Authors: Ellie Grace
“
You two need to take care of each other,” his mom says to me. “You make each other stronger, you always have, and as long as you’re looking out for one another, I can sleep better at night. You boys keep each other safe, okay?”
“
You know we will,” I tell her. “We’re a team. We’re in this together. Always.”
I felt warm arms come around me, pulling me out of my bad dream. Olivia’s comforting smell and gentle touch carried me out of the shadows and brought me back to reality.
As much as I wanted to be the one protecting her and keeping her safe, the truth was that she was the one saving me. She cast light into my life, but unfortunately the darkness was always close behind, knocking on the door with a harsh reminder of my past.
I couldn’t rely on her presence to keep my demons at bay. My only chance at a decent future was to push them away for good, but I just didn’t know how. My nightmares felt like a punishment for my past, and I was afraid that they wouldn’t go away unless I found a way to come to terms with everything I’d done… but that was something I might never be able to do.
***
I was alone in bed when I woke up the next morning, and I could hear the sound of the shower in the bathroom. Dex always let me sleep in after working late, but he usually came back into bed with me. I decided that since I was already up, I might as well surprise him.
He was having a nightmare when I came by his house after work the night before, and while it wasn’t as traumatic as the last time I’d seen it, I recognized the torment he was going through. I knew how much they affected him and I wanted to cheer him up and take his mind off it.
Undressing quickly, I snuck into the bathroom as quietly as possible. I could make out his naked form through the textured glass of the shower, standing motionless under the stream of hot water.
“Good morning…” I sang out, sliding the door open and stepping inside.
“Mmmm… morning, baby.” He caught my hips and pulled me underneath the water with him. “When did you get up?”
“Just now. I was lonely in there without you…” Brushing my lips against his, I immediately felt his arousal against my belly. I trailed my hand down his chest and stomach before taking him in my hand and stroking his length.
He groaned, tightening his hands on my hips. “I can’t have my girl feeling lonely… let’s see if we can fix that.”
Grabbing a condom from the vanity, he covered himself in record time, and whirled me around to face the wall. He grazed his lips over my neck and slowly entered me from behind, filling me perfectly and completely. And just like that, all our worries were momentarily forgotten.
It was quiet at the aquarium during my shift that day, which meant there was no one to distract me from all the thoughts that had been colliding in my head since I met Rose. I couldn’t stop thinking about what she said and whether or not I should go talk to her. As much as I wanted to find out the truth, I was scared of what it might mean.
I didn’t want to believe that my mom would hide family from me, especially when we had no one else. I loved my mom more than anything. She was the one who stood by me and was there for me all my life, and I didn’t want to hear something that might tarnish that.
At the same time, there was a whole piece of my life that I was missing. There was so much about my past that I didn’t know and didn’t understand, and I wanted answers. I’d been feeling that void for as long as I could remember, but would getting the answers make it better or worse?
I rested my elbows on the edge of Myrtle’s tank and watched the turtle drifting lazily around in the water by herself. “How ‘bout you Miss Myrtle… do you have a little turtle family of your own waiting for you?” I sighed, “I probably shouldn’t complain since you turtles have it way worse than me. Your mom laid her eggs in the sand and then left you all alone to hatch and find your way into the ocean. You poor little turtle babies have to learn to survive all on your own… that’s pretty brutal. I guess life is cruel that way. It can be a lonely world out there. I suppose that if I have a chance to find my family, I should take it, huh?”
I was talking to a turtle. Myrtle was a cool chick and all, but I was probably starting to lose it.
When Frank appeared beside me, my cheeks heated in embarrassment. I hadn’t even heard him come in and there I was, talking to an animal like a crazy person.
“Myrtle here is a pretty decent conversationalist, isn’t she?” he chuckled, resting his arms next to mine on the tank.
“Busted,” I grinned. “They left me to my own devices down here and look what happened.”
“Hey, I’m not judging. Sometimes the best ones to talk to are the ones that don’t talk back and let us work stuff out on our own instead.” His eyes shifted from me to Myrtle. “You know, turtles are solitary creatures by nature, but that doesn’t mean they’re always alone. A lot of them migrate to the same places, along the same routes and sometimes they even travel in groups. They might not have family, but I like to think that they find some friends along the way.”
I had a feeling we weren’t talking about turtles anymore.
“Do you think that’s enough?” I said softly.
