Breathe Into Me (30 page)

I went ahead and changed out of my ‘study sweats’ and threw on some more people-friendly clothing. It was Friday night, and even though it wasn’t Shot’s most popular night, I didn’t want to go down there looking like a complete slob. Jessi had been on a date with Landon, but they had talked about swinging by, so maybe I could pass the time with them while I waited for Kane to get off work.

I approached the door and waved at doorman, whose name I learned was Jerry. “Hey, Jerry. Busy night?” I asked as I took in the somewhat-long line of people waiting to be let into Shot’s.

“Nah, not too bad. You here to see Kane?” he asked.

I nodded. “Yeah, I finished my studying early and decided to come down and visit a while. No point in sitting upstairs all alone when my boyfriend is just down here right?” I smiled at him as he stepped back to let me enter the bar.

“I guess you’re right. He should be in there somewhere, darlin’. Have a good night.”

I gave Jerry a small wave and made my way into the bar.

It wasn’t super crowded. I had seen it busier, but I was glad for the small numbers tonight. It would make it easier to find Kane. I approached the bar to order a drink while I looked for him. While standing there waiting for the bartender to take my order, a few people stepped away from the bar and I was able to see Kane leaning against the far wall on the other end.

I automatically smiled at the sight of him, but that smile was short-lived when I saw Katie sway her way up to him. I stood there and watched as she placed her hand on his arm and I fought the urge to go break every one of her fingers, but this was a turning point for me. This would be the point where I could put every doubt I had ever had about Kane to rest.

I stood there, the rest of the bar, and everyone in it, melting away until it was just Kane, Katie, and I left. I held my breath waiting for him to shake her hand off his arm … but that didn’t happen. What happened next was Katie pressing her body against my boyfriend before she wrapped her free hand around the back of his neck and brought his lips down to hers.

My stomach dropped to my feet as I watched Kane kiss Katie, and when I couldn’t stomach it anymore, I turned and ran out of the bar. I had made it to the sidewalk when I heard someone calling my name. I couldn’t make out the voice of who it was over the pounding of my heart in my ears, and I didn’t want to turn around in case it was Kane. I didn’t want to see him. I didn’t want to look at him and remember seeing his lips pressed to Katie’s.

I felt a warm hand touch my arm and I immediately jerked away. The pounding in my ears had let up enough by now, though, that I could hear Jessi’s voice talking to me. I looked at her, but her face was all blurry. It was then, I realized, I was trying to look at her through my own tears.

“Kelsey, what the hell is wrong? You’re scaring me!” She firmly took my elbow him her hand. “Where is Kane? Did something happen?”

Just hearing his name wrecked me. I wanted to be away from here, away from him. “Jessi can you take me back to the dorms?” I managed to ask, though my throat closed off on the last couple of words. I was begging my body to go ahead and sob, just go ahead and let it all out right here on the sidewalk, but I wouldn’t do that.

“Sweetie, you have to tell me what’s wrong. You are really scaring me now,” Jessi pleaded with me.

“I need to get out of here right now, Jessi, and I swear I will tell you everything. Just please, take me back to the dorms.”

She nodded and wrapped her arm around me and began walking me toward the parking lot. I then noticed Landon standing a few feet behind her. He was flipping his keys back and forth on his finger. Clearly not knowing how to handle the situation. Just before we walked past him, Jessi paused. “I need you to take us back to the dorms.”

Landon nodded, then pointed over his shoulder with his thumb toward the bar. “Okay, do you want me to run in real quick and let Kane know what’s up?”

“No!” I said a little too loudly but I didn’t want him to tell Kane anything. He had lost the right to know any of my business the minute his lips touched Katie’s. “No. I just want to go to the dorms … now. If you guys are wanting to stay, I will walk back.”

Jessi shook her head. “No, its fine. We will take you.” She then glared at Landon and he hurried along to unlock his truck for us.

I climbed inside Landon’s truck and shut the door. Jessi laced her fingers with mine and gave me a small smile. I wasn’t looking forward to telling her what had happened tonight. She was going to flip her shit and try to kill Kane, I just knew it. But I didn’t want that. I just wanted him out of my life.

I can’t believe I had been so stupid to just give him everything like I had. I guess Nate had been right. I didn’t know the real Kane after all.

As soon as we were back in our dorm, I began telling Jessi everything that had happened that night. How I had finished studying and went to Shot’s to surprise Kane, and how I had found him with Katie. Like I knew she would, she was ready to head over to Shot’s and castrate him.

I loved my best friend. She was always willing to do whatever it took to make me happy, but there was no fixing this. This was a broken heart. I had been stupid enough to trust Kane with the most fragile part of myself, and he had let me down. My heart had already gone through so much when I had lost my mom, that I wasn’t sure if it would ever be right again after what Kane had done to it tonight.

While I had been telling Jessi about what I had seen Kane do, the screen on my cell phone lit up. We ignored it. I didn’t have to look to know who it was from. Finally, after the third time it lit up, Jessi grabbed my phone from my nightstand, “You want me to text him back? Tell him he can go straight to hell and take that whore with him?”

