Breaker (Ondine Quartet Book 4) (41 page)

“A soul?” I said bitterly.

“No. Trust.” He paused. “Ain’t you heard that sayin’ about giving in order to receive?”

“I trust my friends.”

“Do you?” Sharp eyes locked on me. “What do they know about you?”

“They know enough.”

Skepticism settled across his face. “What do they know ‘bout your past? ‘bout what happened at that hotel?”

I didn’t answer.

“So let me get this straight. You trust ‘em but only to a certain extent.”

“That’s normal.”

He barked out a laugh. “There ain’ nothin’ normal ‘bout any of this. Normal set sail a long time ago and if you haven’t accepted that yet, then you got even bigger problems than I thought.”

“Yeah, well, excuse me if I don’t think trust is that powerful of a currency.” I rested my hands on the table and faced him.
 

Holden’s expression sobered. He suddenly looked far older than his age.

“This is what I see. Someone who spent a lifetime Rogue, an outsider. Someone who’s got real prickly defenses, probably ‘cause she had to do things most people can’t imagine to become who she is.”

I picked up the crossbow. It was light, perfectly balanced, and felt as good in my hands as I thought it would.
 

“You’re the
sondaleur
, the single most important person elementals have been waiting for. Your magic means no one can ever lie or keep a secret around you. You’re mighty quick with the blade. Not only are you Redavi, but you were also related to the Governor and Head Chevalier. At one point, you were also the Governor.”

I put down the weapon. “What’s your point?”

He replaced the bullet on the table and headed for the door. “That’s a helluva lot of power, Irisavie. People want to see their heroes as mortal, not invincible.”

I stayed behind for a few more minutes, my fingers grazing the deadly lines and curves Aubrey built, and mulling over his words.

How many of these had she designed with Ian before he left?

How many had been a product of her grief?

After several more minutes, she still hadn’t returned.

I finally gave up and crossed the hall to the massive target practice room. Renovations to accommodate crossbow and throwing stars practice had already been made and the space bustled with activity.
 

A few young ondines clustered near Michael and Dax in a sectioned off area along the far corner.

Dax called out. “Kendra.”

Reluctantly, I joined the group. Wide eyes watched me with a combination of fear and awe.

“What is it?”

Michael handed me a small blade glowing with Essence.

I held the throwing knife in my open palm, absorbing its weight into my skin. Nice balance.

My fingers fit comfortably around the smooth, black handle. Power thrummed in the same way as the brand on my chest.
 

“We’re practicing the basics,” Dax said casually. “Thought the
sondaleur
might show them correct form.”
 

I glanced at him.

His eyes gleamed with challenge. “Unless of course you don’t want to—“

I dropped.
 

In one fluid motion, I spun, straightened, aimed, and threw the knife.
 

It sailed across the distance and sank into the target with a satisfying thunk.

Michael gave a low whistle. “Nice.”

One of the ondines narrowed her eyes at me. Her slightly pinched expression reminded me of Amber.
 

“Do you ever miss?”

You don’t lie, either deliberately or by omission. You don’t make decisions for others.

The Shadow’s lies had stained the entire fabric of my life. He’d set-up and manipulated situations, wresting choice and control away from me.

If I had any chance of stopping him, I needed to understand the truth about my life, about me, outside of what I’d accepted without question.
 

If I wanted to find what I was searching for, I had to start with me.

“No.” I gazed at their pale, young faces and wished my answer could be different.
 

“You miss, you die.”

TWENTY-SIX

The streets of East Lyondale flashed by. Tall buildings of steel and glass glinted against the sky and sidewalks bustled with mid-day activity.

When I’d first arrived, I’d equated Haverleau with imprisonment and Lyondale with freedom. The city was a curfew-breaking destination, a place to release energy pent-up.

But then I saw moonlight illuminate the broken glass of an industrial warehouse and bathe the broken body of a friend sliding down a rusty wall.

I saw the dreary walls of my mother’s confinement, where she’d battled her Virtue and drowned in nightmares.

I saw the heated copper pipes and iron manacles of a theatrical stage as a once beloved father sold children like cattle.
 

Now I knew Lyondale as a battlefield, a city just as much a casualty of this war as Merbais or Fontesceau.

