BREAK ME FREE (11 page)

Beatrice placed the dough
-filled bread tins inside the searing oven. She carefully closed the door and took off her oven mitts. Wiping the sweat from her brow she placed the mitts in Tanya’s hands. “Right, I’m going to the village hall to pay my dues to the Women’s Institute.”

“
All right, I’ll keep an eye on the bread.”

“I’ll be an hour as I’m sure to get gabbing to a few familiar faces. So after half an
 hour, keep checking every couple of minutes.”

Tanya sat at the large oak table as she fingered through the pages of a magazine.
 She sighed as she glanced at her watch. The chair screeched across the terracotta as she stood and walked to the kitchen window. She stared out of the kitchen window and saw two of Bruce’s sheepdogs play fighting in the centre of the farmyard. But what caught her eye was the pack of puppies that followed their parents out into the yard. Leaving the kitchen she stepped outside and paced over to the dogs.

Crouching on
 the cobbles, Tanya played with the puppies, letting them chew on her sleeve and sniff her hands. She would pick one puppy up and within seconds she would have to pick up another who begged and whimpered for attention. Sitting on the floor she became one of the pack, the puppies crawled all over her while the older dogs sat and watched. Suddenly the smell of burnt bread caught her attention. “Oh, shit.”

             
Inside the kitchen she opened the oven door and choked on the black cloud that escaped the oven. “Oh no, she’s going to kill me.” Tanya opened the cupboard and began to preparing fresh dough when Beatrice stormed into the kitchen. “Oh dear… I know what I can smell.”

“I’m sorry.”

“What happened?” Beatrice stared at the incinerated loaves. “They’ve been turned into charcoal?”

“I got distracted.”

“By what?”

“I saw the puppies out in the yard.”

Beatrice shook her head dismissively. “What can I say?”

“I’m really sorry.”

“See, Dear, that’s why the animals stay outside. They’re a nuisance when it comes to keeping a good house.” Beatrice rolled up her sleeves. “Let’s get some more bread on quickly, as we have to hang a hen today.

“What?”

“We have to hang it today, so it’s ready for the weekend.”

* * * *

Beatrice opened the door to the chicken coup causing a mass flock of escaping hens to flutter out into the run. She glanced at Tanya who held a large bucket in her hand.

“Go on, distract them” Tanya plunged her hand into the bucket of grain and began
 tossing it about the run. “Scatter it well, dear. Make sure they all eat. We need them nice and plump.” Beatrice rubbed her chin as she inspected her flock. “She’ll do for Sunday.”

“Are you sure you don’t want vegetable soup instead?”

“Don’t be silly.”

“Didn’t think you would.”

“Now put the bucket down.” Beatrice pointed to a chubby hen that plucked seeds from the ground. “Help me catch the bugger.”

The pair silently approached the hapless hen as it continued to feed on the grain.
 Tanya seized the initiative and dived on the bird. However, the bird fought its way out of her hands, leaving Tanya covered in feathers and heaped on the ground amongst the bird muck.

             
An old hand at the game, Beatrice soon grabbed the bird and stood over Tanya. “You’ll get there, don’t worry.”

“I’m not doing very well so far.”

Beatrice offered her young apprentice a hand up from the ground. “Don’t get down. Of course you are.”

“I am trying, I promise.”

              “I know.”

Beatrice walked while holding the bird, to the opposite side of the barn.
She glanced at Tanya as she sat down on a large toolbox. “You sure you want to watch?”

“Let me do it.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Great. I’m impressed.” Beatrice watched as Tanya grimaced as she took the hen by the legs. “Are you sure you can do it?”

             
“I may as well do it now, and get it out of the way.”

“Don’t worry about the bird. This way is best, she won’t feel a thing.”

“I hope so.”

             
“Also nothing goes to waste.” Beatrice guided Tanya’s fingers around the hen’s neck.

“Now, Dear, there are two major blood vessels at the back of the neck
… right here.”

“OK
.”

“Now, on my count we’re going to snap it, you understand?”

“Yes.”

Seeing Tanya’s ashen face caused Beatrice to worry. “You have to be brave and
 strong. I’ll do it with you, so we get it right, you OK?” Tanya nodded as Beatrice counted. “One … Two … Three.” The snap caused Tanya to jump up screaming and ran off in the opposite direction. Beatrice picked up the lifeless bird and walked after the hysterical Tanya. “Well done, Tanya. You see?” She held up the hen. “As dead as a Dodo, she is.”

Tanya cried and waved her hands in air. “Oh, Oh, That was terrible.”

“Nonsense. That’s the quickest way of doing it. Literally as quick as putting out a light.”

“I felt the crack.”

“Sure you did.”

Beatrice walked to an old cabinet that stood outside the barn. She opened it and
 hung the hen upside down. “Now we have to pluck it while it’s still warm.”

“You sure it’s dead?”

              “Of course. Now come on, pull the feathers out two at a time.” Beatrice began plucking the breast. “Go against the growth, like me.”

“They’re so soft.”

“All our pillows used to be made from hen feathers.”

“I guess you were right when you said nothing goes to waste.”

“Yes, better like this rather than buying them pre-packed in a supermarket.”

The hen hung naked as Beatrice drew the knife from her belt. “So I start off, by just
 nicking the bird here.” The sight of blood caused Tanya’s eyes to roll to the back of her head, shortly before she collapsed to the floor.

