Breaking the Wrong (44 page)
My entire family looks
at me, saying nothing. I stare at the back of Macsen’s head, and when he turns around, we lock eyes. He looks determined, like he won’t leave until I hear him out. He looks me up and down. The bill of his hat is in between his hands, being squeezed tightly together. There is warmth in his gaze that makes goosebumps jump across my skin.
I cross my arms over my stomach, trying to look un
affected. “Let’s talk out there.” I nudge my head toward the foyer.
Macsen nods and stands up from his chair
. He follows quietly behind me. My lips mash together and I quickly walk toward the door. If I want to keep any of my pride, I need to make this conversation short because I’m about two seconds away from nodding my head and agreeing to everything he has to say.
Abruptly, I turn around and face
Macsen. His gaze is piercing as he leans against the wall.
“Why did you go?” Macsen asks hoarsely.
I hug my arms tightly around my stomach. My fingers dig into my skin as I look at him. I want to step forward so bad. But I’m holding myself back. There’s so much we need to talk about.
Tilting m
y chin up, I stare him solemnly. “When you came over to my dorm…” I veer off and look over Macsen’s shoulder and see Aniston and Eden blatantly trying to listen. My sister looks fascinated and my brother just stares at us. I look away from them, but make sure to lower my voice. “You left the next morning, without saying anything.”
His eyes close for a second and when they open
, I swear I see regret. “I’m sorry about that,” he says sincerely.
I nod my head and thoughtfully look down at the material of my sweater. “But maybe you leaving was for the best.”
“How?” Macsen demands.
“I would have stayed there, just to be next to you,” I admit slowly. “I had to leave.”
Macsen stands straight, his body rigid. “You didn’t have to leave!”
“Yes, I did!” I shoot back.
“If I could take it back I would!”
“But it’s not just about that, Macsen!” I say loudly. “Before the truth came out, I loved how we were. I loved the ease that just came with being around you. That guy, that Macsen, I love him.” I take a deep breath and keep talking because this is my one shot to tell him how I feel. “Everything fell apart when you found out the truth. I’m sorry for my list, for what I did to you. I can take your anger. But I can’t take you ignoring me, or using me for one night. That’s what hurts so damn much. I know what we
had, and I want that back. I want that Macsen back.”
“You have him!”
“No, I don’t!” I cry out. He veers back, looking shocked over my outburst. “I really don’t. Remember our tutoring sessions?”
He nods his head slowly.
“I loved them. I’ve never looked forward to a tutoring session more in my life. Our talks were amazing. I could tell you everything and now that’s gone.”
“That’s still there,” Macsen persists.
I shake my head back and forth, completely denying his words.
Macsen laughs harshly, and it sounds frantic. “I will fucking beg if I have to, Emilia. Just tell me what do,” he says roughly. He catches my wrist and holds it against his chest. I can feel his heart beating wildly.
My fingers slightly dig into the material of his shirt. “I want you to tell me the truth!”
He pulls
me closer. “The whole truth is that you scare the shit out of me. After you left my party, I got drunk trying to forget you, but I still ended up at your fucking door. Why do I keep coming back to you?” Macsen’s gaze is unwavering as he towers over me. I keep my shoulders squared and try to keep my composure, reminding myself that I need to answer him.
“I-”
Macsen interrupts me quickly. “The truth is that I keep coming back to you because I love you. And that sometimes feels impossible, that I can love someone with my fucked up past. I’ve always been afraid of love, but with you, it doesn’t matter. I need you.”
All I can do is stare at him as a shaky breath escapes my mouth. His words tug on my heart and make me want to forget everything that’s happened. But I can’t.
Macsen’s shoulders sag slightly and his body leans in closer. Nervously, he licks his lips and stare at me intently. “Is that enough truth for you?”
“More.”
“More?” he asks confused.
“I want more truth,” I tell him firmly.
And I do. I want every truth he can
give me. When he found out about Elizabeth, I willingly told him things that no one ever knew about my sister. Things that made my throat burn to say. I’m staring at a guy who keeps everything to himself, and I know I’m asking a lot of him, but I just need more.
“I want to know where you went after you left my dorm room. Or
why
you even left?”
Macsen looks directly in my eyes. “I was so wrapped up in you even after everything that happened and I left because that scared the shit out of me. I went
to my apartment to figure everything out. And I talked to my dad.” My eyebrows practically reach my hairline. “My conversation with him made me realize so much. I get everything you did for Elizabeth. You loved her enough to fight for her, and I know I’d do anything to keep you.” My eyes close and he keeps talking with a voice that slowly starts to shake with each word. “I pounded on your door yesterday, wanting to tell you all of this. I knew you were avoiding me all last week, but I didn’t think you’d leave. When Severine told me you had left to go home, it was a punch to my fucking gut. It scared me enough to drive all the way here in the middle of the night to tell you that you get me in a way no one else ever will. I love that you challenge me. That I don’t have to be anyone else around you.” He gives me a nervous smile. His grip on my wrist tightens as he says his last words. “I’ll never be able to replace you. I know that.”
Everything he said makes the
wall that I’ve been building in myself automatically start to crumble. In a second, it all changes for me and makes me want to try.
I have a choice right now. I can step back from him and tell him it’s too late or that there’s too much between us for us to ever have a normal relationship. Or for once, I can focus all my energy on love rather than hate.
