Breaker (Ondine Quartet Book 4) (39 page)

“But how? His power is beyond —”

“What is at stake?” Nexa asked.

I frowned. “Freedom.”

“And what is that exactly?”

“A world without the Shadow. Without war.”

Nexa shook her head. “Freedom is never dependent upon someone or something else. Freedom is simply the ability to choose. Nothing more, nothing less.”
 

“But that means every person could choose a different reason for the war.”

Nexa looked pleased. “Exactly.”

Irritation spiked. All I wanted was one answer. But the more I tried to hone in on it, the more impossible it seemed.

The Armicant’s words echoed within me.

Endings do not exist. There are only choices leading to other paths.

Maybe the writers from
Restless Passions
had also taken his advice.

Brigette studied me. “What do you think of what Marisol did at the end of the show?”

The four-time divorcee whose schemes hurt almost every person in Bryn Falls, had turned herself in for arson and financial fraud.
 

She’d finally decided that doing what was right and risking the possibility of losing her children was worth more than continuing a life of lies.

“Do you see her differently?” Nexa pressed.

Brigette crossed her legs, her eyes solemn.

Regret is a horrible monster to flee from.

If she had a chance to do it again, would she help my mother rather than laugh at her?
 

“What Marisol did for the future counted for more than what she did in the past.”

Brigette looked away.

“It is never about who we were.” A wisp of smoke escaped Nexa’s wrinkled lips. “It is about who we become.”
 

And that was where I’d made my mistake.
 

I’d been in such a rush to find a solution to the end, I’d neglected to see what was necessary to reach it.

It would be great if Aubrey designed a super-weapon that worked or if Brigette saw a prophecy showing us what we needed to do.

But they weren’t necessary. Just as the Council and Haverleau’s resources weren’t necessary.
 

They were simply options within a much larger scheme.

The Shadow said everything I needed to finish our story was already in front of me.

I thought of the girl who once gripped her father’s hand on a grand staircase, a princess in a castle. The girl who hid behind a pillar to watch a woman dance with her daughter across the sand.
 

What I’d learned in the GrandView boiler room had irrevocably colored and warped what I’d always believed about my life.

Had that girl really existed? Or had everything simply been another setup, another subtle manipulation?

You are not ready yet.

The Shadow was right. Power lay in discerning the truth from the lies and I didn’t have that yet.
 

Until we were equal, we couldn’t face each other and this war would not end.
 

Reliving the past was impossible; but understanding it better could change the future.

I looked at Nexa. “We go back to what we know. The beginning.”

Through the veil of smoke, her wizened face appeared proud and slightly sad.
 

“Always a good place to start.”

TWENTY-FIVE

A restless fatigue settled under my skin after I left Nexa’s cottage.

For all intents and purposes, we were back at square one. If weapons and prophecies wouldn’t end this war, what would? What were the answers I was supposed to find?

I entered the Training Center, needing a physical outlet. Beneath the exhaustion were layers of simmering anxiety, fear, and rage.

The grief over Ian, over our experiences in GrandView, clung like an invisible web over everything and the anxiety had worsened after Tristan left for his kingdom last night.

It wasn’t the fact that he left. He’d be returning to Haverleau in a week.

It was what remained unsaid between us.

Everything from the lies I’d told in concealing my plan to the memories of what had happened during those days in the Montana mountains.

Despite the nightly warmth and comfort of his arms, a distance that hadn’t been there before had developed between us.
 

I knew I’d put it there but I didn’t know how to fix it.

You want the love you are unable to give, what you withhold from your Warrior Prince.

Remembering the way he’d looked at me yesterday morning in bed sent a sweet ache cracking through my chest. Dawn had caught the gold highlights in his dark hair, grazing the line of his jaw, the curve of his mouth, splashing across eyes filled with everything that was right about my world.

I would feel better when he returned.
 

I sprinted up the stairs of the Training Center to the elites mat room. I could work up a good half-hour sweat before heading to Aubrey’s presentation.

Ethan, Alex, and Blaise were talking on the mat. Perfect.