Jeeves pulled the SUV into a back alley between the white arches and graceful lines of Lyondale Hospital and the dowdy, run-down building beside it.

I finally tuned in to the kvetching of our backseat passenger.

“How many times do I have to tell you I’m not sick?” Gilroy protested. “Why are you taking me to the hospital? You’re using me for some type of medical experiment, aren’t you? This is a violation of human rights.”

“Which would only be a problem if you were a human,” Jeeves murmured as he exited.

I climbed out, opened the back seat, and dragged our protesting nix out.
 

Gilroy halted, his eyes blinking furiously in the bright sunlight.
 

I tugged his elbow. “Let’s go.”
 

He resisted. “Give me a minute, all right? I haven’t been outside since —”

“You get outdoor privileges every day.”

I yanked him forward and he stumbled slightly. “Are you allowed to take me out like this? ‘Cause I don’t see any chevaliers or gardinels and —“

“It’s either this or the new Governor orders your execution.” I paused. “If that’s what you prefer, I can take you back.”

He shut up.

Jeeves pressed the buzzer next to a thick door of reinforced steel. A camera mounted in the corner swiveled, focusing on him, then on Gilroy and me.

I gave a half-hearted wave.

The door buzzed open.
 

The elemental wing had the slightly claustrophobic feel of a run-down bunker. Windowless with outdated furniture and carpeting, it was a preserved time capsule of days long past.
 

A middle-aged woman with frizzy light brown hair and a round face sat behind the receptionist desk.

According to Daniel, Rhonda’s father was a Rogue demillir who’d mated with a human. She’d been here for several years.

Once again, she didn’t bother looking up from her monitor to acknowledge our arrival. Sometimes, I wondered if she’d fallen into a coma and everyone had simply forgotten about her.

Daniel walked into the waiting area, wire-rimmed glasses slipping down his nose.
 

“Morning,” Jeeves said pleasantly. “I hope you’re ready for your newest patient.”

Gilroy muttered something under his breath.

A girl’s laughter floated down the hallway. “Is someone else here?”

The wing was usually empty. Once I took down the local Aquidae cell, the number of attacks had drastically dropped, resulting in less treatments.

Daniel nodded. “An ondine was injured during weapons practice. She accidentally got between a target and a throwing star.”

Jeeves’ brow furrowed. “Why wasn’t I notified?”

“A quick thinking chevalier brought her in a few minutes ago. You must’ve just missed each other.”

At that moment, that quick-thinking chevalier stepped out of the exam room, wearing a blindingly bright sweatshirt the color of mottled tangerine and lime.
 

“Hi,” Alex said serenely.

I blinked. That shirt was impressively hideous.

Daniel glanced at the receptionist. “Rhonda, I know it’s a little early, but why don’t you take your lunch break? We’re fine here.”

She stood and slung a purse over her shoulder. “Do you need anything?”

There was a high-pitched quietness to her voice like that of a shy girl.

“No, I brought my own lunch.” Daniel smiled. “Let me guess. It’s Thursday so that must mean Golden Panda.”

Rhonda smiled and hurried out.

Daniel chuckled. “She’s been going to the same Chinese take-out place the entire four years she’s been here. Now. Let’s get Mister,” he consulted his notes, “Gillian set-up in the back room, shall we?”

“Your name is Gilroy Gillian,” I deadpanned.

Jeeves struggled to contain a smile.

Gilroy flushed. “Don’t call me that.”

Jeeves took his arm and followed Daniel. The trio disappeared down the corridor leaving behind me, Alex, and a terribly awkward silence in the waiting room.

He settled into a chair near the door. I reluctantly took a seat a few chairs away.

I cleared my throat. “Who got hurt?”

“Helene.”

“How?” I straightened. “What happened?”

“One of the younger ondines wasn’t paying attention when she threw the star. It caught Helene across her arm. Michael took her to the clinic but the Healer refused to treat her.”

Anger uncoiled. “Why?”

“Because she thought the training program was a bunch of bullshit and she wanted to use Helene as an example.”

“Can she do that?”

