Breathing His Air (26 page)

Her brave face hadn’t fooled Rain this morning, but she was determined not to show fear to whoever was targeting them. She opened a grape lollipop and stuck it in her mouth. She also saw through Rain’s questioning. He suspected whoever was behind the shooting was sending another message to her.

She had a hard time believing this was about her. She made sure she never made any friends on her travels and kept on the move. She had no ties to anyone who’d want to hurt her.

Another car drove up to the window. She quickly tossed her sucker, washed her hands quickly, and turned her attention to her customer. “Good morning, what can I get you today?”

A woman, early twenties, swept her hair over her shoulder and smiled. “A small caramel latte, please.”

“Coming right up.” She pulled the bottle off the shelf, grabbed a cup, and proceeded to whip up the order. She glanced back at the woman. “Along with a purchase, you also receive free love advice.”

The woman laughed. “No problems there. I have a boyfriend.”

“Lucky you.” Tori smiled, handing over the drink and taking the four dollars for the latte. “You can’t beat a day that starts with sunshine, a man at your side, and a dash of caffeine to get your morning started. Enjoy your day.”

“Thank you.” The woman drove away.

A knock came from the other side of the Coffee Shack. She smiled and hurried over to open the door.

Rain stood outside and frowned. “You didn’t look outside to see who was knocking.”

“I knew it was you.” She grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him into the trailer. “Besides, I was wishing you were here … I may have magical powers.”

“You need to pay attention to what’s going on.”

“I’ll be careful.” She wound her arms around his neck. “Super careful.”

She slid her hand into his hair, bent his neck, and rose up on her tiptoes. Her lips touched his mouth. With her body pressed against his, she took her time and built the kiss from nothing to spectacular. She only pulled away when he groaned.

God, he was sexy. She couldn’t stop herself.

“Magic,” she whispered.

He glared down at her, and she didn’t believe for a second he was mad. With his hands firmly planted on her ass, she felt the proof of how much he enjoyed the kiss.

“We got shit to talk about.” He patted her butt and pulled away. “How soon can you close for the day?”

She peered out the window. “I only have fifteen minutes left until closing. I’ll go ahead and clean up. It’s Monday, and people always seem to leave for work earlier. The rush is probably over.”

“I’ll be outside waiting for you, then.” He turned and opened the door.

“Wait.” She whirled around. “After you’re done talking to me, can I borrow the computer in your office?”

His gaze softened. “Sure. You don’t have to ask.”

“Thanks.” She pushed the lid down on the ten-gallon bucket of coffee grounds. “Pauline said she’d forward a couple emails for me, and I’d like to get started. Hopefully this week it won’t take me two days to come up with something inspiring and helpful to say to the letter sender.”

“You’ll do fine.” He glanced out the window. “Make sure you lock up.”

“Got it.” She saluted.

He chuckled. “Goof.”

She grinned, melting inside over how easy it was to change his mood lately, and then set about closing up the Shack. Rain’s laughter soothed her soul. She suspected he wasn’t much of a laugher, and there were times she wondered how long it’d been since he found something to amuse him. With all the businesses he owned, the number of men he led in the club, and his responsibilities within the town, he needed to loosen up.

She vowed to make him smile more. Totally worth it when they went home in the evenings. The man was insatiable when he was happy or bossing her around.

Finished with clean up, she grabbed her purse, jumped down from the Shack, and locked the door. She spotted Rain standing over by a group of bikers near the entrance of the bar and waved.

He continued talking when she approached, but his arm came out and he tucked her into his side, his arm around her shoulders. She smiled at the men and relaxed when they all lifted their chin in her direction. They’d had enough serious talks lately, and Rain needed to get his man chats in about mufflers and new chrome on side plates … whatever that meant.

Whether it was her appearance or the conversation had wound to a close, Rain pivoted her around and into the bar. She followed him into his office and plunked down on the couch. She needed to get an air conditioner unit for her shack. It felt much better inside the office with the cool breeze coming down from the air vent on the ceiling.

Rain swept up a folder and handed it to her. “I had Jim run a background check on you.”

She sat up straighter. “What? Why?”