“I guess it depends,” he shrugged. “Family is important, there’s no doubt about that. But not all family is related by blood. Sometimes, the strongest bonds we have are the ones we form along the way. That being said, it’s important to know where we come from. Often times, we have to look back before we can really move forward.”
“You’re a wise man, Frankie.” I turned to him with a questioning look. “Are you sure you weren’t a therapist before this?”
He laughed. “Nah, just stumbled across a lot of life lessons in my time, so I like to pretend I know a thing or two. It’s come in handy around here – you’re not the first person to talk to the animals, and you won’t be the last!” He gave my shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “We’re all just navigating our way through life, Livie girl. Some paths are trickier than others. There’s no harm in making a few wrong turns along the way.”
With that, he turned to go back upstairs, leaving Myrtle and me to try and absorb everything he said and make sense of it. Before I had a chance to sort through my thoughts, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. Normally, I ignored it while I was working, but since no one else was around, I pulled it out and glanced at the screen. The call was from a blocked number so I didn’t answer, assuming that whoever it was would leave a message. They didn’t though, and kept calling.
After the third call, I finally gave in and picked it up. “Hello?”
No answer.
“Hello, can I help you?” I repeated, getting frustrated. I thought I heard noises on the other end, but there was still no answer, so I hung up.
I was a little creeped out about who it could be. When I left New York, I got a new, unlisted number, and only a handful of people had it. None of them had a blocked number, and if it was a wrong number, then they would have realized it after hearing my voicemail message and wouldn’t have called back.
For a split second, I wondered if it might be Rose, but then I laughed at the idea. The nice old woman who claimed to be my grandmother didn’t look like someone who even owned a cell phone, so unless she was secretly some kind of tech-savvy computer whiz, there was no way she found my number.
Deciding that it must have been a persistent telemarketer, I brushed it off and got back to work. Phone calls were the least of my problems.
“Hey man, it’s Porter… Dex Porter. I know this is out of the blue, but I was hoping I could come by today.”
The voice I heard on the other end of the phone was a familiar one; one that I heard every night when I fell asleep. Hearing that voice shook me and made me want to turn around, but I pressed on.
A three-hour drive into Wilmington, North Carolina wasn’t exactly what I’d planned on doing today, but after having another nightmare last night, I knew I had to do something. Olivia had very successfully distracted me in the shower, but I knew I couldn’t keep burying my problems. As soon as she left for work, I’d hopped in my truck and started driving.
My directions led me to a quiet street lined with houses on each side. It was a nice neighborhood, full of family homes with white picket fences and children playing in the yard. I thought I might have gotten the street wrong until I pulled up to the house and saw a truck in the driveway with a “USMC” bumper sticker. I took a deep breath and climbed out, stuffing my hands in my pockets as I walked to the front door.
Before I could knock, the door swung open.
“Holy shit, Porter… it’s good to see you,” Chase said, pulling me in for a hug. “After more than a dozen unanswered phone calls, I’d given up on hearing from you, until you called me this morning.”
I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly. “I know, I’m sorry. I just…”
“It’s okay,” he stopped me. “I know how it is. I’m glad you’re here now. Come on in.”
After grabbing two beers and cracking them open, he led me into the living room. He walked with a slight limp, but I doubted if it was noticeable to anyone else. When we sat down, I took a long pull from the beer he handed me. It was still early afternoon, but this kind of situation required one.
“How’s the leg?” I asked.
“Pretty damn good, actually.” He pulled up his pant leg to reveal the prosthetic leg he had underneath. “It’s incredible what they’ve done with these things. It hardly bothers me at all anymore. Obviously it took some getting used to at first, but it’s a small price to pay. I’ll take losing a leg any day if it means getting away with my life.”
I wondered what was wrong with me. My friend lost half his leg and still found a way to move on with his life and be positive about it. Me? Aside from a slight loss of hearing, I’d escaped in one piece, and yet I couldn’t seem to move past it.
“It’s because of you that I got out of there at all,” Chase said. “If you hadn’t dragged me out, I wouldn’t be here right now. I wouldn’t have had a second chance.” A huge smile formed on his mouth. “I wouldn’t be a daddy.”
My head snapped up. “You have a kid? Are you fucking with me?”
“Not quite yet, but in another couple weeks, yeah.”
“Wow, congratulations. That’s… incredible,” I smiled, shaking my head. “Didn’t waste any time, did you?”
“Hell no!” he laughed. “As soon as I got out of the hospital, I asked Lila to marry me, and we went down to city hall. We decided we didn’t want to wait to start a family, and now… here we are.”