BREAKAWAY (The Dartmouth Cobras) (41 page)

“That’s a little twisted, you know.”

“Not to an inexperienced teenage boy, but yes, I eventually accepted she had manipulated me. Used me.” But at the time,
Sarita
had been such a magnificent creature, so powerful and beautiful, he would have done anything for her. She took him home with her one day after his grandfather had said horrible things about his father, about how worthless the man had been. Sebastian hadn’t wanted his mother to see how much his grandfather’s words upset him, so he had gone to her friend, hoping since
Sarita
had known his mother all her life, that she might be able to help him protect her. A few drinks was all it had taken for
Sarita
to make him forget why he’d come. He couldn’t hide his shame as he told Jami, with blunt honesty, how foolish he’d been. Her eyes were wide as he admitted that he had been completely submissive to
Sarita
. That his first taste of dominance had been with her husband. "I learned from her. I wasn't the first to join them, but I was the first man. I lost my virginity to them both. After they moved on, it took a long time for me to be with any other woman. None compared to her. But men . . . men were easier. I didn’t know then it was because dominance came naturally. Once I explored that part of myself, I felt drawn to women, which was difficult for a long time. Many believe you cannot be attracted to both."

"Wait." Jami took his hand and brought it to her lips. She kissed his knuckles while looking into his eyes. "You're leaving something out. 'When they moved on'? You were okay with it?"

"I was young. Of course I hoped they would keep me, but they did not. You are avoiding the issue, Jami."

"And what's the issue, Sebastian?"

"Women have been involved in my seductions. I considered straight men a challenge." He stroked the curve of her cheek with his knuckles and gave her the smile that had filled his bed for over a decade, urging her to see what he was capable of. "You have no idea the lengths a man will go to, the things he will do, to make love to a beautiful woman beyond his reach. Such tempting bait. And I am well aware of my allure. I've used any means necessary to get what I want."

"But you didn't do that with me." She released his hand and glared at him, as though daring him to argue with her. "Or Luke."

Her trust humbled him. He did not deserve it. Part of him wanted her to doubt him so she could save herself. He turned on the taps to the kitchen sink and began washing dishes, using the mundane chore as a way to make everything else seem normal. "Are you so sure, mi cielo?"

"You're damn right I am." Jami grabbed his arm and jerked so hard the plate he was washing slipped from his hands and splashed into the half full sink of water. "You're not getting rid of me that easy, mister."

He shut off the water and dried his hands on a cloth. Shifting over, he tugged on Jami's knees until she wrapped her ankles at the base of his spine. "I will do anything in my power to keep you. But I will use the truth."

"Good. Then tell me this." She wiggled her hips and settled against him. "When we met, were you thinking of anyone else?"

"No."

"When you were holding Luke with a knife against his throat, were you thinking about me?"

Sebastian dropped his gaze to his hands on her knees. "No."

"Then the truth is you were honest with your feelings. We're both special to you, and if Luke doesn't see that, he's brain dead."

"I don't believe he is 'brain dead', gatita," Sebastian said. "He is angry and hurt. And he has every right to be."

"Are you
gonna
try to talk to him again?"

"Perhaps, but first I will give him some space.” Knowing Luke would want space from him—no,
need
it, made so hard to breathe that it felt like the ropes Luke handled so skillfully had been wrapped around his neck. He cleared his throat and hauled in air past the choking sensation. “He will want answers. I will tell him all I have told you when he is ready to ask."

"What if he's never ready? What if he just avoids you?"

Sebastian smiled and shook his head. "That is very unlikely. But if it happens, I have a promise to keep to you both. I swore I wouldn't give up on him."

Jami wrinkled her nose. "This could get messy."

"Yes, it could." Sebastian lifted Jami up off the counter and let her slide down his body as he kissed her. "But it is my mess, mi cielo. Let me worry about it."

"Are you telling me not to meddle?" Jami wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her cheek against his bare chest. "Because I can't promise I won't."

