Breaking Clear (Full Hearts Series Book 3) (12 page)

“Correction. I said, ‘See you around, sailor.’”

“That makes it so much worse, somehow.” Megan winced. “But wait, I’m confused. You had this amazing fantasy night together so why, exactly, don’t you want to do it again?”

“I don’t know,” Harper groaned, running her hands down her neck. “No, that’s not true. I sort of do. I think it’s because it was all just too intense, you know? It wasn’t just sex, it was different. It was like there was all this passion and emotion to it. And the way he looked at me . . . I’ve never been looked at like that before. It was like he was peering into my soul or something.”

“So it scared you a little,” Megan said.

“No, it scared me a lot,” Harper answered, chewing on her top lip. “It’s like playing with fire. You’re pretty much guaranteed to end up in intensive care.”

“Maybe. Or maybe it would be the best thing that ever happened to you?” Megan inquired hopefully. “Let me ask you this: If he called you right now, would you want to rush back over there?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know. Maybe. What would be the point? I’m going back to New York as soon as I can. The safest thing would be to just leave it alone. It was just sex. Mind-blowing, earth-moving sex with the man of my dreams. But that’s all it was.”

*     *     *

By the time Evan got home from work, the sun had already disappeared from the sky—like Harper, leaving only the faintest sign it had been there. He could see that there were no lights on at her house and he knew where she was. He sighed as he parked his truck, thinking about how things had been just twenty-four hours ago. They had been sitting together on a blanket, eating dinner and watching the sunset. He knew he shouldn’t be going down that road but he just couldn’t stop himself. She drew him to her with everything she did, every little comment, every move of her body, every look. She drew him to her with her sadness. He thought back to her sitting in the yard in her ball gown. He’d noticed her from the kitchen window first and had taken a few minutes to just watch her, fascinated. It didn’t take him long to see by the slump of her shoulders that she was hurting. The need to make her feel better was instant and overwhelming. He’d come out, pretending he hadn’t seen her so as not to embarrass her. If she knew that he suspected she was sad or vulnerable in any way, she would hate it.

But now that he’d been with her, touched her, felt her naked body wrapped around him, he realized exactly how right he had been when he told her it was a horrible idea. He was certain that if he let things go on, he’d be making the biggest mistake of his life. He couldn’t let himself be drawn in like this. Those walls around his heart were there for a reason. Harper was a love ’em and leave ’em kind of girl; she was itching to get back to her life in New York. He’d be nothing more than a pit stop for her before she disappeared again, only this time, she’d take his heart with her if he let her.

He trudged into the house and relieved his tired feet from the heavy confines of his steel-toed boots, swearing under his breath at the mess he had made of things. Everything seemed wrong at this moment, and he was hungry and tired and sore. If it weren’t for the massive quantity of regret he felt, he’d be completely empty.

Showering did nothing to enliven his spirits and now, as he sat on his deck alone, eating reheated leftovers, the solitude of his life started to reveal itself to him. Hadn’t he been better off the night before, sharing a meal with Harper?

*     *     *

A couple of hours later, he heard Roy’s truck pull up. In spite of his better judgment, Evan found himself jogging down the front steps to meet Harper as she walked up the sidewalk to her dad’s house. His heart pounded at the sight of her.

“Hi,” he said.

Harper stopped, then gave him a breezy look. “Hi yourself.”

“I wanted to talk to you about how we left things this morning.” His eyes searched hers for answers.

Harper sighed heavily, rubbing her hand down her cheek. “Yes. As much as I hate to admit it, I think you may have been right about this whole thing.”

Evan nodded. “You mean about it being a terrible idea.”

“Mmhmm. I think we’d be fooling ourselves if we thought we could let this go on without any consequences, right?”

“Because it would be complicated?”

“Exactly. And neither of us can do complicated,” she stated.

“I don’t know. I bet we could find a way to keep it simple.”

Harper shook her head. “I’m not so confident about that.”

Evan nodded. “The last thing I would ever want to do is hurt you, Harper. I can stay away from you if that’s what you need. I won’t like it, but I will.”

