Breaking the Ice (8 page)

“She tried to trap me into
marrying her, said I got her pregnant.  Turned out, she’d gotten pregnant from
her step-brother and didn’t want anyone to know.”

“Not surprising.  Both of them
were gross.”

“My mom never told me how she
found that out.  All I knew was that she confronted Stacy and threatened to
demand a DNA test.  The entire situation evaporated overnight.”

“Mmm.  That’s great.”

“Did you tell my mom, Kenzie?”

Her eyes met his and she sighed. 
“Our properties bordered each other.  I saw Stacy and Skeeter fooling around in
their back pasture.  When she turned up pregnant, I thought he was probably the
daddy.  I mentioned it to your mom at the store one day.  That’s all.”

Why hadn’t he asked his mom more
questions?  Because he was the golden boy and he assumed everything would
always work out for him.  When it did, time and again, he didn’t question it
because he considered it his due. 

Everything Kenzie said at the
diner the night before came back to him.  She
had
been a conquest, a
one-night-stand, and like all the others, he hadn’t called her back.  Even
though he
knew
that for the first – and the last – time, he’d taken a
woman without protection.  A virgin.  He believed the birth control story
because he
wanted
to believe it. 

Meanwhile,
so much
had
happened. 

He didn’t deserve another chance
with this woman.  He certainly hadn’t earned it.  It didn’t change the fact
that he wanted it, he wanted
her
. 

“MacKenzie, are you in love with
me?” 

After a slight hesitation, Kenzie
shook her head. 

Diesel stroked her hair, cupped
her head with his huge hand, and kissed her.  She opened for him like a flower
seeking the sun, instantly and without reservation.  Her hands moved over his
shoulders, stroking and kneading. 

Kissing her had always blown his
mind. 

“MacKenzie, are you
in love
with me?”  There was a longer pause before she shook her head again. 

He tilted her back over his arm
and kissed her jaw, down her neck, over the tops of her breasts.  Her hands
went into his hair.  Diesel stroked her side from her breasts to her hip.  When
she was whimpering, breathless, and squirming in his arms, he lifted his head
and stared into her dark eyes.

He repeated gently, “MacKenzie,
are you in love with me?”

“I…didn’t mean to be, Diesel. 
I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?”

She sighed. “I said it was all
physical that night because I wanted one good memory so badly.  Then I found
out I was pregnant and I was scared but I wanted the baby,
your
baby, as
a little reminder of you, of our night together.  I don’t regret it because
Dalton is everything to me, I love him more than I love myself.  None of the
rest matters.”

“You expect so little, Kenzie.”

“I’m satisfied with what I
have
,
Diesel.  I’ll never impose on your life.”  She stroked his face.  He hadn’t
shaved in more than twenty-four hours and the stubble was substantial.  “You
look good with a little bit of beard.”  

She stood and went to check on
Dalton then went into her room to get dressed.

Diesel sat where Kenzie left him,
his mind in turmoil.  The guilt was the first thing he had to deal with.  No
matter how things ended up between them, he needed to protect his son. 

That was the easiest part.

He took out his cell phone and called
his lawyer.  He told him about the immediate changes he wanted and didn’t give
the man a chance to question his decisions.  He made it clear that he was to
have whatever paperwork he needed to sign ready and he’d be in to take care of
it. 

When the shower stopped a few
minutes later, he went to talk to MacKenzie. 

The bedroom door was partially
cracked – probably so she could listen for Dalton – and he pushed it open.  His
heart practically stopped at the sight of her. 

Framed in the sunlight-filled
window, wearing nothing but a black bra and panties, she made quite the
picture.  Her hair was loose and flowing down her back, dark and silky.  She
had her jeans in her hand and turned when the door opened. 

Where her stomach had once been
board flat, it now had a gentle roundness.  Knowing it was a result of his baby
growing inside her made him instantly hard.  He walked to her, his mind blank
of all the things he’d been about to say, and dropped to his knees.  He smoothed
his fingertips over her tummy and kissed it. 

“I was enormous.  Dalton was a
nine-pound baby,” she told him softly.  He traced the tiny lines low on her
stomach, where her body had stretched to accommodate their son.  “Those will
never go away.  I don’t mind, a few more marks don’t seem to matter.” 

Diesel stroked up her torso and
cupped her breasts, asking questions without saying a word. 

