Breaking Fences (The Breaking Series) (40 page)

At least I could finish packing while he said whatever he wanted to say.

I grabbed an empty box from under my bed. “Go ahead. Explain.”

“You won’t even look at me while I’m talking to you?”

“If I can help it, no.”

He sighed. “Okay. Yes, I entered the bet, but please try to understand. I didn’t know you then. I thought you were exactly what Audrey said you were, and I was in desperate need of money. I confess I felt bad about it, but you’re beautiful and that made deciding to enter the bet that much easier. Right when you started going to the ranch, I was still invested in the bet. You must have noticed the insistent flirting. But once I started to get to know you, I realized you were so different from how Audrey portrayed you. I tried to get out of the bet, but they wouldn’t let me. I tried getting out several times, actually, because I was falling for you. I have never met a girl like you. You’re kind, generous, funny. You worked at a ranch and got your hands dirty just because you wanted to help, because you wanted to be around horses. You’re filthy rich, but don’t like to show it. You don’t use your status to your advantage. You know more about me than anyone alive. And you’re so beautiful that it hurts being here, standing in front of you, and not being able to touch you. I was falling, hard, and each time we kissed, it was harder because I knew I couldn’t get involved with you. I also knew I wanted to sleep with you, not because of the bet, but because I wanted you for you.”

My breath caught and tears brimmed in my eyes. Shoving my books and notebooks in the box, I swallowed hard.

He pushed away from the door. “That was why I didn’t want you to be seen with me. Because they would know, and you would find out about the bet.”

“Well, we were seen together, and I found out about the bet. How did they do that? Follow you and any other guy involved, filming whenever one got close to me? That was how they recorded us that night?”

“No. As far as I know, Audrey became suspicious of us after seeing us at the Bull Bar. She didn’t understand why I was pushing you away, since I was in on the bet. So, when I was around campus on Wednesday, she asked one of her sisters to follow me.”

I had one more question to which I needed an answer. “You said something about waiting until next semester. Why? Wouldn’t the bet still be in place?”

He shook his head. “The deadline is tonight, before everyone leaves for the winter holidays.” He took a step toward me. “Bia, tell me you forgive me.”

Ignoring the last part he said, I closed the box with tape. “I heard you. You explained everything.” I picked up the box in my arms and halted before him. “Now let me leave.”

His eyes shone with desperation. “No, you can’t go like that. Please, forgive me. I never meant to hurt you.”

“And yet you did.”

“If I could go back in time …”

“You didn’t know me then, and you needed the money. You still would have entered the bet.”

He sighed. “Please, forgive me.”

I inhaled, focusing on what I had to say. “Garrett, I’m leaving. For good. You’ll never see me again. Take the damn money, use it to finish your barn, and move on with your life, because I’m moving on with mine.”

I walked around him, but he stepped in my way. “Don’t go, Bia. I like you. Really, really like you.”

“If you really like me, you’ll respect me, and you’ll let me go.”

He leaned over me. “You’ll just go, pretending you don’t feel anything for me too?”

I held my head high. “I’m not pretending anything. I’m hurting on the inside, because I do like you, but I’m trying to be strong.” He reached for me, but I stepped back. “But liking you isn’t enough. Now, please, let me pass before I scream my head off.”

His eyes pleaded with mine, but I held on to my pride.

Finally, his shoulders sagged and he stepped aside. “I hope you forgive me someday.”

I glanced at him one last time. “Someday, I might. But I hope that by then, I’m happy with someone else.”

***

Seventeen hours was a long time to think. Add the hours I stopped by an inn, took a shower, had dinner, and then slept, the drive easily jumped to twenty-five hours.

As soon as I left Fort Howell, I pulled over so I could catch my breath. Aka, let some tears fall and recover from the shock. The hurt would take much longer to recover from though.

On my first coffee break, I sent a message to Tom.

Me:
I’m leaving town for good. When I get back in California, I’ll arrange for someone to pick up Midnight and bring him to me. Thanks for everything, Tom.

He answered almost immediately, but I hadn’t really checked his messages, afraid they would make me hurt or cry even more.

My first plan was to drive to Hannah’s ranch and ask for her guest bedroom until I found an apartment. However, as I put distance between Fort Howell and me, the old Bia returned to me, and the old Bia never ran from a fight.

So, I drove to my parents’ house instead.

I parked my car in the visitor’s parking lot and rushed up the front porch’s steps. I was about to knock on the door when my mother opened it, her eyes wide.

“Beatriz, you’re here,” she muttered.

“Hi,
mãe
.” I hugged her and she ushered me in. “Is
pai
here? I need to talk to him.”

She gestured to the door on our right. “He’s in his office.” I started for the door, but she held my hand. “Whatever you came to say, just, please, don’t upset him more. I hate seeing you two fighting.”

I kissed her cheek. “Don’t worry about it,
mãe
.”

I knocked on the half-open door, before sticking my head in. My father was on the phone, as usual, but his eyes bugged when he saw me, and he beckoned me in.

“Yes, March third. We’ll be there. No, thank you.” He hung up and turned to me, his face blank. “Beatriz. I wasn’t expecting you.”

“I know.”

He pointed to one of the chairs across his desk. “Sit down.”

“No, I’m good. This is going to be really quick, and then I gotta get going.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Okay.”

“I’m sorry if I disappointed you. It was never my intention. In fact, I wanted nothing more than the opposite. Being the youngest of three, or four, talented guys puts some pressure on me. I was never really talented in anything, and I didn’t know what to do to be a star in your eyes too.”

“Beatriz,” he started.

