BoysLikeYou.indd (12 page)

beneath the surface once more.

The sun made the surface of the water shimmer like diamonds,

and seconds later, his head popped up closer to shore— closer

to me. He grinned and I couldn’t help but do the same as I

watched him. He was like a little kid, and there was something

adorable about that.

“Come on. Get your clothes off or I’ll come out and get you.”

Alarmed, I took a step back. “I told you I wasn’t sure if I was

going in or not.” I wasn’t normally shy or anything, but the

thought of Nate seeing me in my bikini made me nervous. Or

excited. Or both.

But the thought of being so close to him when we were prac-

tically naked was way worse.
That
made me feel all kinds of things I hadn’t felt since…

Heck, who was I kidding? I hadn’t felt any of those things

before. Not even back then. And it had been so long since I’d

had any kind of fun. Since I’d
felt
like having any kind of fun that, for a moment, I don’t even think I realized what it was I

was feeling.

Anticipation.

“Okay, I’m coming to get you.”

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My head whipped up and I squealed, hands on my shorts.

“No, I’m coming in.”

But he didn’t listen, and I’d barely gotten out of my clothes

when he was there, inches from me. His tall body, wet and shiny

and incredible.

My eyes dropped.

His boxers were wet and…

My breath caught as I slowly slid my eyes back up over all

that skin. Over the razor- thin line of hair that disappeared

beneath his boxers. Over the washboard stomach and rippled

abs. Higher to the tattoo on his shoulder and arm that said

danger. And sex. And danger.

Sex.

Up past his defined chest and broad shoulders.

Until I met eyes that jump- started something in me that was

foreign. Something that was hot and exotic and scary.

Something that was so incredibly alive, it made me weak.

I’d been half dead for so long, the sensation was almost over-

whelming, and I bit my lip as tears stung the corners of my eyes.

Quickly I glanced away, ashamed at my reaction and feeling

like a total dork. What was I doing here? I couldn’t play this

game with Nate because I had no idea how to play it. I’d been

locked in a cocoon of pain for so long that I didn’t even know

how to communicate and act normal with a regular boy, let

alone someone like Nathan Everets— a guy who was so far above

me I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to reach him.

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But the way he looked at me sometimes…

Suddenly aware of how revealing my pink bikini was, I

crossed my arms over my chest and shivered.

My eyes squeezed shut, and I wished I was home with Gram,

curled up on the front porch with a book I pretended to read

while she flipped through her gardening magazines.

“Hey,” Nate said, a touch of rasp in his voice, and I thought

that maybe a tremor rippled just beneath. “Are you all right?”

I nodded, afraid to say anything because I didn’t trust that I

wouldn’t make a complete ass out of myself.

“Good.”

And then two strong arms were around my waist and a

shriek fell out of me— one that would have made my mother

proud— as Nate lifted me over his shoulder and carried me to

the edge.

I didn’t get a chance to say anything because at the moment,

my brain was focused on how hard he felt. There were no soft

curves— there was no soft anything. He was all hard, lean, and

muscled lines, and his skin burned into mine.

And God, he smelled so good.

I shook my head, suddenly aware that my butt was near his

face and that his hand was on the small of my back, holding me

in place. When I finally got my shit together and opened my

mouth to say something, it was too late.

There was the feeling of air on my exposed skin. Sun in my

eyes. And then there was the shock of cold water.

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I went deep and began to kick my legs, grateful for the silence

that fell over me and the darkness in which I could hide, however briefly. My legs kicked and kicked, my arms joining in, and

when I finally surfaced and cleared the water from my eyes, I

was surprised to see that I’d swum halfway across the large pond.

I glanced down. Good. Bikini still in place, nothing exposed

that shouldn’t be.

The swans protested and took off, their large graceful bodies

slicing through the air as they landed on the soft grassy bank,

honking their annoyance.

Treading water, I turned around and I think I might have

yelped when I spied Nate so close to me, his head above water as

he watched me intently.

I wished he didn’t make me feel so nervous. I didn’t like

nervous. It meant that I wasn’t in control, and ever since that

awful night, the one I don’t like to talk about or remember, I was all about being in control.

“Feels good,” he said softly. It wasn’t a question.

I nodded, my eyes not leaving his as he floated closer. Wet,

his hair clung to his neck and disappeared into the water, while

a slow grin swept across his mouth.

I began to move backward. I couldn’t touch the bottom

where we were, and I had no idea how long I could tread water

before I’d begin to tire.

I moved back maybe ten feet and he kept pace, his eyes still

on mine. Still making me nervous.

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“What are you doing?” I said roughly, eyeing the bank but

thinking the swans wouldn’t be happy if I hauled my butt

out onto their territory. Did swans attack people? Should I

chance it?

“What do you think I’m doing?” he asked.

I thrust my chin up and made a face. “I don’t know. That’s

why I asked.”

I refused to keep playing whatever game this was, so I

continued to tread water, and even when he floated so close

I could see the drops that clung to his eyelashes, I refused to

budge. I wasn’t used to these kinds of games.

“What do you want me to do?” he asked.

I said nothing because I had no idea what to say, so I shrugged,

which was kind of hard to do while treading water.

“I’ve been thinking about kissing you since yesterday.”

Holy. Hell.

