Breathe (24 page)

Lincoln stepped into the hall. Every instinct told him to march into the kitchen

and punch Todd out, brother or no brother, accident or no accident.

He went to shut the door and give them privacy, but the next words stopped

him.

“What about your wife? What was she? Your beard?”

A long pause followed. Then Jay spoke in a low whisper. “She was my…”

Lincoln couldn"t make out the rest. Did he want to hear it?

“And what"s he?” Todd asked. “Whoever that is in your bed, what is he to you?”

“I don"t know.” There was a scrape of a chair and a
thud
as someone dropped

into it. “I wanted to know. To make sure.”

Lincoln backed up into the bedroom and swung the door shut. He pressed his

forehead to the cool wood and held the doorknob in the tight grip of his fist. A dull

ache formed between his eyes. What the hell was he doing? All he was to Jay was

some goddamn experiment.

* * *

Lincoln didn"t look away from the ceiling as he said, “How"d it go?” He should

get off the bed and make for the front door, but his legs weren"t helping him out.

“Like I expected,” Jay said. “He"s always afraid of what our mom will say about

everything. She"s not easy to please.”

“Maybe this isn"t a good idea.”

“What?” Jay asked, the edge of the door still in his grip. “Why?”

“I don"t want to fuck up your life any more than I have.”

“You"re not fucking up my life. Complicating it, maybe.” Jay gave a slight grin

and moved toward the bed.

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121

Lincoln sat up. “This isn"t just a fuck-buddy thing for me. Not anymore.”

Jay froze, the grin gone.

Great, scare the man to death.

He stood, grabbed his leather jacket, and stormed through the house. He didn"t

go for the front door, though. He pulled on his coat and stopped in the middle of the

living room. How had he ended up in her goddamn house? Fucking her husband?

Falling for—No. He couldn"t go there.

Jay"s low, husky whisper from across the room surprised him. “Don"t go.”

Lincoln slowly turned around. Several feet separated them. It didn"t take long

for Jay"s deep breaths to match his.

The doorbell rang, but neither man made a move for it. Jay touched the front

of his T-shirt, gripping the wedding bands through the fabric. His gaze darted

between Lincoln and the door.

“You"re shaking.” Lincoln went to him. He couldn"t stop himself. He caressed

Jay"s biceps, trying to calm him, to ease the nerves, trying not to think about why

Jay didn"t want him to leave.

“Jay, let me in!”

Todd was an ass. No more evidence needed.

He added pounding when he got no response. Three pounds later, the door

swung open. Todd entered, took one look at Lincoln, and said, “No way in hell.”

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Chapter Seventeen

Todd narrowed his eyes until the whites were no longer visible. But the scowl

sure was. The same look he"d given Lincoln in the courtroom months earlier, and

the same guilt settled in Lincoln"s gut like a boulder.

He stood his ground, though. No matter what Jay"s family thought of him or

what he"d done that night on State Road 91, he wasn"t about to leave Jay to deal

with this alone.

Todd looked to Jay. “Is this who you"re fucking?”

“Yes,” Lincoln said. “And he"s damn good at it.”

Todd ignored him and spoke to his brother again. “I hope you"re screwing with

him. I hope you"ve got a reason for this.”

Jay moved in front of Lincoln and said, “I need to speak with my brother.”

Lincoln met his gaze. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. It"s fine.” Fine? The frightened look on Jay"s face didn"t say fine.

He didn"t want to go, but he also wanted to give Jay what he needed. “Great to

meet you, Todd.”

Todd stepped around Jay and came at Lincoln until they stood a mere foot

apart. It took all his resolve to hold back the urge to lay into Todd.

Jay slid in between them. “I"ll call you later, Linc.”

“Yeah. Okay.”

In four quick strides, Todd was at the door. He held it open.
So helpful.

Lincoln glared at the man as he crossed the room. The door slammed shut

behind him, almost hitting his ass. The fucker better not hurt Jay. No matter what

Jay had done and with whom, he didn"t deserve more pain in his life.

* * *

hold it there to keep Lincoln out. Finally, he faced Jay. “What"s going on? Why is he

here? And why the fuck were you in bed with him?”

Jay headed for the kitchen. Lincoln didn"t deserve to hear the verbal shit Todd

was about to spew. He opened the fridge and remembered too late he didn"t have

any beers left.

Todd stormed after him. “Goddammit, Jay! Say something.”

“I didn"t know it was him when I met him.”

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123

“When? Last night?” The surprise in Todd"s voice hit home for Jay how crazy it

would sound to hear about him and Lincoln together.

“I just wanted to know.”

“Know what?”

“About men.”

“About whether you like getting fucked by one?”

Jay slammed the fridge shut. “Don"t be an ass.”

“What the hell? I"m trying to understand.”

“I"m…I"m bisexual.”

Todd rolled his eyes. “I don"t give a shit about that. Fuck whoever you want to.

Just not him.”

“He"s not who you think he is.”

Todd stared from across the kitchen, his mouth open, his tongue hanging out

as if he was about to speak. Or sneeze. Was it too much to hope for the latter? Todd

took a step toward Jay and then, as if he thought better of it, moved back and

leaned against the countertop. “Little brother, this is all too goddamn impossible to

believe. You better tell me what is going on here. You met him?”

Jay nodded.

“And you didn"t know it was him. Did he know who you were?”

“Not at first.”

“He knows now?”

“Yes.”

“Last time we talked about McCaw, you made it seem like you might go

looking for him, to have it out with him, make sure he understood what he did.”

Jay breathed deep. He smelled like sex and sweat; he smelled like Lincoln. He

pulled out a chair from the table and leaned his weight on the seat back. He had no

intention of sitting, but he needed something to help him stand. “He does

understand. He doesn"t take what happened lightly.”

