Breaking Through (Atlanta #3) (5 page)

Even with her mind thinking through careers and finances, the hours still dragged. At 3:36, Jenna did little else besides stare at the front door, hoping for a glimpse of a tattooed, thick-muscled arm supporting a two-year-old with green eyes and propensity for highlighter-artwork. Only two minutes later, her hope was fulfilled. Luke entered the clinic with Sophie resting lightly on one arm, all smiles and curls.

Jenna's face lit up involuntarily the minute those two walked in. Luke's face warmed into a smile for her, too, causing her heart to skip about three beats.

"Hey," he said as he walked over to her desk to sign Sophie in.
 

"Hi," she returned. "Hi, Sophie!"

"Hi Nenna," she smiled brightly. The little girl didn't seem sick at all.
 

"Remember, Sophie," Luke whispered loudly with a conspiratorial smile. "Her name is
J
enna.
J
a-
J
a-
J
enna."

"Hi Ja-Ja-Jenna!" Sophie beamed.

Jenna laughed so easily at the exchange between adoring father and lovable daughter.
 

"Good to see you, sweetie," she smiled as she lifted a reaching Sophie into her arms. "Are you going to help me again?"

Sophie nodded and reached for the highlighters. Jenna handed her a blank page again and held up a new marker. "I have purple, now," Jenna showed her with a smile. Sophie grinned and went to work on her scribbles.

"I never get tired of two-year-old artistic skill," she said to Luke as she smiled and spent time in his eyes. "Do you have the insurance card this time?"

"Uh," Luke said, looking uncomfortable. "No, this one is going to be cash. Her mom thinks I'm overreacting and didn't want another co-pay to deal with."

"Overreacting? Is Sophie ok?"

"Just a rash," he said noncommittally. "It's probably nothing."

"Ok, the nurse will call you back shortly," Jenna said with Luke-induced butterflies dancing the rhumba in her belly. "You can pay when you check out after the appointment."

"Thanks," he smiled with intense eyes. "I'd go sit down but it looks like Sophie's not done yet."

"Good art takes time," Jenna laughed. "It's beautiful, Sophie."

"Good art," she mimicked. Then she looked up at Jenna with a smile. "Daddy new car."

"You little snitch," Luke laughed.
 

"You got a new car?" Jenna was glad Sophie offered them a new topic of conversation. She wanted nothing more than to feel his stare on her skin and hear his deep, kind voice for a little longer.
 

"Yeah. I got a new job, so I bought a little old used car. Now I don't have to borrow her mom's to take her out."

"Good thinking," Jenna said with understanding. "Congrats on the new job. What do you do?"

"Well, as of last week I'm a butcher's apprentice. That was never a career goal, but I like the work. It's my first real job since I got discharged from the Army."

Jenna thanked the heavens Sophie wasn't done with her picture. Jenna repeatedly handed her different markers and pens to keep her drawing while she talked with Luke for as long as she could.
 

Luke was kind of amazed at how easily he could talk to Jenna. She was so genuine and so warm. He'd never said much about himself to anyone, but he found talking to her so simple. He even told her a small bit about his six years in the Army.
 

He had to force himself not to glare at the nurse who called him and Sophie back to see the doctor for the imaginary rash. He hated walking away from Jenna. He laughed at the thought of what the doctor would say when he showed her the rash. The "rash" was one little dot on her leg, probably a mosquito bite, but at least that little dot provided him an excuse for an office visit.
 

He even called ahead of time to find out when Jenna's shift would be. He pretended to need the information under the guise of bringing her a thank-you gift for helping with an insurance problem. The lady he spoke with shouldn't have given out Jenna's schedule so freely, but he was glad she did. Still, he would eventually tell someone at the office to be more careful.
 

A predictably embarrassing talk with the doctor later, Luke was back out to the front desk checking out with another office assistant, shelling out far too much cash for something as silly as the chance to talk to Jenna. If he had any guts at all, he'd have saved the money. He should have had the balls to walk in and talk to her without an excuse, but he couldn't. Jenna probably sensed the darkness in him and was only polite. What if she only talked with him because Sophie stayed on her lap for so long? He'd look like a fool.
Fuck
. He wasn't used to being so unsure of himself.