“I think that’s what I need. My life is really a mess right now. I wouldn’t be good for anyone, like this.”

“Okay. At least I can enjoy the fact that I was right. I’ll always have that.” He bumped her playfully with his shoulder, hoping to lighten the mood. “If you change your mind, you know where to find me.”

“I won’t.”

Evan swallowed hard. His heart had been in his throat as he made this one last offer, but now it had sunk down to his gut. Giving her a soft, slow kiss on the cheek, he drank in the scent of her one last time. “Take care. You call if you need anything.”

“Thanks. You too.” Harper’s eyes mirrored the sadness he was feeling.

He stared at her for a moment before he turned and walked away.

*     *     *

That night, Harper collapsed onto her bed with a loud groan. Why the hell had she gone with him last night? It would have been so much easier if she had never slept with him. She’d been better off dreaming about him than knowing what it was like to be with him and needing to forget. Her time with him had been more incredible than she’d thought possible, so much more than she’d experienced with any other man.

It wasn’t just his amazing body. It wasn’t just how their bodies moved together, so perfectly in sync. It wasn’t just the pleasure he gave her. It was the way he looked at her, the way he kissed her, the way he touched her. He made her feel like she was the only woman who had ever existed. He had taken her away, let her escape her life. And for the briefest of moments, she had felt loved and adored. She’d fallen asleep in his arms knowing the dreams she would have that night would be nothing compared to the one she was living. And then, in a blink, reality had set in, leaving her a hot mess. Tears of frustration streamed down her cheeks and into her hair. What the hell was she doing here? She should be back in New York, out with her friends or in her office, busy. Instead she was alone with her thoughts all day and night. And tonight, her thoughts were torturing her.

“Dad, this is Dr. Chan, the psychologist that Dr. Smyth recommended.”

“No thank you, Dr. Chan. I already told Dr. Smyth and my daughter here that I don’t want to talk about how I’m feeling.”

Dr. Chan gave him a friendly smile. “That’s okay. I’ll just sit here anyway. Your daughter has prepaid for five sessions at one hundred and eighty dollars an hour. But if you want to spend her money in silence, that’s fine too.”

“That’s almost a thousand dollars!” Roy turned to Harper with wide eyes. “What the hell, kid?”

“I figured this would be the only way to get you to agree to it. We talked about this, Dad. And you need this.” Harper stared him down. “I’m going to sit in the hall for the next hour. Don’t waste my money.”

She gave Dr. Chan a little wink on her way out.

An hour later, Dr. Chan opened the door. Light spilled out into the hallway from Roy’s room.

“You got him to open the curtains?”

“No, I opened them. That’s the advantage of having him in that bed. He couldn’t stop me.”

“Did he talk?”

“Yes. Opening the curtains certainly got him talking. I’ll be back in two days. I’d like to come back twice a week for now.”

“Thank you. Whatever we can do to help him.”

“Harper, I know you want to respect your father’s wishes, but you also have to be careful not to feed into his depression out of kindness. You may need to make choices for him that he won’t make for himself right now. Start with simple things, like letting some light into the room, bringing in a radio or some CDs. Play his favourite music or, if he likes, talk-radio programs. That type of thing. He needs to keep his mind busy so he doesn’t spiral any further.”

“Okay, I will,” Harper said. “Thank you, doctor.”

“You’re welcome. And one last thing. Make sure you take care of yourself so his current state doesn’t start to adversely affect you. Do you have a good support system here?”

“I do. I have some good friends here, and my brothers.”

“Good. You let me know if you ever need to talk.”

*     *     *

Later that day, Harper found herself wandering the aisles of the supermarket, pondering dinner, when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned to see Monica, an old friend from high school, who had been among the concert-goers. The pair exchanged pleasant hellos.

“Crazy how we haven’t seen each other in years, then twice in a week,” Monica remarked. “That was a great concert the other night. Did you all have fun at the pub? I was sorry I had to miss it.”

“I didn’t stay too long, actually. We’ll have to do it sometime when you and Megan can both be there.” Harper smiled.

