Break Away (The Moore Brothers Book 4) (16 page)

L
ilah stared
at Cole for a long time. Long enough to make him uncomfortable. He scrunched up his nose and cocked his head to the side, a question on his face. “What?” he asked after a few more seconds of her chewing on her lip with her eyes glued to his.

She was going to tell him about her parent’s money. She was going to explain that everything was going to be okay. That Maggie would be okay. That they didn’t have to worry. She was going to offer to pay the medical bills and take a great big weight off of his shoulders. She should be excited about telling him. Thrilled to know that she was about to be able to help him out in his time of greatest need, repay him for all the kindnesses he has shown her over the last few weeks.

So, if she was supposed to be excited, if this was supposed to be such a great thing, why oh why was her heart jackhammering in her chest? Why were her hands sweating? Why did she have to swallow so hard before she could get the words out?

Lilah opened her mouth to tell him. Watched as suspicion whipped the stormy seas in his eyes into a frenzy. “Nothing,” she said and smiled, staring down into her coffee cup.

You’re being ridiculous,
she thought.
There’s absolutely no reason to think this is a bad thing.

Except it felt like admitting a lie. Admitting that she had been pretending to be something she wasn’t. And, it was true to an extent.

Except not really.

Cole knew her to be a woman out on her own for the very first time. A woman who didn’t have a lot of experience with money. And that’s exactly what she was. So her lack of experience with money came from the fact that her parents had more than enough, that they gave her everything she could ever want and she never had to figure out how to manage finances for herself. And so, Cole thought her terrible budgeting skills came from the fact that her family had never had much. That she had learned to make due by paying things late.

The fact of the matter was that her childhood had still left her crippled. Wasn’t that a funny thought? Growing up in a family that loved her and provided for every single possible desire she ever even dreamed of having was actually a detriment to her growth. She actually hadn’t been prepared to live on her own. Who would have thought that having wealthy parents who loved you just a little too much would end up being a handicap?

What would have happened to her if she hadn’t found Cole? Would she have made it on her own this long? Lilah seriously doubted it. Everything she had learned, everything she had accomplished was because of him.

Cole narrowed his eyes. “You definitely look like you’re chewing something over. What is it?” His voice had a strange mix of concern and suspicion in it.

Lilah took a breath. She owed Cole. He rushed in and saved her when she needed it and so it was only right that she would rush in and save him when he was in need.

But, if it was so right, why were her hands trembling? Why did she feel like she was about to drop a bomb?

“Cole,” she said and then blew a long breath out of her mouth. “I have to tell you something.”

He paused with his cup of coffee halfway to his lips. He widened his eyes and put the cup right back down on the table. “Okay…” He sounded wary and unsure.

“You know how I didn’t have a clue how to do anything when we first met? How you had to teach me things you just assumed any normal person would know?”

“Yeah…” He turned his head to the side. “What about it?”

Well, here goes nothing. Just put a smile on your face and sell it as the best thing ever.

“I really didn’t know anything. And I guess it’s because I really am a princess.”

Cole’s eyes went wide and he looked even more confused than before. “Now is not the time to lose your head. I need all your marbles in the box right now.”

“Let me explain. My parents are rich. Like, way crazy filthy rich. Like, I never had to work for anything I wanted. I never had to manage my money. I never had to wash my own laundry or do my own dishes because we had people who did that for us.”

That little muscle in Cole’s jaw started to clench and his eyebrows drew into a tight line over his eyes. He looked like he wanted to say something, but he just stared her down, nostrils flared.

“My brother’s bet me that I couldn’t live on my own. Told me I was spoiled and stuck up and incompetent. I swore I could do anything and they laughed in my face. Told me I couldn’t survive six months out on my own. Turns out they were right, but that’s beside the matter. The thing is, my parents could pay for Maggie’s hospital bills. She could stay here as long as she needs and get all the care she needs, maybe even counseling to help her deal with all the emotional scars from living with a man who…” Lilah trailed off as Cole’s face turned a violent red. His light eyebrows stood out all the more against the darkening color of his skin.