As much as he wanted to talk with Jenna even longer, he couldn't help but wonder if someone so kind and pretty would be interested in a dark fuck-up like himself. Truthfully, he should keep away from her to save her the inevitable shit he'd bring to any time they spent together. But he couldn't stay away. Her warm presence had a peaceful effect on him. He wanted more. He wanted Jenna in every way.
 

After he checked out, he stopped by her station to talk to her one last time before he left. He waited patiently while she helped another family through the paperwork. When she looked up at him after, she smiled her beautiful smile at him again.
 

"How was the rash, Sophie? You ok?"

"All better," Sophie said with a smile.
 

"Yeah," he shrugged with a little embarrassment. "Turns out I
was
overreacting."

Jenna giggled adorably. "Most daddies do. I think it's sweet."

Luke grinned again at the beauty in front of him.
Ask her out
, he told himself.
Leave her alone
, his internal voice scolded. Conflicted, he stood there a moment longer, trying to figure out what to do. Finally, he gave up. He was either a total chicken or he was noble for keeping his issues away from her. Either way, he said goodbye. He thought he saw disappointment on her face when he left, but he probably imagined it.
Fuck
. And he still didn't know her last name or phone number. He'd probably need another fake appointment if he wanted to talk to her again.
 

At least Sophie wouldn't care if he dragged her back. She liked Jenna and even asked about her a few days earlier.
"See Nenna daddy?"
Yeah, his girl was a smart one.

Thinking about the picture of Sophie sitting so happily with Jenna again, he drove her back to their favorite park for some quality time at the swing set. Nearly an hour later he tore himself away from Sophie and back for a late workout at the gym. Thanks to his new car, he didn't have to deal with another awkward interaction with CB's parents over his loud motorcycle in their lovely neighborhood.
 

Luke also loved his new financial situation. From crashing at his friends' places, he hadn't paid rent in months. He hadn't spent much money at all since he got back from Afghanistan. He needed next to nothing and earned quite a bit working on cars. Maintenance on his bike didn't cost him any more than parts because he did the work himself. The same would go for his car.
 

With all that going for him, his bank account was growing, giving him a sense of pride. Most of his friends spent money on alcohol and cigarettes, but Luke gave those up a long time ago. He saw too many Army buddies lose their shirts to those vices. He refused.

Now that he had steady income from his job with George and almost nothing to pay in rent, Luke was able to buy his car with cash, and budget quite a bit more money into savings. Marcus helped him learn to work through his finances and even suggested starting some investments. Apparently, this entire situation was familiar to Marcus. Nearly seven years earlier, he was on Luke's side of things and Bill played the role of trainer and life-coach. Luke thanked his lucky stars again that Marcus rescued him from a run-in with the police. He wasn't sure where he'd be without the intervention.

Thinking through his upward spiral, Luke felt pretty good. Briefly. Only moments later a glance at his tattoo reminded him of the ugly shit deep down and the frequent nightmares that went with it.
Fuck
. He wished all his problems would go away and take his nightmares with them. Suddenly, his job, finances, apartment, and new car seemed pretty trivial. Luke remained a hateful, dark bastard inside. He kept the ugly side of himself locked up tight, trying desperately to keep that nastiness from affecting those around him. The strain of his effort weighed heavily sometimes.

Marcus was about the only one to see through the barely-maintained façade, but even he didn't know specifics. Luke didn't want Marcus drawn in to the darkness, either. Hell, the darkness invaded straight into his soul. Luke knew his inner shit-storm would taint anyone around him, so he did the only thing he could do. He hid it and beat up gym equipment to ease the stress.

There's no way he could ever let Sophie see that dark part of him. Surprisingly, keeping calm for her wasn't difficult. Her beautiful face shone with such faultless innocence which kept him in her light with minimal effort. Luke was
peaceful
around his daughter…and around Jenna, too.
 

A hint of a smile sneaked its way to his face at the thought of her beautiful, sexy name. Somehow, his thoughts always rolled around to Jenna these days. She was another peaceful influence on him, even in the few small moments he'd spent with her. Her presence shone in pure brightness like Sophie's did. All he wanted was more.