“Healers can use their judgment for who they want to treat.” He shrugged and slouched back. “I was near the clinic when it happened. Michael had to teach a class and couldn’t bring her. I had two free periods so I offered to do it. Chloe came, too.”

Great.

“She went to the hospital cafeteria to grab lunch for us. She’ll be back in a bit.”

Another silence fell.

Alex sighed. He unfolded his frame out of the chair and took the seat across me.

“Irisavie, listen—“

“It’s okay. I know.”

“Do you?” His eyes locked on to me. “I’m your friend, Kendra, and we’re both chevaliers. I will always fight alongside you. But you gotta understand how it looks to the other guys. Even as your friend, I have a hard time understanding how you could abandon everything and go Rogue.”

“I didn’t abandon —“

“Then why didn’t you take me?” he asked softly. “Ethan and Blaise? We fought with you in the Selkie Kingdom. We were Elites together.”

“It wasn’t about ability or trust.” I leaned forward and balanced my elbows on my knees. “I needed you at Haverleau. So many evacuees coming in from Merbais and Fontesceau and I didn’t want to leave the community vulnerable.”

“But you took Cam and Julian.”

“Because they had their own reasons for coming. Cam needed to find Oliver. And Julian…” I paused. “I needed Julian.”

Other than Tristan, he was the only person I trusted to have my back unconditionally.

Walking away from the Governorship, leaving Tristan, and going Rogue had been a lot harder than I let on.

Having his support had been crucial.
 

Alex nodded. “Okay.”

“That’s it?”

“Still don’t agree with what you did because I think we could’ve helped. But I get why you did it. Just wish you’d told us.”

The steel door opened. The mouth-watering scent of fried rice wafted through a moment before Rhonda entered, her cheeks slightly pink.

Alex’s stomach grumbled. “That smells good.”

“It is very good.” She returned to her desk. “Golden Panda is just down the block. I highly recommend their fried rice and the fortune cookies are fantastic.”

I stood. “Tell Helene I’ll drop by before you leave.”

Alex nodded, already distracted by the food.

I made my way down the forlorn corridor and opened the third door on the right.

Gilroy sat on a bed, his sleeve pushed high. A band-aid held a cotton ball against his inner elbow.
 

“Medical experimentation without consent has to break some kind of law,” Gilroy muttered.

“Actually, it breaks four different ones,” Jeeves said without missing a beat.

He elegantly lounged on a chair beside the bed, thumbing through an old issue of a news magazine.
 

“Where’s Daniel?”

Jeeves looked up. “Running tests.”

Perfect. I shut the door and faced Gilroy.

“I need you to answer questions.”

His gaze darted to the dagger sheathed by my side. “You didn’t have to bring me all the way here to answer a few —“

“Tell me about Scabbard.”

Jeeves froze.

“I told you everything I know about him.” Gilroy’s gaze dropped to the floor, then flitted to the wall behind me.

Empath reached in. Fear, uncertainty, irritation, and the anxious nervousness from trying to conceal something.

He blinked and stared at the air around me.

“What are you doing?”

“Oh, are you afraid of my Virtue?”

His throat worked. “I don’t like —“

“But Empath won’t hurt you. It’ll just tell me if you’re lying.”

I stood in front of him and smiled. He paled, his pasty skin matching the bed sheets.

“And right now, you’re lying to me, Gilroy.”

“Wh…what do you wanna know?”

“You told me who Scabbard was rumored to be. Where he was from, what he does. I want to know
how
he became who he is. Tell me what he’s injected with.”

“How do you know —”

“Answer the question.”

Gilroy swallowed. “It’s his blood.”

Empath sensed no dissonance between his emotions and words. He was telling the truth.

“You mean the Shadow’s blood,” Jeeves clarified.

I shook my head. “Can’t be. Otherwise, Scabbard would be an Aquidae. I’ve seen a turning.”

He glared. “This is the problem with elementals. You always think your way, your magic, is the only way of doing things.”

I raised my brow. “So enlighten me.”

“Think of magic like an enhancement. It lets ondines manipulate and change their surroundings, gives them an edge so they can assimilate into human society without anyone becoming suspicious. It gives selkies all that super strength, speed, and healing. It’s also why nix blood negates it. You’re still there, just not…enhanced.”