“I would love that. I don’t get out nearly as much as I’d like since Jayden was born,” Monica answered. “Say, I wanted to ask you about something Brent told me at the concert.”

Harper stiffened at the mention of Brent’s name.

“He said you’re going to be in town for a few months, maybe? Is that right?”

“Yes, it looks like it. I’m staying as long as my dad needs me,” Harper answered, her shoulders relaxing.

Monica wrinkled up her nose as though she weren’t sure if she should ask her next question. “I’m wondering if you might have a little free time. I’m starting a chapter of Fashion Forward here. It’s an organization that helps women find employment. One of the things we do is provide them with business attire for interviews. I could really use an expert on staff.”

“That’s a great cause! We ran an article about it last year. I would love to be a part of it. Right now I actually have nothing but time on my hands. My dad won’t be out of the hospital for weeks.”

“Really? That’s so great! Well, not about your dad, I mean. I’m sorry for what he’s going through. I’m just really relieved you said yes. I’ve rounded up a lot of dress clothes, but I honestly don’t know how to put together the right looks and accessorize them.”

“Well, that’s something I do know,” Harper answered, just as Monica’s cell rang.

“Shoot. I have to take this. I’ll get your number from Meg so we can get together, okay?”

“That would be lovely.”

Harper and Evan managed to avoid each other over the next two weeks in spite of both their proximity and their longing for one another. The weather had allowed Evan to spend long days working. Even though things were going smoothly at the site, he found himself short-fused and grouchy. Then he felt angry at himself for his mood, which led him to wonder how long it would take before Harper was out of his system. On the weekend, he loaded Boots into the truck and drove a few hours out of town to go solo climbing and camping. He hoped the distance and distraction would lessen his yearning for her, but it did not have the desired effect. Instead, he found himself tossing and turning in his tent, thinking of Harper when he should have been sleeping. As much as he wished he could just forget what had happened, there would be no free pass this time.

For her part, Harper split her days between readying the house for her father’s return and meeting with Monica to finalize things at the Fashion Forward headquarters. Grateful that she now had a lot to accomplish, she woke each morning with a sense of purpose that helped push aside the horrible tugging at her heart when she first opened her eyes. With mere days until the opening, the office was a whirlwind of activity, with its four volunteers trying to get word out about the charity as well as making last-minute preparations. Megan joined them to take photos for the website. Excitement and a sense of community filled the air as they worked.

On opening day, everything had been set up and exhilaration flowed. The space held racks of outfits that were already coordinated and arranged by colour and size. A small play area, with donated toys and child-sized tables and chairs, had been created. The smell of fresh coffee and warm donuts welcomed clients. Four women were already booked in and three more came in without appointments. Monica introduced Harper to the clients as their personal stylist, making sure to provide Harper’s credentials. Each woman received two new outfits complete with shoes, a dress coat, a purse and accessories. Harper coached each of the women on the secrets of makeup application and how to carry themselves with confidence. By the time they walked out the door, she made sure it was with their heads held high. Hair salons from around the city gave away gift cards for services to provide the final touches.

Monica and a couple of other volunteers sat at small desks assisting clients with fixing up their resumés and writing cover letters. Optimism was the order of the day, and the buzz of excitement that had started the morning hadn’t worn off by the time they closed up. The friends sat around the desks, tired but filled with a sense of accomplishment as they talked about how well things had gone.

“Thank you so much, Harper. You’re absolutely perfect for this work,” Monica said. “We’re so lucky you came on board.”

“Thank you for asking me. It’s funny, really. When I worked for
Style
, one of my favourite things was seeing real women wearing the looks we’d put together for our photo shoots, but it wouldn’t be until months later. And I didn’t get to meet them. I just had to hope they had gotten a little lift from looking good. But this is so personal and so immediate. It’s just wonderful.”

“Wonderful enough that you might stay?” Monica’s eyes were hopeful.

Harper beamed. “How about I’ll be here as much as I can until I leave?”

“We’ll take what we can get.”