Almost another week later, Luke still thought of little else besides his burgeoning stability and what it could offer Sophie…and Jenna? He couldn't stop thinking about her.
 

Damn it, he might fake a need for the pediatrician again. He promised himself this would be the last time. Either he'd have the guts to ask Jenna out, or he'd have to accept the fact that he was too chicken. Either way, this was the last wimpy attempt at a connection with her.

He wormed his way into finding out Jenna's schedule for Wednesday, got Sophie from her nasty mother, and worked on a believable story worthy of a doctor's visit. How pathetic. Rolling his eyes, he dropped the charade and forced himself to man-up.
 

He showed up at the clinic Wednesday with a perfectly healthy daughter and no appointment. His big plan was to let Sophie be his ice breaker. He was losing his mind wanting to see Jenna's warm, brown eyes and heart-melting smile again. Sophie seemed just as hopeful for more time with her favorite medical assistant.

"Jenna today?" Sophie asked with a smile when Luke picked her up.

"Yes," he grinned back.

"Like Jenna."

"Me too," he finally admitted, if only to a wise two-year-old.

"Like muggets too," Sophie hinted with a sly grin. Smart kid.

"Maybe after we see Jenna," he smiled.
 

Sophie nodded and let herself get buckled into her seat in the back of Luke's new-to-him, shabby sedan.
 

"Like your car, dada," Sophie said. "Green is pitty."

"Oh, good. I like it too, because I get to drive you around in it. Now, how about we…three, two, one, go!"

"Free two one go!"

Luke drove them to the clinic while Sophie prattled on about Minnie Mouse and her big hair bow. They pulled into the parking lot at the clinic and Sophie squealed, "Jenna's house!" He chuckled at her innocent, simple take on life. What a gift.
 

Sophie refused to be carried this time, so he leaned himself down sideways far enough to hold her hand as they walked in the door. His beautiful daughter ran right over to Jenna and crawled up on her lap before Jenna even realized what was going on.
 

Jenna's face broke into a genuine smile and she let out a soft giggle at Sophie's sudden place on her lap.
 

"Hey, Sophie! Here to draw me more pictures?"

Sophie nodded and reached for the printer paper herself. Jenna looked up at Luke's broadly-smiling self with mild surprise on her face. "Another rash?"

"No, not this time," he said, trying to smile without coming off as nervous. "This time is a quick visit. Sophie missed you."

Jenna looked shy and excited at the same time. "You did?" she asked as she turned to his little girl. "Well that's ok with me because I missed you, too. Since you're not going to see the doctor, can I have this picture to keep for me?"

Sophie smiled and nodded while she reached for the purple highlighter again. "Jenna's picture. I make it pitty"

"Thank you," she replied warmly. She glanced up at Luke again with her deep eyes and shy smile.
 

"Hey, I was thinking," he started awkwardly, hoping he had a playful tone in his voice. "I have a pretty smart daughter over here, and she seems to like being around you. I think I should follow her lead on this one."
 

Jenna gazed at him with wide eyes of melted chocolate. She smiled so warmly through the hint of surprise on her face. Her shyness made her even sweeter as she tried to figure out what to say. But she didn't need to say anything until he asked his question. God, he hoped she would say yes.

"Do you want to have dinner with me? Maybe Friday?"

Sophie joined their conversation. "Go eat muggets. Those are yummy."

Both Luke and Jenna laughed. That little girl was brilliant in her role of ice-breaker.
 

Jenna looked at Sophie with an appreciative smile. "I like muggets, too. Maybe when I eat dinner with your daddy on Friday I'll order some. Sound good?"

Sophie nodded again. "And fry fries."

Jenna smiled so brightly as she moved her eyes from Sophie up to Luke. "Muggets and fry fries?"

"We may go a little nicer," he smiled. "But whatever you like."

Jenna smiled and wrote her number on a sticky note and handed the little paper to Sophie. "Can you give this to your daddy?"

Sophie nodded and handed her picture over to Jenna in trade. "Jenna's picture."