Breach: The Boxset (18 page)

No, not how I saw the evening going at all. I was scrambling, wondering how to tell my best friend I’d been in a fucked-up relationship with my work partner, against company policy, before she exploded.

CHAPTER 19

The scene in the kitchen was stagnant, waiting to unfold when Caroline finally found her voice. She turned and gaped at me, her mouth popping open and closed, reminding me of a fish. The sight would have made me laugh if the situation hadn’t been so serious.

With a deep sigh, I jumped down from the counter and walked to stand in front of her.

“Nathan?” Her voice was almost shrill.

I nodded and turned to find him already cleaning the chicken for me, letting me deal with my friend’s initial outburst.

Caroline struggled to string her words together. “How… I mean… Really?”

Again, I nodded.

“But…it’s
Nathan Thorne.
You
despise
him.” She grabbed my arm and pulled me closer. “
He’s
your Christopher?”

“Yes,” I replied. “I wanted to tell you, I did…I wanted… ”

Caroline silenced me, placing her hand up between us as she stared at Nathan’s back. Her fist grabbed the front of my shirt and she dragged me into the living room. Her eyes were still glued on the kitchen when she stopped and pulled me closer, her face mere inches from mine.

“Let me get this straight. You are fucking Nathan-fucking-Thorne?” she hissed.

I swallowed hard before responding. “Yes. Caroline, I…”

“Shush.” She slapped her hand over my mouth. I stared at her in shock. “
You
are fucking Nathan Thorne?”

I rolled my eyes and nodded. How many times did I have to tell her?

“Holy. Fucking. Shit. You are fucking Nathan Thorne.” She smiled, beaming at me.

I grabbed her hand and removed it from my mouth. “I wanted to tell you. It’s just…well… What are you smiling about?”

Her grin widened. “
You
, Lila Palmer, are fucking
Nathan Thorne
.”

“Yes, Jesus, how many times do you have to say it?”

“That means the Boob Squad doesn’t have their hands on him. That means that
you
gave him all the hickies I’ve seen on him…and he gave you yours.” Her mouth popped open. “That means the reason he hasn’t gone to the bar in the last few months is because he’s been with you.”

“Yes. I couldn’t tell you because…well…what we have is complicated.”

Caroline nodded in understanding. “Yeah, you said ‘Christopher’ was broken. Jesus…Nathan doesn’t seem to be like that. I don’t see it.”

“He has a better act than I do.”

Caroline stood there, her arms folded across her chest, a contemplative look etched on her face. A moment later, she made an abrupt turn and walked back into the kitchen. I followed, wondering what was going on.

Thus far, I found his response more disturbing than Caroline’s. I had no idea what was going on inside his head. As soon as he saw Caroline, he began the mindless task of putting groceries away and prepping for dinner.

I watched on with a wary eye as Caroline approached Nathan’s back. He turned at the sound of her footsteps against the tile. She stopped about a foot in front of him, invading his personal space. His act was perfectly in place, and he seemed as cool as ever.

“
You
.” She pointed her finger at him, in an accusing way. “Hurt her and I’ll fuck you up. Understood?”

I let out a little giggle from the expression that formed on his face. His eyes were wide in fear of the woman in front of him. She was over half a foot shorter than him and about half his weight, yet she was standing there intimidating a former federal prosecutor.

“Understood.”

“Are you being safe with my girl? I’ve seen you with some floozies.”

“I’m clean. Promise.”

“Better fucking be, bucko.”

And with that, she was smiling again.

Warmth spread in my heart, the love for my friend growing. This was something new, something I had never experienced but had read about and seen in movies. The best friend warning the guy. Caroline was already friends with both Andrew and I when our relationship began, so I had missed this experience then.

“So, you two…” Caroline began, diving in now that her brain was working again. “When did all of this start up? Did it happen one day here, or was it an office tryst one night type of thing?” Caroline smiled and waggled her eyebrows.

I could feel the blood flooding to my face, and my eyes widened. Nathan froze mid slice, clearing his throat before continuing.

Her expression returned to the one of shock that had frozen on her face before “Seriously? In the office? In
your
office?”

I nodded, swallowing hard, too embarrassed to speak.

“Wow, you’re my kinky idol now, Lila.” She leaned back against the counter with a smile.

“What? I…he…” I stammered in protest.

“I bet it was hot.”

“Of course it was hot.” Nathan turned to look at Caroline and spoke freely for the first time. “Look at her. She is fucking gorgeous and sexy as hell. Sin should be her middle name.”

Caroline stared as he spoke, the grin spreading on her face. “So, have words of love been shared?”

At the mention of love between us, Nathan stopped what he was doing. My eyes were glued to his back, watching the muscles in his shoulders and back tense.

“What did I say?” Caroline asked, her head moving between the two of us, startled by his sudden shift.

I was used to his mood swings, but Caroline was used to the mask. He turned from his spot against the counter and his eyes found mine, holding my stare for a moment before he moved to the sink and washed his hands.

“I think it’s about time you took over. I’m going to go change,” he declared as he dried his hands.

“All right. Thank you.” I hated that his mood had soured.

As he walked past me, he stopped and leaned down, placing a quick kiss to the top of my head, surprising me, before heading up to his condo.

Caroline stared after him. “What the hell was that?”

