Breach: The Boxset (22 page)

Andrew didn’t say much for the remainder of the luncheon, or when we returned to the office. Even when he did speak, it was with effort and he wasn’t smiling. I began to worry he had, indeed, heard us and what that might mean.

At the end of the day, we packed up, loaded into our respective vehicles, and headed home. Nathan and I greeted Mike upon entering and stepped into the elevator together.

“You were a very bad boy today, Mr. Thorne. I don’t know if I should let you in tonight,” I teased, attempting to sound aloof once the elevator doors closed.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him smirk before turning to me. “Oh, really? And how are you going to manage that when I have a key?”

“Hmm, good point.” Titling my head, I pondered how I could torture him. My index finger tapped against my lips. “I could deny you access.”

His eyebrow quirked as he looked down at me. “Could you?”

“I think I could,” I said trying to sound confident in my answer, but already knowing I would never deny him. I needed him more than he needed me. I needed his growing affections and the want that rolled off his body.

Leaning further over me and stepping closer, he had me pinned to the elevator wall, one of his hands on either side of my head. With his head next to mine, he whispered in my ear, teasing me. “Could you?”

His lips met mine, and my mouth opened up to him. It took a few sparse seconds before our bodies were pressed together, arms pulling each other closer.

I fisted his hair and pulled his head back so his eyes met mine. “Could
you
?”

“Never,” he admitted with panting breaths. “I could never deny you.”

Somehow, I felt there was a double meaning to his words, but I didn’t have time to ponder it because his lips were back on me, his tongue massaging mine. Our actions changed to a more desperate pace, and we were moaning while frantically trying to rid each other of our clothes.

The elevator signaled our arrival, and we stumbled out of the carriage and straight into the wall on the opposite side. We were impatient as we attempted to disrobe each other. Hands and arms tangled with clothing and bags while we bumped against the walls on our journey down to my condo.

I somehow managed to get the top three buttons of his shirt undone, my tongue lapping at his skin, and was working on getting his suit jacket off, but couldn’t get it past one shoulder. Nathan reached down and grabbed my thigh and brought it up to his hip. Unbalanced, we hopped backward until my back crashed into the wall where the hallway branched off to the different condos.

With my back braced against the wall, he picked up my other leg and pushed my skirt up my legs so he could nestle between my thighs. My legs locked around his waist and he pushed his hips forward, grinding his hard cock into my center.

He nipped down my jaw, panting and groaning. “You aren’t going to walk straight when I’m done with you tonight.”

I moaned and pushed my hips down against him. His teeth nipped at my neck while I continued my pursuit to rid him of his jacket.

“What the fucking shit is going on?” Andrew’s voice roared from the end of the hall, grabbing our attention and making us stop as we turned our heads to look.

I stared at his tall figure in…surprise, horror, terror, shock? I couldn’t decide which emotion, so I chose all.

Well, if Andrew didn’t know before, he certainly knew now.

Nathan turned back to me, his head buried in my neck, hissing “fuck” over and over into my skin. His fingers dug into the flesh of my ass.

My face fell as my heart plummeted while I stared at Andrew. How could I have been so reckless? The whole day had been one bad judgment call after the other. We’d been so good, so careful, over the past few months, but it was obvious we’d slipped.

I’d never seen Andrew anywhere near as angry as he was in that moment: red-faced, tense, seething, and shooting death glares at Nathan.

“I told you to fucking stay away from her!” he yelled. “And I told you to stay away from him!”

At that, Nathan released my thighs with a heavy sigh, and once my feet were seated on the ground, he let go of me completely. I was straightening my skirt and didn’t notice Nathan had started down the hall toward Andrew. The muscles in his back were tense, and I chased after him in an attempt to diffuse the situation…or at least get us inside.

“What fucking right do you have to fucking say that to either of us?” Nathan questioned, staring Andrew down.

Andrew sneered while stepping forward and leaning over Nathan. “I can’t fucking stand you. Now, get the fuck away from her.”

Nathan’s spine straightened, pushing him forward. “Make me. If she wants me to get away from her, she needs to tell me, not some overgrown, jealous Neanderthal.”

The situation was escalating, and I needed to get them out of the hall.

I pushed past them. “Boys, we need to get inside before my neighbor comes out, and you both know how she is.”