I shook my head. “No. I can handle him.” I took my phone from her hand. “I need to do this alone, though.” I said as I got up and went into the bathroom for some privacy.

When I was in the bathroom, I locked the door then turned to rest my back against it. I stared at my phone and the unopened text messages before I slid my back down the door to sit on the bathroom floor. The first text from him read.

Kelsey, where are you?

Shortly after he sent that one, he sent another.

Baby, I don’t know what happened. Landon just stopped by and told me that Jessi and he found you outside of the bar crying? What is going on?

And then finally...

Talk to me, baby. Please.

I took a deep calming breath before tapping out my reply. My hands were already shaking from the fury I was feeling about what he had done tonight.

Do not text me again. Do not call me. Forget you ever met me, Kane. I’m done. I am SO done.

I took another deep breath to try to calm my nerves, but it didn’t help. My phone shook in my trembling hands, and I could see that Kane was typing out his reply.
Not that it mattered
. There was nothing he could say that would change what he’d done tonight.

My screen lit up again and I looked down.

I am coming over. This is just crazy. I don’t know what’s going on. I leave you, go to work and the next thing I know my best friend is telling me he finds you in the middle of the sidewalk crying your eyes out? I don’t get it Kels. WHAT HAPPENED? ...... I’m on my way now. We are going to talk about this.

My breathing became erratic.
He can’t come over. I can’t face him right now!
He had crushed my entire world, and I wasn’t sure what I would do to him when I came face-to-face with him again.

I quickly tapped out a response.

No, Kane. We are done. I don’t want you to come over. I never want to see you again. You can tell Katie I said Hi … I hope she was worth it...

The tiny box that showed he was typing out a response to me popped up, but then quickly disappeared. I waited a few more seconds on him to respond, but he never did. He knew he had been caught and he had nothing left to say.

I picked myself up off the bathroom floor and turned on the shower. I wanted to cry,
needed
to cry. So I decided the shower was the best place to let it all out. It would mask my sobs from Jessi, and it would hide the obscene amount of tears from myself.

When the hot water of the shower was washing over my body, I sank to the floor and wrapped my arms around my knees. How could I have been so stupid? I wanted to give Kane the benefit of the doubt, that he had changed from the person he used to be … but I guess in the end he was just a good liar. He had lied to me, fooled me into believing he was someone that he was not; and I was an idiot to think that I would ever be enough to be able to hold onto a person like Kane Riley.

No. In the end, the temptation of other women won out, and I was left looking like a fool. I don’t know how long I has sat in the shower before muffled voices carried over the beat of water. I stood up and turned it off and listened for a second.

I could hear Jessi’s high-pitched voice as she yelled, followed by deep rumble of someone calling my name.

“I know she is here, Jessi, and I am going to talk to her about this!” Kane shouted. I didn’t want to face him, but I couldn’t let him keep screaming in the dorms like that. All it was going to do was cause Jessi and I trouble from the RA in the end.

I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my body. As I turned the knob on the door to the bathroom, I could hear Jessi loud and clear.

“You asshole! How could you! And how dare you show up tonight after what you have done!”

I paused and waited for his reply.

“Jessi, you don’t get it. I’m not exactly sure what Kelsey saw but I have to talk to her and explain…”

“I don’t want, nor do I need, an explanation from you, Kane,” I said as I stepped around the bathroom door. My eyes immediately locked with his beautiful, gray eyes.
I would miss staring at those eyes
.

“Baby, listen, we have to talk about this. I don’t think you understand...”

I held up my hand to stop him. “Oh, I understand completely, Kane. I understand that I should have listened to what the people around here, the people who
know
you—know you
better
than I do—had to say about you. You never changed. You were just looking to have a good time with the new girl in town. Well, you have had your fun, and now I would like for you to leave.”

He took one step toward me with his hands extended. I smacked his hands away and took a step back. “Don’t touch me, Kane. Don’t
ever
touch me again. Don’t
contact
me, don’t
think
about me, and don’t come back here again. We are over. You did this. You did this to us. I can’t forgive you, I won’t. I need you to leave now.” My voice was becoming shaky and I knew the tears were about to fall, but I really didn’t want to cry in front of him.

I looked at Jessi, who I had forgotten had been standing there this entire time, and gave her a look for help. She immediately understood and began pushing Kane back toward the door. He didn’t fight her. He could probably see how broken I was about this whole situation all over my face.

I couldn’t stop the one, lone tear that fell from my eyes and rolled down my cheek just before Jessi pushed him out the door, slamming it in his face when he was finally back in the hallway. When the door was closed, she locked it but it didn’t stop the one, loud thump that came from the other side. I would assume it was from Kane hitting the door.

“Kelsey, I love you. I am going to fix this. You will see. I
will
fix this.”

I stood there a minute hugging myself. When it was finally quiet again, and it had seemed like Kane had finally gone home, I went to my bed and crawled in, pulling the covers up to my neck as I did. I didn’t even bother to shed my towel and put on some actual clothes. I was mentally exhausted, and I just wanted to go to sleep and pretend I had never met Kane Riley. Pretend I had not given him a part of me that I could never get back. My heart.