“You mean what he did. He doesn"t take what he did lightly? That"s what

you"re saying?” Todd looked away and glanced out the kitchen doorway into the

living room. Did he notice the missing pictures? Jay had put them in a drawer the

morning after he"d first slept with Lincoln. He couldn"t face her smile, her eyes, but

he also couldn"t get rid of her image. He kept the photo of her in the bedroom. Until

the night before, that was. Until he"d invited Lincoln into his bed.

“Are you fucking with him?” Todd asked without looking back. “Is that what

this is? Tell me you"re getting even with him. That this isn"t—”

“Getting even with him? Why? You think he deserves to pay more than he

has?” Jay glared at Todd. “Are you involved with the threats?”

“Threats?” Todd shook his head. “What the hell are you talking about?”

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Sloan Parker

“Someone"s been sending him notes about the accident—saying he deserves to

suffer.”

“He told you this?”

“I"ve seen the notes. They threaten his family. His little niece.”

“Shit.” Todd dropped into a chair. “Who are they from? You don"t think Mom

would…” He stared at the chair Jay held in his hands. “It would be just like her to

do something that crazy for you.” A sadness Jay had seen too often washed over his

brother. He hunched in the seat.

“I don"t know. I think it might be the Shaws.” Jay sighed and gripped the chair

in his fists. “I don"t want it to be anyone. I just want it to be over.”

“Should we talk to Dad?”

“Lincoln and I are trying to find out for sure who it is. If the notes start up

again, I"ll talk to Stuart.”

Todd jumped out of the chair and ran a hand through his hair. “
Lincoln and

you
? What the fuck are you doing, Jay? He killed your wife, and you"re fucking

him?”

“You don"t understand.”

“No, I don"t. I don"t understand any of this.”

Jay shoved the chair in, and it smacked the edge of the table. “I think you need

to leave.”

Todd"s eyes widened. The wounded look on his brother"s face stung. Was Jay

going to hurt everyone by being with Lincoln?

“Right,” Todd said. He moved to the kitchen doorway and stopped. “Don"t talk

to Stuart alone. He lost his only child. If he"s pissed enough to send threats, he"s not

going to like you siding with McCaw.” He held still a moment more, then walked

out.

Did he think Stuart would actually hurt Jay?

Siding with McCaw? Would Stuart Shaw see it that way?

Yes. There were two sides to every game, and Jay had chosen the wrong team

in so many ways as far as Stuart would be concerned.

Would Todd tell anyone about Lincoln? Their mom?

It didn"t matter. The answers would come soon enough. Too soon.

Jay couldn"t avoid his family. He couldn"t avoid the Shaws either. He had to

talk to them. When the Shaws got home from their trip, he had to make sure the

threats stopped.

* * *

thing, and it was starting to piss him off. He should drape it back over the bike. It

didn"t make sense to keep working on the Harley. So why did he? Was it because it

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125

gave him a reason to hang out with Jay? Or because he really hoped to ride the bike

again?

He"d been doing final adjustments on it all morning, but nothing held his

attention. All he could focus on was the fear in Jay"s eyes the day before. Damn man

had been through enough in life. He didn"t need his family treating him like shit for

whom he chose to sleep with, even if no one would understand how he and Lincoln

had gotten as far as they had. Hell, Lincoln couldn"t understand it.

But if Jay was okay spending time with him, then the asshole brother could

shut his mouth about it.

He kicked the tarp into the corner of the garage. Might as well clean up. He

wasn"t going to make any progress at this rate. He bent to pick up a grease-covered

rag. A small silver gift-wrapped box sitting on the workbench stopped him. An all-

too-familiar paper with typed lettering was tucked under the edge of the red ribbon.

So much for the hope that the Shaws leaving town for three weeks would mean

the end of it.

When had they been in the garage? He hadn"t seen the note when he"d come in

to work on the bike that morning, but he"d been distracted.

He went for the items on the workbench. His hand shook as he lifted them.

Even if he deserved the torment, they had no right to come into his sister"s home.

He read the note.

Don’t forget what you are.

He dropped the paper and tore open the wrapped box. A red die-cast car. Not

the same make or model, but it looked as close as one could come with a toy to

represent Katie Miller"s car.

Someone had beaten the hell out of the tiny car. The top was collapsed in on

the seats, the front window cracked, and the side doors crushed in. The most

disturbing part was the lone handwritten word in black lettering on each side.

Murderer

He tossed the car and box onto the workbench, grabbed a hammer, and threw

it at the back wall of the garage. “Motherfucker.” The resulting
clank
as the

hammer hit the wall full of tools and the
crash
when the lot of them fell to the floor

was satisfying.

“You keep that up, and we"ll be fixing the entire garage.” Jay stood at the side

door. With both the overhead door shut and the side entrance closed behind him,

Lincoln barely saw the man"s face in the shadows of the garage. Was he upset?

Pissed? Why had he come? Lincoln stepped sideways to block Jay"s view of the box

and prize inside. Jay didn"t need to see the smashed car. “You okay?”

“Sure. Sorry my brother"s an ass.”

Lincoln waved a hand through the air. It didn"t matter what Todd had said

about him. It was Jay who didn"t deserve any more shit. “How did he take it?”

“He was surprised.”

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Sloan Parker

Understatement of the year? Lincoln wouldn"t have handled it too well if he"d

found Nancy with one of the assholes who had hurt her.

Jay laughed. “
I’m
surprised most of the time.”

“I remember that feeling.”

“How old were you when you knew?”

Were they really going to pretend this was about Jay being gay? And not who

Lincoln was? Pretend this wasn"t the world"s worst coming-out story?

He could if that"s what Jay needed. “Fourteen. The first high school dance