I began searching for my keys, which ended up taking longer because I was going too fast. After a moment of not finding them, Nathan pushed his keys into my hand.

“Here.”

Andrew gasped behind me, and I could imagine the look on his face.

I located the key and unlocked my door, ushering them both inside before handing Nathan back his keys.

“Are you kidding me? He has a fucking key? To your condo? Hell
no
,” Andrew all but bellowed.

I slammed my bags down on the ground before shutting the door. “Andrew! You don’t know anything about what is going on, so shut up.”

“He’s fucking playing with you, Lila. Open your eyes. He sticks his fucking dick in anything that has a pussy!”

At that, Nathan growled, and was standing inches in front of him.

If I thought I had seen an angry Nathan before, it didn’t compare to the Nathan in front of me now. Every muscle was tightly coiled, his glare bone-chilling.

His lips twitched as he snarled. “You don’t know anything.”

“How long have you been stringing her along? Making her think she’s different from the other girls?” Andrew’s posture mimicked Nathan’s. I moved to pick up the glass vase from the entry table to protect it from being a casualty. In my mind, I was preparing to use all of my weight to force Andrew out the door to keep them from breaking out into a fist fight.

“As I said, you don’t know
anything
. Because if you did, you would know the only woman I’ve been with for almost four months is Lila.”

That revelation caught Andrew’s attention. His head snapped in my direction, looking for confirmation. My arms were crossed over my chest, and I stared back at him. I hoped my expression was coming across as bored. Because that was how I was starting to feel about their little tiff.

His eyes grew wide and his head began shaking. “No. Him?” he questioned, his finger pointing at Nathan. “It was him at the bar? It’s him who marks you?
Him
who understands you?”

I nodded, feeling that I didn’t need to explain our actions to Andrew, especially when he was doing everything in his power to
not
listen to me.

“Yes. Me. I see her. I’m the one who sleeps with her every night. It’s my cock shoved in that fucking tight pussy of hers. So, get the fuck out of here so I can pin her against the wall and make her forget that anyone other than me has ever been inside her.”

I groaned. Nathan was baiting Andrew, igniting everything all over again. I stepped back when Andrew rushed forward, grabbing Nathan by his lapels.

“You don’t deserve to be in the same fucking room as her.”

Nathan pushed him off. “What the fuck is your problem? You just can’t let her go, can you? Wasn’t it you who left her? And what do you know about me, Andrew? That I fucked around with women over the last two years? Yes, that’s true. I needed an outlet for my anger, frustration, and sexual needs. Who the fuck cares? She doesn’t.” His chin jerked over in my direction.

“If that’s all you know and that’s all you care to know, then leave,” I told Andrew.

Andrew stared at me, ignoring my statement. “This is a breach of both of your employment contracts. You know that, right?”

“Of course we know. Are you planning on saying something so we’ll both get fired? Is your prejudice of Nathan that great? So great you would endanger my job as well? And my happiness?”

“I… Lila…” He trailed off with a sigh. “I don’t want to see you get hurt, and I think he could damage you.”

“Nathan has no devious plan, no ulterior motives. He’s a good man, and you need to open your eyes and see. Because all you’re looking at is the act, what he shows you, not the real man. Now get the hell out of my home, and don’t fucking come back until you’re ready to know him—ready to know us. I’m an adult and can make my own goddamn decisions. I choose who I want to be with. And it’s him. He’s the one I want.”

Andrew stared at me in wonder, a sad smile on his face. “Good girl.”

I gave him a small smile in return, understanding the meaning between his two small words. I stood up to someone, against someone, and didn’t retreat into my shell and take it. That’s how strong I’d become.

He turned to leave when Nathan spoke, drawing his attention. “If you want to find out some truth—as true as the news will give you, anyway—then do what Caroline did and Google my name. And once you’ve done that and found some truth, then you can come and try to tell us what kind of person I am, but not before. Because I guarantee your opinions will change.”

Andrew nodded, more sedate than when he arrived, and walked through the door, shutting it behind him.

I marveled that Nathan would share that with him. I still hadn’t mustered the courage to look him up, but then again, I wanted the truth. I wanted to know the real horrors he’d been through. They wouldn’t change my opinion of him; he was amazing.

Within seconds, I was back to being pinned against the wall, Nathan’s lips on mine with hot and heavy desperate kisses. He pulled away before leaning in and nuzzling my nose. “Mine.”