“Someone is sending you a message, and I think we’ve all realized it isn’t me who’s the target.”

“I can’t believe you did that.” She tossed the folder onto the couch. “All you had to do was ask me anything you wanted to know.”

He squatted in front of her. “You didn’t tell me everything, babe. I had to read it.”

She chewed on her lip. “I’ve told you all the important things, I swear.”

“We need to talk about what I’ve learned,” he said. His voice went low and soft.

“You know … ” She squeezed her hands between her thighs. “It’s in the past, and has nothing to do with what we have going between us. End of subject.”

His chin hit his chest. She squeezed her legs together, trapping her hands to keep from rubbing the scar on her thigh. She wouldn’t blame him if he told her to hit the road.

Tears pricked her eyes. She stared at the top of his head. Worse than waiting for him to reject her was knowing what it felt like to have his love and losing it in the end. She couldn’t deal with the disgust she’d see on his face if he talked about what’d happened.

“Tori.” He sighed, slowly raising his gaze.

She scooted over on the couch to get away from him and stood. “I get it. I do. I’ll drive the truck back to your house, grab my things, and — ”

He grabbed her wrist. “Stop.”

She froze. His thumb stroked the underside of her arm. She blinked rapidly, trying to staunch the tears before they could fall.

“What do you think I’m going to say?”

Unable to look at him, she stared at his large, rough hand holding her wrist with the gentlest of touches. “You don’t understand. I had problems understanding what happened. Because I was a ward of the state, I was required to see a psychiatrist. I’m not crazy.”

“Did you think I would believe you’re mentally unstable because you were given help to understand what you lived through?”

She closed her eyes and nodded.

“Babe. Look at me,” he said.

It was true. She could never outrun her past. No matter how often she created a new identity, inside she always remained the same. She’d always be the twelve-year-old girl whose father shot her mother, shot her, and killed himself. The blood in her veins never changed. She raised her gaze. It was time to stop running.

“I’m sure everything you’ve read about me is true. I spent four years in an alternative school because I withdrew from the world after losing my whole family in one evening. I only talked when necessary. I rocked in bed at night for years and slept only when I collapsed because the nightmares about killed me. I swear to this day, I can still feel the blood rushing through my veins spreading evil. Alone, I fought knowing that I too would end up killing anyone I loved because that’s what my dad believed.”

“Babe — ”

“I’ve traveled for the last six years trying to escape. The first two years, I lived with whoever would let me crash on their couch for a few nights. I saved, I scrounged, I picked pop cans up from the side of the road because I needed the five cents I could get from recycling them. At twenty, I bought the Shack for five hundred dollars.” She inhaled a shuddering breath. “Until I pulled into Pitnam and you started bossing me around, my only goal was to keep ahead of the memories. You gave me an excuse to rely on someone else. I could pretend I couldn’t fight your stubbornness, so I could enjoy letting someone take care of me for a change.”

She dashed away the tear that escaped her lashes. “Then something wonderful happened. I wasn’t pretending anymore to myself even though you — everyone — will now see me as a fake. What I was feeling inside was wonderful and good, and it wasn’t because you’d changed me. I’d changed, because of your love. Whatever you believe from reading the reports, you must remember that. The last few weeks, I wasn’t pretending.”

He studied her, waiting for her to continue. Hollow and rejected, she couldn’t even manage to try to convince him how she was feeling. Disheartened, she reached out and stroked his jaw. She needed to touch him one more time before she ran away.

“Thank you,” she whispered, right before she turned away.

Chapter Thirty-Two

Rain caught Tori before she could step out of his office and out of his life. His chest ached. The tightness he’d experienced since meeting her attacked full force, almost sending him to his knees. He knew only one way to make it stop.

“You’re not running.” He framed her face with his hands. “I won’t let you go.”

“I have to, honey.” This time, the softness in her voice scared him.

“I listened. Now you’ll listen.” He stared into her eyes. “You can’t tell me the woman I know is a fake.”