“This whole thing was part of some bet?” The rage in his eyes drained the color from Lilah’s face. “You’ve been lying to me this whole time? Making me think you were some poor helpless creature who needed my help and you’re actually just some spoiled bitch who thought she’d come grunge it up with us lower class people?”

Lilah’s mouth opened. Her breath stopped. Her heart screamed. “No.” She shook her head, this tiny little imperceptible movement that he probably couldn’t even see. “It’s not like that.”

“Seems to me that’s exactly what happened.” Cole’s knuckles were white as he clenched the little cardboard cup of coffee in his hands. “You lied to me. I trusted you. I thought you were different. And you lied. What else about you is made up?”

“Nothing.” Lilah’s voice was a ragged whisper. His anger ruptured her heart. “Everything you know about me is true. The only difference is that I’m crippled because I had too much. Not because I didn’t have enough.”

Cole laughed. This brittle thing that shattered her heart on the table between them. “Sure. Because having everything you ever needed is such a burden.”

“Cole—”

He held up his hand and tightened his lips into a thin, hard line. Took a long breath through flaring nostrils. Let her see the storm in his eyes. “Enough, Lilah. You’ve done enough. I don’t even know you and I don’t share my personal shit with strangers.”

Tears sprang into Lilah’s eyes and the entire cafeteria wobbled in her vision. “Cole…”

“Get out of my face. I can’t look at you anymore.”

Lilah took one hitching breath and forgot about trying not to draw attention to them. “I just want to help. I can finally offer you something. After all you gave me, let me give you this.” She reached out to take his hand. If he could just calm down enough to look at her clearly. Hear what she was saying without his anger in the way…

The moment her skin touched his, he yanked his hand away. Hot coffee sloshed out of the cup he clutched like a weapon, burning her fingers. She pulled away but refused to believe she couldn’t make him understand. Wiping the coffee onto her shorts, she reached for him with the other hand.

He slapped it away, the sting racing up her arm and piercing her heart.

“Get. The fuck. Away from me.” Cole’s words hissed out from between his locked jaw. His vivid white teeth grinding together.

Clutching her stinging hands into tight fists, the pain from the burn mingling with the reddening imprint Cole’s hand left on hers. Choking back sobs, she stood, the plastic chair rocketing out behind her and clattering to the floor. Fighting the urge to run, Lilah turned and slowly walked out of the cafeteria. One foot in front of the other. Head held high. Chin quivering. Tears spilling down her cheeks.

L
ilah got all
the way out to the parking lot before she remembered that she came here with Cole and she didn’t actually have a way to get home. The tears had stopped, thankfully, but a terrible ache had settled in her chest. This empty space where her heart used to be. Her stomach twisted in knots.

The fury she had seen in Cole’s eyes was on repeat in her head, the image echoing out and away like too many mirrors reflecting reflections. It spun her up into one great whirlwind of emotion and she fought the urge to get in the passenger seat of his truck and wait for him there. One thought of the look on his face was enough to talk her out of that idea. Lilah never wanted to see Cole look at her like that again.

God, the disgust in his voice. The anguish in his eyes. That steel gate, that perfectly constructed barrier, sliding down over his face again, blocking her off from him. Where once it had been Cole and Lilah, their relationship a separate and complete entity. Two twining into one. Now it was Cole without Lilah, or worse, Lilah without Cole. She was raw where he had ripped himself away from her and even breathing felt uncomfortable.

So, not the truck then. Not if she had to confront him again while he was still so upset. She could always call a cab.

She laughed, this gunshot of a sound that was more derision and self-loathing than anything. Of course Lilah Moore would be the one to call a cab. Isn’t that what she always resorted to? Letting other people come to the rescue and do the work while she sat on her ass?

Frustration joined hands with heartbreak and Lilah growled. Damn Cole and his stubborn ass. Why couldn’t he just swallow his damn pride and let her help him? At least then she could do what she was good at, spending other people’s money.

She took a minute to dry her eyes, looked up towards the clear blue sky and blinked. Then, when she was sure her voice would be steady enough, she pulled out her phone and called a cab. It was going to take about forty-five minutes for a cab to get here. Forty-five minutes for her to stand around and wait, try to keep her face from shattering with the tears that threatened and her hands from clenching with the anger that chased her blood through her veins.