* * * *

              The sun had set and the smell of the evening meal still lingered in the upstairs of the old farmhouse. Tanya sat on her bed when she heard a knock her door. She watched Serge step inside and slowly approached her bed.

“You’re not going to come down for dinner?”

“I’m not hungry.”

Serge sat on the bed and put his hand on her feet that were tucked under the
 sheets. “You’ve not ate since breakfast.”

“I haven’t an appetite right now.”

“Yes, you have.”

“Don’t try and tell me what I feel.”

“Sorry.”

“I’m sorry for being grouchy. I’m tired that’s all.” Tanya repositioned her pillow. “Don’t
 worry about me. I just need to sleep.”

“Beatrice loves you, you know?”

 “No she doesn’t.”

“She told me so.”

Tanya clenched her fists and rolled her eyes. “Come on Serge. I’m an embarrassment. I have failed at everything she has asked me to do.”

“That doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it does. I’m bloody useless.”

Serge shuffled up the bed and stroked her cheek. “The fact you tried your best
 makes the fact you messed up irrelevant.”

“The fact I tried my best and still fail makes it all the worse. I’m nothing but a
 fucking hindrance to everyone.”

“You’re being silly now.”

“I’m being honest.”

“You’ll be great at it in a few weeks, just you wait and see.”

“It’s easy for you to say that.” Tanya batted away his finger. “You take to everything like a duck to water.”

             
“That’s rubbish.”

“It is not. You’re Bruce’s best mate. I’m like Beatrice’s worst bloody nightmare.”

“Look I struggle, too. It’s only natural until you get things right.”

Tanya crossed her arms. “Some struggle more than others
… and then there’s me.”

“We’ve only been here a few days. It will take time before we settle down.”

“I just don’t want to be a burden to everyone all the time.” Tanya’s eyes were charged with sadness and threatened to rain tears. “I want to pull my own weight.”

“You are doing fine. What’s more, it’s not just me who thinks that.”

“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”

“I’m not.”

There was a knock on the door. “It’s me Beatrice, I have brought you some vegetable soup.”

Serge whispered to Tanya, “You see.”

“Really?”

The door was pushed open and Beatrice stepped inside holding a tray carrying a
 steaming bowl of soup and side plate of bread and cheese. “I made some especially for you.”

Tanya sat up. “You shouldn’t have.”

“There you go.” Beatrice placed the tray on Tanya’s lap. “How are you feeling, Dear?”

“A little better, thanks.” Tanya dried a tear with her sleeve. “I’m sorry about today.”

              “No need to worry about it. I know you really tried hard. And that is all we ask of you both.”

“I want to help
, not hinder you.”

Beatrice placed a hand on her chest. ''Me and Bruce are both surprised with how you
 have taken to this life. What’s more we both love having you around. You really bring life into this old place of ours.”

“I’m a walking disaster.”

“What? I was having a word with Bruce ….”

Bruce rattled the bedroom door with his knuckles before stepping in. “Is there room
 for one more?”

Tanya screamed with laugher as she saw Bruce’s clean
-shaven face. “Oh Bruce, you look amazing.”

He felt his clean neck. “I was due a change
…. Especially with a young lady in the house.”

The noise of scraping nails on the wooden floor boards caused Tanya to glance at
 the door. “What’s that?”

“Well a family isn’t complete without a pet is it.” A young black and beige collie
 bounded into the room. His tail wagged incessantly as he sniffed around the floorboards of the room.

“I thought you didn’t let animals in the house.”

“Well I was going to sell you a puppy originally wasn’t I? But now I have you here, I thought I may as well let you have him, if you give him a good home.”

             
“I love you all three of you … four of you.” Tanya couldn’t stop smiling as a tear of joy welled in her eye. “I really feel blessed to have you lot in my life.” She opened her arms out. “Can I have a hug?” The three of them huddled around the emotional Tanya.

* * * *

Serge followed both Beatrice and Bruce out of Tanya’s room. He glanced over his shoulder as he held the knob of the door. “Night.”

“Come here a minute you.”

Serge smiled and stepped back into the room. He squatted beside her bed. “What is it?”

“I’m not finished with you.”

“Oh yeah.” Serge couldn’t hide his smile as Tanya leaned forward. He closed his eyes and leant into the kiss, but was startled by a wet and warm lick across the front of his face. He opened his eyes and he saw his nose touching the wet snout of the puppy. “Oh, bloody hell, Tanya. Got me excited there for a minute.”

Tanya laughed. “Sorry.” She stared into Serge’s eyes as she let the puppy down on
 the floor. “I couldn’t resist.” She leaned across and pressed her lips against his. “Good night, Serge.”

“Night
.”

“I could get used to those kisses.”

“Me too.” Serge blushed like a school boy. He stood up. “I….”

“You don’t have to go.”

“I better go.”

“It’s up to you.” Tanya glanced down at her bed sheets. “I just thought
….”

“You’re emotional.”

Tanya blushed bright red. She pulled the sheets up to her neck. “I’m sorry if I come across slutty…. I guess old habits die hard.”

“I’m not saying
….”

“Of course you are
… I almost forgot about my past for a few minutes then.” Tanya rolled over to face the pink wall. “Thanks for bringing it up again.”

“It’s not you, I promise it’s me. I don’t want to be like all the others.”

“All the others? All….”

“Oh.”

”Shut up, Serge. Just shut up. If you must know, I am clean. I got checked last month.”

“As if I’d be worried about your sexual health.”

“What is it then, if it’s not that?”