“I breast-fed at first but I
couldn’t keep up…he needed so much, even then.  I had to stop before he was
four weeks old.”  He wrapped his arms around her and laid his cheek against
Kenzie’s abdomen.  Her hands went into his hair. 

He held her like that for a long
time, her skin was soft and warm.  “Do you have photos of you and Dalton over
the years, MacKenzie?”

“I have thousands.  I knew one
day I’d have a chance to show them to you.”

“Why did you come in here,
Kenzie?”

“I needed a few minutes to kind
of pull myself together, Diesel.  I’m not used to being so close to anyone but
my…our son.  You’re so…affectionate.  Dalton is like that, too.”

He lifted his face and looked up
at her with a small frown.  “Surely you’ve dated.”  She shook her head.  “It’s
been four
years
, MacKenzie.”

Her hand smoothed through his
hair and down his face.  “I was pregnant.  Then I was busier than ever before.” 
She gave him a smile.  “I told you you’d be the last for a long time, Diesel.”

Diesel stood up and cupped her face
in his huge hands.  “Kenzie…no one else?”

“I was a virgin until I was
twenty-one.”  She shrugged one bare shoulder delicately.  “I’m picky.”  He
couldn’t hide his shock.  “You look so surprised.  I’m not sure if I’m offended
or embarrassed.”

“Are you telling me I’m the only
person you’ve been with, Kenzie?”

“Yes, Diesel. 
Yes
, that’s
what I’m telling you.  I realize you’re used to fucking groupies who spread
their legs for anyone with money in the bank but I’m not that way.  I will
never
be
that way.”  She turned and grabbed her sweater off the bed and went in
the bathroom. 

He sat down in the chair by the
window.

“Mommy owes de jar a buck,” Dalton
said from the doorway, startling the crap out of Diesel.  “Why you in here when
Mommy changin’?  Only I’m ‘lowed to see her wit’out all her clothes and I’m gettin’
too old.  Why you in here?”

Heavy questions and no answer
came to mind. 

“Well, Dalton, I think we’ll let
Mommy answer that, okay?  Did you have a nice nap?”  His son nodded and stared
at him with unbelievable focus.  “Is something wrong?”

“Jus’ tinkin’ you and me look de
same.”  Diesel’s heart started to pound.  “I’m smaller but I’ll get real big.  Mommy
says so.”  Dalton came closer and stood in front of him.  He reached out and
touched his hair, then touched his own with the other hand. 

“Mommy says I look jus’ like my
daddy.”  The little boy pinched his cheeks then picked up his hand and put it
in his father’s much larger one.  “You bigger.  But I tink we still look de
same.  Do you tink so too?” 

Diesel nodded numbly and for more
than a minute, Dalton stared at him without saying a word.  Finally, he put his
hands on his hips and asked bluntly, “Are you my daddy?”

For just a moment, Diesel was
dizzy.  He wasn’t sure what Kenzie would want him to say or do in this
situation but he knew one thing without a doubt:  he wasn’t about to lie to his
son.

“I am, Dalton.”  The miniature
version of himself stood still for a long time, absorbing this new information. 
He could practically see the connections happening in his bright blue eyes.

He may look like me, but he
considers things just like his mama. 

Then Dalton took two steps
forward and slowly wrapped his arms around his neck.  Before that moment, the
first hug from his son, Diesel had never felt as if he would burst into tears. 
His arms crushed the little boy to him, sitting back and lifting him into his
lap. 

At his ear, Dalton said, “I tink
you will be a good daddy and my bestest friend like Mommy says.”  There was a
pause.  “Maybe you can take me to hockey sometimes so Mommy can sleep?”

He nodded to buy time, to swallow
the unfamiliar lump in his throat.  “I would
love
to take you to
hockey.  Your mom is going to have things a lot easier now, I promise.  We’re
going to take care of her together.” 

Dalton nodded and curled up in
Diesel’s arms.  “I won’t be any trouble.”  

“You aren’t even a little bit of
trouble.  You’re like a Christmas present I really, really wanted but didn’t
get to open until the summer.”  He got a huge smile in response and they sat
that way for a long moment, just looking at each other.

“Can I call you Daddy?”  Dalton’s
voice was barely a whisper.

