Breaking Clear (Full Hearts Series Book 3) (18 page)

“Oh shit.”

“Exactly what I was thinking. Turns out he had been one of the people I had zigged and zagged around. He saw me run a yellow. He claims it was red; he may have been right. I had scared the shit out of him when I cut in front of him, and he spilled his coffee all over his pants.”

“So you might have been better off being a few minutes late, then.”

Evan laughed. “Possibly. As it turned out, it didn’t matter in the end. We were never going to like each other anyway.”

“God, that must have been insanely awkward.”

“Yes. Yes, it was.”

“What did Avery say?”

“Turns out it did a little something for her. She liked the whole bad-boy thing at the time.”

“I shouldn’t have asked.”

“In the end that doesn’t matter either, does it?” Evan replied with a shrug.

“Do you miss it? The Porsche, I mean,” Harper asked, happy to change the subject from that of his ex-wife.

“A little, once in a while. It was pretty sweet. But to be totally honest, it was never that comfortable. Sports cars aren’t great for tall guys.”

“I never thought of that.”

“Sad but true. It’s one of the great tragedies of life.”

“There must be a support group somewhere for that.”

They lay together for a moment, Evan running his fingertips along the length of her arm. “You know what? I think this is my favourite moment of us together so far.”

“Of course. We’ve had sex three times this evening and we’re both naked.”

“No, I mean, this moment right now. Just really talking.” He planted a kiss on her forehead.

*     *     *

A little while later as Harper drifted off to sleep, Evan lay awake watching her, a sinking feeling in his stomach. He thought of how she’d used the term trash to describe her family, and it made him ache for her. On the outside, she was a tough, savvy, sexy woman, but tonight he’d had another glimpse behind the mask. The pain of her past was so carefully hidden away that no one would ever see it. He’d gotten too close tonight and she had done the only thing she knew how, which was to take them back to being just physical. But he was way beyond that now. He thought of the anger he’d felt when his mom had brought up Harper’s past. The instinct to protect her was automatic then, just as it was now, as she lay in his arms. He was going to protect her for as long as she would let him. Even if that meant protecting her from his own unwelcome feelings.

His mind wandered back to the promise he had made her, that he would never ask for more than she could give. But tonight he’d come close. He had wanted to ask her to stay. Forever.

“So, that head shrinker you’ve got me seeing says we need to talk about your mom. She’s pretty sure that what happened is stopping all of us from moving on with our lives.” Roy paused to spoon some oatmeal into his mouth. “And I think she might have something there.”

Harper lifted her chin defiantly. “Well, I can only speak for myself but I’m pretty sure I’ve managed to move on just fine.”

“Have you? According to her, there’s a difference between running and moving on. It seems to me like you’ve just been running, like the rest of us.”

Harper set her gaze at the window. She hadn’t yet asked Roy if he still missed Petra and this seemed like the perfect opening. “You probably don’t remember, but when you first woke from your surgery, you called me Petra. You said you missed her.”

Roy nodded slowly as though trying to take in this bit of news. “If you had brought that up a few weeks ago, I would have lied to you, but I can see now that it’s time to face the truth about everything. Part of me has always missed her—well, what we had more than her, really. It felt like we had a family when she was still here. But it kind of dissolved when she left, didn’t it?”

Harper nodded but stayed silent.

“I don’t want her back, Harper. I never will. I
do
want to have my family back, though, and in order to do that, we need to talk about what happened.”

“I’m fine. We’re fine,” Harper answered firmly.

Roy waited a moment before speaking again. “We’re not fine. And as much as I have to sort all this out for myself, you need to do the same. The thing is Harper, it’s my fault—”

“It’s certainly—” Harper started but Roy’s finger in the air silenced her.

“And I want to fix this if I can. I should have gotten you and the boys some help when the whole thing happened. But I was so wrapped up in my own . . . head . . . and I didn’t know what to do. I wanted the whole thing to just go away. I figured bringing it up would be a lot worse for you than trying to forget about it.”

“It’s been twenty years, Dad. We can just forget it now.”