“Really,” I managed to say, glad to hear the tinge of sarcasm I

was going for was present.

“Yes.” His finger grazed my thigh, and I swear my heart was

going to beat out of my chest. “Really.”

He rose up in the water an inch or so, making me suddenly

aware that even though I was treading water, he was tall enough

to stand.

“Well, what are you waiting for?”

Holy shit. Did that just come out of my mouth? Was I crazy?

Uh. Stupid question. I’d been seeing a therapist for over a

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year and I’d slit my wrist. Sure, it had been a lame, half- hearted attempt, but still…I was pretty sure that passed as freaking crazy in anyone’s book.

A heartbeat passed.

And then another.

His dark eyes glittered. His hands rolled over my shoulders,

and he pulled me so close that I felt the heat from his skin on

mine. It seared through the cool water, and I felt it like a hand-print as his fingers moved down my thigh, coaxing my legs up

until I wrapped them around his waist in such a way that it

made all kinds of hot, needful things erupt inside me.

I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think.

I was awash in sensations and feelings, and for once, I didn’t

turn them off. I let them roll over me. I let them roll
into
me.

Because they felt so damn good. Because they made me feel

alive, and for once, I was just going to let them be.

I wanted to let them be. I wanted to feel again. Was that

so wrong?

And when his mouth rested near my ear, my hands slowly

crept up until I clung to his shoulders like a child afraid to fall.

“I was waiting for this,” he said.

My eyes squeezed shut, and I loved the feel of his hard body

against me. He was real. Solid.
Alive.

I might have groaned or made some other equally embar-

rassing noise, when I inhaled sharply, hot fires burning every-

where inside me as his hand moved to my butt and he held me

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even tighter against him. It had been so long since I’d let anyone touch me, let alone hold me like this. Like we were already a

part of each other.

“Are you done waiting?”

“Yeah,” he said throatily. “I am.

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I had never wanted to kiss a girl as badly as I wanted to kiss

Monroe Blackwell. Never.

Not even that first time, when I’d pressed myself against

Rachel and she’d opened her shirt so that I could see her boobs.

I knew I was gonna get a hell of a lot more than a kiss from

Rachel, but even then, I didn’t feel like I did right now.

Like I was coming apart. Like if I didn’t hold Monroe as close

to me as I could, I would explode.

I was hot and tight and hard. And I knew that if she moved

an inch or so lower, she would know just how hard I was. It

wasn’t like I could hide it.

She made this noise, this almost painful- sounding noise,

and my hands clutched at her, holding her in place, because

suddenly I was afraid I was gonna lose it big time. I’d gone from zero to freaking one hundred in less than a minute, and I didn’t

know if I could control the shit that was going on inside me.

I was so afraid of scaring her off that I nearly let her go. I

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nearly let her float away from me, because as much as she was

into this right now, I knew that I needed to take things slow with her. I thought of her eyes. Of the secrets they held. I thought of the pain I’d glimpsed, and something inside me twisted.

What was I doing? I was no good for her. Hell, with the crap

going on in my life, I wasn’t good for anybody.

“Are you done waiting?” she said.

I blinked, my body tightening even more if that was possible.

No.

Then she moved a bit— we were skin on skin. She made that

sound again, and I was done.

“Yes,” I said, barely able to answer. “I am.”

I’d kiss her. And maybe it would suck. Maybe all this other

stuff didn’t mean shit when it came to actual kissing.

Her pupils were huge, her long hair slicked against her shoul-

ders, and her mouth was shiny and open. She shuddered against

me as I bent forward and gathered her even closer.

I felt her legs tighten around my waist, and I think I

stopped breathing until my mouth slid over hers and she

exhaled into me.

At first, she was hesitant, her lips trembling a little beneath

mine, but then her fingers dug into my shoulders and she

opened up, her tongue sliding into my mouth and driving me

crazy. She was warm and soft and smooth beneath my fingers,

and her mouth was as amazing as I had imagined.

No, that was wrong, because everything was way better than

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I’d imagined. The way she felt. The way she tasted. Those little

noises she kept making.

We kissed for a long time. Long enough for me to know that

if I didn’t stop things, I was gonna embarrass myself in ways a

guy should never do with a girl he liked.

Carefully, I pulled away, though her legs were still wrapped

around my waist as if they belonged there.

We were both breathing pretty heavy, and for a few long

seconds, I stared down into the most amazing eyes I’d ever

seen, and the cool thing was, there were no shadows. No pain.

No sadness.

There was just Monroe.

“Hey,” I managed to say.

She glanced away, but not before I saw the ghost of a smile.

“Is that your lame attempt to get me naked?”

“Did it work?” I answered, letting her float away.

She splashed me. “Do I look naked?”

“Not yet.”

She splashed me again, this time filling the air with laughter.

“I don’t know why you’re trying, Nate. I don’t do stuff like that.

Not with boys like you.”

“Hey,” I said with a grin. “Should I feel insulted? What do

you mean, boys like me?”

“You know,” she said softly. “Boys who can make a girl forget.”

“What is it that you want to forget?” I asked, breath held as I

waited for her to answer.

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Her eyes bored into mine and something flashed inside them.

“I’ll never tell,” she answered softly.

She’d drifted far enough away for my body to cool down a

bit, and I moved after her, treading water to keep my distance.