“I am.” Her voice broke. “I give love advice, Rain. I don’t know a thing about love or relationships. I pretended to know what I was doing with you, and I don’t have a clue. I can’t grow attached to anyone, because something horrendous might happen. Just look what has plagued us since we’ve met. Someone has set fire to your cabin and shot up your house. Who knows what will happen next?”

“Babe … ”

“I’ve been fooling myself, but I can’t keep doing that. You ordering a report on me proves that. My past will always catch up to me, and I’ve stayed too long in one place. I have to run.”

“Can you shut up for two minutes?” He grinned, taking the frustration out of his words. “The first thing I noticed about you, besides that sexy little apron you had on, is how people gravitate toward you.”

“The Lagsturns were trying to kidnap me,” she muttered.

“Yeah, because they saw what I see.” He leaned closer. “You’re giving and kind. All your conversations are centered around what other people want and need, me included. You don’t talk about yourself, and instead you make a person feel like they’re ten feet tall and can conquer the world. You can’t convince me that’s an act, babe. You enjoy making others feel good about themselves. You give them hope. Half the guys here are screwed. They’ve made mistakes. Yet you have them stepping up and taking responsibility for their actions. Why? Cause you’ve given them hope they have a chance at love.”

“They’re good people,” she said.

“Yes, but they didn’t see what you saw in them until you shared it with them. You gave them the tools they were looking for to get what they wanted.” He tilted his head, making sure she kept looking at him. “I know this, because you did it with me. A woman who delivers cookie dough to a man who treated her like shit at the beginning does it out of the kindness of her heart, not because she’s faking it. A woman who shudders under my touch and pulls me into her soul isn’t doing me a favor. Babe … you want to deny what you’re feeling — that’s fine. But you’re my woman. You’re staying with me, and I’ll make damn sure when you’re with me, I have the real you and not the person you’re imagining me seeing. Got it?”

Disbelieve, hope, fear, love radiated through the many expressions she went through. He stayed back, letting her have space to understand what he was telling her. No matter how many times he told her how much she was worth, this was one thing she had to learn on her own and believe.

“If you’re going to fight for what we have together, you need the strength of your own power. The good, the bad, and every ounce of love you carry in the palm of your hand.” He reached out and hooked her neck, bringing her closer. “I have faith in you that you’ll recognize the gift you have and hold it tight. You’re special, babe. I believe it. Now
you
need to start believing it.”

“You’ll make sure I don’t hurt you?” Her breath mingled with his.

He blinked slowly. “You won’t.”

“You have to promise … ”

“I do. I will.” He lowered his head until their foreheads touched. “Shit. Killing me, babe.”

“Don’t move.” She inhaled deeply. “I need your air.”

“You’ve got it, babe. As long as I’m breathing, it’s yours.”

Several seconds later, Tori brought her hands up and laid them flat on his chest. “Can I ask you to do one thing for me?”

“Yeah.” He kissed her softly. “Ask for anything.”

She closed her eyes a moment and struggled with whatever she wanted to say. Finally, she took a deep breath and said, “Teach me how to ride your motorcycle.”

He jerked. “Hell, no.”

“But, honey … ”

“Rule, baby. No one powers my bike. You’re on the back. Done deal.” He snatched his keys off the desk. “We’ll go for a ride and clear our heads. Then we’ll stop at Burger HQ and have a burger and milkshake before heading home for the rest of the day.”

She trailed beside him down the hall, wiping her hands over her cheeks. “You don’t have to work?”

“Taking it off and buying you lunch. You can work in a couple of hours.” He caught Bruce’s eye and pointed toward the door, receiving a nod in return.

“How about you let me do a circle in the parking lot? I won’t go out on the street.” Tori grabbed his arm.

He shifted and threw his arm around her shoulders as he pushed through the front door. “No.”

“Please? I’ll go slow.”

“Not gonna happen.” He picked up the helmet and tossed it to her. “Your ass is made for the back of the seat. Your arms go around me.”

“You can ride on the back, and if I have trouble, you can help.” She latched the strap through the D ring.

He glared. “Ain’t happening.”

“Please?”

He started the engine, drowning out her voice. She wasn’t going to give up. Ever since her first ride, she’d wanted to experience what it would be like to control a big piece of metal going fast down the road.