"I am asking you, Jami." He suddenly felt exhausted, the late flight and lack of sleep after the night he'd spent with Luke and Jami finally catching up to him. Too tired to filter his words. "I'm not sure if I could handle him lashing out at you. Do not give him a reason to."

"Fine." Jami sighed and rolled her eyes. "I'll try to be nice. Which will be much easier if I avoid
him
."

"This need not ruin things between you. He does love you."

"Right. I could tell." Her teeth scraped over her bottom lip hard enough to make it redden and swell. "Not that it matters. I loved you first."

Por
amor
de Dios!
She was so young. Young enough to give her loyalty to him blindly, without compromise. He had some confidence he could mend things between himself and Luke, given time, but the damage done to the very fragile relationship Luke and Jami had developed was a different matter. His own loyalties were somewhat torn between them, but they ended where they'd begun.

If he had to choose between them, he would choose Jami. But he would avoid that in every way possible. And the only option he could see was keeping them apart.

"Do not be bitter, or cruel, if you do see him, mi cielo." Sebastian pressed his face to her hair and inhaled. The faint spice of her perfume, the fresh aroma that was hers alone, soothed him. He had to trust that things would turn out well in the end. "But you are right. It may be best if you avoid him for now."

At her next words, he closed his eyes and stifled a sigh.

"That won't be a problem, mi Rey. He's right about one thing." Her tone became cold. "He
can't
have me without you."

Chapter Nineteen

Luke fiddled with his tie as the team meeting finished, keeping his hand over it as Seb walked by. And then felt damn ridiculous for doing so. Who cared if Seb noticed he was wearing a clip-on? Not like his opinion mattered anymore.

He bit the inside of his cheek, forcing himself to stay put as Seb stopped by the door to chat with Mason. Both men had the beginning of thick beards, covering their jaws, cheeks and upper lip. Even in expensive suits, they both looked rugged, dangerous. Fit and well rested for the game tonight.

For some reason, seeing Seb like that pissed him off. Luke hadn't been able to sleep right since he'd left Seb's place the day before. His daily nap consisted of starting at the ceiling. He'd tossed and turned all night. His bed seemed too big. Too empty.

Staying mad made it a bit easier not to think about Seb, even though he'd almost rolled off the bed in the middle of the night, seeking his solid body. His heart had stuttered when he'd come in for the meeting and Seb's pain filled eyes met his. He'd almost knocked Mischlue over in his rush to find a seat at the back of the room. He'd sat stiff through the video lecture and did his best to pay attention to Tim pointing out all the ways they could improve their game against the Sabres.

But his gaze kept slipping over the wide set of Seb's shoulders, trailing over the dark length of hair bound low. His fingers twitched as he recalled the soft texture. His blood burned in his cheeks and his lips as he remembered how it felt to have that huge body pressed against him, those firm lips touching him everywhere. That voice, commanding, then tender, always reaching deep inside, lending him strength even when he was on his knees.

Luke never thought he'd fall in love with a man. But he'd fallen in love with Seb.

Yeah, too bad he's a fucking liar.

"Hey, you okay, pal?" Demyan put his hand on Luke's shoulder. "You look like shit. Need to get it off your chest or something?"

"
Naw
, I'm good." Luke stood and walked with Demyan out to the hall, ducking his head as he passed Seb. Out of spite, he nudged Demyan in the ribs and spoke loud enough for Seb to hear. "
Wanna
go grab a couple of drinks before the game?"

He smirked as he caught Seb's frown from the corner of his eye.

"I would, but a bunch of the guys are meeting up for an early dinner, and I was
kinda
hoping to hook myself up with a date." Demyan laughed and hunched his shoulders as he shoved his hands in his pockets. "I'll be straight with you—the Delgado sisters are
gonna
be there. And Richter. They only signed me for a year, and that year's over in a few months. I figured a bit of sucking up wouldn't hurt."