“I would like that very much, Dalton. 
So much.” He hugged him, inhaling the scent of little boy, baby powder shampoo,
and…crayons?  The tears he was fighting were getting harder to hold back.

“Will you carry me sometimes?” 
He nodded.  “I’m too big for Mommy.  I hurt her where her scar is.  Uncle Thad
had to carry her upstairs.  I was cryin’ and cryin’ and Mommy wasn’t mad at
all.”  Dalton held his face firmly.  “She is a
very good
Mommy.”

“I know she is.”  Diesel ached at
the mental picture of Kenzie in pain.

Dalton sat up and stared fully
into Diesel’s face.  “You better be
nice
to my Mommy.  ’Kay, we should
go play.  Mommy uses de bat’room to cry when she’s sad or tired or not feelin’
good.  She don’ like me to know so I don’ tell her I do.” 

Diesel’s eyes went to the
bathroom door. 

Dalton jumped off his lap and
pulled him out of the room by his hand.  They sat on the floor and played with
Legos, colored, then sat reading until Diesel fell asleep against the beanbag
chair with Dalton crashed diagonally across his body. 

MacKenzie made sure she was
completely back together before she emerged from the bathroom.  The apartment was
so quiet and she went looking for Diesel.  She found him, asleep with their
son, in Dalton’s room and took about thirty pictures. 

She knew Diesel hadn’t slept all
night so she left them in peace and went to prepare meals for the next couple
of days.  Her mind raced over what had happened and what could happen.

Several hours later, Thad came
home from school and gave her a hug.  “It’s all fine, Kenzie.  Take one thing
at a time.  Everything smells delicious.”

He went to change and checked on
his nephew.  When he saw Diesel and Dalton sleeping soundly, he took several
pics with his phone and texted them to their sisters. 

As she took a large tray of baked
macaroni and cheese from the oven almost an hour later, Kenzie heard what had
to be Diesel’s cell phone.  It sounded like he was getting dozens of text
messages. 

Diesel startled awake but managed
to catch Dalton before he rolled to the floor.  He laid him on his bed and covered
him up, leaning down to give him a careful kiss on the forehead. 

Leaving the room, he checked the
text messages that had woken him up.

“Who’s the kid?  Looks just like
you…?” from Digger.

“Bro, is that your KID?” from
Damien.

“Why didn’t you tell me I had a
nephew?” from Dean.

“Heck yeah, finally someone
younger than us!” from Justin for him and his twin.

“Diesel, call your mother THIS
minute!!!!!” from Mom.

The voicemails were similar. 
Good looking kid, is he yours, where’s he been, what the hell is going on, and
all ended with
you’d better call me, Diesel
. 

He walked down the hall and heard
MacKenzie on the phone in the kitchen.  “Jackie!  You forwarded photos to
Dean?  Oh my god, no you didn’t!  Oh no, Jackie.  What were you
thinking
? 
Honey, we have no right to involve Diesel’s family. 
What?
  I…I’m going
to pass out.” 

Diesel could hear her pacing
frantically. 

“I can’t
believe
you guys
did that.  I don’t know what to do now.  Do
not
preach at me, Jackie.  My
situation is just different.  I need to control the fallout.  No, I’m not mad. 
Miss you, love you.”

Kenzie turned to set her phone on
the table.  She was wearing an apron and holding a rolling pin.  The yelp she
emitted when she saw him standing there was priceless. 

“Diesel!  I thought you were still
sleeping.”  She backed up as he came toward her across the kitchen.  “You must
have gotten calls from your family.  I can explain, Thad sent the girls pics of
you and Dalton.  They sent it to your brothers…I’m sorry, I really am.  Just
give me a minute to think, I’ll figure something out.”

He backed Kenzie against the refrigerator,
his hands on either side of her.  “Stop talking.” 

Then Diesel kissed her until her body
went limp in front of him.  He rocked against her, let her feel how hard he was
for her, and she moaned into his mouth.  His hands settled on her hips, holding
her in place.  He wanted to make her come like this.

Life had other plans.

“Whoa!  Damn!” Thad said and
turned his back.  “It’s the
kitchen
.”

Diesel leaned in and murmured
against her ear, “We
will
finish this later, MacKenzie.  There is no
more running from me.”  Then he stepped back and watched as she walked over to
the dough she’d been making in a daze.  “It’s safe, Thad.”