And then Lilah had a thought. One single thought that brought this odd peace numbing all the violent emotions racing around her.

It was over.

Her time with Cole. Over. Even if they pieced things back together again, it would never be the same. He didn’t trust anyone. Never had and swore he never will and just as he started to trust her, she had pulled the rug out from underneath him.

But not just her time with Cole. Everything. The whole stupid bet with her brothers. The apartment. The job at the diner. Driving around in Ellie’s rust bucket.

She was done.

The end.

After she got home, she would pack up her things and head back to the guesthouse on her parents’ property with her tail between her legs. She would admit that she failed. That she wasn’t capable of living on her own and go back to being the spoiled only daughter of Frank and Diane Moore.

A tiny slice of doubt cut through the numbness. A tiny voice that said she didn’t want that. That she was happy here, on her own and she didn’t want to give it up, but Lilah squashed it flat. She thought of Maggie up their in her room. She should at least say goodbye. Maggie had enough people bailing on her. Lilah didn’t want to be one of them.

She wandered back into the hospital, keeping her eyes open for Cole. If he was in the room, she would just turn around and walk away. Maybe figure out how to send Maggie a card. Because there was no way she could look at him and not want to scream at him. Not want to run at him, flailing her fists into his chest, and Maggie didn’t need that.

Lilah peeked into Maggie’s room and relief released a breath she hadn’t known she was holding when she found Cole wasn’t there. A whisper of disappointment muttered something in her ear, but she ignored it and walked up to Maggie’s bed. She was asleep, her eyes closed, her face tilted slightly to the side. The beeps and hisses of the machines kept up a rhythmic pattern of worry. A constant reminder that things weren’t okay.

Lilah took Maggie’s hand. “I just wanted to say goodbye,” she murmured. “I didn’t want to just disappear without seeing you. Didn’t seem right.” She shrugged and swallowed, tears thickening her throat again. “I know that if you let Cole take care of you, you’re gonna be okay. And please, Maggie, let him take care of you. He’s good at it. And he loves you. Hell,
I
love you. I feel closer to you guys in these few months than I’ve felt with anyone. I don’t open up easily, but I did with you and Cole.” Her voice broke on his name.

Tears pooled again, making the image of Maggie waver as if the room was filled with water. “I’m not gonna be around but don’t you ever doubt that I loved you. That I loved him…” She trailed off. Took a long shuddering breath. “Thanks for being my friend, Maggie Bennett. You saw me for who I am and liked me anyway. Everyone else pretends to like me for my parents’ money. You were the first thing that felt real in my life. You … and then Cole …” And now the tears were hot and embarrassing and she needed to get downstairs in time to meet the cab anyway.

Lilah wiped her eyes and sniffed. Leaned forward and pressed her lips to Maggie’s hairline, just a whisper of contact, so careful not to put pressure on the spreading bruise. She released Maggie’s hand. It would have been nice to leave with some dignity, but there was no hiding her red eyes, circled in black smudges, the remainder of her makeup. She was sure her nose was swollen and red, her mouth lined in white, her cheeks blotchy and stained.

She would just have to keep her face down and hope no one felt like asking her if she was okay. She turned and headed for the door, already looking at her feet, intending to slip into the hallway and disappear before anyone saw her.

And ran right into Cole.

He seemed bigger than ever. Cut from stone. A mountain of a man glaring down at her. He put his hands on her shoulders as she bounced into his chest. Simultaneously pushed her away and kept her from falling down. She held his gaze for a fraction of a second and saw nothing but cold. Frozen water. Ice so cold it burned. And then she pushed past him, twisting to fit through the door, and ran through the hall.

Dignity be damned. She just needed out of here and didn’t care who saw her. She wanted him to chase her. To call after her. To come barreling down the hallway and grab her by the shoulders. Yell at her. Anything.

Because anything was better than nothing. Anything meant that he cared.

But, even after she slowed down to a walk, even after she leaned against a wall to catch her breath, Cole never came after her.