“Hey,” I jogged over to join them. “Any of you up for sparring?”

Three pairs of eyes coolly looked at me.

“You didn’t even bother telling us when you got back,” Blaise said.
 

I shrugged, slightly surprised. “Sorry. Been busy with stuff —“

“You’re always busy,” Alex murmured.

Ethan and Blaise glared at me.

The shadow I’d spotted in Merbais had now fully settled across their faces.
 

Distrust.

“What’s going on?”

“I thought chevaliers were supposed to be fighting this war with you.” Ethan crossed his arms.
 

“You are —“

“But you only took Cam,” Alex pointed out. Hurt laced his tone. “You left us behind.”

“That’s not …” I took a deep breath. “I couldn’t take all of you.”

“It’s not just about us, though.” Ethan stepped forward, edging into my space. “You walked away from the Governorship, too.”

Restlessness gnawed on my stomach, looking for an outlet.

“Ethan,” I said quietly. “Step back.”

He didn’t. “You walked away from Haverleau, from the chevaliers. Guess being an Irisavie really does come with privileges.”
 

Wow. He really went there.

“Don’t give me that shit, Fournier. I trained my ass off just as much as you—“

“Having the chevalier mark doesn’t make you a chevalier.” Blaise’s brows came together. “Look at Julian. He’s been MIA so many times it’s enough to give you whiplash.”

Julian hadn’t been a good leader and his indecisiveness had hurt chevalier morale.
 

But I was tired of people constantly picking on him. They didn’t know how much he put his life at risk for us.

“Everything he’s done has been for elementals—“

“And now you’re siding with him.”

“Of course she is.” Blaise exchanged a meaningful glance with Ethan.

My hackles rose. “What the hell does that mean?”

“You know what I mean —“

“All right.” Alex shifted, attempting to push Blaise away. “That’s enough.”

“No.” Pissed, I stepped forward. “I want to know. Are you questioning my loyalties?”

“No question about your loyalty, Irisavie.” Resentment and anger burned in Ethan’s eyes. “Just questioning who it’s to.”
 

Anger boiled and I struggled to leash it.
 

My hands tightened into fists. “Ethan, knock it —“

“Maybe if you weren’t so busy getting it on with our Head Chevalier, he’d be here to actually do his job. What’s more important to you, Irisavie? Your friends or your pissing match with the Shadow? ‘Cause if Ian’s an example of how you treat your friends, I’m not sure —“

My fist smashed into his face. Pain flared against my cheek.

Someone yanked me off him.

Ethan stood and wiped the blood trickling down his lip. Good, I’d caught him hard.

“Cheap shot, Irisavie.”

“I should be saying that to you.”
 

“Both of you knock it off.” Irritation radiated off Cam. He let go of my shoulders and turned to Ethan. “What the hell are you doing?”
 

Ethan transferred his angry gaze to him. “You sticking up for her?” He shook his head in disgust. “Of course you are. You went Rogue with her. You left the chevaliers just like Julian and Gabe.”

Blaise gave a small shrug. “Maybe Kendra likes surrounding herself with quitters.”

“Shut up,” I snapped.

“I said,” Cam’s voice turned menacing, “knock it off!”

“What happened to bitching about Julian and Ian?””

“Maybe I changed my mind,” Cam growled. “Maybe it’s time I start bitching about you and Blaise.”

Alex turned to Ethan. “They’ve been through a rough time —“

“We all have” Ethan pulled his shirt collar down, displaying a thick ridge of scarring from an attack in the Selkie Kingdom. “We live with what we do —”

“Not all scars are visible,” Cam said quietly.

Ethan stood stone-faced, his gaze flickering between Cam and me.

Blaise clapped his back. “Come on. Let’s take a walk.”

He and Alex guided Ethan out of the mat room. I struggled to control the maelstrom of emotions swirling inside me.

“He just needed to let off steam.” Cam glanced at me. “Between Gabe leaving, Julian not really being around, then you and me…they’re a little sore right now.”

I swallowed the lump of hurt and anger. “You didn’t have to get involved.”

