Braving Fate (The Mythean Arcana Series Book 1) (25 page)

She yawned and stretched. “What time is it?”

“Nearly nine—p.m., that is. You’ve been asleep since we got here twelve hours ago.”

Diana sat up and rubbed her eyes. Most of the rage she’d felt the previous night was gone. Even the memories of her distant past had faded some. Though they would still be there if she called them up, she felt more like herself.
 

“Want coffee?” Esha gestured vaguely to the kitchen behind her. “I don’t usually have guests, so the pantry is a little bare, but I’m sure we can find something.”

“Yeah, that’d be great.” She stumbled over to the big kitchen island and settled onto a barstool.
 

Esha put the kettle on for instant coffee, then rooted around in the fridge for milk. Diana caught sight of a multitude of strange glass jars jumbled on the shelves.

“For charms,” Esha explained when she caught Diana’s curious gaze. “Though most of those ingredients are expired. Charms aren’t really my bag.”

“No?”

Esha shook her head. “A hobby, mostly, since my power allows me to manifest my desires without aids.”

That would be handy. Diana looked around the space. She was so on edge that she felt like someone might jump out at her at any moment, which made her want to search all the corners in the room. But the room had no corners. Large and round, the combined living room, dining room, and kitchen space had many windows.

“What is this place?” she asked.

“My flat, in a tower on the campus of the Immortal University.” The round space was decorated sparsely, with a few pieces of simple, high-quality furniture that suited Esha’s minimalist style.

Diana gratefully accepted the cup of coffee that Esha handed her and sipped, wrinkling her nose when it burned her tongue. She didn’t slow down, though. She needed a clear head more than she needed working taste buds right now.

“How do I get to Vivienne?”

“Can you tell me who you were?”

Diana swallowed hard and stared down into the rapidly cooling coffee in her mug. “I was Boudica.”

“No shit?” Esha looked Diana up and down with an expression of impressed respect.
 

Diana wished she could appreciate it, but it wasn’t making a dent right now.
 

“That is badass
.
You are like the
original
badass. Cheers to you.” Esha raised her coffee.

Diana raised her mug and cast Esha a strained smile. Sure, Boudica had been a renowned badass, but it had come at a cost. The title was little consolation, really.

“Oh, sorry.” Esha grimaced. “Yeah, it didn’t end so well for you.”
 

“Nope. Pretty shit end.”

“So, um, what’s it like?”
 

Diana knew what she meant.
What’s it like to remember all the really terrible stuff that happened to you in the past that led you to suicide?
“It sucks.”
 

“Um, can I ask, how did it end?”
 

Oh, right. Historians still didn’t know whether or not Boudica had died of illness or killed herself.

“I did it. There wasn’t any other choice.”

“Yep,” she agreed, her brow wrinkled. “You’d have ended up like Vercingetorix, or worse.”
 

Diana winced at the fate of France’s greatest Celtic hero. He’d ended up on a pike in Rome, and that would have been the best she could have hoped for.

Esha paled, then set down her mug “Oh, Diana. What about your daughters?”

Diana’s stomach pitched. “I remember them. Not well, just vague snippets here and there. Their death is one of those. When I first remembered, it felt like being stabbed. It’s faded into memory now, and it’s my memory, but it’s not. I don’t know. I know that it hurts even though it never actually happened to me.” Her body ached, every part of her seeming to throb.

“Even if it didn’t happen to you in this life, I think that it’s something your soul would never forget.”
 

Diana nodded, lost for words.
 

Esha changed the subject.

“So you found your sword and that’s how you figured it out?”

“Basically. I’d been searching through books, but that’s something the old Diana would do. Apparently I just had to get ahold of my old sword.” And her new life. A crazy, violent one that she didn’t know how to reconcile with her idea of what her life was supposed to be. Her gaze sought out her sword, which lay on the floor near the couch. The sight of it gave her conflicting sensations of security and horror.

“Anyway,” Diana said. “I need to know more about the portal in the underground. I’ve got to save my friend.”

“I think you’ve got to do more than that.”

“Yeah,” Diana said, knowing that she was right but unable to focus on anything but saving Vi.

“I can take you to the portal in the underground. There are a couple of Mythean Guardians watching it to make sure nothing escapes, but I can hide us from their sight while we look through the portal. I’m able to see in, and with my help, you can too. From there, we can figure out what the hell is going on. No pun intended.”

Diana’s skin prickled at the idea of getting so close to the danger, but she had to do it. For Vi, for Boudica, whose pain and rage still seethed under the surface of her skin. For herself. To take back control of her life.

“Excellent. I say we go now.” Diana went to the couch to put her shoes on and grabbed her sword.

“Good thinking.” Esha nodded at the sword. “We aren’t actually going into the portal, but you never know what will jump out. We’ll aetherwalk straight there, that way you don’t have to walk down the street with it.”

Diana nodded and rose to join Esha. Just before she reached her, someone pounded on the door.

Esha looked at her quizzically, then called out, “Yeah?”

“Open up, Esha.”

“It’s Warren.” Esha smoothed her hair. “Let me get this real quick.”

When she opened the door, Diana stepped backward in surprise. Cadan and Warren strode through. Who had released him from his bonds?

“You.” Diana glared at Cadan.

“Aye, it’s me.”

Had anything she’d said last night made him see her perspective? His past actions angered her, but it was his unwillingness to agree that he’d done wrong that really got her. And the fact that he’d been trying to do the same thing all over again.
 