“I don’t think we can. When I think about you kids, I can see that it’s not over, no matter how much I wish it was. I know how hard it is for you to be back here. I know you’re ashamed when you’ve got nothing to be ashamed of. You should hold your head high wherever you go, because you’re a good person—a strong, successful woman. But I worry about you and your brothers. Not one of you has gotten married or had kids. Hell, I don’t even think any of you have shacked up with someone. It’s not a coincidence, is it?”

Harper glared at her father. “Just because I haven’t gotten married doesn’t mean I don’t have the life I want. I have—had—a pretty kick-ass career and a terrific life, and I’m going to get it back when the time is right. I don’t really care what your therapist says.” Harper tapped her chest with her finger. “I get to choose the life I want.”

Roy tilted his head thoughtfully. “You do, kid. You get to decide for yourself, but just make sure you aren’t ruling out some wonderful possibilities because they scare you, okay? Make the life you really want. Really, deep down.”

“I have. I’m fine, so let’s just drop it, okay?” Harper’s bottom lip trembled. She bit down on it to force it back in line. “I should go. I have an appointment with one of the Fashion Forward ladies at eleven.” She stood to leave.

“Okay. I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just really want you to live the life you want. I know what it’s like to look back and see that you didn’t. I’ve spent months now with nothing but time to think about all the things I regret.” Roy reached for Harper’s hand and took it in his. His eyes filled with tears. “It’s too late for me in a lot of ways. I can’t go back and change my life, but nothing would make me happier than seeing you and your brothers live your dreams.”

Harper screwed up her chin, trying to stop her tears. “It’s not too late for you. Don’t say that, okay?”

Roy nodded. “Well, it’s too late for a lot of things. I can’t start over with you kids, I can’t go back and do a better job of things after your mother left, but if I can help you somehow, it’ll mean I didn’t fuck all this up completely.”

“You didn’t fuck anything up, Dad. Mom did that on her own. You did the best you could to clean up her mess.”

“There’s still a lot left to do. And I aim to do it. I need you to let me finish cleaning up.” Roy squeezed her hand.

Harper nodded. “Okay. I won’t fight you, but really, know that I’m okay, Dad.”

“Good girl. I love you, kid. So much.” Roy smiled through his tears. “You’re strong and smart and you’re good to the core. And I know I haven’t told you this enough, but I’m so proud of you.”

*     *     *

The next morning, instead of going straight to the clinic, Harper drove downtown for breakfast and a little shopping. She parked and strolled across the quiet street to the little diner where she and Megan had agreed to meet and saw her waving enthusiastically as she approached. Giving each other a quick but warm hug, they went inside and settled themselves into a booth to get caught up. Because neither woman needed to scan the menu, knowing she would order the same thing she always did, they were able to dive right into girl talk.

“Dish. I need details,” Megan said.

Harper laughed. “It’s like . . . volcano-hot sex.”

Megan’s eyes grew wide. “Wow. That good?”

“I’m having so many orgasms I’m starting to worry I’ll run out.”

“Not possible.”

The waitress came by with two waters and a pot of coffee. They ordered before picking up the conversation where they had left off.

Megan gave her a questioning look. “But what else? Do you think it’s going to go anywhere?”

“Definitely not. Which is exactly why it’s working so well. We both knew the score going in. I’m only here for a while, then it’ll be done. I’m thinking that actually adds to the heat, knowing it’s temporary.”

“Really?” Megan wrinkled up her nose. “You’re sure neither of you is going to start thinking about a future together?”

“No. Not a chance. We’re both being adult about it.” Harper glanced down at her friend’s hand, seeing a shiny rock where there had been nothing before. She gasped, grabbing Megan’s hand with hers. “Oh my God. Is that what I think it is?”

Megan nodded, eyes suddenly shining with excitement. “It is. But we were talking about you.”

“Forget me! I need details! Now!”

“Okay, good. Because I was about to burst if I couldn’t tell you soon!” Megan laughed. “It was a total surprise. We had agreed a long time ago that the whole wedding thing really didn’t matter to either of us, but Luc just decided he wanted to make it official. Last Saturday he took Elliott out for a few hours. I thought they were going to the playground, but really Luc took him for lunch to ask him if he would be happy if we got married. I guess Elliott jumped up from his seat and ran to Luc for a hug. I wish I had seen it. Just the thought of it brings tears to my eyes.” Megan fanned at her eyes for a moment. “Okay, anyway, after lunch, he brought Elliott with him to help pick out a ring.”