I let out a sigh as I headed to the sink and washed my hands before moving to finish cutting the chicken Nathan had started. I tried to explain to her as best I could. “Nathan is…complicated…and damaged. What you see on the outside, at the office, is just a façade. Like pretty new siding over an old, dilapidated house.”

Caroline considered this for a moment, mulling over everything. “But, you consider yourselves boyfriend and girlfriend, right? Dating?”

I bit my lip, trying to find the best way to describe our status, or lack thereof. “No, our relationship is…undefined. The only word we use is ‘mine.’”

“Well…it may not be a declaration of a relationship, but it is a claim, I suppose. You only see each other?”

“Yes. Every day, actually.”

“Every day? Do you sleep in the same bed?”

“Yes.”

“Every night?”

“Yes.” My hand slowed down as I continued to cut into the food, realizing just how pathetic it all must sound to her.

“Wow…just…I don’t know, Lila. I see now why your insomnia has gone away if you’re sleeping with him every night.” Her brow scrunched in concern. I could see the sadness in her eyes. “This is not what I was expecting you to tell me tonight.”

“I didn’t want to keep it from you, but the way things happened between us was unconventional.”

“So, that night at the bar, that was after the office romp?” she asked, and I nodded. “I wondered why he was acting so weird. He didn’t like Andrew near his girl.”

I rolled my eyes. “He doesn’t like Andrew at all, and the feeling is mutual. I don’t get it.”

“Men. I know you don’t understand them—who does—but, let’s put it this way…you used to be Andrew’s, and now your Nathan’s. I
know
Andrew still has a thing for you, and Nathan clearly does. Neither of them likes the thought of you with the other.”

Her inquisition was hitting so many nerves. I had to concentrate on cutting, otherwise I was going to lose a finger. I squinted, trying to focus on every little movement I made. “But Andrew doesn’t know about us.”

“Doesn’t matter. He’s a guy, and therefore all other guys are possibilities of taking you. Something Nathan seems to do very well.” She gave me a wink.

I felt the blush creep over my skin. “Yes, he does.”

“I wonder what happened to him.”

I shrugged my shoulders. “All I know is he used to be a federal prosecutor and that something bad happened, scaring him.”

“Oh, I know. We can Google him!”

She bounced with excitement and ran to her purse. As soon as she had her phone in her hand, she began searching for him. My hand reached out and covered the screen, causing her gaze to snap up to mine, confusion swirling in her eyes.

I stared at her. “You can do that, but don’t tell me. I tried once, but when the search came up, I closed it. I want to hear it from him when he’s ready.” Caroline studied me for a few moments, and all I could do was blink back at her. “What?”

“Oh my God. You’re in love with him.”

“Is that what this feeling is?” I asked, reflecting on all the emotions that swirled around inside me.

My hand rested on my chest, right over my heart. Love? Could it really be? I’d never been in love before, not even with Andrew…in fact, the only love I had was my platonic love for Caroline and my foster family. The idea both thrilled and frightened me.

She smiled at me, her hand moving to brush a strand of hair behind my ear. “Yes, sweetie, that’s what that feeling is.”

After that, her attention was drawn back to the shiny piece of technology in her hand. I watched Caroline as she surfed for Nathan, looking for the information to quench her curiosity. I knew the moment she found what she was looking for. Her expression said it all.

As I feared, her smile of excitement fell from her face, sadness replacing it. Her hand moved to cover her mouth, her body sagging against the counter for support.

Her body language answered all my unspoken questions. Again, I felt the pang in my chest. Would I be enough to keep him with me?

I heard the sound of a key in the lock followed by the door closing. Nathan had returned.

“How’s dinner coming?” he asked, and I couldn’t help but lick my lips at the sight of him when he rounded the corner.

Nathan was sin in a suit and equally as sinful in jeans and a T-shirt. To be honest, anything or nothing on Nathan, it didn’t matter—he always looked delicious.

Caroline walked up to stand a few feet right in front of him. “I’m sorry. I Googled you. Don’t worry. I won’t say anything to anyone, even Lila. She wants to hear it from you when you’re ready,” Caroline blurted, wide-eyed and speaking fast.

Nathan’s eyes rounded in what looked like fear and he swallowed hard. He leaned down toward her and lowered his tone. “I need to request that you please make sure you do. Only a few trusted people in the office know. I stress this because what you learned isn’t the whole story, nor wholly true, and I don’t want rumors spreading.”

“I promise. I won’t say a word. It’s not my place anyway,” she assured him.

Her reaction flared my curiosity again. In one search, he gained her trust and devotion, a hard feat.

“Thank you, Caroline.”

The rest of dinner went off without a hitch. There was no more talk about Nathan’s past, and only a few times did Caroline bring up Andrew’s name. She did it just to watch Nathan’s reaction to it, of that I was certain. Her eyes lit up every time, and she smiled when his eyes narrowed. She’d then look to me with a knowing smile. We talked about work, the office, and Nathan’s fan club.

It was then that Nathan found out what I called his admirers; I’d never told him. He also vowed he would forever refer to them as “B.S.” so that we could be discreet when talking about them in the office. He also assured Caroline that he didn’t buy any of the B.S.’s BS.

When he laughed at his little joke, I couldn’t help but stare in wonder at the smile that formed. It was new. It wasn’t forced, nor a small one. I’d never seen him smile like that, and I was awestruck at the beauty of it and the light feeling coming off Nathan at that moment. I etched it into my memory, because there was a chance I would never see him like that again.