Breaking Elle (36 page)

I snap my head back at Reed at the last comment. How would this person know anything about his knee?

“I told you, man! It’s not me. Now can you leave my girlfriend and me alone?” His voice rips across the room. The vein in his neck bulges, his knuckles grow white as he grips the edge of the table. Several people turn around to see what is going on. I’ve never seen him angry before, and it scares me. I’m not sure if I should hug him or run.

“Whatever man, I’m not crazy. I know my football,” he answers, turning to his friend. “Hey, Chance, isn’t that him?” he questions. His friend doesn’t respond, rather he grabs his friend’s arm and starts to pull him away from our table.

“Come on man, you’re drunk. Leave them alone.” He shoots us an apologetic look trying to restrain his drunk friend.

“Dude, it’s him!” It takes two guys to pull him away from our table and across the room, but you can still hear him arguing with his friends that it’s him. Whoever him is. Shaking his head, Reed grabs his beer, finishes it off, and slowly twirls the bottle under his fingers as the tension in his shoulders gradually disappears. “Some people shouldn’t drink.” He chuckles softly, cautiously eyeing me from under his lashes.

“Is that all it is? Landon Hunter? Who’s that?” I ask, looking him in the eyes. He laughs softly as he stares down at his hands. I slowly reach for his chin and raise his eyes to me. “Do you know something about that? Do you know someone named Landon Hunter?” He’s deathly quiet. “Reed?” For the first time, he appears powerless and weak sitting across from me unable to answer my questions.

“Doll...” His voice is barely a whisper.

“What the fuck?!” I gasp, feeling the weight of Reed’s silence. I drop my hand from his chin. “You are, aren’t you?” I whisper.

“Doll, wait.” I grab her arm seeing the fire in her eyes combined with the sadness I saw earlier. It makes me want to kick myself for doing this to her. “Let me explain.” I sound like a fucking asshole.

“You want to know what scares me now?” She whispers angrily, turning to face me. “This scares me.” She chokes, looking down at my hand grasping her wrist and back up at me. “Who are you? Landon? Reed?” She sighs, pulling her arm away from me. She gets lost in the crowd.
Fuck
. I curse to myself as I bolt from the table, trying to run after her, but my damn knee doesn’t want to cooperate. I endure the pain and limp across the bar, not wanting to lose sight of her as she walks outside.

What the fuck? This is the bullshit I get myself into. This isn’t how I wanted it to go down. It’s not how I wanted her to find out who I am. I should’ve known that there was going to be a random crazed fan from Texas that would recognize me from my college days at Texas A&M. My mug was plastered everywhere, big man on campus, going to and winning four National Championships, nominated MVP each season while I was there. What fucking guy doesn’t have twenty-four hour ESPN Sports Center? My whole damn football career was televised every damn day of the week. That was the price I had to pay, the crap I had to put up with to play.

That drunk forced my hand tonight. It’s all true, every single word that she heard. I just had my chance to tell her everything, and I didn’t do it. I’m risking so damn much by doing this, and I know it. That’s how I’ve always been. I like to gamble with every part of my life, even with my relationships. I don’t know how much more she can take if she reacted like this tonight.

I watch her from a distance for a couple of minutes, standing up against the side of the building, twisting her brown hair with her graceful fingers. When I finally walk up to her, I gently turn her face to me. There’s a tortured look in her eyes, and I’m the one who’s fucking responsible for it. I can’t stand to see her like this. I wish I could rewind, go back, and make things right.

“What?” She whispers looking up at me. “Why couldn’t you just tell me?” She inhales and looks away from me. I need to fix this
now
. I swallow hard trying to find my voice to speak, unsure of where to start. I didn’t want it to be like this.

“Baby, remember when you asked me why I left Texas?” I say, taking her cheeks in my hand. She stiffens, slowly dropping her eyes to her chest. “Look at me. Talk to me.” My heart just collapses in my chest.

“Yes, I remember. But you neglected to tell me other things apparently,” she says softly. “Like the fact that you played football, that you were drafted by the Dallas Cowboys.” She locks her eyes with mine. “I don’t understand why you wouldn’t share these things with me.”

“It’s still hard for me to talk about,” I whisper, jamming my hands through my hair. “I wasn’t drafted. I blew out my knee before that could happen.” I inhale, wanting to forget the fucking memory. “It was one of the last games of the season and Coach wanted to take me out, but I asked him to keep me in. I should have listened to him.” I swallow hard, feeling the knot in my throat choking the life out of me.

She takes my fist, unclenching my hand, and lacing her fingers with mine. “I’m sorry, baby,” she whispers. Look at her—so strong and forgiving, trusting me with her heart. I don’t deserve her.