“Oh, that Luc. In all the years I’ve known him, I didn’t think he had it in him.”

“And yet he does,” Megan said. “So, he had this whole plan to get my mom to babysit so he could take me out for a fancy dinner, but he realized that he wanted the kids there to share in the moment. So instead, he stopped at the bakery on the way home and had them write ‘Will you marry me?’ on a carrot cake.”

“Your favourite dessert. Aww. Very sweet!”

“I know. When they got home, I was a total wreck, still in my pyjamas, passed out on a lounge chair in the yard with the baby. I probably had drool hanging from my mouth. He and Elliott came outside with this box from the bakery, and Elliott says, ‘Mom, can we have dessert before supper tonight?’ and I said, ‘No, I might be tired but I’m still the same mom you’ve always had.’ But then I see this grin on his face, and I look at Luc and he is so excited he can hardly stand still. So I asked them what was going on.”

“Oh, I wish this was all on video because I would kill to see it!”

“I’m glad it isn’t. I was super gross that day,” Megan said quickly. “So, then Luc says, ‘Just take a look at the dessert. I think you’ll like it.’ He gives Elliott this little nod and Elliott opens the box and says, ‘Not me. Luc.’

“So I start crying and nodding, and before I know it, Luc’s on one knee with the ring box, and he says, ‘
Mon ange
, say you’ll be mine forever, because I will always be yours.’

“I sat up and we kissed and woke Amelie, and she started fussing while Luc slipped the ring onto my finger, and then we were all hugging and laughing and crying together.” Megan’s eyes shone with tears as she finished her story, just in time for her plate of eggs Benedict to be placed before her.

Harper got up and gave her a huge hug. “I am so friggin’ happy for you. All four of you. I think I might be the happiest for Elliott. He’s needed a real father for so long. It gives me hope that life really can turn out beautifully.”

“It can!” Megan said. She paused, smiling at Harper as she watched her return to her seat. “And it will turn out beautifully for you too. I just know it.”

“God, I hope so,” Harper replied. “But back to you. Have you started making wedding plans?”

“We have. It’s going to be a lot sooner than you’d expect. Luc’s aunt and uncle are coming in three weeks to meet all of us and we thought we’d do it then. They’re really the only family he’s got. It’s going to be very simple. At home, just family and a few friends. My brother and his wife can come up with the kids then as well. We’re going to have it in the late afternoon out by the pool and then have a caterer serve dinner right after the ceremony. Nothing big. No gifts.”

“Sounds perfect.”

“I think so too. I’ve already done the big wedding and I really don’t want to do it again. Luc has hardly any family, and his friends wouldn’t all be able to come this far anyway.”

“It’ll be wonderful,” Harper replied, pouring some ketchup next to her hash browns. “Good for you, Megs. Can I do anything to help?”

“Well, I do want to ask you something important. We’re not having a best man or a maid of honour, but I do need a photographer. And there is no one I’d rather have than you.”

“What? Seriously? That’s a little intimidating for me. Are you sure you don’t want to hire someone in the industry?”

“Positive. I love all the photos you’ve taken of us over the years. You’re the one who will be able to capture who we really are. I don’t want a bunch of staged, phony smiles. I want the real moments. And you have an incredible eye. If you need help setting up a few family shots, I can get you started and you’ll just have to press the button. But you won’t need help. You know what you’re doing.”

“Well, Megan, if my best friends want me to take photos on their wedding day, I will take photos. And it will be an honour.”

“Yippee! I’m so glad you said yes!” Megan looked elated as she tucked a lock of angel-blond hair behind her ear.

“Now, have you thought dresses?”

“I have not. I was hoping you, as my style guru, would guide me in the right direction.”

“Gladly. I already have about fifty ideas in mind.”

“I really only need one.”

“Is that what we’re shopping for this morning?”

“It is! And I’m going to need your help, since my figure will not be ready yet for anything too fitted by then.”

“Well, we’re going to have to play up your huge boobs, then.”

Megan laughed. “I’m thinking Luc will like that, but nothing too showy. We have to remember my son and our other relatives will be there. We don’t want to gross them out.”