“Yeah, I did. Maybe you should tell them what really happen—“

“No.” I walked over to the bench.

A long pause. I braced myself for another of Cam’s persistent debates.

But he didn’t argue.

“Julian’s looking for you,” he said brusquely.

Surprised, I turned. “Why?”
 

He headed for the exit. “Have no idea. He’s down in the office.”
 

First, Brigette was eating my chips and watching
Restless Passions
with Nexa.

Now, Julian was actually in the Head Chevalier office and Cam was carrying messages for him.

Maybe I really had entered another universe.

The Training Center was unusually quiet. A few young recruits milled about, using the absence of older peers to take advantage of available equipment.

Most took one look at me and scurried out of the way.
 

The door to the office was partially open.

Julian leaned back in a rolling chair, his posture relaxed. Jeeves perched on the corner of the desk, eyes bright with good humor.
 

They possessed a slight resemblance in the angles of their jawline and cheekbone, their height and lean, muscular build.

But it was their matching aura of roguish charm and compelling charisma that marked them as father and son.

I walked in. “Isn’t this Christoph’s office now?” I asked as I walked in.
 

“Yeah, but in exchange for doing some of his paperwork, he lets me use it when I need to.”
 

Upon returning to Haverleau, Julian, Cam, and I were removed from the Rogue registry and reintegrated.

The airtight agreement Jeeves had drawn up with Patrice protected us whether we returned or not. I was given the guest house in the Royal Gardens and owned the property, free and clear. Cam had been reinstated at Lumiere just in time for his upcoming final exams and Julian had been reinstated to his position.

“What happened to you?”

Despite his easy smile, a faint weariness reflected in Julian’s eyes. It would take a long time for any of us to feel rested again.

“What do you mean?”

Jeeves subtly pointed at his own face and made an odd swiping motion.

I touched my nose. He shook his head.

I touched my cheek. Wetness clung to my fingers. A little blood from a scratch.

Jeeves politely offered a white handkerchief, his expression carefully neutral.

“Nothing.” I hastily wiped my cheek and handed it back. “A little disagreement.”

“Can the other guy still walk?” Julian asked dryly.

“Your chevaliers haven’t been compromised.”

He sighed. “Well, that’s the first good news I’ve gotten today.”

I took a seat. “What’s the bad?”

“We’ve had our first attack,” Jeeves told me.

“Where?”

“Nightclub in Lyondale.” Julian glanced at the paper on his desk. “Club Axis.”

“I know it.”

I’d first met Bastien there a year ago. He’d befriended Aubrey online, lured us out to the club where he worked as a bartender, and had his Aquidae attack us as we left.

Jeeves nodded. “I was just catching Julian up on that report.”

“What happened?”

“Five Aquidae cornered a chevalier patrol in the back alley behind the club. We lost one of ours, but the rest of the team eliminated the demons.”

“Who was the target?”
 

Julian exchanged a glance with Jeeves. “We don’t know.”

“It was a routine patrol,” Jeeves said. “Nothing out of the ordinary. This particular one was assigned to the southeast section of Lyondale. According to reports, the Aquidae appeared to have been waiting outside the club until the patrol arrived.”

Odd.
 

If they wanted to attack, they were countless other locations along that route that were better concealed and would draw far less attention. Why Club Axis?

“With just one attack, it’s hard to tell if there’s any kind of pattern or the objective behind it.” Julian looked at me. “I’ll keep you updated if anything new comes up.”
 

I nodded. “Is that what you needed to tell me?”

“There is something else.” Jeeves shifted slightly. “Patrice wants to pass a motion for Gilroy’s execution and is currently gathering Council support.”

“What do you want to do?” Julian rubbed his jaw. “Should we keep him around? See if he has any more answers?”

Scabbard put it in!

My mind flashed back to our first day at GrandView.

“Remember that stuff Scabbard injected into Ian?”

A shadow fell across Julian’s eyes. “Yeah.”

“Gilroy might know something about that. Maybe something more about Scabbard, too.”