“I thought that the further away I was from it, the easier it would be to move on and focus on getting better without all of the attention.”
But there’s more
. “I didn’t want to think about it, but I know that I’m going back.” She flicks her eyes back up at me and squeezes my hand. “I’m going to try out again. My knee will be good as new. I need this.”
But, I need you more
. “I have to play. I can’t see my life without football. I’m sorry for keeping this from you.”

“I can understand that need, that drive. I only wish you would’ve told me. I would never ask you to give up something you love.” The pain in her eyes tears at me. I let her down. I clutch her hand, hoping that somehow my touch will make some of the hurt go away.

I can’t respond.

“Your name,” she whispers. “What about your name?” She closes her eyes for a second, sighing deeply as if she’s bracing herself for the worst. There’s nothing I can do to ease her mind, but just tell her, come clean.

“Yeah, that.” My chest seizes at the sound of my old name. “Landon is my middle name and Hunter was my dad’s name before I took my mom’s maiden name. My momma sacrificed everything for my sister and me—
everything.
When my career started to take off in college, I legally changed it to honor her. If it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t be where I am.” Her hazel eyes soften, and my heart breaks a little seeing her this way, conflicted and torn all because of me. “We both have secrets that we don’t want to tell. I won’t lie to you, but I can’t tell you everything. Not now. And based on the look in your eyes, I know you’re keeping some painful secrets, too. I accept that. I won’t pressure you to talk about them until you’re ready.” I rest my hands against the building to protect her and to keep her close to me.

“There’s so much we don’t know about each other. I knew when I met you that you were different, dangerous, but I didn’t care. I knew I needed you.” A smile turns up at the corner of her mouth and I start to say something, but she raises her finger to my lips to finish. “It’s like jumping without a safety net, though. I know that no matter what happens, you’ll always be there to catch me.”

“I’ll always be here. You fall, I fall with you.” Her hazel eyes pierce through mine like an arrow. I take her chin in my hand and kiss her. She tastes like heaven. There it is again. That jolt that races through me. It happens every time I make contact with her. I’d take any opportunity to touch her. I’m crazy for her.

“Do you want to leave?” she murmurs, tilting her head so I can immerse myself in her perfection.

“Anything for you,” I whisper, hugging her to my chest. “So, what do you want to do after this?”

“Surprise me. You seem to be full of them tonight,” she says, lacing her hands around my neck. I press my lips to hers again knowing full well that if this is going to last, then we can’t go through something like this again.

The fans outside have thinned out and the lights from the stadium illuminate the streets as cars start to filter away from the stadium. She slips her soft hand into mine and leans into me as we walk back to my truck. She takes my breath away, looking like an angel in her white dress. Her hair is falling away from her shoulder exposing her perfect neck, her soft skin. My eyes are glued to her as she leans up against the truck waiting for me to unlock the door, giggling when I drop the key in the gravel parking lot.

“See what you do to me?” I reply, fumbling to find the key in the dirt. She laughs softly. “Oh, do you find it funny that you make me all flustered?” I rise and trap her against the truck. An unguarded smile covers her face as she reaches for my lips, my eyes soaking every flawless inch of her. She drapes her arms around my waist, pressing into me, tracing her fingers on my back as I feel her chest rise and fall against my body. She pulls away, gazing up at me, her breath tickling my cheek. My gut twists in a good way. This girl has me wrapped around her finger, and she doesn’t even know it.
Damn, I never want to lose this.

“Can we go to your place?” She asks. “I want to stay with you tonight.”

“I’d love that,” I reply, kissing her forehead. This is my dream come true. “Are you still upset about tonight?” I ask, rubbing the back of my neck.

“No, I couldn’t be upset about what happened tonight.” She lowers her eyes and waits for me to open the door for her. She gracefully slides in, leans into my kiss and smiles as I close the door. There’s that look again. That one that makes me want to destroy something. I can’t forgive myself for not telling her. So how can she forgive me so easily? I need to make it up to her, to show her what she means to me.

I can tell she doesn’t like riding in my Hummer by the way she grasps the handle on the door and reaches out for my arm when we hit a bump or stop suddenly at a red light. Damn, I love this girl.
Did I just think that?

“Hey, are you okay?” I chuckle, glancing over at her staring out the windshield.

“Fine.” She laughs, clutching my arm as she looks up at me. I love when she reaches for me, but I don’t want her to be doing it while she’s scared or maybe I do. I did say I love a damsel in distress.
Did I just say that damn word again?

“Hey, relax. I won’t let anything happen to you.” I grin, pulling up into the driveway. “See, we’re already here.” She sighs in relief. The tension in her shoulders and the crease in her forehead disappear instantly and she smiles.

“Thank God,” she whispers.