As herself, Diana, she didn’t want to do all of this alone and could appreciate his desire to protect her. She wanted his help, but not at the expense of her agency. Her ability to choose her own fate was vital to her. She hadn’t liked forfeiting it in her past life and she certainly didn’t like it now.

“Why’d you come?” Diana asked, her gaze glued to Cadan.

Use this second chance, Cadan.
 

His eyes met hers, fire in their depths. “To keep you from doing something stupid and getting yourself hurt.”
 

Her heart clutched. He clearly hadn’t learned a thing. To trust him when he was like this was folly. If she was the only one who could save Vi and stop whatever was happening, she couldn’t risk his trying to stop her.
 

Diana turned to Esha and said, “Let’s go. I think I’ve heard enough.”

“Where are you going?” Cadan demanded.

“To do what I was reborn for. And it’s going to be
dangerous
. I might get hurt.” She knew she poked at him at her peril, but couldn’t help herself. She turned and cast Esha a let’s-get-a-move-on
look.

“Wait.” Warren’s voice was quiet. “You canna go alone.”

“Oh, you, too? And why would that be?” First Cadan, now this Warren joker?

But Warren looked at Cadan instead of answering. “You dinna tell her, did you?”

Cadan cursed.

“Tell me what?” Diana asked.

“Nothing. It’s no’ important. It won’t be an issue,” Cadan said.

The hair rose on Diana’s arms when she caught sight of the way Warren was looking at her. Sad, yet pitying?
 

“Cadan, she has to know,” Warren said.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Diana demanded. The tension in the room prickled along her skin. Something was very wrong.
 

Warren was still looking at her weirdly, too. “You’re destined to die as a result of the task.”

“What?” She barely had the breath to form the word. He couldn’t be serious. She’d thought it a possibility, but not a probability. Not a
fated
probability.

But from the way that Cadan was looking at her.... She grabbed for Esha’s hand. Cadan took a step toward her, something unrecognizable in his eyes, but she backed up. He jerked to a halt, his fist clenched.
 

Damn you, Cadan.
 

“Why the hell did you keep that kind of information from me?” she asked him. “I don’t know up from down anymore, and now I find this out?”
 

But it couldn’t be true. She wouldn’t let it be.
 

“You were never supposed to know!”
 

“Know what? Who I am, or what I’m supposed to do?”

“Both! Hell, I doona know. I just dinna want you facing this. If you never had to face it, you would no’ be at risk.” Cadan dragged a hand through his hair.

“Oh, well that’s great. I wasn’t supposed to find out who my soul belonged to. That’s
who I am.
Don’t you think I’d want to know that? That I’d need to know that? All so you can make make my decisions for me?”

“Aye. To save your damned arse.” A muscle twitched in his jaw. The way he was looking at her... Like a possession he’d never be able to bear losing.
 

“Did you ever consider that I’m the
only one
who can do this?”

“The hell you are. You’re no’ going anywhere without me, lassie.”

“You see, Cadan, the funny thing is, even though I’ve been reborn as a different person, I still don’t like being lied to. Or being told what to do. That, I
really
don’t like.”
 

Diana squeezed Esha’s hand to let her know that she wanted to leave. Just as she felt the familiar pulling sensation of aetherwalking, she realized that she’d rather face hell alone than stay here with Cadan.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Fifteen minutes later, Diana picked her way through the tunnels of the underground behind Esha. The soulceress had sucked her through space and within moments, they were deep underneath the city. Rodent skeletons and other mysterious debris littered the ground.
 

Eyes up. Don’t look down.
But the creepy misery of it all dulled the mess of horrible emotions that bombarded her. Betrayal, rage, fear. They were still there, but she could vaguely recognize—as if she were standing outside of her own head—that her brain had attempted to preserve her sanity by tying them up in a big, knotted bundle and stowing them in the corner of her mind.

She stepped over a pile of tumbled stones and tried to push aside the image of Cadan’s expression just before she’d disappeared with Esha. It had been confusion and...hurt? Diana rubbed her temple. Of course she’d hurt him. He’d done all this because he cared for her. Or he’d cared for Boudica.
 

Either way, he was so damned pigheaded. How could she ever convince him to meet her in the middle?

Did it even matter if she was supposed to die soon?
 

Ever since the first demon attack, dying had been a possibility that had weighed on her, but not a probability. Now that it was likely...
 

Her throat tightened, a hollow coldness pervading her chest. There’d be a way around it. Had to be.
Push it away.
She wrapped anger around her heart like a blanket, thrusting the fear away and embracing the rage and betrayal that kept her from collapsing.
 

Focus on your surroundings. Stay in the present.
But there wasn’t much to look at in the darkened tunnel, especially if she didn’t want to see what was crunching beneath her feet. The best she could do was stick close behind Esha.

She flushed. She was supposed to share a soul with one of Britain’s greatest warriors, and the best she could do was stick close behind her friend who led the way into danger?

But she had to do this. For herself—for Vivienne, who’d been dragged into this mess because of her. She had to do this. She
could
do this.

And she didn’t want Cadan to think otherwise. More important,
she
didn’t want to think otherwise. Being protected at the expense of her ability to make her own decisions was something she couldn’t live with.
 

If she got to live
. Either way, she’d be taking control now. Determining her own fate and doing what was necessary.

“We’re here.” Esha’s hushed tone jerked Diana back to the present.

“We are?”

Diana squinted into the dark, but could see nothing out of the ordinary. Just a big black chamber that dripped water. The air had an unnatural chill that couldn’t kill the reek of decay. Her nose wrinkled.
 

“Yeah, come closer.” Esha beckoned her forward with a wave of her hand.