"They'd be stupid to let you go, man."

"Yeah, well they might get a good draft pick for me. I'd rather not take any chances."

"I hear you." Luke cast Demyan a sideways glance. "Need some moral support?"

"That would be cool. You
gonna
bring Jami?"

"If she'll come." Luke hadn't told either of his roommates about what had happened. Too weird to try to explain—impossible without telling them about him and Seb. "So where are you hunting for a date?"

Demyan chuckled. "Ice Girls, buddy. Figure I've got my pick since they're all obsessed with the team. There are two groups skating right now, so I'm heading to the rink.
Kinda
like picking a bunny out of a crateful, you know?"

"Sounds good."
Jami might be there.
Luke tongued his bottom lip. He'd tried calling her once, and wasn't all that surprised that she hadn't answered. Actually, he'd been a little relieved. It would be better if they could talk face to face. "Why don't we get our skates on and join them on the ice? The press will get a kick out of it."

"You sure we're allowed, man?"

"Who's
gonna
stop us?"

* * * *

Racing across the rink, Jami closed her eyes and sank into the sensation of gliding across the ice, utterly free. The damp chill rising up from the ice caressed her bare skin and filled her lungs. Loud pop music echoed around her, drowning out the laughter of the other girls, isolating her as she let it pump into her skull and move her. She ignored the flashing cameras, the people in the stands, completely focused on the burn in her muscles as she circled the rink, going faster and faster, for a moment leaving all her troubles in the snow kicked up by her skates as she abruptly changed direction and sped to the other end.

Colors whirled around her as someone caught her by the waist and spun her in a wide circle. Her hands flattened on a solid chest. She locked her eyes on a spot in the stands to center herself and stop her head from spinning. She laughed as she realized that fixed point was Sebastian, watching her from just beyond the glass, and she blew him a kiss as she stopped spinning. It was too perfect that he was the one to steady her. But then he stood and frowned and the ice under her feet swayed.

She latched onto steel corded forearms and her eyes went wide as she stared up at Luke.

"Hey, boo."

"What do
you
want." She pushed away from him, skated backwards. "You shouldn't be here."

"I just wanted to . . . shit, Jami, this is messed up, and we both know it." Luke raked his fingers through his hair, then shrugged. "It doesn't have to be. Let's start over, okay? Just me and you. We both know
he
won't mind."

"Wait.
What?
" Tension coiled up at the front of her skull as she dug her toe picks into the ice and smacked her hands against his chest to stop him from getting closer. "What are you saying? And be very clear, Luke. I'm not in the mood for games."

"I want to take you out. On a normal date."

"
Normal?
" Damn it, she'd promised Sebastian she'd be nice, but it was very hard with Luke acting like a delusional dick. "So what am I, your token girlfriend so you can pretend to be straight?"

"I
am
straight." Luke scowled at her. "You've experimented and regretted it. Is it that hard to believe that I did the same?"

"Are you going to pretend that Sebastian means nothing to you?"

"I'm not pretending."

"Funny, for someone who demands the truth, you're awfully full of shit." She shoved him back, speaking quietly even though she was tempted to scream. As much as she wanted to expose him, if only to force him to face reality, it wasn't her place. She'd keep his little secret because she knew Sebastian would want her to. "You seem to be avoiding the fact that
I
set you up. Sebastian had nothing to do with it. You're going to hold it against him, but forgive me? How stupid are you?"

 
"I thought we had something." Luke slid away from her and scowled. "Maybe I was wrong."

"We
did
have something. You screwed it up." Her eyes burned as she glanced towards the stands. She couldn't find Sebastian. She needed him. How the hell was she supposed to handle Luke without him around? Since Luke had left them, she'd clung to Sebastian and done her best to ignore the hollow space inside. Refused to admit she missed Luke. That she wanted things to be like they had before. "If you want to fix this, do it right."