I raised my hand. “Let me finish. I tried staying with the guys once we moved here, I tried following them around, but I was bored. Truly bored. I needed to do something for me, even if it wasn’t as great as being a famous polo player. When I came home for Thanksgiving, I realized how selfish I was being. I mean, in some way, I blamed the guys’ success for putting me in the shadows, and that’s not fair. I love them and I’m so proud of their success. I shouldn’t feel like this. I miss them. I miss you and Mom. And that’s why I’m moving back.”

His eyes widened. “Are you serious?”

“I’m moving back to California. I applied to a few colleges nearby and I should hear from them next week. I can transfer some of what I did in Brazil, and what I took in Fort Howell. If I’m not accepted for the next semester, I’ll try again for next fall. However, I won’t be living here anymore. I’m going to find an apartment for me, but I want to feel free to visit, to come over for lunches and family reunions. I don’t want to feel like I’m entering a minefield.” I sighed. “I won’t ask you to understand or approve of my choices, because I know our visions are different. I just want you to respect me.”

He frowned. “Beatriz, you’re a strong girl and I respect you.”

I tilted my head. “You have a weird way of showing it.”

“I already said this, but you’re my little girl. I know, I know. You’re twenty-two, haven’t been little for a long time, but it’s hard for me. After three, or four, men, who have their own strong will, came a beautiful girl who is strong in her own way. If I could, I would keep you under my wings forever. I know I can’t lock you up, but please don’t ask me to be okay with releasing you into the wild alone.”

I nodded. “I won’t ask you to be okay, if you don’t hold me back.”

A soft smile adorned his worn face. “We can work on that. But I won’t make any promises.”

“I can live with that.”

“Good. I’m glad you’ll be closer to us from now on.”

I smiled. “Me too.”

Eight Weeks Later

Seated on the fence, I watched as Preta, Argus, and Minuano ran around the pasture. Soon, Midnight would be joining them. I had been two months, but finally Tom called me saying the vet had cleared Midnight to travel from Colorado to California.

I bit my nails—a habit I didn’t have—eager to see my new horse. He would be happy here. At least one of us would.

I sighed. I wasn’t unhappy, but I wasn’t at my best place yet.

Being at Hannah’s ranch with the horses brought the memories I was trying to forget in full force. I could feel Garrett’s hand on me, his half-grin, his hazel-colored eyes, the way he cared about the horses, what that goddamned barn meant to him. I couldn’t help but wonder how he was. If he had found a job and had finished the barn. If he had met someone. If he had already forgotten me.

A pang sliced through my heart.

One thing I didn’t expect after leaving Colorado was how much my body, my soul, yearned for Garrett. I thought the hurt of what he had done, or everything I had lived through, would take precedent over how much I liked him, how much I liked being with him, how good he made me feel. My heart knew what I was feeling, but I ignored it. I couldn’t think about love right now. It was too late.

No, I wouldn’t go down that path. Even if tomorrow was Valentine’s Day and everyone on campus, or even Hannah and Leo, were talking about their plans. My focus was on finishing pre-vet. I hadn’t done too great last semester, and I was intent on doing great from now on. I had been accepted to college here and was doing better. I also had found an apartment close to Ri’s, Pedro’s, and Gui’s, which meant I didn’t have to worry about a roommate who had crazy friends.

In fact, so far I had only one friend. Laura and I clicked on the first day of class, much like Phoebe and I had. She was funny and outgoing, just like the old me—which I was working on bringing back. I had told her a tiny portion of my experience in Fort Howell, and I might have mentioned Garrett to her—and to Hannah too.

Other than her, I kept my mouth shut and didn’t try making more friends. I wasn’t ready to trust too many people at once again. Besides Laura, I had my brothers, cousin, Hannah, and Hilary, and that was already enough. More than enough.

My cell phone dinged, bringing me back to the present.

I fished it out of my pocket and glanced at the screen.

“Let me guess,” Hannah said, approaching me from the stable. “Garrett again?”

“Ugh. His calls and texts have increased this past week.” I deleted the message without reading it.

She sat beside me. “Bia, don’t you think it’s time you talked to him? He clearly cares for you. Otherwise, why would he make the effort?”

“I don’t know,” I whispered.

“He’ll keep calling and texting until you answer him. Even if you plan on not forgiving him, then just answer and get this over with. Better to stop now than to give him hope.”

“I’m not giving him hope.”

“Until he stops calling, he still has hope.”

I sighed. She was probably right, but I was afraid. Afraid of hearing his voice and falling into his trap again, of melting into the desire to see him, to have him again. To let myself love him. I shook my head. “I can’t. Not yet.”

Hannah glanced behind us. “I think Midnight arrived.”

I followed her gaze and saw a truck and a horse trailer entering the ranch.

My heart squeezed. “
Meu Deus
.”

“What?”

I blinked once. Twice. Three times. But the truck—an old dark blue truck—continued the same. “It’s Garrett.”

Hannah stared at me with wide eyes. “Oh.”

I jumped off the fence. “You go over there. Receive Midnight for me. Make sure he’s all right. Pay Garrett for the trip, please. I’ll refund you later, and—”

Hannah climbed down the fence and put her hand on my arm. “I love you like a sister, but no. I won’t do it. In fact, I’m going to retreat into my house right now and let you deal with it.”

“But—”

“Listen, Bia. You can solve this right now. Tell him to go away and leave you alone forever. Or you can listen to him. Think about it. He came all the way from Colorado just to bring you your horse? I doubt it.” She patted my hand then dashed away.

“Hannah,” I called, but she just waved her hand and headed to her house.

Taking a deep breath, I walked through the stables and out the front just as Garrett exited his truck. My heart skipped a beat at his sight.
Meu Deus
. I wasn’t prepared for this. I wasn’t prepared to see him again. The nice jeans hugged his legs, and a plaid red and blue shirt looked good on him. Too good.