“When you left that morning I was terrified because I felt like if y
ou could walk away from me then, you could walk away from me at any time. I can’t have that. I won’t,” my breath catches, “I love you too much. Even in spite of everything I thought you did, I still fell for you. The thought of you leaving me again kills me.”
Macsen rubs the back of his nec
k and gives me a slow and gentle smile. “I haven’t shaved, I haven’t changed my clothes. All that mattered to me was getting to you, being with you, holding you. That’s all that matters.” Macsen cups my cheek and looks me straight in the eyes. “I love you,” he says slowly and methodically.
He opens his mouth to say more and I silence him by tugging him closer and sealing my lips over his because I’ve heard all I need to hear. It’s enough for me. I realize that he loves me just as much as I love him. And that’s all I really want.
Macsen’s caught off guard for a few seconds and then he’s kissing me and I know he loves me, misses me, needs me.
I feel everything in that kiss and it makes me pull away and whisper against his lips, “I believe you.”
“You’re sure?” Macsen asks hopefully.
Confidently, I nod my head. “
Even if you left me, I couldn’t forget about you.”
My arms travel up his chest and band around his neck. I ignore the fact that we probably have an audience and just relax in his arms.
Aniston clears his throat behind me and I finally pull away. My body still bows into Macsen’s and I can feel just how much he wants to continue this. Reluctantly, I pull away and take a step back.
My parents stand behind Eden and Anist
on with curious expressions. I know that this is my time to break every single wrong that has been placed on Macsen’s shoulders. This is my time to show that the past no longer holds me in its grip. It doesn’t matter. All that really matters is that I am by Macsen’s side.
I hold my hand out and Macsen
’s large hand swallows mine whole. I give him a tight squeeze and pull him toward the family room. I don’t make him face my family alone.
This time, I sit next to him—a simple gesture
stronger than any words. It shows how far the two of us have come. Last year, I had nothing but hate driving me. Macsen had his past hanging above his head, always reminding him of his mistakes.
But
now we have each other, and I know that we can never shatter.
Unbreakable.
There are so many people to think when it comes to this book. And I hope I mention everyone!
Thank you to my fabulous beta readers: Lisa Rutledge, Angela McLaurin, Lindsay Sparkes, Nina Gomez, Janna Mashburn, Stephenie Thomas, Erin Roth, Sheena Maschoff, Jessica Read, Rebecca Espinoza. You guys are awesome!
Tosha Khoury- For always taking the time to read through scenes, giving me great suggestions, and completely believing in my characters. You are apart of this book! Our Skype sessions where you help me brainstorm have created some of the best lines in this book.
Natasha Tomic- The greatest thing was reading your review of my first book. It was one that opened my eyes and pushed me forward, to keep improving. You have such a sharp eye that I can’t imagine releasing another book without having you read it first!!
Regina Wamba from Mae I Design and Photography- It was so great to work with you and to see what your brilliant mind created! Looking at Breaking the Wrong for the first time had me shaking!
A humungous thank you to my editor, Lori Sabin. You push past my all my grammar errors. You see a story, and make it spotless. You are always willing to give me support and advice. I love how you get my words.
My CP, Melissa Brown, you had such a hand in this book. Everyday you gave me encouragement and support with this story. Everyday you pushed me to go further with this story when I wanted to give up. I love our long talks and how you know EXACTLY what my characters would say! So grateful for you!
All the ladies in The Sloan Brothers Group. A group. A group that kinda, sorta likes my characters. I kinda, sorta love you guys for all the support and enthusiasm you have!
Taryn Cellucci- My Maybeline. Thank you for organizing my blog tour! So grateful for you!!
My BWB ladies. Nothing else. That is all.
Thank you to all the bloggers: Three chicks and their books, Natasha is a Book Junkie, Autumn Review, Shh Mom’s Reading, The Indie Bookshelf, The Book Hookers, A Love Affair with Books, Cristina’s Book Reviews, WhirlwindBooks, Talk Supe, Flirty and Dirty, Rock Stars of Romance, Sugar and Spice Book Reviews, Angie’s Dreamy Reads, I Love Indie Books, First Class Books, The Little Black Book Blog, Reality Bites! Let’s get lost!, Reviews by Tammy and Kim, WORD. Beauty, Brains and Books, Ashley’s Book Nook, Book Passion for Life, Book Crush, Tattooed Book Reviews, Storm Goddess Book Reviews and More, My Secret Romance. There are so many more that I know I’m missing. But I’m grateful for every single blog and the constant support you guys give authors!! So grateful!!!
Of course, to the READERS! Your enthusiasm over these Sloan Brothers makes me smile, brings tears to my eyes and has me shouting to my husband: “Look! Someone likes my book!” I can never thank you enough for reading my books.
To my husband, Joshua, thank you for always being supportive. You watch the kids, let me hole myself away and write this story without blinking an eye. Your support keeps me going!
College seemed like too much stress for me. Traveling across the world, getting married, and having three kids seemed much more relaxing.
Yeah, I’m still waiting for the relaxing part to kick in...
I change addresses every other year. It’s not by choice but it is my reality.
While the crazies of life kept me busy, the stories in my head decided to bubble to the surface. They were dying to be told and and I was dying to tell them.
I hope you’ll enjoy escaping to the crazy world of these characters with me!
For more information on Calia Read visit her blog:
www.Caliareadsandwrites.blogspot.de
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Copyright © 2013 Calia Read
