something about this topic had begun to make him feel uncomfortable.  I figured he hadn’t realized how the game he was playing had also affected Jayna.  I looked over at Jayna feeling both surprised at her admission and grateful that she was able to stop me from saying something I would regret.  Our eyes met and for a brief moment, it felt like I could see her battle scars and she could see mine. 

“I thought she stopped, Jayna,” Kerry’s mother said.  For the first time, I saw some warmth in her.

“Well, you know, Mrs. Wallace.” Jayna lowered her eyes. “It’s always going to be a struggle for her.”

“But the point is,” Kerry started.  “Just because your parents are alcoholics, doesn’t mean you have to be one.” She completely missed the point.  Mr. Wallace ran his hand over her hair and smiled. 

“Well, I wish we could actually stay for dessert, but we have a long ride ahead of us in the morning,” Mr. Wallace said abruptly.  He pulled out an American Express card and waved it for the waiter who rushed over to take it. 

              I was relieved that the evening was ending.  Kerry and I needed to talk.  She looked over at me and gave me an uneasy smile.  I looked away and watched as the waiter brought back Mr. Wallace’s card.

              “Say your goodnights, honey, we’re going to have the valet bring the car around,” Mr. Wallace said to Kerry as he and Mrs. Wallace rose from the table.  “Jayna, do you need a ride anywhere?”

Jayna stood up and began to gather her things. “The campus shuttle stops a few blocks from here so I’m okay.”  Kerry’s father gave her a short hug and Mrs. Wallace gave her a kiss on the cheek.