I smiled up at him, and my hand moved to caress his cheek, my heart swelling. “Always.”

CHAPTER 23

The next morning, I was shocked into silence when Andrew walked straight up to Nathan in the parking lot and hugged him. Nathan hugged him back, and they exchanged what I could only describe as some secret man-look. No fists, no angry words, but an understanding and friendship budded in front of my eyes as Andrew vowed to stay silent about us.

Over the next few days, they became lunch buddies, Andrew splitting between the two of us. It was almost like shared custody.

“Really?” I asked Nathan a few days later, my curiosity getting the better of me. I stood in front of the stove, a skillet full of ground turkey, springing the question on him as he walked back in from changing clothes.

“What?”

I waved the spatula in my hand. “You hug, exchange a look, and suddenly all of the animosity that’s been boiling between you two for months is gone.”

“That about sums it up.”

“Men are strange creatures.”

“Nothing had to be said. I told him to search; I knew what he was going to find.”

“And what was that?”

He shrugged. “Half-truths buried in lies. Same as what Caroline found.”

“And why is that?”

“Lila…”

“I’m sorry, I just…will you ever be able to tell me, or are you going to relegate me to the half-truths buried in lies as well?” The exasperation in my tone was evident.

He sighed and leaned back against the counter, his hands resting on the edge. “No. I don’t want you to know that garbage. Don’t do a search, please. I
will
tell you, I just…need to figure out how to do it.”

“All right, okay,” I conceded, not wanting to push him. “Please don’t keep me waiting. I want to know you, all of you.”

He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me toward him. He leaned down and kissed the side of my head before whispering in my ear. “I want you to know me too. And I will tell you, I promise.”

I turned in his arms and tilted my face toward his, my lips pursing. He smirked down at me.

“Something you want, Honeybear?”

I made a fishy-face at him, cheeks sucked in and my pursed lips opening and closing. That improved his mood, a laugh springing from his chest before he too made fishy-lips at me and pressed them to mine.

I loved moments like that: sweet and tender. They were the times I was happiest, the times when Nathan was just Nathan, if only for a moment.

It was halfway through the next week when the relationship between Sadie and Will came out, no longer a rumor. We were all gathered in one of the large conference rooms, crammed in the small space, as Jack made the announcement that Sadie had submitted her resignation.

He informed everyone the policy was still in place, and Will would stay on since Sadie had resigned before action needed to be taken.

My mind began wondering what would happen in our case. I wanted to believe things would be fine, but I knew the reality of the situation. I surreptitiously looked toward Nathan; he was staring at the ground, mulling something over. Perhaps the same things that were on my mind.

“They’re getting married next week,” Andrew said next to me, his voice cutting into my internal ponderings. “Just a small civil ceremony. I talked with Will, and he said Sadie’s going to be a stay-at-home mom.”

Stay-at-home mom. A foreign concept to me, but it made me wonder—would I ever be a stay-at-home mom? Would I ever marry and have children?

I shook my head. Yeah, right. Who would want to marry me?

That was a pipe dream, something I would never obtain.

No one wants you.

Why would anyone have you? You’re worthless.

I cringed at those words.

Without conscious thought, my eyes moved to Nathan. To my surprise, I found him looking back. I was unable to decipher the strange look on his face due to Jack’s voice booming out that he had another announcement, drawing my attention away from Nathan.

He introduced us to the new hire, fresh out of law school, and she looked like she was going to fit right in with the Boob Squad.

Great. Another one to fight off.

A shift occurred within a few days of Jack’s announcement, and I didn’t understand what had caused it, but my gut was telling me that things were changing.

Nathan had been…off for days. It was subtle at first, and then one morning it became glaringly obvious.

He had become withdrawn and wasn’t talking as much. He was short with everyone, including me.

It wasn’t only at the office. It happened at home as well. He wouldn’t look me in the eyes, and when he did, I saw either sadness mixed with a little disdain, or he would attack me sexually, his need so great at that moment that he couldn’t hold off. But even in his moments of need, there was a wall forming.

After a few days of that behavior, I was awoken by screaming.

Blood-curdling screams of pain and agony ripped out of Nathan.

I shook him, calling out his name to wake him. His eyes snapped open and he threw the covers back. His leg was stiff from sleep and it caused him to stumble on his way to the bathroom. I chased after him and found him leaning over the sink, splashing cold water on his face.

I stared at him in the mirror, willing him to lift his eyes, but he wouldn’t.

I called out his name, stepping toward him, my hand reaching out for him, but my call was ignored.

He toweled off his face before heading back into the bedroom and crawling back into bed. He walked right past me, shied away from my outstretched hand, and retreated, shutting me out.

Things deteriorated from there.

I’d overheard Sheila ordering that month’s birthday cake, listing off who would be celebrating that month. Nathan’s was mentioned, and I put it on my calendar, thinking about what to get him. A few days before the date, I asked if he wanted to do anything special. I was shocked by the expression on his face: vacant and bone-chilling.

“Please don’t say that again, and don’t tell anyone. I don’t celebrate my birthday…not anymore.”

It was such an odd thing to say, but I let it drop because something inside told me to stay silent. A knot formed in the pit of my stomach, and it was an eerie reminder of a time long before. His birthday passed. I couldn’t even wish him a happy birthday. All I was able to give him was my body, letting him take anything he wanted that night.

It was two days after that when Nathan left early. It was odd, strange for him to leave, let alone in the middle of the morning and without saying anything to me. So, at just after five, I found myself fidgeting with my keys as the elevator ascended the fifteen stories to his condo.

“Nathan?” I called, my voice echoing around the empty walls as I entered.

A warm breeze guided me to the balcony off the living room. I stepped out into the warm summer air, my gaze searching for him. I found him sitting at the end of one of the lounge chairs. The sleeves of his charcoal grey shirt were folded up to his elbows, a beer bottle at his feet and a cigarette in his hand as he leaned forward, his forearms resting on his knees. His hair was a windblown mess, and his eyes were red.

“Nathan?” I called out to him again. There was no response. He didn’t even look at me.

My mind began running wild with questions and theories. Was he fired? Did someone find out? No, he wouldn’t have reacted that way if such was the case.

A glint of gold reflected in the sunlight, and I searched for the source. Something twirled within the fingers of his left hand. My eyes focused in on a small band of gold, forged into a perfectly round circle.

A wedding band.

I stopped breathing, my chest constricting as the pieces came together. I stood transfixed on the metal as it spun in the light.

His wedding ring.

The thought repeated in my mind as the pieces locked in place. Whatever happened that marred his body had also marred his heart. His wife had died. That had to be it. That was why he was damaged.

“You shouldn’t have come today, Lila.” His voice low and void of emotion, his eyes cast out onto the view of the cityscape as he picked up the beer and took a swig. “I can’t control what I may do. I’ll hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you.”

I pushed him for the first time. “I’m not going anywhere. Tell me what’s wrong.”

He whispered so low that I almost missed it. “Four years ago today, everything fell to ruin. Leave, Lila.”

My heart sped, threatening to burst from my chest as his mood from the last week and a half started to make sense.  “I’m not leaving, not when you’re finally talking.” I stepped closer to him.

He still didn’t look up at me. “I don’t just mean today. Leave me. What we have is fucked up.”

“It may be fucked up, but it’s helping us both. We need each other.”

“I’m not good to be around.”

“You are. You
are
good to be around.” My voice broke.

In a flash, he stood and spun his arm around, releasing the bottle. It crashed into the brick wall, sending droplets of beer and shards of glass everywhere. I jumped back, surprised by his reaction. This anger was different, more potent.
Violent
.

“You don’t fucking get it! I lost
everything
that mattered most. My family. The family they stole from me, and the one I pushed away for their own safety.”

In two steps, he was on top of me, lips to mine, heated and desperate. His hands were fisted in my hair, pulling me closer.

“Leave me,” he pleaded, pulling back with tears in his eyes. “I can’t lose you the same way I lost her.”

I ran my hand up his back to soothe him. “I’m here, take solace in me. I need you.”

He growled and walked me backward and into the wall. “I can’t fucking
do
this to you. I won’t.” His hands held my arms on either side of my body, the brick biting into my skin, his body pressed tight against my own. He leaned down, his lips capturing mine, his tongue lapping as he attempted to devour me.

I tried to tell him it was okay, that I wanted it, but I couldn’t speak with how crazed he was.

He released my lips. “Push me away and leave. Please, Lila!” His hands let mine go and grabbed my hips. With rough hands he dragged my shirt up and over my head. “I don’t want to break you.”